Letters from the Inside, Sarah Pender, #49

Dear Kelly,

After I sent you the last letter, I got a letter from Michele B. inviting me to submit for Our Voice. And after about 25 hours of writing, rewriting and polishing, I finished the final submission. I am really proud of it. Once I recopy it (which takes about two hours!) I'll sent it to Michelle and keep my fingers crossed. I may try to work on the one about my father, or my first (gay) boyfriend, but I don't know if I can make the deadline. That was A LOT more work than I thought it would be. I evny those writers who can take 6 weeks in the Bahamas and write a best-selling novel.

I like the Dali postcard, but I don't get it. Ossification of the Cypress---no, I don't get it.

I got my buddy hooked on Saturday night Moth hour. A long time ago, I told her she should work on her storytelling. She's naturally funny and comes up with some original vivid metaphors and similes that make me pee on myself. If she would write them down and polish them up, practive, she could totally do a MothShow.

I painted this envelope for you, and see that hte red is more of a pink than a primary red. [Ed.: She always paints my envelopes so I requested she do them in black, white and red. The first was a big red apple and this one she is referencing is a red Mini against a black striped background.] I am going to play with teh colors to see if I can eek out a truer red. I didn't have anything to work from, so my silhouette doesn't look like Mini as I had intended. I need a visual aid to help. Tomorrow or Sunday, I'll be able to paint again.

I get a kick out of what you create on your blog or articles for other sites. For one, it's a glimpse into someone else's life that doesn' t deal with the same retarded assholes that I do. You deal with different retarded assholes. It's amusing.

How did your recording for Mr. Beller's Neighborhood go? Do you think you sound funny on air? I like how our culture is preserving the art of storytelling. Whether is's for convenience of an iPod junkie generation or for a real appreciation for the art, I like it. If there's a magnetic storm or sunspot burst or something that wipes out computers and storage--what's left? Books and storytelling.

When you recorded in the studio, did your nerves make you want to pee a lot? When I get nervous I want to shit.

I am sorry Mini ate your perfect red spread. You sure love that little dog. I would too.

I liked the "Goatheads" article. The way she felt about moving to Brooklyn, being fascinated by all the different cultures, races, languages, shops, foods, etc. -- feeling on vacation every day, that comes close to how I felt when I moved to North Chicago. It didn't ever feel ordinary or boring.

As for the goatheads, that's one culture gap I would not want to bridge. Unless it would grant me a special wish. A really good wish.

I have never heard of this poem, Howl, or the big deal around it. I found it interesting that Ginsberg's boyfriends were bi--the artist said, "straight men" but straight men don't fuck men. Bi men do. But I thought about if there were differents in my attraction towards homosexual women vs. bisexual women. Yes, absolutely. Hadn't thought about that much before.

In the photo of you in the crowd at Amir's event, I know you are twirling your hair but I swear it looks like you are flipping him off. Although Amir is a little goofy looking, his great success and apparent charm make up for that ten times over. I'm a little biased because I know how much suffering you get out of your relationship with him. That makes me want to let Mini poo in his $1200 shoes. :-) He doesn't deserve you.

Have you asked Amir for a job lead?

That painting by your friend [Ed.: She is referencing [someone] from OD] captures exactly how I felt today, and countless other days in the past ten years after realizing my stupid loss.

"Like witches running from a stake." That's a good line, Kelly. You are so creative. I'm glad you have time to write. But why don't you do it to pay your rent? How long will focus groups and monthly columns supplement your PR gig?

Hey, do you have a website counter? If so, what is your reader base?

That "creative writing" you sent a couple of weeks ago, how's the real life version of that going? When you hired your civil atty, did you pay a retainer and then make a contingency agreement? How long do you think it will drag out? Have you talked to any politicians about creating a criminal law against that?

Have you considered working to write somle public figures' bio or memoirs? You're really good at "As told to Kelly" articles. Maybe Amir or someone he knows wants immortality themselves. Even if in vain, if they have the money you need the work. It doesn't have to be epic, just a job. I bet lots of wealthy people would pay to have their memoirs written. tHey just don't see it out because they don't know they want it---yet. Create some conversations and I bet there's an interest. It would not be heavy content, you would be provided the material and you could make a hunk of swiss cheese sound interesting.

I had some sort of emotionally wrenching reaction to being handcuffed today. I guess I just came to a tipping point. I mean, I get handcuffed every day, sometimes 6 times a day, but I absolutely hate it when an officer clamps them down so small, they might as well be child's handcuffs. I get bruises, no one cares. I got cuffed for my shower and they were supertight, when I asked for them to be loosened, I got justification for their placement and denial they were tight., like I had done something wrong by complaining. I begged, just get them off my bone. Nope. I refused to shower. Take the cuffs off please. I'd rather wash my ass in my sink then get cuffed up like that, like a misbehaving dog on a choker chain. Fuck that. I was so upset, I cried. God please save me, I pray.

Hopefully I'll have a better day tomorrow.

Peace,

Sarah

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PART TWO will be her writing submission for the book I suggested.