Ed.: I find this letter very interesting. Now that Swango knows I'm interested in sociopathy he is consistently sending me things that relate to it. In this letter he admits he has (or "had") sociopathic traits. There is no cure for sociopathy, so it is pretty apparent if he is admitting he was a sociopath, he IS a sociopath. Further, this letter is a prime example of the manipulation tactics of the sociopath and the sexually obsessive nature of them. He even speaks about a female sociopath he had a relationship with and pointed out her charm and sexual obsessiveness. He could easily be speaking about himself and I believe on some level he is. I also find it interesting that he told me to watch the latest HOUSE episode about a female sociopath who poisons a co-worker.
Dear Kelly,
Much to get to, and not as soon as I had hoped. Before your letters, two comments to make on one of your favorite fascinations:
>Not sure if you ever watch "HOUSE". I'm a latecomer to the show--the personal storylines are intriguing. The medical storylines a bit farfetched. The only reason I mention it is that on Mon 25 JAN the episode will involve the treatment of a female sociopath with pain of unknown origin. Apparently she completely charms the male staff, the females not so much. This letter will arrive too late for prior notice--but I know the show is available on-line for your viewing pleasure. If I see it, I will definitely let you know what I think.
>As you well know, the diagnosis or "degrees" of sociopathic personality/behavior can be subjective but the most obvious cases. I must tell you that female sociopaths, or females with sociopathic tendencies, can be absolutely fascinating people. And dangerous of course. Romantic and/or sexual involvement with them can be the ride of one's life, or worse. Again, it is subjective, but in the past I have been deeply involved with one woman who I am sure was a sociopath, and another who--if she wasn't--was damn close.
Should we ever be able to take our correspondence (I dare not say "relationship" or even "understanding"...) to the "next level", I am sure my recounting and our discussion of intense relationships would be most interesting and illuminating.
KK-You know that you keep a "therapeutic" distance---must like a therapist and patient---far more than anyone who has ever written to me...
And yes: since as we've already discussed I had some of those very traits/behaviors myself--I saw what they were and still could not resist... You do not allow discussion of details but I will tell you (no surprise) that women of that kind are extremely passionate and willing sexually, and know how to use their willingness to engage in all sex acts to further their own agendas... But again, it is their emotional & personal manipulations & uncanny abilities to persuade that you would find even more fascinating.
I know you said you have had dealings with such a person, but can' t discuss now. We can wait...
***
Must ask if you can send an article from "New York" magazine--one I know you either subscribe to or read regularly.
It's an article by John Heilemann in either (I think) they 11 JAN or 18 JAN issue of New York magazine.
It's an excerpt from the book he co-authored: GAME CHANGE about the 08 campaign - about the Edwards campaign. Thank you as always.
OK now to your letters:
Congrats on your contest win. Very succinct, very clever. You are a wordsmith- something I respect a lot.
Your complex life- despite your protestations to the contrary-never ceases to amaze me!
Miles to go---secrets to keep--stories to tell---before you sleep.... You have so many fans of your blog and have so much to look forward to, KK.
Thank you for the info about The Kindly Ones and Wetlands. Odd that they are both out in paperback on the same day, 31 JAN.
It really is interesting to me that as a straight woman who has lived in New York forever---who bears some similarities to the "New York" woman made famous and/or popularized, in "Sex and the City" and about a thousand romantic comedies set in that city---that you don't have many gay men or friends.
AND that you have no ideas why gay men & straight women do share--at times--an intense bond??
And that you really don't seem to care.
"Do elaborate as long as your commentary doesn't get too creepy." Now that hurts :). I'll think about it...what is it you don't want me to say?
**Your story of Ronald Tackmann was quite entertaining; however, Kelly---probably not the best idea to send any similar stories or anything on that topic in general. If you just think for a minute, you will, I'm sure, understand why completely. Thanks!
[Ed.: I sent him an article about an artistic escapee. Ronald Tackmann has escaped in NY and is a savant. He is also an amazing artist, sculpting things out of toilet paper and using paint made from food in prison.]
Now to your second letter, a rare handwritten missive on one of your vintage cards: As I said before, I hope Ms. Knox has the personal & emotional reserves to handle what is to come. She has been totally trashed in the Italian media for several years now. Not sure if you heard the news that the black drifter's sentence was reduced on appeal almost in half-from 25 years to 14 years. This is apparently quite common within the Italian justice system. So--encouraging for the Knox family I am sure.
Not surprised you did not like "Revolutionary Road" the film. I'm starting to detect a pattern! The book by Richard Yates, written in 1961 , is now considered a classic of post-war ennui and how the rigid "Mad Men" society of the times discouraged differences and dreams.
Yes: that Don Draper vs. Tony Soprano companion deserves to be fleshed out in a much longer piece. You would be the perfect person to do it, too.
SEINFELD Reference: "Summer of George" episode: catfights - Raquel Welch, etc.
"Lake Bell is really unattractive and I find her to be highly annoying."
MEOW REEEARRR!!! Catfight! :)
I can probably guess what you think about Brittany Murphy's eyes...and probably the impressive (to me) young actresses Amber Tamblyn & Brittany Snow.
Do tell me about the Polish film, "REVERSE". Have not heard anything about it.
Glad to hear about your new client and possibly a second one as well. Has your business -- in general--weathered the worst of the downturn?
I think I mentioned seeing "No Country for Old Men" and "Gone Baby Gone." Both dark & bleak & brilliant. By now you know totally my kind of film.
However, I am quite eclectic. Also saw your actress Amy Adams in her brilliant performance in "Julie & Julia". I was actually thinking I would not like it, but hers and Meryl Streep's performance won me over.
I also learned a lot/as I know next to nothing about how Julia Childs came to be and her enormous impact on American cuisine & cooking.
Astonishing to find out that in 1949, there was no English language book of French cooking!
And for a pretty good cook & "foodie" like yourself, KK--I'm sure that film was like the product cooked up in "Breaking Bad..."
Must get this in the mail. Delay caused by no stamps/cash flow/c'est la vie...
Stay warm, Kelly---spring will get here...sometime. Take care of your lovely self and write soon.
Yours,
Michael
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Letters from the Inside, Thomas Whitaker, #18
Dear Kelly,
Howdy. Just got your postcard from the Waldorf-Astoria, and I am concerned that you aren't getting my letters. You didn't make mention that you had received any from me lately, and were concerned that I was talking about you in my Dec blog posts. Not at all, Kelly, Not even close. You don't annoy me in the slightest. I have always enjoyed your letters and your way of thinking. You are a survivor, and I respect that...exactly the opposite of the people was referring to. Anyways, I am hoping that my last letter eventually will make it to you, as I went into this a bit. I really don't know how to explain what is going on with the mail room. Its like there are periods of loss, specifically aimed at certain people. I wrote Tracey for two years, without any problems. Maybe one or two lost letters, and then in Nov/Dec, virtually half got lost, and the other half was held for several seeks here in the mailroom. Now we seem back on he normal 10 day travel time. It's like they pick people each month to investigate, and somewhere in this office things are disappearing. I know you write other inmates. Have you ever experienced this in other states? Thanks for the article on Ronald Tackman and his escape. I had heard about this on the evening news, but it was fun to read the details. I can't believe Rikers Island is so porous. We do jails differently in Texas. Pity the guy who can't figure out what to do with himself after he makes it to Point B. That does seem to be the weak link in most escape plans.
I took my first PHIL 203 test last Friday. It was...well, philosophers are all a little nuts, so who know how I did. Six essay questions, and the attorney that gave it to me looked amused at the questions. I think I did good. Subjective grading schemes have always scared me a little, though. Especially when you are getting tested on something so subjective as the Sophists. Give me easily quantifiable stuff any day.
In case y last letter doesn't make it, I wanted to thank you for sending the PEN stuff. I am looking it over, and will probably submit something. Why not? It looks like a good program. I may edit my Polk County entries a bit and submit them as one piece.
What's new in NY? You mentioned that you had found a new client? Hopefully not another deadbeat. If, by chance you don't get m y last letter, do you have a copy of your letter which preceded it? I know you asked something about the law, and I wrote a little about how I taught myself, but I don't remember specifics. If you need for me to answer that again , please reprint out your questions I don't really know the best way to go about learning civil law. I pretty much learned by trial and error. I would listen to a few of the older guys, and then go request materials from the law library, in order to understand what they were talking about. Eventually, things started to mesh. Sort of like learning a new city: you first learn where the grocery store is. Then, the post office. You may not understand how these two places relate to the city at large, but you have a map of your house and the store and then your house and the post office, and how they relate. I'm still figuring stuff out, though. I am constantly hearing about this case or that case, and having to go look it up. It would be easier if I could actually GO to the law library, instead of requesting things, but that is not likely to change any time soon. There is really only one area of law that I would claim to be nearly an expert, and that is on 42 USC Section 1983, or civil rights cases for inmates. I think I have a handle on that, finally. I would best there are "Do-It-Yourself" websites out there for civil law. Like templates for various types of motions, where you just fill in the names and facts. Judges tend to be somewhat lenient with pro se applicants, so that work in your favor. If you do find such a site, let me know the address. I might like to check it out.
Well, I hope that this finds you well. Let me know if you are getting these. If not, you might consider trying the JPAY email system I mentioned on mb6 awhile back. It seems to be pretty well done. We don't always get everything within the guaranteed 48 hours, but I've only lost a few emails in a few months. Certainly a better record than regular mail. Until then, stay safe.
TBW
Howdy. Just got your postcard from the Waldorf-Astoria, and I am concerned that you aren't getting my letters. You didn't make mention that you had received any from me lately, and were concerned that I was talking about you in my Dec blog posts. Not at all, Kelly, Not even close. You don't annoy me in the slightest. I have always enjoyed your letters and your way of thinking. You are a survivor, and I respect that...exactly the opposite of the people was referring to. Anyways, I am hoping that my last letter eventually will make it to you, as I went into this a bit. I really don't know how to explain what is going on with the mail room. Its like there are periods of loss, specifically aimed at certain people. I wrote Tracey for two years, without any problems. Maybe one or two lost letters, and then in Nov/Dec, virtually half got lost, and the other half was held for several seeks here in the mailroom. Now we seem back on he normal 10 day travel time. It's like they pick people each month to investigate, and somewhere in this office things are disappearing. I know you write other inmates. Have you ever experienced this in other states? Thanks for the article on Ronald Tackman and his escape. I had heard about this on the evening news, but it was fun to read the details. I can't believe Rikers Island is so porous. We do jails differently in Texas. Pity the guy who can't figure out what to do with himself after he makes it to Point B. That does seem to be the weak link in most escape plans.
I took my first PHIL 203 test last Friday. It was...well, philosophers are all a little nuts, so who know how I did. Six essay questions, and the attorney that gave it to me looked amused at the questions. I think I did good. Subjective grading schemes have always scared me a little, though. Especially when you are getting tested on something so subjective as the Sophists. Give me easily quantifiable stuff any day.
In case y last letter doesn't make it, I wanted to thank you for sending the PEN stuff. I am looking it over, and will probably submit something. Why not? It looks like a good program. I may edit my Polk County entries a bit and submit them as one piece.
What's new in NY? You mentioned that you had found a new client? Hopefully not another deadbeat. If, by chance you don't get m y last letter, do you have a copy of your letter which preceded it? I know you asked something about the law, and I wrote a little about how I taught myself, but I don't remember specifics. If you need for me to answer that again , please reprint out your questions I don't really know the best way to go about learning civil law. I pretty much learned by trial and error. I would listen to a few of the older guys, and then go request materials from the law library, in order to understand what they were talking about. Eventually, things started to mesh. Sort of like learning a new city: you first learn where the grocery store is. Then, the post office. You may not understand how these two places relate to the city at large, but you have a map of your house and the store and then your house and the post office, and how they relate. I'm still figuring stuff out, though. I am constantly hearing about this case or that case, and having to go look it up. It would be easier if I could actually GO to the law library, instead of requesting things, but that is not likely to change any time soon. There is really only one area of law that I would claim to be nearly an expert, and that is on 42 USC Section 1983, or civil rights cases for inmates. I think I have a handle on that, finally. I would best there are "Do-It-Yourself" websites out there for civil law. Like templates for various types of motions, where you just fill in the names and facts. Judges tend to be somewhat lenient with pro se applicants, so that work in your favor. If you do find such a site, let me know the address. I might like to check it out.
Well, I hope that this finds you well. Let me know if you are getting these. If not, you might consider trying the JPAY email system I mentioned on mb6 awhile back. It seems to be pretty well done. We don't always get everything within the guaranteed 48 hours, but I've only lost a few emails in a few months. Certainly a better record than regular mail. Until then, stay safe.
TBW
Monday, January 25, 2010
Letters from the Inside, Sarah Pender, #26
Dear Kelly,
My God, I needed your humor today, Kel. Really, you are one of my only sources of humor in my life. It's like eating a super loaded baked potato after months of greasy fries. Refreshing and good. Your blogs are always entertaining.
[Ed.: I sent her the blog entries I wrote on my CL Rant and about people with bad eyebrows.]
You think you don't have the talent or grammar skills to be a writer. Well, first off, you have been a writer, so that logic doesn't work. You have talent. Maybe it stems from your neuroses, but you've got it. And you have better grammer than 70% of Americans. And that's what an editor is for or a copy edit service. Easy. So now you have no valid excuse not to write. You choose not to write. Own your choice, don't give reasons. Reasons are for people too small to be responsible for their lives.
You crack me up. You included your Rant and said, "I hope you are not offended by the harshness of it." Kelly, I am in prison on a case that involved two murders by my boyfriend, a former drug dealer. I fucked a guard and trafficked contraband in order to escape a max prison. I use "dyke" and "hooker" as terms of endearment for my friends. I have had sex in a public establishment. Perhaps I don't use "obscene" language regularly in our letters, but it certainly isn't because I don't know how to use them. No, honey. I am certainly not offended. And you can use whatever language you want in your letters. We get read and sometimes censored for dangerous topics, but most of our free speech rights are intact. Curse freely. Use cock, dick, cunt, fuck. It doesn't matter.
FUCK. It does a body good. :)
You are so fun.
And clearly, you know how to tell a man about himself. I only wish all jerks could get one of these BRUTALLY honest notes from the women they've affected, and really, we all need one of these now and then. Do a check--to get how we occur to other people. We dohnt' have to take it all and crumble into an emotional wreck at our inadequacies, ut it could provide solme helpful guidance net time one is looking to do a little self-improvement, or wondering why one is unhappy, single, underappreciated, underpaid, or underemployed.
For instance, there's thsi guy who worked at the prison who had been therel ike 15 years and hadn't been promoted. He could really use one of those letters. I've learned that there are a lot of people who go around totally oblivious to their own shortcomings or offensive behavior. I am convinced that 2 of his problems were--
1) His breath linger in your nostrils long after you discovered you got too close.
2) He had these perpetual boogers flapping out at you, clinging to his overgrown nose hairs.
I remember when he was trying to get laid by me or my friends. I would try to help him out. Sometimes I'd say, "Hey," and rub the tip of my giner along my nostril. He' d blow his nose, then rub the tissue over his nose. And they'd still be there! Or I hand him a piece of tissue and say, "Here. You need this." Eventually, I lost all tact. "John you've got a bat in the cave." or send him to hte bathroom to dig it all out.
I didn't have the heart to address his breath. I don't even know how to bring that one up.
It's easier to do when you're angry. Even then,I just tell my friends, but never the offending party. It seems mean, but I see how it could be very helpful.
Whatever. That was some good stuff. Thanks for sharing it with me. I'm passing it on to a friend who needs a laugh.
Yay! For you to have one, possibly, two new clients. Stress is lifting a little, huh? But God, maybe not with a $1600 /mo rent. Jesus Christ. What kind of money do New Yorkers make? A four bedroom house on the lake can be had for that sort of money out there. Sheesh.
You've been getting migraines and nosebleeds. Have you had your blood pressure checked? Those aren't usually assocated with joint alignment. Tha'ts a concern. And migraines are so paralyzing---I get them too. That sucks.
When people are giving you shit about your OCD, etc. or complain because it affects them, it's because they realy don't know what it is like, over there, being you. I have no clue what it is like to NOT BE ABLE to comfortably leave w/o a shower. I can easily throw my hair in a hat, brush my teeth, put on a running suit and walk to the 7-eleven for a paper and an orange juice.l NOt a problem. Now, going on a date--totally gotta shower. My friend Heather must shower 3-5 times a day. It drives me nutty sometimes, but only if she's holding the rest of us up, because it is one thing for her to be OCD, it's another when she's inconsiderate about it.
What I did was I got that she is compelled to shower repeatedly. Ok. So when we have dinner plans, I know i won't get pre-dinner company. She shows up right as I"m serving food. If it's a short notice, I plate her food , cover it, and we go on eating. She eats when she is done showering. This is not a problem. Anyone who complains about it is letting circumstances run them. I am much bigger than my circumstances of having a friend who is late or spend time in the shower. It could just as easliy be her times w/her kids. Who are we to judge?
I saw a show where it revealed that Howie Mandell has severe OCD.l It was sad. He's a germaphobe. It really affected his family. He even built a house out back where he goes when it gets to be too much. But the family just created new norms and didn't let it lower their quality of life. HOwie was great on the show. A real guy.
Be assured that even if you mess up on your motions to the court, there are provisions that say if a person goes pro se, that the court will overlook or help guide in cases where mistakes are made. MOTION TO DISMISS DUMBASS LAWSUIT.
You know, I was real upset at first from being isolated longer than my year of punishment, but I got over it. It's just circumstances. Fuck it. I'll mj ake the best of whatever comes my way. Will it be better in open population? In some way, yes. In some ways, no. I"ll be able to see a few friends who are real good women. Intelligent. Fun. Supportive. I"ll be able to eat better. Have contact visits. Walk around Get a job. Make phonecalls anytime I want. Do programs. Sing in a choir. But I"ll also be arond more noise and have a roommate who m ay ormay not be pleasant. In 10 years, I've had some undesireable people I've lived with. They don't last long. They either go to lock, get moved, or go home. Almost all the assholes are short-term sentences. It is more dangerous? I guess. Women's prison isn't dangerous like the movies. Women only fight their girlfriends or after an ongoing argument. I rarely argue. If I do, the other person usually apologizes to me, or at least leavesm e the fuck alone. I am not physically intimidating, but am very convincing. Arguing with me is like trying to argue with your psychiatrist. It gets sorted out very quickly.
I am an eyebrow spotter. I don't require or suggest anyone have perfectly shaped, plucked, streamlined eyebrows. But there should be some shape. A little arch. And clean up errant hairson the bridge of your nose, or the ones that creep up your temple. I actually saw a model in a Vanity Fair ad - I"ll find it and put it in here, that had awful brows. It unnerves me.
My favoriate part: Tiny yellow Post-its over the brows. Face Flair. That's really good stuff. All of it-great.
Thanks for the laugh.
I hope you are well. I always look forward to the latest news in your world. Fun!
Best wishes,
Sarah
My God, I needed your humor today, Kel. Really, you are one of my only sources of humor in my life. It's like eating a super loaded baked potato after months of greasy fries. Refreshing and good. Your blogs are always entertaining.
[Ed.: I sent her the blog entries I wrote on my CL Rant and about people with bad eyebrows.]
You think you don't have the talent or grammar skills to be a writer. Well, first off, you have been a writer, so that logic doesn't work. You have talent. Maybe it stems from your neuroses, but you've got it. And you have better grammer than 70% of Americans. And that's what an editor is for or a copy edit service. Easy. So now you have no valid excuse not to write. You choose not to write. Own your choice, don't give reasons. Reasons are for people too small to be responsible for their lives.
You crack me up. You included your Rant and said, "I hope you are not offended by the harshness of it." Kelly, I am in prison on a case that involved two murders by my boyfriend, a former drug dealer. I fucked a guard and trafficked contraband in order to escape a max prison. I use "dyke" and "hooker" as terms of endearment for my friends. I have had sex in a public establishment. Perhaps I don't use "obscene" language regularly in our letters, but it certainly isn't because I don't know how to use them. No, honey. I am certainly not offended. And you can use whatever language you want in your letters. We get read and sometimes censored for dangerous topics, but most of our free speech rights are intact. Curse freely. Use cock, dick, cunt, fuck. It doesn't matter.
FUCK. It does a body good. :)
You are so fun.
And clearly, you know how to tell a man about himself. I only wish all jerks could get one of these BRUTALLY honest notes from the women they've affected, and really, we all need one of these now and then. Do a check--to get how we occur to other people. We dohnt' have to take it all and crumble into an emotional wreck at our inadequacies, ut it could provide solme helpful guidance net time one is looking to do a little self-improvement, or wondering why one is unhappy, single, underappreciated, underpaid, or underemployed.
For instance, there's thsi guy who worked at the prison who had been therel ike 15 years and hadn't been promoted. He could really use one of those letters. I've learned that there are a lot of people who go around totally oblivious to their own shortcomings or offensive behavior. I am convinced that 2 of his problems were--
1) His breath linger in your nostrils long after you discovered you got too close.
2) He had these perpetual boogers flapping out at you, clinging to his overgrown nose hairs.
I remember when he was trying to get laid by me or my friends. I would try to help him out. Sometimes I'd say, "Hey," and rub the tip of my giner along my nostril. He' d blow his nose, then rub the tissue over his nose. And they'd still be there! Or I hand him a piece of tissue and say, "Here. You need this." Eventually, I lost all tact. "John you've got a bat in the cave." or send him to hte bathroom to dig it all out.
I didn't have the heart to address his breath. I don't even know how to bring that one up.
It's easier to do when you're angry. Even then,I just tell my friends, but never the offending party. It seems mean, but I see how it could be very helpful.
Whatever. That was some good stuff. Thanks for sharing it with me. I'm passing it on to a friend who needs a laugh.
Yay! For you to have one, possibly, two new clients. Stress is lifting a little, huh? But God, maybe not with a $1600 /mo rent. Jesus Christ. What kind of money do New Yorkers make? A four bedroom house on the lake can be had for that sort of money out there. Sheesh.
You've been getting migraines and nosebleeds. Have you had your blood pressure checked? Those aren't usually assocated with joint alignment. Tha'ts a concern. And migraines are so paralyzing---I get them too. That sucks.
When people are giving you shit about your OCD, etc. or complain because it affects them, it's because they realy don't know what it is like, over there, being you. I have no clue what it is like to NOT BE ABLE to comfortably leave w/o a shower. I can easily throw my hair in a hat, brush my teeth, put on a running suit and walk to the 7-eleven for a paper and an orange juice.l NOt a problem. Now, going on a date--totally gotta shower. My friend Heather must shower 3-5 times a day. It drives me nutty sometimes, but only if she's holding the rest of us up, because it is one thing for her to be OCD, it's another when she's inconsiderate about it.
What I did was I got that she is compelled to shower repeatedly. Ok. So when we have dinner plans, I know i won't get pre-dinner company. She shows up right as I"m serving food. If it's a short notice, I plate her food , cover it, and we go on eating. She eats when she is done showering. This is not a problem. Anyone who complains about it is letting circumstances run them. I am much bigger than my circumstances of having a friend who is late or spend time in the shower. It could just as easliy be her times w/her kids. Who are we to judge?
I saw a show where it revealed that Howie Mandell has severe OCD.l It was sad. He's a germaphobe. It really affected his family. He even built a house out back where he goes when it gets to be too much. But the family just created new norms and didn't let it lower their quality of life. HOwie was great on the show. A real guy.
Be assured that even if you mess up on your motions to the court, there are provisions that say if a person goes pro se, that the court will overlook or help guide in cases where mistakes are made. MOTION TO DISMISS DUMBASS LAWSUIT.
You know, I was real upset at first from being isolated longer than my year of punishment, but I got over it. It's just circumstances. Fuck it. I'll mj ake the best of whatever comes my way. Will it be better in open population? In some way, yes. In some ways, no. I"ll be able to see a few friends who are real good women. Intelligent. Fun. Supportive. I"ll be able to eat better. Have contact visits. Walk around Get a job. Make phonecalls anytime I want. Do programs. Sing in a choir. But I"ll also be arond more noise and have a roommate who m ay ormay not be pleasant. In 10 years, I've had some undesireable people I've lived with. They don't last long. They either go to lock, get moved, or go home. Almost all the assholes are short-term sentences. It is more dangerous? I guess. Women's prison isn't dangerous like the movies. Women only fight their girlfriends or after an ongoing argument. I rarely argue. If I do, the other person usually apologizes to me, or at least leavesm e the fuck alone. I am not physically intimidating, but am very convincing. Arguing with me is like trying to argue with your psychiatrist. It gets sorted out very quickly.
I am an eyebrow spotter. I don't require or suggest anyone have perfectly shaped, plucked, streamlined eyebrows. But there should be some shape. A little arch. And clean up errant hairson the bridge of your nose, or the ones that creep up your temple. I actually saw a model in a Vanity Fair ad - I"ll find it and put it in here, that had awful brows. It unnerves me.
My favoriate part: Tiny yellow Post-its over the brows. Face Flair. That's really good stuff. All of it-great.
Thanks for the laugh.
I hope you are well. I always look forward to the latest news in your world. Fun!
Best wishes,
Sarah
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Letters from the Inside, Justin Barber, #2
Hey Kelly,
I hope this letter finds you safe and well. Thanks for writing again, althugh I wasn't able to receive your last letter. I've enclosed a copy of the unathorized Mail Return Receipt pertaining to your letter. you shoudl receive a copy from the mail room and the rejected mail, but it could be a while. I decided to send you my copy so you'll know why I haven't responded to your letter and so you'll have the mail rules. Of course it's nice to hear my nail at mail call, and it's disappointing to only receive a rejection notice. It must be how Charlie Brown feels when Lucy snatchs the football away while he tries to kick it. [Ed.: I sent him a small snapshot taken of me on New Year's Eve so he could see what I look like. While photos are allowed, I happen to cut someone out of this one and then taped the small picture of me to the letter. I didn't realize that one is not allowed to tape anything to a letter.]
I'm well. it's been cold here lately with los in the teens (extreme cold for NW Florida). The weather has limited our time outside on the Recreation Yard and my running is suffering. The staff here have been using the time indoors to thoroughly and repeatedly shake the place down, searching for drugs and cell phones. Ironically, most drugs and phones are introduced to the facility by members of the staff. Calls to approved phone numbers are allowed via land line at roughly $2 per 15 minutes, but contraband cell phones are still an issue. Possessing a cell phone is a felony carrying up to 2 years, so it's serious business getting caught with one.
Having re-read the card you sent in December, I'm interested in what you mean by having recently privatized your blog. Do you mean the blog is a commercial endeavor available to paying customers or is it available only to select friends and acquaintances? And of course I'd like to receive stories from your blog. Or from anywhere else for that matter. Intellectual stimulation, well, any type of stimulation, really, is in short supply here.
I need to close. It's chow time. The DOC has eliminated virtually all meat protein from the menu and replaced it with TVP (texturized vegetable protein). From what I understand, it's derived from the oil component of soy beans and shipped in a dehydrated flake form. It's re-hydrated here and used as a meat substitute. TVP is basically the residue or waste/recovered part of the soy bean, or do I'm told. I do know it absolutely wreaks havoc on the digestive system. With 56 men living in a space roughly the size of 2 raquetball courts, TVP has not been well-received by the inmate population. You probably didn't need ot know that. I don't like to complain, but I'm 5'9" and 145lbs at last weigh-in and I'm starving to death. But when I think about it I'd be the last person to advocate prisoner rights. At least not if all the prisoners are actually guilty.
Take care,
Justin
I hope this letter finds you safe and well. Thanks for writing again, althugh I wasn't able to receive your last letter. I've enclosed a copy of the unathorized Mail Return Receipt pertaining to your letter. you shoudl receive a copy from the mail room and the rejected mail, but it could be a while. I decided to send you my copy so you'll know why I haven't responded to your letter and so you'll have the mail rules. Of course it's nice to hear my nail at mail call, and it's disappointing to only receive a rejection notice. It must be how Charlie Brown feels when Lucy snatchs the football away while he tries to kick it. [Ed.: I sent him a small snapshot taken of me on New Year's Eve so he could see what I look like. While photos are allowed, I happen to cut someone out of this one and then taped the small picture of me to the letter. I didn't realize that one is not allowed to tape anything to a letter.]
I'm well. it's been cold here lately with los in the teens (extreme cold for NW Florida). The weather has limited our time outside on the Recreation Yard and my running is suffering. The staff here have been using the time indoors to thoroughly and repeatedly shake the place down, searching for drugs and cell phones. Ironically, most drugs and phones are introduced to the facility by members of the staff. Calls to approved phone numbers are allowed via land line at roughly $2 per 15 minutes, but contraband cell phones are still an issue. Possessing a cell phone is a felony carrying up to 2 years, so it's serious business getting caught with one.
Having re-read the card you sent in December, I'm interested in what you mean by having recently privatized your blog. Do you mean the blog is a commercial endeavor available to paying customers or is it available only to select friends and acquaintances? And of course I'd like to receive stories from your blog. Or from anywhere else for that matter. Intellectual stimulation, well, any type of stimulation, really, is in short supply here.
I need to close. It's chow time. The DOC has eliminated virtually all meat protein from the menu and replaced it with TVP (texturized vegetable protein). From what I understand, it's derived from the oil component of soy beans and shipped in a dehydrated flake form. It's re-hydrated here and used as a meat substitute. TVP is basically the residue or waste/recovered part of the soy bean, or do I'm told. I do know it absolutely wreaks havoc on the digestive system. With 56 men living in a space roughly the size of 2 raquetball courts, TVP has not been well-received by the inmate population. You probably didn't need ot know that. I don't like to complain, but I'm 5'9" and 145lbs at last weigh-in and I'm starving to death. But when I think about it I'd be the last person to advocate prisoner rights. At least not if all the prisoners are actually guilty.
Take care,
Justin
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Letters from the Inside, Sarah Pender, #25
Dear Kelly,
I read the article you sent me on prison programs and the insert on PEN Prison Writing Program. The article is right up my alley! Those are programs I've been working on developing for here. It was inspiring. You always pick great articles to send. The other article on the escapee guy, I could not have. They took it out of the envelope. Apparently, it is inappropriate content for me to receive. (I feel like I am ten years sold sometimes). They censor guns and knives magazines, anything racist, anarchist, escape-related, all nudity (like we don't know what naked people look like), etc. I think because it had illustrations and specifics about his escape was the issue. I'd like to know the reason you found him fascinating. I saw from your post-card that he is an artist.
I actually heard of the PEN writing contest. I ordered the handbook last year but the entries had to be in by September. I'd like to get involved with a mentor and write a piece, but honestly, I dont' think I am good enough. There was another contest back in October I could have entered, but didn't because I dont' know what to write about. I don't find my own life interesting enough that other people really want to read about it, which sounds stupid because I am writing a book, but I know people are interested in this because they've proved it.
I can write some kick ass stuff with just a tiny bit of guidance. LIke, if it's for a creative writing class, I did great. But pulling it out of my ass seems hard. Do you have any suggestions? What should I write about?
Where do you get all these ancient postcards? [Ed.: I collect vintage cards and postcards and use them to write to prisoners.]
I worte some pretty good stuff when I was in Creative Writing 401 my senior year, just a few years ago. I always got top scores, but figured the bar was set pretty low being in prison. I judge myself against established writer, people who studied to be writers, who've become the best. Such a dumb thing to do, I suppose. That's no way to set myself up for success.
Perhaps I will write a short non-fiction piece on my experience in solitary confinement--with all the nutty-ass characters I've encountered over the post years, as well as the tragic environment. It borders on absurd.
Or a short fiction piece--perhaps a children's story. I once wrote a scene of a play based on my freshman year at Purdue, integrating a buddy of mine who is a Satanist rocker chic who carries a rabbit's skull for good luck and wears puppies and kittens flannel pajamas. She's a riot.
How are you doing? I miss reading your blogs. You write the funniest shit, Kelly. You should definitely start your book.
In other news...I have none. Just more of being locked in a fucking room.
My mom met with the guy who is writing a book about me to sell him photos of me growing up. That's a strange feeling. someone buying snapshots of my life. Creepy! For all to see. I dind't even get to pick them. Oh well. Anyway, I gues there' s a couple with my ex-boyfriend, David, like prom and stuff, and I think he should have a say in if his photo is blasted across the nation. So it's given me a reason to contact him again, after nearly 9 years. This pleases me. I love the crap out of this man, even though I was the one who broke it off with him and it was him who chased me. We fell apart for a few reasons, but ultimately, he is a fantastic guy. A guy I should've stayed with. He would have never killed anyone, and if he did, he has the balls to own up to it. Sorry, I digress. This is someone I was with from age 17-20. We were a constant in a world of change. If I had to pick one man to spend eternity with, it would be him. He isn't rich or have model looks, but he is capable, honest, loving and is good in bed. Anyway, it will be nice to talk to him again. Something I am looking forward to doing.
After I left him, I stumbled from one bad affair to the next. They were so bad, I could write a short story about them. Honestly, I wonder if PEN Writing would disqualify the story if it included a tiny-dick story?
I hope you are well and finding some good luck and opportunities. You deserve them.
Best--
Sarah
P.S. Can you send me the topics for the next 6 months of Readers Write from The Sun?
I read the article you sent me on prison programs and the insert on PEN Prison Writing Program. The article is right up my alley! Those are programs I've been working on developing for here. It was inspiring. You always pick great articles to send. The other article on the escapee guy, I could not have. They took it out of the envelope. Apparently, it is inappropriate content for me to receive. (I feel like I am ten years sold sometimes). They censor guns and knives magazines, anything racist, anarchist, escape-related, all nudity (like we don't know what naked people look like), etc. I think because it had illustrations and specifics about his escape was the issue. I'd like to know the reason you found him fascinating. I saw from your post-card that he is an artist.
I actually heard of the PEN writing contest. I ordered the handbook last year but the entries had to be in by September. I'd like to get involved with a mentor and write a piece, but honestly, I dont' think I am good enough. There was another contest back in October I could have entered, but didn't because I dont' know what to write about. I don't find my own life interesting enough that other people really want to read about it, which sounds stupid because I am writing a book, but I know people are interested in this because they've proved it.
I can write some kick ass stuff with just a tiny bit of guidance. LIke, if it's for a creative writing class, I did great. But pulling it out of my ass seems hard. Do you have any suggestions? What should I write about?
Where do you get all these ancient postcards? [Ed.: I collect vintage cards and postcards and use them to write to prisoners.]
I worte some pretty good stuff when I was in Creative Writing 401 my senior year, just a few years ago. I always got top scores, but figured the bar was set pretty low being in prison. I judge myself against established writer, people who studied to be writers, who've become the best. Such a dumb thing to do, I suppose. That's no way to set myself up for success.
Perhaps I will write a short non-fiction piece on my experience in solitary confinement--with all the nutty-ass characters I've encountered over the post years, as well as the tragic environment. It borders on absurd.
Or a short fiction piece--perhaps a children's story. I once wrote a scene of a play based on my freshman year at Purdue, integrating a buddy of mine who is a Satanist rocker chic who carries a rabbit's skull for good luck and wears puppies and kittens flannel pajamas. She's a riot.
How are you doing? I miss reading your blogs. You write the funniest shit, Kelly. You should definitely start your book.
In other news...I have none. Just more of being locked in a fucking room.
My mom met with the guy who is writing a book about me to sell him photos of me growing up. That's a strange feeling. someone buying snapshots of my life. Creepy! For all to see. I dind't even get to pick them. Oh well. Anyway, I gues there' s a couple with my ex-boyfriend, David, like prom and stuff, and I think he should have a say in if his photo is blasted across the nation. So it's given me a reason to contact him again, after nearly 9 years. This pleases me. I love the crap out of this man, even though I was the one who broke it off with him and it was him who chased me. We fell apart for a few reasons, but ultimately, he is a fantastic guy. A guy I should've stayed with. He would have never killed anyone, and if he did, he has the balls to own up to it. Sorry, I digress. This is someone I was with from age 17-20. We were a constant in a world of change. If I had to pick one man to spend eternity with, it would be him. He isn't rich or have model looks, but he is capable, honest, loving and is good in bed. Anyway, it will be nice to talk to him again. Something I am looking forward to doing.
After I left him, I stumbled from one bad affair to the next. They were so bad, I could write a short story about them. Honestly, I wonder if PEN Writing would disqualify the story if it included a tiny-dick story?
I hope you are well and finding some good luck and opportunities. You deserve them.
Best--
Sarah
P.S. Can you send me the topics for the next 6 months of Readers Write from The Sun?
Monday, January 18, 2010
Letters from the Inside, Chris Porco, #5
Dear Kelly,
How are you? As usual I have let a few weeks go by without even realizing it. It is hard to believe and a little depressing that in 20 days or so I will have been here 3 years...
I hope you had a good holiday. I'm sorry to hear about Tokyo. I gotta tell you it is sweet justice to have a wife beater's police blotter come up on Google though. Can't be good for him if he tries to get a job. It would have been easier for her to just tell him what she did, and not pawn off responsibility. I dont' know much about tort law, but I do nknow if you are not in small claims court, which you aren't if he is suing for 4 million, you really need to at least consult a lawyer. Don't you have a friend or two that can advise you? Like you said, the legal system is extraordinarily complicated. What is he suing you for specifically. From the circumstances, I would be surprised if what was done to him was actionable. His arrest and the publication of it were public record, all that was done was it being publicized. Serves him right for being a dirtbag anyway. Did he sue you in federal or state court?
I am still waiting for a decision in my case. We are expecting it anytime, but more likely later in the month. I feel like at this point I am just floating along through each day. It is hard for me to focus on things, which isn't normal for me. I don't usually get worked up about much, but this shit has me all scrambled up. From my point of view the whole waiting thing isn't necessary, they have already made a decision but they are taking their sweet time in letting us all know. A quick phone call saying, "Come on home," or "See you in 46 years," would be a nice courtesy.
I remember you asking about Fireman Pete [Ed.: Porco is housed in the same facility as gruesome Peter Braunstein. ] I swear I told you about him in a past letter. Maybe you didn't get one? Anyway, he's here, and basically crazy. Not legit crazy, but just kind of twisted. He loves to do interviews and freak out the reporters with the insane things he says, a couple of months ago he did one, and before told people he was going to say all this stuff about being obsessed with "Gossip Girl," and other odd things like that. No one believed he would do it, but sure enough, he did. I don't know a clinical diagnosis or anything but I think he just enjoys manipulating people and getting attention. When he attacked that woman, it wasn't a sexual thing, he wanted to wreck her emotionally. If you just talk to him casually he is odd but nice enough. I have only talked to him a few times, mostly in passing. He says he is going to kill himself before too long, but I don't buy it, he loves being in the papers too much.
New Years was what you might expect. Maybe a little louder than usual, and guys tend to light things on fire and throw them off the upper tiers. The cops don't even do their rounds on New Years because people throw stuff at them. People break out the hooch and weed too, so it's just like Time Square; no kiss at midnight though. (Thankfully.)
Prison has made material things somewhat less important, so for Christmas all I asked for was some Starbuck's coffee. I got like 15 lbs, and I am loving it. I love the French Roast and cafe verona, and the Christmas blend. I have a coffee maker in my cell, one of the rarest kinds of contraband, and I have a 3 cup per day habit. I guess if I am going to be addicted to something, coffee isn't all that bad.
Did that guy really drink ensure? Or was it some other supplement shake drink? I only ask because Ensure is crap, but there is stuff out there sorta like it that can be good to get calorie and protein numbers up. I agree though, no self respecting man drinks Ensure. Why'd you break up with the current guy? You hadn't been dating all that long had you? It has been three and a half years since I was alone with a girl, how's that for a drought?
My brother has been dating the same girl for 5 years now and is currently trying to decide if he wants to break it off or propose. I don't see him marrying this girl, she is nice but honestly not all that attractive. She is third year med school, and doesn't take great care of herself either. Three years ago he asked me how he could get her to lose weight, and at that point I didn't see it lasting very long. But she is his first girlfriend, and it si not easy to let go of that. He's going to be 29 in March, sort of a late bloomer in the girl dept. They are total opposites too, she is gregarious to the point of being annoying, he is the most reserved person you will ever meet. Opposites attract I guess, at l east for a little while. Sometimes I feel like I don't even know him, even though we were always close. I haven't talked to him directly in a long time, hopefully that will change soon. He doesn't think I am guilty or anything, but has issus with some of the stuff I did years before he found out about because of all this. Combine that with his personality, and total inability to even being to deal with what happened 5 years ago, and he is just closed off. He is gradually opening up more, so I know things will be alright between us, it will just take time. He has done some prickish stuff to me too, so we both have things to work through. Starting that dialogue can be tough though. Do you have siblings?
Alright, it is getting late, so I am going to shut this thing off before people start bitching. I hope you are well and lawsuit free. (I am thinking maybe you got a dismissal, or they had a change of heart?) Anyway, take care, next time I write, maybe I will have some good news.
Goodnight!
Chris
How are you? As usual I have let a few weeks go by without even realizing it. It is hard to believe and a little depressing that in 20 days or so I will have been here 3 years...
I hope you had a good holiday. I'm sorry to hear about Tokyo. I gotta tell you it is sweet justice to have a wife beater's police blotter come up on Google though. Can't be good for him if he tries to get a job. It would have been easier for her to just tell him what she did, and not pawn off responsibility. I dont' know much about tort law, but I do nknow if you are not in small claims court, which you aren't if he is suing for 4 million, you really need to at least consult a lawyer. Don't you have a friend or two that can advise you? Like you said, the legal system is extraordinarily complicated. What is he suing you for specifically. From the circumstances, I would be surprised if what was done to him was actionable. His arrest and the publication of it were public record, all that was done was it being publicized. Serves him right for being a dirtbag anyway. Did he sue you in federal or state court?
I am still waiting for a decision in my case. We are expecting it anytime, but more likely later in the month. I feel like at this point I am just floating along through each day. It is hard for me to focus on things, which isn't normal for me. I don't usually get worked up about much, but this shit has me all scrambled up. From my point of view the whole waiting thing isn't necessary, they have already made a decision but they are taking their sweet time in letting us all know. A quick phone call saying, "Come on home," or "See you in 46 years," would be a nice courtesy.
I remember you asking about Fireman Pete [Ed.: Porco is housed in the same facility as gruesome Peter Braunstein. ] I swear I told you about him in a past letter. Maybe you didn't get one? Anyway, he's here, and basically crazy. Not legit crazy, but just kind of twisted. He loves to do interviews and freak out the reporters with the insane things he says, a couple of months ago he did one, and before told people he was going to say all this stuff about being obsessed with "Gossip Girl," and other odd things like that. No one believed he would do it, but sure enough, he did. I don't know a clinical diagnosis or anything but I think he just enjoys manipulating people and getting attention. When he attacked that woman, it wasn't a sexual thing, he wanted to wreck her emotionally. If you just talk to him casually he is odd but nice enough. I have only talked to him a few times, mostly in passing. He says he is going to kill himself before too long, but I don't buy it, he loves being in the papers too much.
New Years was what you might expect. Maybe a little louder than usual, and guys tend to light things on fire and throw them off the upper tiers. The cops don't even do their rounds on New Years because people throw stuff at them. People break out the hooch and weed too, so it's just like Time Square; no kiss at midnight though. (Thankfully.)
Prison has made material things somewhat less important, so for Christmas all I asked for was some Starbuck's coffee. I got like 15 lbs, and I am loving it. I love the French Roast and cafe verona, and the Christmas blend. I have a coffee maker in my cell, one of the rarest kinds of contraband, and I have a 3 cup per day habit. I guess if I am going to be addicted to something, coffee isn't all that bad.
Did that guy really drink ensure? Or was it some other supplement shake drink? I only ask because Ensure is crap, but there is stuff out there sorta like it that can be good to get calorie and protein numbers up. I agree though, no self respecting man drinks Ensure. Why'd you break up with the current guy? You hadn't been dating all that long had you? It has been three and a half years since I was alone with a girl, how's that for a drought?
My brother has been dating the same girl for 5 years now and is currently trying to decide if he wants to break it off or propose. I don't see him marrying this girl, she is nice but honestly not all that attractive. She is third year med school, and doesn't take great care of herself either. Three years ago he asked me how he could get her to lose weight, and at that point I didn't see it lasting very long. But she is his first girlfriend, and it si not easy to let go of that. He's going to be 29 in March, sort of a late bloomer in the girl dept. They are total opposites too, she is gregarious to the point of being annoying, he is the most reserved person you will ever meet. Opposites attract I guess, at l east for a little while. Sometimes I feel like I don't even know him, even though we were always close. I haven't talked to him directly in a long time, hopefully that will change soon. He doesn't think I am guilty or anything, but has issus with some of the stuff I did years before he found out about because of all this. Combine that with his personality, and total inability to even being to deal with what happened 5 years ago, and he is just closed off. He is gradually opening up more, so I know things will be alright between us, it will just take time. He has done some prickish stuff to me too, so we both have things to work through. Starting that dialogue can be tough though. Do you have siblings?
Alright, it is getting late, so I am going to shut this thing off before people start bitching. I hope you are well and lawsuit free. (I am thinking maybe you got a dismissal, or they had a change of heart?) Anyway, take care, next time I write, maybe I will have some good news.
Goodnight!
Chris
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Letters from the Inside, Barton Corbin, #4
Hey Kelly,
Thank you for the card I just received. Mail means more to an inmate than just about anything. you had told me previously about the problems with your friend. I had hoped you two had worked it out. I'm sorry. I did not expect any correspondence from you for I thought you would be gone. Where did you stay since you had arrangements for your place? I haven't a clue about what type of ceremony that it was that you attended.
Good to hear some new business has come your way. I thought I read where Harlem was coming up since President Clinton set up shop there. I hope the new year brings a boom to your business.
My details for the last three (3) years has been in an optical lab. I am sure it is not state of the art but it is one of the few details one can occupy their time with here. I do it mainly to get out of the cell houses and stay busy. We call it "detail" for you get paid to work which we don't. I am more a warehouse/stock/clerical kind of thing than anything else. I really didn't push to learn much since I originally planned to transfer to another prison with medium security so as to have more privileges. Hays is what we call a Level 6 maximum security prison. We have a new warden so there is very little free movement at this time.
How was the subtitled film at the Guild? Did you dress up? Was it a "be seen at event?" I love movies, but I can't say I am always a cultural high-brow. We have access to three tvs in of dorm: one dedicated to sports, the others to movies and whatever. Unfortunately, not enough wished to watch IDOL'S premiere so I've no idea what went on. I don't' watch LOST; it is difficult to get the TV regular enough to commit to a series. The cable is extremely basic also.
Some prisoners live for it and violence sometimes kicks off over that, what we nickname a "tuck-box".
I have been reading my Bible again alot lately. I always liked John MacDonald novels and just found one called The End of the Night. I had not seen before. It was primarily about a thrill kill group and tells the story from all angles first person: killers, Feds, victim, etc. I quit it for a found it not escapist enough for me. A little too depressing but considering it was from the 60s I believe, it and he always seem quite contemporary.
I don't know if you can call prisoners your "friends". Generally you might pick a few to group with most of the time and watch each other's back, then just show the rest limited respect and carry yourself right and most of the time you are alright. I have mostly shared a two (2) man cell since I have been down but am now in a two (2) floor open dorm like a barracks. No privacy, but I am not locked down in a room all night. One just adapts. Prisoners run the gamut here: real old to real young, short timers to lifers, all races together. We have alot of gang activity picking up there due to the increase in young guys with long sentences. That's a security problem now. I won't tell you all are innocent or good, but you do meet some straight up guys here better than most you meet on the street. There are some who are proud of the lifestyle and need to stay here, at least till they learn better, if ever. It's not like TV, we have gays but not many that I know of anyway. Snitches all over but few get hurt, child molesters which everyone hates but few get hurt either. You can die here; we have had several deaths and severe assaults in the last few months. Usually it is not spontaneous violence, but some mitigating circumstance that precipitated it. Theft, debt, snitching, etc. I'm straight, don't gamble, borrow money, don't care about that tv and stay out of the "dope game" so I avoid issues unless some youngster tries to rob me. But they never come alone anyway.
The general biggest problems for an inmate here are staying in contact with supporters on the outside and making a little money to buy extra food and hygiene products to help you be comfortable. They starve you up in here and health care is an embarrassment.
O.K. It's late and I am tired so I'll stop there. As usual, I'm well considering. Thanks for writing again and do so again soon. If you need to talk to me about your friend or anything, I try to listen and God knows I always have an opinion about everything.
Be good or be good at it,
Bart
Thank you for the card I just received. Mail means more to an inmate than just about anything. you had told me previously about the problems with your friend. I had hoped you two had worked it out. I'm sorry. I did not expect any correspondence from you for I thought you would be gone. Where did you stay since you had arrangements for your place? I haven't a clue about what type of ceremony that it was that you attended.
Good to hear some new business has come your way. I thought I read where Harlem was coming up since President Clinton set up shop there. I hope the new year brings a boom to your business.
My details for the last three (3) years has been in an optical lab. I am sure it is not state of the art but it is one of the few details one can occupy their time with here. I do it mainly to get out of the cell houses and stay busy. We call it "detail" for you get paid to work which we don't. I am more a warehouse/stock/clerical kind of thing than anything else. I really didn't push to learn much since I originally planned to transfer to another prison with medium security so as to have more privileges. Hays is what we call a Level 6 maximum security prison. We have a new warden so there is very little free movement at this time.
How was the subtitled film at the Guild? Did you dress up? Was it a "be seen at event?" I love movies, but I can't say I am always a cultural high-brow. We have access to three tvs in of dorm: one dedicated to sports, the others to movies and whatever. Unfortunately, not enough wished to watch IDOL'S premiere so I've no idea what went on. I don't' watch LOST; it is difficult to get the TV regular enough to commit to a series. The cable is extremely basic also.
Some prisoners live for it and violence sometimes kicks off over that, what we nickname a "tuck-box".
I have been reading my Bible again alot lately. I always liked John MacDonald novels and just found one called The End of the Night. I had not seen before. It was primarily about a thrill kill group and tells the story from all angles first person: killers, Feds, victim, etc. I quit it for a found it not escapist enough for me. A little too depressing but considering it was from the 60s I believe, it and he always seem quite contemporary.
I don't know if you can call prisoners your "friends". Generally you might pick a few to group with most of the time and watch each other's back, then just show the rest limited respect and carry yourself right and most of the time you are alright. I have mostly shared a two (2) man cell since I have been down but am now in a two (2) floor open dorm like a barracks. No privacy, but I am not locked down in a room all night. One just adapts. Prisoners run the gamut here: real old to real young, short timers to lifers, all races together. We have alot of gang activity picking up there due to the increase in young guys with long sentences. That's a security problem now. I won't tell you all are innocent or good, but you do meet some straight up guys here better than most you meet on the street. There are some who are proud of the lifestyle and need to stay here, at least till they learn better, if ever. It's not like TV, we have gays but not many that I know of anyway. Snitches all over but few get hurt, child molesters which everyone hates but few get hurt either. You can die here; we have had several deaths and severe assaults in the last few months. Usually it is not spontaneous violence, but some mitigating circumstance that precipitated it. Theft, debt, snitching, etc. I'm straight, don't gamble, borrow money, don't care about that tv and stay out of the "dope game" so I avoid issues unless some youngster tries to rob me. But they never come alone anyway.
The general biggest problems for an inmate here are staying in contact with supporters on the outside and making a little money to buy extra food and hygiene products to help you be comfortable. They starve you up in here and health care is an embarrassment.
O.K. It's late and I am tired so I'll stop there. As usual, I'm well considering. Thanks for writing again and do so again soon. If you need to talk to me about your friend or anything, I try to listen and God knows I always have an opinion about everything.
Be good or be good at it,
Bart
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Letters from the Inside, Michael Swango, #71
Dear Kelly,
Hi Sunshine! Much to get to, much to discuss. with the holidays coming to a close, hopefully my letters can get back to "normal" plus a bit quicker delivery times. Your most recent letter is in front of me... Thanks for writing despite all that has happened to you these past few weeks---wouldn't blame you if you burrowed into your apartment incommunicado for about a month!
I'm sure you've seen those life stress charts, that rate various crises by the mental and physical stress they put on us. Loss of a spouse/loss of a child/loss of a job, etc. it's not as high as those, but loss of a good friend ain't easy. I really feel for you with losing your "in-Tokyo" friend to this whole trip to Japan/apt. switch fiasco. I've lost a few friends over the years--some due to my legal difficulties--always tough.
You definitely deserve some major TLC and much much more---your usual reservations prevent me from describing how a lovely Rachel-type should be exquisitely and lovingly treated. But, you... I only hope the man who unlocks that appreciates all that you are, KK.
Now to your letter: I think your friend needs to think through his karmic theories much more thoroughly. I don't recall that the original ALS patient--Lou Gehrig--was know for his correspondence with the incarcerated. [Ed.: My friend has said that I am incurring bad karma by writing to murderers. He supposes that by doing so their bad energy comes to me through their letters. He cites a recent article in the Times about a famous crime writer who has been now diagnoses with ALS. My friend says he believes this guy got ALS by interacting with so many murderers. I think my friend's conclusions are nuts and baseless, but I presented them to Swango for his response.] and if your friend absolutely certain that no one he knows has ever killed someone? If they have, will their karma affect him? Or is it only if he knows? If a tree falls in a forest and no on is around to hear it...?
Anyway, I would like to read that article he cites - do send if you can.
[Ed.: I am omitting many paragraphs about recent movies. They are mostly just summaries.]
Why am I not surprised you have Ann Rule on metaphorical speed dial? Don't know the Barton Corbin story--but if you are interested in truly sociopathic dentists: search online for the case of Dr. Engleman in the St. Louis area in the 1970s & 1980s. Very bizarre and very hi-profile case in the days before cable 24/7. Tell me what you think after you have read a bit.
Your hobby [writing to sociopathic prisoners] is no "odder" than many and you know me well enough to know that I judge no one. I find you captivating. You are an amazing mind, Kelly, that never stops working. and I imagine you have learned things from your "hobby" that you could learn nowhere else...
[Ed.: I'm omitting more pop culture film and book talk.]
Your letter is so chockful of remarkable bits of information--a man could definitely spend years exploring your mind and body -- oopps-Sorry but it is definitely one to be explored in detail..
[Ed. I am again omitting more movie talk.]
***
Would very much like to hear about that workplace love years ago--clearly it was a powerful relationship & experience that left a lasting impression. Again, a way to know you better...much better.
I still need to tell you about my NOLA experience--also very intense--emotionally and sexually. The two are so intertwined, you cannot discuss one without the other. One should not exist without the other... And with love you add an almost immeasurable dimension to both. Do you agree, dear Kelly?
KK: See White Ribbon..a chance to explore the creation of sociopaths as children/ see this film, Kelly!
Stay safe, stay healthy, and hang in there, KK. Thinking of you--and hope to hear from you again soon. XOXO GG
Yours,
Michael
[Ed.: Just to reiterate to my readers: I have told Swango, over and over, I will not discuss anything sexual and I have asked him multiple times to refrain from doing so or referencing such.]
Hi Sunshine! Much to get to, much to discuss. with the holidays coming to a close, hopefully my letters can get back to "normal" plus a bit quicker delivery times. Your most recent letter is in front of me... Thanks for writing despite all that has happened to you these past few weeks---wouldn't blame you if you burrowed into your apartment incommunicado for about a month!
I'm sure you've seen those life stress charts, that rate various crises by the mental and physical stress they put on us. Loss of a spouse/loss of a child/loss of a job, etc. it's not as high as those, but loss of a good friend ain't easy. I really feel for you with losing your "in-Tokyo" friend to this whole trip to Japan/apt. switch fiasco. I've lost a few friends over the years--some due to my legal difficulties--always tough.
You definitely deserve some major TLC and much much more---your usual reservations prevent me from describing how a lovely Rachel-type should be exquisitely and lovingly treated. But, you... I only hope the man who unlocks that appreciates all that you are, KK.
Now to your letter: I think your friend needs to think through his karmic theories much more thoroughly. I don't recall that the original ALS patient--Lou Gehrig--was know for his correspondence with the incarcerated. [Ed.: My friend has said that I am incurring bad karma by writing to murderers. He supposes that by doing so their bad energy comes to me through their letters. He cites a recent article in the Times about a famous crime writer who has been now diagnoses with ALS. My friend says he believes this guy got ALS by interacting with so many murderers. I think my friend's conclusions are nuts and baseless, but I presented them to Swango for his response.] and if your friend absolutely certain that no one he knows has ever killed someone? If they have, will their karma affect him? Or is it only if he knows? If a tree falls in a forest and no on is around to hear it...?
Anyway, I would like to read that article he cites - do send if you can.
[Ed.: I am omitting many paragraphs about recent movies. They are mostly just summaries.]
Why am I not surprised you have Ann Rule on metaphorical speed dial? Don't know the Barton Corbin story--but if you are interested in truly sociopathic dentists: search online for the case of Dr. Engleman in the St. Louis area in the 1970s & 1980s. Very bizarre and very hi-profile case in the days before cable 24/7. Tell me what you think after you have read a bit.
Your hobby [writing to sociopathic prisoners] is no "odder" than many and you know me well enough to know that I judge no one. I find you captivating. You are an amazing mind, Kelly, that never stops working. and I imagine you have learned things from your "hobby" that you could learn nowhere else...
[Ed.: I'm omitting more pop culture film and book talk.]
Your letter is so chockful of remarkable bits of information--a man could definitely spend years exploring your mind and body -- oopps-Sorry but it is definitely one to be explored in detail..
[Ed. I am again omitting more movie talk.]
***
Would very much like to hear about that workplace love years ago--clearly it was a powerful relationship & experience that left a lasting impression. Again, a way to know you better...much better.
I still need to tell you about my NOLA experience--also very intense--emotionally and sexually. The two are so intertwined, you cannot discuss one without the other. One should not exist without the other... And with love you add an almost immeasurable dimension to both. Do you agree, dear Kelly?
KK: See White Ribbon..a chance to explore the creation of sociopaths as children/ see this film, Kelly!
Stay safe, stay healthy, and hang in there, KK. Thinking of you--and hope to hear from you again soon. XOXO GG
Yours,
Michael
[Ed.: Just to reiterate to my readers: I have told Swango, over and over, I will not discuss anything sexual and I have asked him multiple times to refrain from doing so or referencing such.]
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Lettesr from the Inside, Michael Swango, #70
My Dear Kelly,
I would say "I hope your holidays were GREAT!"- but that woudl not be me, nor would it reflect reality, based on your letter received just before Christmas. As you so succinctly put it: "The holiday season sucks." So sorry to hear about the cancelled trip and your falling out with what sounded like a good friend. They (She) would have to be to travel overseas with them! Plus the bizarre complication with the lawsuit and her "baby daddy" which somehow involves you. Your life these days is the opposite of "No Drama Obama"--although things have gotten pretty complicated for his administration these past few weeks as well.
You've been on my mind a lot these past few days/thinking of you with all that's going on. Wanting to get this out to you today-no time to describe what you sooo need right now. Suffice it to say he doesn't need to be your soulmate, but someone who you trust totally with your body...certain things are only done with a partner you trust. (Don't get me started on that! Actually you can if you are interested.) Would love to elaborate, but that would probably make you somewhat uncomfortable--although is shouldn't. Anyway, perhaps will discuss in my next letter....but as I move on, know that I genuinely hope things improve as the holiday season ENDS...
Hoping to receive an update from you before the next long weekend--New Years Day++ General apologies for all the delays at this end and through the mails this time of year.
Again: Please send "Rant Heard 'Round the World" and the on-line commentary/reaction. You know I love your on-line persona, Rachel...!
Speaking of the "real" Glee Rachel: They've been showing repeats/Last week two of my personal favorites: The football team dancing to Beyonce's "Single girl" with Kurt as the kicker; AND the song that affects me so much: ALONE by Heart--sung by Kristin Chenoweth. Talk about a huge voice from such a tiny woman. Have you ever seen her in person on stage? She's supposed to be good... I'm curious.
If and when you are able--would love to hear exactly how you became embroiled in the legal machinations between your friend and her "baby daddy". Even for New York it sounds weird. How do these things find you, KK?
Must ask if you have any good snowstorms stories from New York. You guys got hit pretty good. Sounds like Long Island got hit even worse. did you barricade yourself in your warm apartment with DVDs and Chinese? Or were ou forced to venture out in your knee-high boots and winter clothes?
>Have you followed the Amanda Knox case in Italy? Just a travesty. Hope she has strong inner resources to draw on while the appeal drags on...
>So you were talking about Don Draper as a sociopath (I absolutely agree with you) Side-by-side comparison enclosed.
Still more to write, Kelly, AND hope to recieve a letter from you either Wed or Thu. So--another letter for sure over the Long Weekend #2.
Again-take care-thinking of you & sending out positive thoughts. Have a safe and healthy New Year. you will survive, as always.
More to follow, Kelly.
XOXO
GG & MP (Melrose Place) & 90201 & VD (Vampire Diaries)
Yours,
Michael
I would say "I hope your holidays were GREAT!"- but that woudl not be me, nor would it reflect reality, based on your letter received just before Christmas. As you so succinctly put it: "The holiday season sucks." So sorry to hear about the cancelled trip and your falling out with what sounded like a good friend. They (She) would have to be to travel overseas with them! Plus the bizarre complication with the lawsuit and her "baby daddy" which somehow involves you. Your life these days is the opposite of "No Drama Obama"--although things have gotten pretty complicated for his administration these past few weeks as well.
You've been on my mind a lot these past few days/thinking of you with all that's going on. Wanting to get this out to you today-no time to describe what you sooo need right now. Suffice it to say he doesn't need to be your soulmate, but someone who you trust totally with your body...certain things are only done with a partner you trust. (Don't get me started on that! Actually you can if you are interested.) Would love to elaborate, but that would probably make you somewhat uncomfortable--although is shouldn't. Anyway, perhaps will discuss in my next letter....but as I move on, know that I genuinely hope things improve as the holiday season ENDS...
Hoping to receive an update from you before the next long weekend--New Years Day++ General apologies for all the delays at this end and through the mails this time of year.
Again: Please send "Rant Heard 'Round the World" and the on-line commentary/reaction. You know I love your on-line persona, Rachel...!
Speaking of the "real" Glee Rachel: They've been showing repeats/Last week two of my personal favorites: The football team dancing to Beyonce's "Single girl" with Kurt as the kicker; AND the song that affects me so much: ALONE by Heart--sung by Kristin Chenoweth. Talk about a huge voice from such a tiny woman. Have you ever seen her in person on stage? She's supposed to be good... I'm curious.
If and when you are able--would love to hear exactly how you became embroiled in the legal machinations between your friend and her "baby daddy". Even for New York it sounds weird. How do these things find you, KK?
Must ask if you have any good snowstorms stories from New York. You guys got hit pretty good. Sounds like Long Island got hit even worse. did you barricade yourself in your warm apartment with DVDs and Chinese? Or were ou forced to venture out in your knee-high boots and winter clothes?
>Have you followed the Amanda Knox case in Italy? Just a travesty. Hope she has strong inner resources to draw on while the appeal drags on...
>So you were talking about Don Draper as a sociopath (I absolutely agree with you) Side-by-side comparison enclosed.
Still more to write, Kelly, AND hope to recieve a letter from you either Wed or Thu. So--another letter for sure over the Long Weekend #2.
Again-take care-thinking of you & sending out positive thoughts. Have a safe and healthy New Year. you will survive, as always.
More to follow, Kelly.
XOXO
GG & MP (Melrose Place) & 90201 & VD (Vampire Diaries)
Yours,
Michael
Monday, January 11, 2010
Letters from the Inside, Sarah Pender, #24
Dear Kelly,
Well, I had delayed writing, thinking you would be in Japan. I am flabbergasted that you had to lose out on $1300 on your ticket. That's like a whole month's salary. I guess you didn't get a refundable ticket. Holy crap. Yes, I think Stef might just be a cunt face afterall.
Yes, the court filings are a pain in the ass, but aren't there pro bono legal aides there to help? I did a year's worth of reserach to file all my post-conviction stuff. Good luck. and what a total douche for suing for $4m. Come on. If he lied about having cash, then his name is not worth $4m. That's just greed and opportunistic assholism. At least you know it is unjustified. Can't you and the website guy hook up to share the court filings? Since you are joint defendants?
I am quite amused at your constant ability to be recognized as a talented writer and yet you do so little with it to your advantage. You win random writing contests, you win oral contests, web contests, have a great blog and yes, you don't use it to support yourself. Why?
Please, please send me your NoteGuy rant. I need a laugh. Really.
Monday before Christmas the Superintendant came with a few other poeple from Administration and told me that my behavior was exemplary, that he could find ont one staff member that had anything bad to say about me, and that I wuold not be leaving lock because their security is not up to par and he doesn't feel comfortable putting me in population. So I remain locked in a room. Maybe for 3 months. Maybe for 6 months. In the meantime, my consolation is that i was given a cross stitch project to work on and extra time out of my room a few days a week to work on it. They say they are working on other things, better changes. In the meantime, punish, punish, punish. Sorry, we are guards of DOC who can't guard you, Sarah. That's government for you.
So that was really fucking depressing and I spent the next five days laying in bed, reading spy novels, sleeping and getting off. Fuck it. I was on staycation.
Mom and her boyfriend came to visit on Christmas morning and then I saw her again on New Year's Day. I hated it when staff members ask me, "How was your Christmas?" or "what did you do for New Year's?" Are you fucking serious? "Well, Christmas was great, just me, mom, John and the Lady Bug, chillin with Jesus. Then New Year's Eve I set up an altar and did a good magic spell to make you bastards stop punishing me. Is it working yet?
They'd keep me for another six months, easy.
Did you at least kiss a guy on NY Eve?
I've been writing more. Now I'm organizing what I've got into something coherent. I'ts a lot of work, but feels good. I've got like 120,000 words, easy. That will make for easy editing, I think.
I skimmed over that article you sent and am looking forward to reading it when I go back to reading mode. I got through phases. Days of non-stop writing. Days of reading/thinking. Days of fuck it, I'm not doing shit.
I need a laugh. Written any good blogs lately? You really ought to start on a book. It will rock, Kelly. You know it.
--Sarah
Well, I had delayed writing, thinking you would be in Japan. I am flabbergasted that you had to lose out on $1300 on your ticket. That's like a whole month's salary. I guess you didn't get a refundable ticket. Holy crap. Yes, I think Stef might just be a cunt face afterall.
Yes, the court filings are a pain in the ass, but aren't there pro bono legal aides there to help? I did a year's worth of reserach to file all my post-conviction stuff. Good luck. and what a total douche for suing for $4m. Come on. If he lied about having cash, then his name is not worth $4m. That's just greed and opportunistic assholism. At least you know it is unjustified. Can't you and the website guy hook up to share the court filings? Since you are joint defendants?
I am quite amused at your constant ability to be recognized as a talented writer and yet you do so little with it to your advantage. You win random writing contests, you win oral contests, web contests, have a great blog and yes, you don't use it to support yourself. Why?
Please, please send me your NoteGuy rant. I need a laugh. Really.
Monday before Christmas the Superintendant came with a few other poeple from Administration and told me that my behavior was exemplary, that he could find ont one staff member that had anything bad to say about me, and that I wuold not be leaving lock because their security is not up to par and he doesn't feel comfortable putting me in population. So I remain locked in a room. Maybe for 3 months. Maybe for 6 months. In the meantime, my consolation is that i was given a cross stitch project to work on and extra time out of my room a few days a week to work on it. They say they are working on other things, better changes. In the meantime, punish, punish, punish. Sorry, we are guards of DOC who can't guard you, Sarah. That's government for you.
So that was really fucking depressing and I spent the next five days laying in bed, reading spy novels, sleeping and getting off. Fuck it. I was on staycation.
Mom and her boyfriend came to visit on Christmas morning and then I saw her again on New Year's Day. I hated it when staff members ask me, "How was your Christmas?" or "what did you do for New Year's?" Are you fucking serious? "Well, Christmas was great, just me, mom, John and the Lady Bug, chillin with Jesus. Then New Year's Eve I set up an altar and did a good magic spell to make you bastards stop punishing me. Is it working yet?
They'd keep me for another six months, easy.
Did you at least kiss a guy on NY Eve?
I've been writing more. Now I'm organizing what I've got into something coherent. I'ts a lot of work, but feels good. I've got like 120,000 words, easy. That will make for easy editing, I think.
I skimmed over that article you sent and am looking forward to reading it when I go back to reading mode. I got through phases. Days of non-stop writing. Days of reading/thinking. Days of fuck it, I'm not doing shit.
I need a laugh. Written any good blogs lately? You really ought to start on a book. It will rock, Kelly. You know it.
--Sarah
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Letters from the Inside, Barton Corbin, #3
I recently read an article in Mother Jones magazine about how an idea to improve prisons is to give prisoners actual jobs. I can't find the exact article but it discussed having prisoners work to do something "green" like raising bees or doing some sort of farming. It also talked abour prisoner resources like www.pen.org which I found fascinating. I think that art should come out of whatever dire and horrific circumstances. Something awful happens, whether you do it or it is done to you, and there should be a move to make something artistic out of it. Take all that bad energy and try to rework it into something beautiful. So I sent this article to the inmates I write to and this letter from Barton Corbin is in response to that letter.
***
Hey Kelly,
Thank you for the article. I think it is just another example of reason and common sense being applied to a situation instead of relying on initial emotional response and biases. There are few opportunities for positive expeirence in the Georgia DOC, especially at the institution that I am in now. What is offered here is more religious based self-help programs and GEDs, no technical or trade instruction. [Ed.: Bart is a dentist by trade.] My understanding is that some is offered in other institutions but is really rationed for those with little time or time left. Georgia fancies itself the "buckle' of the bible belt and acts accordingly. It is truly a "poser" system. I am told we are the only or one of the only state remaining that fails to pay something to its prisoners. The industries here are not subject to fair trade practices, etc. We are not talking about a lot of money here; just a small amount to make someone a little comfortable and not be such a burden on their supporters. That has a dramatic effect on the self-esteem of inmates and decreases the incident of security concerns for there are less times of stealing; strong-arm robbery, gang attack, attack on officers, etc. We just had another prisoner beat to death by inmates the other day. I know that is 2 if not 3 in the last 3-4 months. The guy was a historical mental health case and warnings were given. There is a huge mental health population in the system where they are dumped. Overcrowding is a, and was prior, a serious convern and is more so now with the closings of more prisons, jails and transition centers due to the economic situation. Some were old and should have been closed long before, but Georgia abhors letting people be released early (or at all) and just pay the fines charged them by the Feds because it is cheaper than correcting the problem. I am in a new building now and it already violates occupancy standards.
I, as you know, work in the optical department. the staff there really has no concept of running a business. They are now nickel and diming all these little ares to increase production that will have minimal effect on the present levels. One hs to 1) increase accounts and 2) pay prisoners. They have lost contracts with the other states DOCs for that reason. Georgia always thinks everyone else is wrong, but if I had 49 witnesses against and 1 for, they would laugh me out of a courtroom. One rule of capitalism is you will not accomplish efficiency or innovation through a coerced work force. This is simply warehousing prisoners for a per-head dollar count for the industrial/prison complex. No real change occurs in an area unless their pocket books are effected. That's true here. Not only that, we are not credited good time or provided special priveleges either, as that article said, boredom is the worst thing about being in prison. There is so much wasted man-power in prison due to "catch-all" excuses like "logistics" and "security" that could be put to good use on self-sustaining cost-cutting and public works projects while still providing training for alternatives for people who will be released.
Even if one is of a "lock 'em and throw away the key" mentality, they have to know that at least 80% of the population is being released at some time, as that prisons stated, do you want a stronger, smarter, angrier criminal or someone who can avoid being a ward of the state? When they removed the college courses and ceased allowing inmates with consideration there on details outside the gates, they were penny-wise and dollar ignorant. No consideration is really given to behaviorial and institutional history. There is no incentive, besides authority's abuse, to do right. That's why these young kids are so crazy in here now. The fed pays well. As soon as you tell these populace "Ok, but we'll have to raise taxes for more prisons, etc." they say "oh no." They are like children; have your cake and eat it too.
With the new emphasis Obama has made on environmental and renewable energies programs, now is the time to institute these things to insure employability and reduce repeat offenders. Holding people as long as you can is not justice or good sense and hiding behind God without practicing the doctrines is a fraud. But such is the game here, what is also hypocritical is that for the most part you are given no relief for the faith initiative programs. that are recognized. "Mercy for me, justice on everyone else." is the philosophy practiced here, or the church rosters till the camera stops rolling.
Again, I am opinionated. But honest to a fault. I'll quit here. I hope you are doing well and that things are coming together. May your trip have been a good one, too.
Bart
***
Hey Kelly,
Thank you for the article. I think it is just another example of reason and common sense being applied to a situation instead of relying on initial emotional response and biases. There are few opportunities for positive expeirence in the Georgia DOC, especially at the institution that I am in now. What is offered here is more religious based self-help programs and GEDs, no technical or trade instruction. [Ed.: Bart is a dentist by trade.] My understanding is that some is offered in other institutions but is really rationed for those with little time or time left. Georgia fancies itself the "buckle' of the bible belt and acts accordingly. It is truly a "poser" system. I am told we are the only or one of the only state remaining that fails to pay something to its prisoners. The industries here are not subject to fair trade practices, etc. We are not talking about a lot of money here; just a small amount to make someone a little comfortable and not be such a burden on their supporters. That has a dramatic effect on the self-esteem of inmates and decreases the incident of security concerns for there are less times of stealing; strong-arm robbery, gang attack, attack on officers, etc. We just had another prisoner beat to death by inmates the other day. I know that is 2 if not 3 in the last 3-4 months. The guy was a historical mental health case and warnings were given. There is a huge mental health population in the system where they are dumped. Overcrowding is a, and was prior, a serious convern and is more so now with the closings of more prisons, jails and transition centers due to the economic situation. Some were old and should have been closed long before, but Georgia abhors letting people be released early (or at all) and just pay the fines charged them by the Feds because it is cheaper than correcting the problem. I am in a new building now and it already violates occupancy standards.
I, as you know, work in the optical department. the staff there really has no concept of running a business. They are now nickel and diming all these little ares to increase production that will have minimal effect on the present levels. One hs to 1) increase accounts and 2) pay prisoners. They have lost contracts with the other states DOCs for that reason. Georgia always thinks everyone else is wrong, but if I had 49 witnesses against and 1 for, they would laugh me out of a courtroom. One rule of capitalism is you will not accomplish efficiency or innovation through a coerced work force. This is simply warehousing prisoners for a per-head dollar count for the industrial/prison complex. No real change occurs in an area unless their pocket books are effected. That's true here. Not only that, we are not credited good time or provided special priveleges either, as that article said, boredom is the worst thing about being in prison. There is so much wasted man-power in prison due to "catch-all" excuses like "logistics" and "security" that could be put to good use on self-sustaining cost-cutting and public works projects while still providing training for alternatives for people who will be released.
Even if one is of a "lock 'em and throw away the key" mentality, they have to know that at least 80% of the population is being released at some time, as that prisons stated, do you want a stronger, smarter, angrier criminal or someone who can avoid being a ward of the state? When they removed the college courses and ceased allowing inmates with consideration there on details outside the gates, they were penny-wise and dollar ignorant. No consideration is really given to behaviorial and institutional history. There is no incentive, besides authority's abuse, to do right. That's why these young kids are so crazy in here now. The fed pays well. As soon as you tell these populace "Ok, but we'll have to raise taxes for more prisons, etc." they say "oh no." They are like children; have your cake and eat it too.
With the new emphasis Obama has made on environmental and renewable energies programs, now is the time to institute these things to insure employability and reduce repeat offenders. Holding people as long as you can is not justice or good sense and hiding behind God without practicing the doctrines is a fraud. But such is the game here, what is also hypocritical is that for the most part you are given no relief for the faith initiative programs. that are recognized. "Mercy for me, justice on everyone else." is the philosophy practiced here, or the church rosters till the camera stops rolling.
Again, I am opinionated. But honest to a fault. I'll quit here. I hope you are doing well and that things are coming together. May your trip have been a good one, too.
Bart
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Letters from the Inside, Justin Barber, #1
A while ago a repeat of a 48 Hours Mystery aired about a man who was walking on a secluded beach in FL with his wife and a mysterious gunman shot him four times and killed his wife. I found the guy really attractive, but they are saying he is sociopath who planned the whole thing, going so far as to research how to shoot yourself and not have any serious injuries. There is something in this guy's manner that reminds me so much of John. I had a friend and fellow ODer watch the show (It's available on Youtube in parts --and the transcript of the show is in writing on the 48 Hour Site) and she said it was really clear to her from the start he was lying.
Check them out and tell me what you think.
Anyway, I wrote to him and he has just responded.
***
Hi Kelly,
I hope you're well and enjoying the new year. Thanks for writing. Mail call is one of the few bright spots of prison life. At least it is when you actually receive some mail. The holidays are difficult here, and your card was a pleasant surprise.
I haven't seen the 48 Hour Mystery episode you mentioned; nor have I read the transcripts of that show or any of the others. From what family and friends have told me, 48 Hours was probably the most balanced of all the shows. Which is to say that they only portrayed me as a monster for half the episode. Sensationalism drives television ratings and ratings drive ad revenue. But understanding the motives behind my villification doesn't comfort me at all. The unembellished truth (and seeing my deepest character flaws clearly) is difficult enough to come to terms with. I'm an adulturer and womanizer. Maybe a binge drinker. I'm insecure for all the wrong reasons, yet I'm also overconfident for all the wrong reasons. But I'm not a murderer. I'm not a sociopath. Being a self-centered jack-ass is bad enough--I can't take credit for anything more sensational than that. I will say that the 48 Hour production crew treated my family well, especially my grandparents, and I'm thankful for that.
Being a farm boy from Oklahoma, NYC has always fascinated me. Perhaps if you write again, you'll share some of the stories from your blog that depicts life in the City. do you find it difficult to sleep when so much is happening all the time? I'm also interested to know what particular Seinfeld episodes you have been trapped in. Cramer is my favorite character, of course. I'ts been years since I've seen a Seinfeld episode. "I'm out there, Jerry, and I'm loving every minute of it." Remember the one where Cramer goes commando? I have a friend who seems to relate every event in her life to a Seinfeld episode and your comment triggered a happy memory. Thanks.
Feel free to write again. You're much better company than that which I've grown accustomed to in recent years.
Justin
Check them out and tell me what you think.
Anyway, I wrote to him and he has just responded.
***
Hi Kelly,
I hope you're well and enjoying the new year. Thanks for writing. Mail call is one of the few bright spots of prison life. At least it is when you actually receive some mail. The holidays are difficult here, and your card was a pleasant surprise.
I haven't seen the 48 Hour Mystery episode you mentioned; nor have I read the transcripts of that show or any of the others. From what family and friends have told me, 48 Hours was probably the most balanced of all the shows. Which is to say that they only portrayed me as a monster for half the episode. Sensationalism drives television ratings and ratings drive ad revenue. But understanding the motives behind my villification doesn't comfort me at all. The unembellished truth (and seeing my deepest character flaws clearly) is difficult enough to come to terms with. I'm an adulturer and womanizer. Maybe a binge drinker. I'm insecure for all the wrong reasons, yet I'm also overconfident for all the wrong reasons. But I'm not a murderer. I'm not a sociopath. Being a self-centered jack-ass is bad enough--I can't take credit for anything more sensational than that. I will say that the 48 Hour production crew treated my family well, especially my grandparents, and I'm thankful for that.
Being a farm boy from Oklahoma, NYC has always fascinated me. Perhaps if you write again, you'll share some of the stories from your blog that depicts life in the City. do you find it difficult to sleep when so much is happening all the time? I'm also interested to know what particular Seinfeld episodes you have been trapped in. Cramer is my favorite character, of course. I'ts been years since I've seen a Seinfeld episode. "I'm out there, Jerry, and I'm loving every minute of it." Remember the one where Cramer goes commando? I have a friend who seems to relate every event in her life to a Seinfeld episode and your comment triggered a happy memory. Thanks.
Feel free to write again. You're much better company than that which I've grown accustomed to in recent years.
Justin
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Letters from the Inside, Michael Swango, #70
My Dear KK--
So much to write...so little time...not unusual in my world just before a holiday weekend, but even more so this Christmas 09.
I had planned on writing you a long letter over the long weekend---and that hasn't changed: Much to discuss from your photo-filled letter [My God, I love your eyes Kelly] written on your Saturday after your tripto the "East Harlem Costco" Included your trip to the Guggenheims First Friday/plus your comments on "Hallelujah" (Leonard Cohen / Jeff Buckley.)
I have more to say on the astonishing words/lyrics.
If a book was ever to be written, it would have to be complete AND written with an organized, detail-oriented, slightly (?!!) OCD type like yourself. Again-more on that letter over the weekend-promise...
My mind is an encyclopedic index of useless Seinfeld trivia lines & entire conversations: As I write this is what comes to mind: The episode in which Gale Cunningham, who snubbed Jerry and is now dating Kramer, is working as a sous chef at a Manhattan restaurant. She gushes over Elaine's Botticelli shoes - later demanding the shoes for doing a favor. Somehow I picture you in the booth/mentioning your Fri/ and Gale Cunningham: "Look at you--the Guggenheim! Lah-de-dah--I'm afraid to even go in there. Kelly out on the town- LAH-DE-DAH!
Sooo, Kelly: Then earlier today I received your drama-filled "THANK-U-GRAM" [Seems vintage/is it?} Wow! My life is an ongoing drama heavy on the past but yours! KK!!! Tokyo/no Tokyo/friend/no friend/child paternity-custody-legal-nightmare-and you somehow involved...plus NoteGuy/no NoteGuy...and even more...
So I felt compelled to get a letter off to you before the long weekend-since you will clearly be in NYC over the holiday. Sorry about that for you Tokyo, Japan would be a great escape...The title of an "ER" episode from the mid-90s come to mind [taken from Shakespeare I believe]: "MAN PLANS, GOD LAUGHS!!
Will address your letter just received plus the earlier one, plus some other things to share with you--when I have more time. This has to go out quite soon. So let me hit a few points in bullet point fashion:
>Yes, do send the commentary on your rant.
>And for God's sake, KK, SEND THE RANT: You can send it. It's OK. Thank you.
>As I suspected, you are familiar with Ms. Stout's book. I thought you might be, given your avid interest in the subject.
My apologies for the article being cut-off. Forgot to mention that which I usually do. That portion of the magazine was missing.
FYI: The article was from that large glossy magazine: "INTERVIEW" so with that info you should be able to locate the full text.
I think Ms. Stout has some things correct. Again. comments to follow.
>Also received the article "Green Mile". Will read & comment.
>Must briefly say something about Brittany Murphy. I barely knew who she was until I saw her in "Don't Say A Word" -- where she co-starred with Michael Douglas. I thought she was absolutely brilliant in that role. To me it was a breakout role--heavy & serious. but Holly did not seem to agree...
-And her eyes were mesmerizing. She had "look" that was unique.
Anyway, - another Hollywood tragedy. Like Heath Ledger, her best work was ahead of her...
>Regarding those two books I mentioned-asking you to find out (if you can) when they will be released in PAPERBACK. I have both authors now: THE KINDLY ONES by Jonathan Littel (translated by French) WETLANDS by Charlotte Roche.
>Enclosed: fascinating "Mumblecore" article from a Times fashion supplement--so you may have seen it. I learned a few things.
So Kelly, you're had a helluva month to be sure. I'm not a big one for holiday cheer--but DO have a good a Christmas & New Years as possible . May I suggest your best girlfriends movie marathons and come wanton taboo sex if possible?!
Do send the "rant" and the comments/and I will fully explore the many subjects outstanding from your letters.
Cam you handle some comments on lyrics in "Hallelujah?"
Leave you, with two things:
>Lady Gaga channels Alfred Hitchcock in her song "Bad Romance".
>Question: Why do gay men & straight woman share such an (at times) intense bond? Give me your reasoning. IMine will make my shy correspondent blush-but will tell you'll allow it.
Take care--and write again soon.
Yours XOXO,
Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, etc. etc.
P.S. Vampire Diaries on CW...Yeah I know..
So much to write...so little time...not unusual in my world just before a holiday weekend, but even more so this Christmas 09.
I had planned on writing you a long letter over the long weekend---and that hasn't changed: Much to discuss from your photo-filled letter [My God, I love your eyes Kelly] written on your Saturday after your tripto the "East Harlem Costco" Included your trip to the Guggenheims First Friday/plus your comments on "Hallelujah" (Leonard Cohen / Jeff Buckley.)
I have more to say on the astonishing words/lyrics.
If a book was ever to be written, it would have to be complete AND written with an organized, detail-oriented, slightly (?!!) OCD type like yourself. Again-more on that letter over the weekend-promise...
My mind is an encyclopedic index of useless Seinfeld trivia lines & entire conversations: As I write this is what comes to mind: The episode in which Gale Cunningham, who snubbed Jerry and is now dating Kramer, is working as a sous chef at a Manhattan restaurant. She gushes over Elaine's Botticelli shoes - later demanding the shoes for doing a favor. Somehow I picture you in the booth/mentioning your Fri/ and Gale Cunningham: "Look at you--the Guggenheim! Lah-de-dah--I'm afraid to even go in there. Kelly out on the town- LAH-DE-DAH!
Sooo, Kelly: Then earlier today I received your drama-filled "THANK-U-GRAM" [Seems vintage/is it?} Wow! My life is an ongoing drama heavy on the past but yours! KK!!! Tokyo/no Tokyo/friend/no friend/child paternity-custody-legal-nightmare-and you somehow involved...plus NoteGuy/no NoteGuy...and even more...
So I felt compelled to get a letter off to you before the long weekend-since you will clearly be in NYC over the holiday. Sorry about that for you Tokyo, Japan would be a great escape...The title of an "ER" episode from the mid-90s come to mind [taken from Shakespeare I believe]: "MAN PLANS, GOD LAUGHS!!
Will address your letter just received plus the earlier one, plus some other things to share with you--when I have more time. This has to go out quite soon. So let me hit a few points in bullet point fashion:
>Yes, do send the commentary on your rant.
>And for God's sake, KK, SEND THE RANT: You can send it. It's OK. Thank you.
>As I suspected, you are familiar with Ms. Stout's book. I thought you might be, given your avid interest in the subject.
My apologies for the article being cut-off. Forgot to mention that which I usually do. That portion of the magazine was missing.
FYI: The article was from that large glossy magazine: "INTERVIEW" so with that info you should be able to locate the full text.
I think Ms. Stout has some things correct. Again. comments to follow.
>Also received the article "Green Mile". Will read & comment.
>Must briefly say something about Brittany Murphy. I barely knew who she was until I saw her in "Don't Say A Word" -- where she co-starred with Michael Douglas. I thought she was absolutely brilliant in that role. To me it was a breakout role--heavy & serious. but Holly did not seem to agree...
-And her eyes were mesmerizing. She had "look" that was unique.
Anyway, - another Hollywood tragedy. Like Heath Ledger, her best work was ahead of her...
>Regarding those two books I mentioned-asking you to find out (if you can) when they will be released in PAPERBACK. I have both authors now: THE KINDLY ONES by Jonathan Littel (translated by French) WETLANDS by Charlotte Roche.
>Enclosed: fascinating "Mumblecore" article from a Times fashion supplement--so you may have seen it. I learned a few things.
So Kelly, you're had a helluva month to be sure. I'm not a big one for holiday cheer--but DO have a good a Christmas & New Years as possible . May I suggest your best girlfriends movie marathons and come wanton taboo sex if possible?!
Do send the "rant" and the comments/and I will fully explore the many subjects outstanding from your letters.
Cam you handle some comments on lyrics in "Hallelujah?"
Leave you, with two things:
>Lady Gaga channels Alfred Hitchcock in her song "Bad Romance".
>Question: Why do gay men & straight woman share such an (at times) intense bond? Give me your reasoning. IMine will make my shy correspondent blush-but will tell you'll allow it.
Take care--and write again soon.
Yours XOXO,
Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, etc. etc.
P.S. Vampire Diaries on CW...Yeah I know..
