Letters from the Inside, Sarah Pender, #5

Kelly!

It's been a lovely day. Sun and a breeze in the 70s, a perfect spring day. The sunlight comes in my window as it rises and it warms me just right first thing in the morning. I love how the sun energizes me. What a gift! I'm glad you recovered completely from your bout with food poisoning. God, that's awful. I had food poisoning or something Christmas Eve (2007) and ended up in the infirmary hooked up to an IV and puked violently for sixteen hours, eve AFTER the shot of phegren. HORRIBLE! HORRIBLE! It's like puking your toenails up from the inside out, the being smacked around by a Peterbuilt. My sympathies.

I'd like a picture of Mini. I just adore dogs. I got to se Dewey, the dog I trained at Rockville to assist the handicapped. He's a beautiful red haired Golden. Perfect little guy. I adore the shit out of him.

As much as you enjoy memoirs, autobiographies, I think it'd be great for your to write one. I've found it's hard for me to write from the first person. I'm so close to my life. It's easier to write about something when you are a bit detached. But you are accustomed to writing about yourself obviously.

I like the way you write. Odd, articulate, funny, neurotic, yet strangely familiar. I think I've cracked up a few times while reading your articles, sometimes so hard I nearly piss on myself. I'm not traditionally funny; I'm a dry humor girl. In the movie theater I'm the one laughing when no one else is. Sometimes I embarrass my cowatchers. Oh well. Fuck it. Life's too short not to express ourselves with laughter.

Laughter feels good.

Anyway, if your life is interesting enough for people to read your articles and blog for years, I'm sure you can get published. Yay! A new adventure for you.

I don't' know what the laws are about inmates writing and being published.. I'm looking for an attorney now. I think if it's based on the crime, then I can't profit from it, but I don't know. There are two basic areas I want to cover--my life and the transformation of me as a woman, a spiritual human being through my life, crime, prison stay, escape and the events following it. Then, others are also interested in my life, crime, how I escape, what I did, etc. -- more true crime sort of thing. It could be separated into two books really. And another book is being written by my wife's husband, about her life, of which includes a section or two on me. I got the intro chapter tonight. God, it's weird reading about myself written through someone else's eyes. Imagine the people you have dated/married feel strange reading what you've written about them. How do you feel about broadcasting their personal lives? Have they ever been upset with you about what you've written?

I'm not familiar with Bart. I don't watch much TV, not at all. NASCAR races, a little pro-football, Hell's Kitchen, and when Rock Star aired, I watched both seasons. But otherwise if it's not on History or Discovery Channels, I don't watch it. I did watch the primary coverage and the Presidential debates, though. Neat that you felt compelled to write to Bart. What I find awful is that they government even has the death penalty--let's kill people who kill people to show that killing people is wrong. Do they list HOMICIDE on the death certificate?

I grabbed an Augusten Burroughs book to check out one of your favorites. Haven't started it yet.

I wonder if suicidal tendencies are more prevalent in people who are right brain dominant?

I hope you find your purpose and are filled with joy and completeness when you do those things.

What bring you joy? What makes you smile?

As far as what AMW and the later news reports got wrong, I don't' have all the transcripts from them. I have a transcript my friend typed out from the 14 Feb airing, but otherwise must go from what others told me or the one I saw. I wish I had transcripts from each of the airings. I do know I was offended when they said I was prostituting with a heavy cocaine habit, and that they found me in a drug-infested neighborhood. How untrue! But they can say things like this because no one will check their facts. Jerks. And much more, but it'll only serve to irritate me to go into. Yes, my book will correct the media.

Summer heat is coming. No A/C here. Some fans. I'll be sweating off the sounds for sure. I've lost some already. Unavoidable the way they feed us. No complaints though. I don't expect 4-start treatment. I got a bit of that while out, though. Big, king sized beds, Egyptian cotton sheets, plush bath robes, white tablecloths, restaurants, a few. Nice. Fun. Not bad for a bitch on the run, eh?

Have you started your cooking class? I love to cook. I'd like to get into the Culinary Arts program or the Horticulture program. Learn to grow, learn to cook. I know how to eat. :-) Veggies are so good for you. I hated many of them as a kid if they weren't doused in cheese or ranch sauce. Found out I like them a lot more while out. I guess it's the adult palate.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

You look lovely--you aren't old. Though, I know it makes you look at your life, like, shit, I'm 39 and where is it going? We're at the halfway mark and I'm single and wondering if I'll find that person who compliments me, shares my wacky sense of humor, brings me joy, can righteously fuck me, deal with my bullshit, keeps a job, shares some goals, and if I'm real lucky doesn't more or leave his beard trimmings in the sink. Companionship is nice, but it's also having someone there to acknowledge you and be a witness to your life, and appreciate all of you, the parts your friends can't get. That intimacy is special. I've been lucky in my life to have shared some deep intimacies with some fantastic men and women lovers and had a sexual, mental, and spiritual connection. Otherworldly chemistry.

I'm a lucky woman. Most of the time.

I fully believe I will leave my mark on the world, in a better way than being America's Most Wanted Woman. That's so horrible. I so don't want that to be my legacy. God, no. But I'll use it as a stepping stone to something greater.

I hope this finds you well. I love your articles. They make me laugh. I always invite laughter into my life. So good. Healing!

Take care,

Sarah