Letters from the Inside, Sarah Pender, #7

Dear Kelly,

I absolutely adored your story about going to India. What I loved even more--your photos of all those little kids, full of life and innocence and JOY! I'm especially fond of the big eyed little boy--so sweet. "DANCE PARTY"--How great!

I see that despite not wanting to have children, you were good to know what to do with them, or rather, how to BE with them. Children are such gifts.

Yesterday, when visiting with my mother, I noticed at least ten children under 3 in the visiting room. I was distracted by all these little magical people milling about. One little girl has seen me in the glass box (I am isolated in a no-contact room, and have visits through glass & talk through a phone) twice now, and when she walks by she stops, stares up at me and smiles. I just smile back and hold her gaze, being with her innocence and curiosity. She watches me from the vending machines and takes the long way around to see me again. I am honored to be the object of a small child's attention, one who knows nothing of murder, sex, drugs, hate, lies or all the things that infect the world.

Kudos for you for not hiding behind your Blackberry.

And for being smart enough to feed the "chicken" to the kid.

I get a kick out of your writing. You have a funny point of view. I find that what I think about a subject is rarely what I express in words. What I could otherwise express in a thousand word essay comes out of my mouth as, "You're a dickhead."
Real profound, huh?

Glad you had a nice birthday. I think once you get to 35, birthdays are spent doing stuff like having dinner with friends, doing the day-spa thing, buying a new piece of art, or going to a jazz bar. It's when you move past the birthdays when you once would go to a rock concert, get obliterated drunk and wakeup the next morning naked, alone, with a sore asshole and a birthday card on your nightstand signed by some guy named Ricardo. At least you can infer he has a fat cock and a sexy name. Hmm... Let's check my camera-phone for evidence...And you subsequently burn the sheets and delete the photos, hoping you did not text these to anyone.
Not that I would know...

Soon I plan to take an excerpt from what I've written and send it to some magazines and literary websites for review and to really just get some awareness out there, see what sort of reaction I get. I get that some of my life is really juicy, some is beautiful, some is tragic, some is fascinating, and some is hilarious. Although I have a dry sense of humor, and that's pretty evident in my book writing. What I get a couple of excerpts (funny word) prepared, I will gladly send you a copy.

I considered your request to share my letters with a few of your friends. I don't' have a problem with you posting my letters, though I get that I will likely filter the personal information I share with you based on knowing several others will be reading it. Perhaps we an agree that if I feel I don't want something shared, I will indicate that, and you commit to honoring my request? I can be okay with that.

I look forward to hearing about your trip to Alaska. My aunt dated a guy who worked on one of the Alaskan cruise liners and went a few times. She reported there is great beauty up north. I wonder if you'll get to see the aurora borealis? I always wanted to see it How can you not witness such energy and not be in awe of creation? I don't' care how people think we got where we are--evolution, creation, intelligent design, whatever--there's no way you can see stuff like that and still believe we are a fucking accident. Chance, my ass. And I love science. I could lay down and make love to it. But I know that when we cease being critters on earth that ain't it. Thermodynamics--energy is never created or destroyed; always changing. Heat, light, matter...
This ain't it.

I was quite amused by your story of Patrick, the "Love Spammer". I am amazed at what people's need for love and affection will drive the to do. Over and over again.

Kelly, what is a flokati?

I like Scout. I look forward to the next episode of OUTSIDE THE BOX. I'm not into soap operas or TV series, but I get excited about good romance. (Even though since you are still single, it obviously didn't' work out.)

I recently (well, in December) did the Night Dance on a couch in front of a roaring fireplace. I remember thinking how remarkable it was that we moved in sync. I like that term for it, the Night Dance. Mind if I use it in my book? I still have the last 100 pages or so to write--regarding my adventures while out. Man, I had a lot of fun.

Life is good.

Okay, it's way past my bedtime. Hope this finds you well. Take care. I look forward to hearing from you.

Sarah

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