Letters from the Inside, Justin Barber, #3

Hi Kelly,

I hope you're well. Two of your letters arrived recently. Thanks for writing and sorry for my delayed response. Frankly, I'm often simply unable to harness my thoughts and emotions, and focus them inot positive communication. I don't like dumping my problems on others, so when I'm down I tend to withdraw. So please don't take my tardy reply as a sign that I don't appreciate you writing. And thanks too, for the pic. It does help to put a face with the words in your letter. You asked about stickers to seal the envelopes. Stickers are prohibited, although you may use scotch tape. To answer your questions about the mail room here. Yes, they read the incoming and outgoing mail, but technically they're supposed to "scan" the mail for inappropriate subjects (escape, introduction of contraband, witness/victim intimidation, etc.) With 1400 inmates and only a couple of mail workers, time is probably the most effective deterant to them actually "reading" the mail. It must be an interesting job at times, considering the intimate, explicit letters that come though here. Other than that, the job must be a real snoozer. You said you would send some of your more benign stories; you shouldn't worry about the content, if It's publishable in a NYC paper, it isn't too graphic for Century CI. I'm impressed with your writin gand your good fortune in recent contests! The 6-word memoirs are amusing. In "Our doorman see everything, say nothing." do you mean to imply that the doormen are discreet and will not gossip, or that the doormen will tell what they see, therefor you should say nothing in front of them? In trying to honor your request for me to try a 6-word memoir, I quickly realized that I'm in a very dark lace. Realized isn't the right word--I was reminded that my existence is undesireable in the extreme. Every memoir that came to mind seemed negative and self-pitying (is that even a word?) Five + years of incarneration have no improved my vocab or grammar. So I've been struggling to put a positive spin on things which is a good exercise since I hate thinking of myself as a victim or otherwise dwelling on negatives beyond my control or influence.

Justice elusive when belief trumps truth.

or

Never explain. Friends believe. Enemies won't.

The second one isn't "original"; I've read something along those lines before. Not exactly postive messages, but they're sunnier than my discarded efforts. I'll try to come up with some 6-word memoirs that generally describe prison life later. It'll be a challenge, since "normal" people have serious misconceptions (thanks to TV and movies undoubtedly) or prison life, and an accurate 6-word descriptionm will be difficult.

Endless lines. Endless time. Nothing accomplished.


That doesn't really work. Endless lines refers to the literal hours spend daily standing in line, but if I need to explain, the memoir doesn't work. I'll work on it.

I share your feelings about Florida. The state slogan should be: Come on vacation, leave on probation. Hey, that six words! Hate the place, but then I have good reason to. Anyway, I much prefer to the mountains to the beach . The sounds and smells of the beach still disturb me. Well at least they did the last time I was near a beach (probably 2003 or 2004.) I took up snowboarding in 2003 while living in Portland, OR. I found a small degree of peace, no, peace is too strong. I found comfort in the mountains. Seemed clean, especially after a recent snow. Lots of space, fresh breeze. Good therapy, I guess.

Hey, I need to close. It's time to lock-down for head count---they count us every few hours. I'll mail this and try to address some of your other questions later.

Take care,

Justin