Letters from the Inside, Sarah Pender, #67

Dear Kelly,
Just got your letter and I've got to say that I dig the shiny paper. Never seen anything like it in the 10+ years I've been writing ridiculous amounts of letters.

I hope Amir does return safely, whenever that may be and that you have passed your withdrawal symptons, met some fun fling in the Hamptons, and return home with a renewed energy and inspiration. Since you have a ton of work ahead with your clients, you will need it.

The book I have not read, but enough of the people who are close to me and who were either involved or who have known me forever all are pissed beyond pissitivity about all of the misinformation put in it. There are errors, unchecked facts half truths and outright bullshit. You have to remember that this book was written by a Republican journalist, a crooked police officer, and a dirty prosecutor. Of course I'm the bad guy, all my friends or lovers were idiots, and the law enforcement and prosecutors are heroes.

Hey they wrote the story so they have the righ tto be the heroes of the day. However, they don't have the right to lie about me and other people. You are a smart woman, Kelly, so you understand syntax. So you know that by changing the placement of a single word in a sentence you can change its whole meaning. Even dolphins understand syntax.

Bring the surfer to the board. (Dolphin nudges person towards board.)
Bring the board to the surfer. (Dolphin pushes board over to person.)
Sometimes all you need to do is place a sentence within a different context to change the meaning, which is wha ta lot of media do---it's called "framing". And then, sometimes just a change in tone, emphasis, or pauses, can change meaning.

I want you to come here. (Points to floor in front of her.)
I want you to come here. (Points to her tongue.)
Big difference, huh?

Well, all I've heard so far is stuff like this. Some of it is little stuff like people's eye color or the color of a car. Some of it is big stuff, like leaving out important information or attributing one sentence to the wrong speaker which accuses people of misdeeds. Other times, it is saying something that is a conjecture, or that could be true and presents it as if it did happen, when it didn't.

Do you know what a factoid is?

Factoid: noun. unverified or inaccurate information that is presented in the press as factual, often as part of a publicity effort and that is then accepted as true because of constant repetition.

AND
faction: noun - a literary work or film that is a mix of fact and fiction.

That's exactly what this book is--- faction.

You know how peole tell you not to believe everything you read? There's really good reason for that. You can bet someone will be suing for either libel or defamation. I'll give specific examples once I have read it.

To your questions:

Yes, I am 5'8". I never really feel like I am especially tall because I am used to looking most men in the eye. It doesn't occur to me that i'm tall. I think most women are just short.

You asked where Steve (the author) gets his references. Well, he doesn't reveal his sources and people who don't reveal their sources are usually protecting someone whom has bent the rules to reveal these "facts".

The assertion that I enlisted Rick to help kill Drew and Trish is an allegation made up by the prosecution because it needed a story to frame the facts so that I looked guilty. Then, since they have noevidence that this occurred (at the time, the only evidence they had was that Rick admitted to arguing with Drew and that Drew threatened him and then there was a struggle over the gun.) They had to "find" some. The only person who testified to this scenario was Floyd, except the part that Steve leaves out is where Floyd gets up on teh stand and actually EXONERATES me. Floyd says that I do not plan to kill them, that Rick did it when an argument escalated between him and Drew and that when I bought the gun, I had never intended for things to go so far. The prosecutor, Larry Sells, cuts Floyd off, takes a piece of paper, highlights a section, hands it to Floyd on the stand, tells him to read it quietly to himself and then asks him, "Just say yes or no. Did Sarah plan the murders?" This is all in the transcripts. Floyd says "Yes."

END OF STORY.

That's when Larry Sells leads Floyd into the story of how I'm a manipulator. However, no one can find any examples of this.

Oh. I take that back.

After I told Rick that I did not want to be with him anymore, that 's when he sought the services of a fellow detainee, Steven Logan, to forge a letter in my print saying that I killed them in a drug-fueled rage. When Rick gave this letter to the prosecutor, he also gave a deposition which basically put me in his place and he played my role. Where he supposedly comes back to the house and find that I've killed them. During this deposition, Sells is desperate to get any piece of evidence that i am a manipulator. He asks Rick if I am--and he says oh yes. She's controlling and manipulative. when he asks for examples, he can only say that I'm a control nut but would completely avoid answeringthe question, when then in alll his other answers gives examples of how kind I am and how I stayed clear-headed and was real laid back, working and busy all the time, never argued, blah, blah, blah. The prosecutor keeps asking. He asks Rick if I'd ever made commens like that I wished Drew was dead or anything and Rick says no. Sells ask again, "You mean Sarah never complained or made any negative comments about them?" And here's the kicker, Kelly, the absolute worst thing that Rick said about me in his statement where he has set me up and is accusing me of the murders is that i did not want him selling drugs anymore. That i worked enough so he could quit and that we dind't need this shit and that I did not want him leaving out of town for a few weeks to do God knows what. That's my evil dark side, wanting Rick to stop selling drugs. Again at the end of the statement, Sells asks him: Sarah was absolutely a manipulative person when it came to you and if you weren't doing what Drew told you you were doing what Sarah told you?
Rick says, "Really, I mean, yeah, but I would never do it to the full extent."
Sells: "Right, and she wanted you to get a real job."
Rick: "Yeah, she wanted me to get a job."
Sells "And she was supportive in what you were doing, essentially."
Rick: Yeah
Sells: Tha'ts all I have.

End of deposition.


How awful I must be to want my boyfriend to quit dealing drugs and get a real job. Call me The Wicked Witch of the South.

In fact, other than my evil employment wishes, no on can find a shred of evidence that this manipulating, controlling, evil person.Sarah even exists. That's the whole point---It's all a story. It's made up.

Next question: I did not seduce a wealthy guy into giving me a cushy lifestyle. I met Tom through an acquaintance when she asked me to be the third in a threesome. I agreed, but refused to have sex with the guy. When we were all done, he asked me what I was doing for the rest of the afternoon. I told him the truth--that my name is Sarah Pender, I just escaped from prison where i had been for 8 years for being wrongfully convicted of murder. That' Rick had come forward and told the truth, that he had killed them and I had nothing to do with it, bu tthe system failed me, so I escaped because I deserved justice. Now plans got screwed up and I don't have a clue what to do or where to go next. He said, well, I have to go home to my wife, so you can stay here tonight. He brought me back dinner and after a couple of days we made a deal. I didn't seduce him. I don't even know that I could play that role enough to be serious. I'm a nerd. I just be myself and some people adore the shit out of me. I was told that I am easy to love. We did some nice things and he drove a new Cadillac, but you live a more "cushy" life than I ever did.


Tom paid for my expenses for the first six weeks, but I earned my keep. I worked for room and board in Cinci doing office work and then worked as a blueprint estimator in Chicago and paid my own bills. Tom still paid for us to go to dinner and would buy my groceries and stuff, but so do a million other lovers for their mistresses. Again, you can believe I earned every bit of it either through doing his accounting or by other means of trade.

Next: I do have a sister. Her name is Jeni, she lives in FL and she is Princess of the Universe. I love her eventhough we are nothing alike. I once had a stepsister, Meagan. She was difficult, but I have no ill will towards her.

Next: The pic at my 2008 graduation was for my BS in Business Administration and my AS I had earned in 2006 for Computer Aided Drafting. Thanks for the compliment. I normally don't look bad as I have on TV. I am now back to my normal self, much like that graduation picture. It feels good to look like me again.

Next: Ididn't read Floyd's message. (Since I don't yet have the book,) but I'm sure it's bizarre. Floyd is kind of strange. I heard that he's back in prison for rape. Not sure if that's true or not.

Next: When Miller came here, he was weird. Like he tried to force a bond with me and I was just trying to figure out his motive and focus. I quickly learned that he was a liar and in cahoots with the police an didn't cooperate with him. He was a weasel. And he looks hungry. Too thin. A hungry weasel.

I find it funny that you said that you had written the book. I have tried to convince you to write a book about yourself for the longest time because 1) you are a good writer and 2) you already wite about yourself and have for years, so why not benefit from it?

You say that you dont' know a lot about me but you do. The stuff you don't know is either because you haven't asked or I think it would nto be a topic that would interest you, or because your life is more exciting and dramatic. This drama they wrote about in the book is sensationalism. The real story, I think, is way more intriguing. Just be prepared: Miller is obsessed with the details of my sex life, though I don't know if he told them correctly.The point is that he turned this into a sex scandal tabloid story. It's garbage. Why are people interested in my sex life? Jesus!

Next: Would like to check out the Glamour contest. I sent $10 to Creative Nonfiction Magazine but they never sent me the issue. Do you have their website info or contact info? I sent my father the issue of Tenacious that published my story about my mom. He said that he cried and that I should write more.

So, I'm enclosing my LIVE entry and one related Die! I'll write one for my HANDS project either this letter or next. FUN.

I'm pooped. Hope all is well and you are happy and energized. Life is good, even when it sucks. It will always change.

Take care,
Sarah