Letters from the Inside, Michael Swango, #119

Dear Kelly,
Before proceeding to some of your questions, I must mention the just-released THE PALE KING by David Foster Wallace. Wallace's posthumous novel, set in an IRS office in central Illinois in the 1980s. Even though I have not read his magnum opus Infinite Jest, I know in my gut that I could completely lose myself in his writing.

[Ed.: Omitting some quotes from The Pale King reviews.]

"PALE KING is in some ways an ode to stasis and perserverance, to the human ability to endure all the slings and arrows of monotony and everyday misfortune."
[Kelly: this could certainly describe some days here. Probably even some days in your world!]

[Ed.: Omitting more reviews and his request for me to send him some should I come across them.]


Wow! 100+ items of correspondence?!
You are absolutely accurate in your observation that my "temperment" or "mood" remains steady. I ssure you this is not jus tin the letters. I don't know if I would call it a "defense mechanism" ... perhaps "situational adjustment" might be more precise. Ther is no feigned emotion, certainly no feigned happiness.
Happiness really does not fit!

If you consider the situation, or the unimaginable circumstances that could put you in a similar, though ar less severe situation, you would probably find that you would gravitate toward a "constant mood" as you put it.

Believe me, no offense taken. I actually find your cerebral "Wallace-like" questions really get far more to the core of me and to the core of this en-route to Alpha Centauri situation.
Continuing...personal anger or sadness? Unreserved? Not for some time, if ever here...

You may "wear your moods on your sleeve" but I think that is a function of your own communication modus operandi. : for at least ten years/and I would guess m ore like fifteen/you have been talking to the world instanteously, in real time, with the express purpose of revealing real-time feelings and emotions--the good, the bad and the ugly...and gut-wrenching pain like 911. That's the beauty of BLOGGING; or is that term so yesterday? Seems as though social media/ FaceBook pages are the current wave...

Obviously, the written / typed and mailed letter is a mode of communication so different. Not just last century, but 19th Century.

I will, however, take slight offense, :-) to your comment: "If you were a real-life friend rather than a "behind the bars pen pal" I suppose I would have much less trepidation in trying to broaden our friendship."

OK-not right on so many levels! I live a real life and you lead a real life. Agreed, mine is lived here but still very real, I assue you. Actually, with insatiable curiousity and the power of the memory palace, far more real than you realize.

> It is my hope that at some point you will cease seeing me through the distorted prism of "b.b.p.p" --and just see me as a person. Once you do that, Kelly, I think you'll see many things in a different light. Just as I try hard to see you as much more than a "n.y.c.p.p."

>..."trepidation: Once again, you need to know that there does not need to be any trep. And I will continue to repea that until you know and accept that it is true!

How do you do it? You ask a succinct paragraph of questions, and here I am on p. 6!

You said you were hungry to ask more. Please feel free. However I may do the same.

***

I gave you my first thoughs on "The Killing" Definitely an ongoing conversation. Agaion, that article you sent me perfectly captured the sense of the series.

[Ed.: Omitting movie talk.]

You take care and stay safe--the world needs you, Kelly. Thinking of you--talk to you again soon.

Your REAL friend:-) Michael

P.S. I'm puzzled as to woh is selling my letters on the serial killer site. Purchasers (if any) are really getting riped off!!