Letters from the Inside, Sarah Pender, #63

Kelly,
I love how the first sentences of the Puzzle blog says that "Art makes Tim Kelly's heart palpiatate, " and you happen to be one of the best puzzle pieces...put on Japanese TV, asked to do another one...you've definitely earned brownie points and he's not married YET.

Tonight is your big night at the movie premiere. I'm wondering if Amir has stuck to the status of you two officially not dating or have you two made up for the sake of the night or are you boycottiing the event?

Yiour last letter and blog entries so completely remind me of being 15 and very depressed, full of teenage angst, and hopelessly in love with someone who would slow down long enbough for me to touch, fuck and run away, just far enough so I could see, hear, smell him, but only touch the careless laughter hanging in the air. One shitty thig about being depressed and in solitary is that I don't have the luxury of an object of attention, passion or even lust. I am alone and all I have is my hate as anb emotional companion. Even it leaves me alone so that I become numb and left with no feelings at all. Your cut out lines, puzzle expression--I bet it was beautiful and eeire at the same time. Collage made with deep emotion always are.

Whenever did you invite the third entity? That is so perfect? I often think back and year for Kim or David or even Rick when I am lonely and I think, why the fuck would I long for rick after what he's done? I realize that what I long for so deeply is the third entity, that chemical reaction or soul reaction that is more beautiful than the finest art, more alive than a 6-month old baby, more magical than Disney World. It is everything you need and more than you could want and I wonder if I can ever get that back again. That world is ending for you and Amir and evenI feel the loss of it halfway across the US.

The Die! about your building lock was great. I wonder if you'd put that on the HANDS site. PERFECT!

As I sit at my little shelf and stool I'm listening to world news and wishing myself somewhere across the world, living a parallel life and wonder if I focus on the vibrations of my energy if I can leap my conscience from this life to a parallel one. If we are not our bodies then it should technically be possible. Perhaps I should look into astral projection. I would certainly become a legendary escape artist if I could do it...they'd find my body in a ocma with my conscience inside another bady, basing in the sun on the terrace of an Italian villa.

Has there been any flirtation with Bruno? If he did show interest would you reciprocate despite his connection to Amir? Do you have any hope for you and Amir? Did you make your new puzzle piece? Not sure how long this will take to get to you but I hope you have a VERY HAPPY 41st BIRTHDAY!

Sarah