Letters from the Inside, Michael Swango, #120

Dear Kelly,
Hi sunshine! Late April, which means heavy, wet snow, lots of it--in the Colorado mountains to the west and south. Like happy hour it is always winter somewhere....

Returning immediately to your letter(s):

I think we left off with: have you heard anything about the super-twisty thriller DOUBLE HOUR? It still blows my mind about the letters/and and OMG! the cast of GLEE will be covering Rebecca Black's "Friday"...talk about an internet sensation and fifteen minutes of fame!

Request: IN ADDITION to anything you see on David Foster Wallace's THE PALE KING could you also send anything that discusses or analyzes THE KILLING. Everything about that show is brilliant. I could easily talk about it for 30 minutes but much more to get to. Actually, one thing to ask you: Before it started ou thought it would be a GREAT show (agreed) and that you hoped it would be Lynchian. I doubt if I've seen as much David Lynch as you have [Eraserhead, Blue Velvet, Twin Peaks] but even though it does not seem Lynchian. I think they've found a different sort of excellence. Your thoughts?

Just heard the opening bass guitar riff to Duffy's Mercy -- being used in a commercial. One of my favorite songs from the last 3-4 years...the video is outstanding as well.

Quick hits from your small print letter:

>Sorry the Tyson show was so boring. When I heard about it I immediately thought of you bcause I know you like Iron Mike AND pigeons!

>Do not complain, bitch or moan about your "Client List". Was it only eighteen months or so ago that you were looking at boxes to live inm on the street? I am so glad you are so busy and so wanted.

> Not so ironic or unusual that i mentioned Louis CK's return [Yay!} in June. You, my dea, lead an extremely busy and(as you told me) occasionally harried life. Honestly? I'm amazed that you are as "up" on and involved with as many thing as you are. Thank God for the internet, FB, BBerry that keeps you in touch and aware 24/7.

> Twelve Days of Amir--I love Ak+KK. Does this guy realize how adored he must be? You two certainly have a lot of those unique couple stories that make a relationship. Then I got your letter with Amir's email...more in a bit.

[Ed.: Omitting movie talk.]

>Good question: I cannot save letters for very long for the reasons you correctly stated. However, you are able to save mine and yours since almost all of your letters are on your computer. Quite an interesting record, n'est-ce pas?

***

Let me talk about your most recent letter, just received. Regarding the endless angst and Stum and Drang* of your tempestuous relationship with Amir...

What a brilliantly and intelligently written email...romantic, loving, and utterly, absolutely perplexing. I totally believe tht he loves his KK, but for some reason cannot embrace it. He seems to see such a loving "permanent for now' relationship as an ending and not as a begining as it is.

[Personal note: Hard as it may be to believe, I was once in a somewhat similar situation with the genders reversed...I gelt as you do---hopelessly, madly and obessively. She did as well, but had some strange paradoxes of Amir's way of thinking.

I, of course, did not stop or give up but as a man in the pre-internet age it was probably easier than it is for a women--even today.

Yes--she became my "one and only" finally. However it was hell on wheels for a while...

BUT [always the but} Kelly I did not know his friend were poisoning the well against you. Especially female friends/colleagues. This time I agree with your use of the C-word for Lauren---Who the eff is she?????

This I know: A guy's male friends will rarely say anything negative about his girlfriend--not their business except to support him. And if they do he probably won't listen and will resent it.

Same--more or less--with a woman's female friends. KK loves him--tell us all about it. Unless he's beating her or sleeping around....again--supportive with her.

It is a man's female friends or work colleague who can have far more inlfuence on them regarding his lover, girlfriend or fiance.

OMG Kelly--how do you NOT (as Seinfeld would put it-ambush the bitch with a sackful of pennies! I think a woman like Lauren can be even more insidious than a man in a similar position. Especially when a man is a successful, intelligent, yes---very good looking, man with what sounds like an amazing career and limitless future--LIKE AMIR.

What she said is terrible--"bad for his magazine's rep" "loose cannon". Again---I ask the question:

WHO THE EFF IS SHE???

I've never met these people and I'm furious.

Again, unless a girlfriend/boyfriend/lover is physically abusive, sleeping aroundor something destructive--it is no one's business.

Your final question: What can I do to get him back?

ANSWER: You haven't lost him yet. Fight like hell. I would expect nothing less.

Must ask one more question, which might help to understand Amir's "Bartleby the Scriveners" - like reluctance and incertaintly.

Question: Has Amir ever had anything really bad happen to him? Suicide of a loved one- a cherished one...a near-fatal car or motorcycle accident...serious illness...death of someone young, close to him...something that makes you aware in a brilliant blinding flahs that all this we take for granted can be gone in an instant--tomorrow...even today?

Thank you. I really want to know.

[BTW, In the ABC fam show "Make it or Break it" the QUEEN BITCH is named Lauren.]

You hang in there and stay safe. Thinking of you, sunshine.