Letters from the Inside, Michael Swango, #32

Dear KK---
Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale,
a tale of a fateful trip,
That started from this tropic port,
aboard this tiny ship.

The mate was a mighty sailin' man,
the Skipper brave and sure.
Five passengers set sail that day for a three hour tour. A three hour tour.

The weather started getting rough,
the tiny ship was tossed.
If not for the courage of the fearless crew,
the Minnow would be lost. The Minnow would be lost.

The ship set ground on the shore of this uncharted desert isle,
with Gilligan, the Skipper too, the Millionaire and his wife, the movie star,
the Professor
and Mary Ann, here on Gilligan's Isle.
***

Hi sunshine! I wrote the above to make a point about the mysteries of memory. I am certain that I have not seen a "Gilligan's Island" rerun for at least twenty years-or heard that "earworm" of a song. Yet there it sits, perfectly intact within our memories... (because I know that you know it too; plus a dozen other inane ditties from TV or commercials!). More on this in a bit...

The rest of your letter, plus another-my cup overfloweth thanks to you-so let me get to them forthwith: (Another great word--it is so odd!)

Looks like I will begin with some of our serious and "weighty" topics. That's OK--the beater to know you inside and out--if you will allow it...

There is no answer to the question you asked, and then wrote, "I am sure I'll never get that answer, but you need to know I want to know." [Ed.: The question I posed to him was how many people in total did you murder?] Very interesting statement, my dear Kelly. And actually, I appreciate your wanting to know so much...now if only your wanting to know me so well can extend beyond what did or did not happen over eight years ago++. If in time it can, then I can assure you our discussions, and your knowing me and vice-versa, can be far more rewarding and fulfilling. I know that you and I can learn a lot from each other, KK. But clearly it has to be something we both want.

[Ed.: I know I promised to not editorialize but I feel the need to here. Basically this is the first of four letters--I will post the ones that follow shortly--that implore me, try to coerce me, prompt me, to discuss sex with him. Basically what he is saying here is if I want to know in depth details of his crimes, he is fine with it, but I must offer him something he wants to read about in return. The final letter of this sort I got when I returned from my trip to Alaska and it is so pushy that I'm not sure I can continue writing to him. I have written him many times in very exact terms that I find it inappropriate to discuss anything overtly sexual with someone incarcerated. I have reiterated time and time again that I am very happy to correspond as penpals but I will not discuss intimate details of my sex life and do not desire to hear his. He can't let this go apparently.]

As you & I have discussed before, I cannot get into the incidents, etc. that you alluded to. Besides, there are no absolute answers...I would rather read the "real truth" of the night dance or any of your blogs or the contract you give your clients than any book that tries to tread through this complex story.

One more thing--I am glad that you admit that "your life has been rather interesting." So far I am fascinated, and we have barely scratched the surface. And believe me, it does not "pale" in comparison to mine.

To repeat--no way could I hate you for asking your questions. Again, I only hope they can lead to more probing questions and revelations about the many more interesting and pleasurable aspects of both of our lives.

WARNING: Sexual comments to follow!:

I joked about the "real truth" of the Night Dance, but I believe you. [Ed.: He is referring to a line in a column I wrote about a date with Scout that lead to him sleeping at my house. I made it clear in the column and also to Swango in my letter that I was merely referring to SLEEPING.] But I must say that from a purely man-woman/man wants woman point of view, it is difficult to imagine lying together in bed with woman one is so clearly "connected" to without several amazingly sensuous and loving sexual couplings taking place. It has been my experience that bodies that sleep together so wonderfully also have powerful, intimate & loving sex as well...

Again-I know how uncomfortable this seems to make you, so I'll stop.

With reference to "Scout" - I can't count the number of relationships I have seen that were destroyed by alcohol. Usually by an alcoholic male, but not always. There are few things sadder to watch, especially when things with the couple seem to otherwise have a chance.

As previously mentioned, both my parents, being of that generation, were "social drinkers." However, I am sure my father drank more heavily during the many years he was in Vietnam. And of course, upon his retirement, it was alcohol that hastened his death seven years later.

Sooo many divorces and breakups and of course, young deaths in DUI accidents. I remember one situation where a man driving drunk killed himself & his tow kids in a one-car accident. His estranged wife (separated because of the drinking) had to come to the ER and find out all three were dead.

***

Such cheerful talk-but you and both tend toward the dark- so that's not a problem.

A "memory palace" is a mental construct which I believe dates from medieval times. It enables one to store extremely vivid memories and recall & re-live them at will. It is not easy and not foolproof- but something I think you would find most interesting. Google the topic/or Wikipedia/and send me what it says and we'll discuss further if you wish. I read one of the books mentioned in the afterword of Thomas Hams' book Hannibal-in which he uses the "memory palace" as part of Lecter's psyche. Please don't draw any conclusions! I learned about the memory palace while I was in Africa.

Both of the enclosed articles made me things of you:

>Brief review of "Nurse Jackie" on Showtime. Sounds like a show you would "get" if you had the time to watch it. I know I would like it.

>Interesting comment on an 04 book that remarkably correlates with the film, "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button." I've already added the book to my reading list.

KK-As you probably know by now--my "reading list" is quite long, given the current situation. By the way, I was serious about FLASH FORWARD! [Ed.: He wants me to buy and send him a copy.]

No time today to delve into your next letter(s) with "New Yorker" article plus your bizarre NYC stories from blogs you read/ plus your brief but chock-full letter. Will answer and respond tomorrow/Tuesday.

However, must comment on two things briefly before getting this in the mail:

>Your comment about "OMG! Michael-if this envelope smells like perfume, it is NOT intentional." Sooo funny. KK-lots of girls & women perfume or scent ALL their letters. You really are skittish about "such things."

> Speaking of which--another WARNING! Love your headshot, Kelly. What you are wearing is perfect. The shadow is very professionally done. That Mona Lisa "almost" smile...and once again, like in your lovely & sexy wedding photo-I sense so much sensuality & giving of yourself totally just below the surface...Ok, I'll stop now.

Obviously more to follow. You take care--stay safe, and I'll be thinking of you.

Yours,
Michael

P.S. Looking this over very quickly, I meant to say more about memory and the song "Hallelujah". Next time. XO