Letters from the Inside, Sarah Pender, #25

Dear Kelly,

I read the article you sent me on prison programs and the insert on PEN Prison Writing Program. The article is right up my alley! Those are programs I've been working on developing for here. It was inspiring. You always pick great articles to send. The other article on the escapee guy, I could not have. They took it out of the envelope. Apparently, it is inappropriate content for me to receive. (I feel like I am ten years sold sometimes). They censor guns and knives magazines, anything racist, anarchist, escape-related, all nudity (like we don't know what naked people look like), etc. I think because it had illustrations and specifics about his escape was the issue. I'd like to know the reason you found him fascinating. I saw from your post-card that he is an artist.

I actually heard of the PEN writing contest. I ordered the handbook last year but the entries had to be in by September. I'd like to get involved with a mentor and write a piece, but honestly, I dont' think I am good enough. There was another contest back in October I could have entered, but didn't because I dont' know what to write about. I don't find my own life interesting enough that other people really want to read about it, which sounds stupid because I am writing a book, but I know people are interested in this because they've proved it.

I can write some kick ass stuff with just a tiny bit of guidance. LIke, if it's for a creative writing class, I did great. But pulling it out of my ass seems hard. Do you have any suggestions? What should I write about?

Where do you get all these ancient postcards? [Ed.: I collect vintage cards and postcards and use them to write to prisoners.]

I worte some pretty good stuff when I was in Creative Writing 401 my senior year, just a few years ago. I always got top scores, but figured the bar was set pretty low being in prison. I judge myself against established writer, people who studied to be writers, who've become the best. Such a dumb thing to do, I suppose. That's no way to set myself up for success.

Perhaps I will write a short non-fiction piece on my experience in solitary confinement--with all the nutty-ass characters I've encountered over the post years, as well as the tragic environment. It borders on absurd.

Or a short fiction piece--perhaps a children's story. I once wrote a scene of a play based on my freshman year at Purdue, integrating a buddy of mine who is a Satanist rocker chic who carries a rabbit's skull for good luck and wears puppies and kittens flannel pajamas. She's a riot.

How are you doing? I miss reading your blogs. You write the funniest shit, Kelly. You should definitely start your book.

In other news...I have none. Just more of being locked in a fucking room.

My mom met with the guy who is writing a book about me to sell him photos of me growing up. That's a strange feeling. someone buying snapshots of my life. Creepy! For all to see. I dind't even get to pick them. Oh well. Anyway, I gues there' s a couple with my ex-boyfriend, David, like prom and stuff, and I think he should have a say in if his photo is blasted across the nation. So it's given me a reason to contact him again, after nearly 9 years. This pleases me. I love the crap out of this man, even though I was the one who broke it off with him and it was him who chased me. We fell apart for a few reasons, but ultimately, he is a fantastic guy. A guy I should've stayed with. He would have never killed anyone, and if he did, he has the balls to own up to it. Sorry, I digress. This is someone I was with from age 17-20. We were a constant in a world of change. If I had to pick one man to spend eternity with, it would be him. He isn't rich or have model looks, but he is capable, honest, loving and is good in bed. Anyway, it will be nice to talk to him again. Something I am looking forward to doing.

After I left him, I stumbled from one bad affair to the next. They were so bad, I could write a short story about them. Honestly, I wonder if PEN Writing would disqualify the story if it included a tiny-dick story?

I hope you are well and finding some good luck and opportunities. You deserve them.

Best--
Sarah

P.S. Can you send me the topics for the next 6 months of Readers Write from The Sun?