Letters from the Outiside In, KK to Swango, #9 and #10

As I said before, I alternate between typing letters to prisoners and sending small handwritten cards. The typed ones I keep saved on my computer; the handwritten ones I do not have copies of. I won't post all I send to them, but occassionally I'll post what I have sent so you can see my tone and understand some of the topics they discuss in answer. So here are the two last ones I sent to Swango. I will post his letter of reply this week.


Hello Michael,

It is pouring out today. This is one of the few weekends I have nothing planned. I headed to the video store as I wanted to rent, I Have Loved You for So Long. Alas, the store didn’t have it, but it is my next Netflix coming and should be here Tuesday. Imagine my raised eyebrows when later, I opened your letter and saw you reference it. Likewise I was supposed to see Lymelife with a friend but he was detained at the airport and couldn’t make the movie. I will try to go next Friday to see that. It is the only movie currently in theaters I haven’t seen that I want to. Yesterday’s Netflix was Donkey Punch. Are you familiar with it? Three Irish girls are on vacation in Mallorca and meet 3 guys who take them on a yacht they work on. The girl gets accidently killed and the remaining ones battle it out. The boys want to dump her body overboard and say she was drinking and fell; the girls want to report the homicide.

On Saturdays I have a routine. At 8:30pm I walk the dog and pick up the first Sunday edition of the Times. Then I come upstairs and watch America’s Most Wanted and 48 Hour Mystery and onto Sat. Night Live if it isn’t a repeat. On the weekends I usually cook something big and special, but this weekend I’m not into it. I’ll just order something in. I think tonight maybe Peking Duck.

I finished reading the Diane Arbus biography—are you familiar with her and her photography---and tried to watch FUR a movie based on her life. It was so awful I stopped watching after 35 minutes. Ugh. Just ugh. I have to remember to Google her to see her famous photos. I would love to send you pictures from Cindy Sherman and Diane Arbus but right now my color printer doesn’t work and in black and white probably wouldn’t be as good. I may buy a new color printer in the next month or two so we’ll see…

I turn 39 next month. May 16th. I had this dream a few years ago that I was told I would die at 39. It keeps popping back into my head. I have some enemies out there…. I bought a ticket to see a Broadway show that I will see the week of my birthday. It is getting great reviews and a few friends saw it and loved it. It is called God of Carnage and stars James Gandolfini (of Sopranos fame), Hope Davis, Jeff Daniels & Marcia Gay Harden.
Here is the gist: Two ostensibly civilized married couples meet up to sort out a playground fight. The son of one couple (Jeff Daniels and Hope Davis) has broken two of the teeth of the son of another (James Gandolfini and Marcia Gay Harden). At first diplomatic niceties are observed, but as the meeting progresses and the rum flows, huge tensions emerge and the gloves come off, leaving more than just their liberal principles in tatters.
Funny you should mention M. Night Shmayalan. I LOVE all his movies. Most people have panned the last few, but I love him. He writes fairy tales for the old and disillusioned.

I would love to hear more about your incarceration. Why? What it is like there? I realize you are in for life, but if you could get out, what would you do? I have written to another prisoner who is in for life and she is not allowed TV, etc. It sounds like you have access to television and movies. You even mention the food isn’t awful. I suspect it all depends on which jail you are in, but from what I’ve read it is awful. What are your feelings about all of this. Clearly you are an extremely bright man, so you are very aware of the whys and hows and must have some serious feelings about this whole situation. You mentioned you can’t tell me certain things for legal reasons, and I understand about that. But tell me all you are allowed to.

Thank you for enclosing the clippings. I actually read that Times article about Netflix by Wilson when it came out. In this Sunday’s NYT one of my new clients is profiled in the real estate section. It is a very big deal and they are very happy about this.

I am enclosing another New Yorker article—this one written by Woody Allen about Bernie Madoff. It is funny.

I may want instantly on Netflix the old Paul Newman movie: The Drowning Pool (’75). Do you know it?

Are you familiar with the actor , writer and director Eric Schaeffer? He has a show on Showtime called, “I Can’t Believe I’m Still Single…” Prior to that he wrote and starred in a great show on F/X called Starved, a Seinfeldesque comedy centered around 4 NYers with eating disorders. He did six movies: My Life is in Turnaround, Fall, If Lucy Fell, Wirey Spindell, Never Again and most recently, Mind the Gap. I am friends with him and went on a few dates with him. I wrote a very interesting piece about how when I first saw Fall in the early 90s I told my friends I’d date him someday. They rolled their eyes. When I married my husband it turned out his friends were a band that did the music for Fall. Still, they long since lost touch. Then after my divorce, the first blind date I went on was with an audio engineer who was approached by Schaeffer to do audio for his latest movie. The date said Schaeffer was an asshole and wouldn’t give me his number. Thirteen years and 2 close calls but still no meeting. Finally my ex-husband told me about Eric’s new memoir, a book called, “I Can’t Believe I’m Still Single…” I messaged him on Myspace and we met and dated. I did some publicity for his book and we fizzled out. Then later while he was filming the series, I was actually included, mentioned on a few of the episodes. In one he calls me and you can hear my voice. Odd how life works. I got to go to the premiere of the show which was really fun. Anyway, wondered if you knew his work and what you thought of it. He has another season of his show coming out on Showtime.

I entered my dachshund, Mini, in a contest for Pet of the Month and he won! His picture will be in the paper starting on Thursday and run for 4 weeks. When it appears I will try to cut it out for you to see.

You asked about India. I wrote something about my trip that got published. I’ll paste it in here and sign off for now.

--Kelly
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[Next letter I sent him.]

Hello Michael,

Just got your letter. Today is April 18th. In response to your letter, I have seen Tell No One. Great flick. Very spooky. I always see French movies like that. Love them. I am very familiar with KST’s work. She is such a good actress. I cannot, however, ever get into anything about vampires. I find that ridiculous, even if well-written. I am not about fantasy or willing suspension of disbelief. I have still not seen the Education of Charlie Banks. I think I’m opting to wait until it comes out on video in June.

As for the article I wrote with and about my husband, yes, we had a very volatile relationship once we lived together. Prior, things were very good. I am SO Type A---glad you can see that from my letters---and very anti-drug. That article, while harsh, was something Wm. willingly participated in and those quotes from him were verbatim. He and I had that type of dynamic. He sort of even liked being written about, even if unfavorably. We had similar senses of humor. One of the problems was that my ex-husband was not into reading, studying, etc. I am very exact, on top of bills and goals and quite neurotic. He is very laid back and likes to take shortcuts. Just two different types of people.

Now how about you? I asked in a previous letter---I’m assuming you haven’t gotten it yet---if you were married or had children. Prior to your incarceration did you date much? Did you have a “type?”

Are you familiar with David Sedaris’ books? If not, they are hysterically funny. He writes about his gay life, his wacky family, his travels, etc. I love his stuff. In fact, he just had another published this week in the New Yorker. I’d send it but I’m not sure how you feel about him. This one was about how he was traveling by train, years ago when smoking was acceptable, and how he met a low-life type man who he got a crush on.

In this letter I’m enclosing a piece from New York Magazine—a small snippet from Cindy Sherman, that photographer that I just saw the movie about. I wish you were familiar with her work, and as I said I will try to print some of her famous stuff out when I get access to a color printer. New York Magazine did an issue about famous people and their stories about the first week they moved to NYC. Cindy’s was interesting. I remember mine. The day I moved into NYC to a sixth floor walkup, I lost my job and my boyfriend. Typical NY story. NY knocks you on your ass and only the strong figure out a way to stay here. I’ll never leave. I also lose a bit of respect for those that leave.

I’m glad you appreciated Hell Hole. Clearly you know more about the jail experience than I ever will, but I found it interesting. How does your facility compare? Do you have friends there? Roommates? I want to hear more about what you experience in jail.

You mention a Cistercian monastery which made me wonder if you have a religion. What are your thoughts about God and religion?

I am not familiar with THE KINDLY ONES but will Google and find out what you are referencing.

I am also enclosing a clipping of my dog Mini and the article about him winning PET OF THE MONTH. Cheesy, but so cute.

Lastly, I’m enclosing a blurry snapshot of me I happened upon whilst cleaning out my desk drawer. I send it, even though it is a few years old, so you can see what I look like. I have tons of recent pictures of me on the computer, but again, no color printer, so this is one of the few hard copies I own, aside from a wedding picture, which I would send if you were interested in seeing it.

--Kelly