Letters from the Inside, Thomas Whitaker, #16

Dear Kelly,

Hello. I'm sorry that it has taken me a little longer to write you back. A number of events came up all at once for me, and conspired to set me back by a week or two. I'm sorry to hear that you feel your performance was "cringe worthy" at the story presentation. Frankly, Kelly, you can be fairly tough on yourself, and I'm sure that you did better than you think. The drive to be better is a noble thing, but it can also do a person some real damage. Chalk it up to experience, and get out there and give it another go. I'm sure that you learned soemthing from all of this, right? I hope that you will participate in the SpeakEasy event. I'm sure that you will do brilliantly. :) Well, I got moved last this past week. It is always such a pain having to pack up everything. Fortunately, I dind't move off of the pod, just a few sections over, from 71 cell to 53 cell. I actually instigated this move, due to the mold in my old cell. I have been fiing grievances on that mess for a while now, and they finally got around to doing something about it. I've never seen mold grow so fast. I would clean it with soap and bleach I bought from the trustees, and within hours of the next rain, it was already growing back. That wall lieaked like a sieve. My new cell is so much better. No leaks (that I can se, at least), good radio reception (well, technically it still sucks, but tis better than it was in 71 cell), MUCH better neighbors (the importance of this cannot be understated), I am not in front of the damned dayroom anymore, I am not on one row anymore, and the toilet is brand spanking new. you can see the rust built up on the concrete where the old toilet apparently leaked for years, so I timed this one right on. If one HAS to move, all in all, this was not a bad move.
My lousy trial attorney is trying to save himself, at my expense. We filed on him for gross incompetence, and he is defending himself with far more vigor than he defended me, saying all manner of things. I have had to write a few affadavits in response to his claims, and it is ridiculous that I should even have to do this, because they TAPED the damned trial, and his inabilities were manifest, and commented on by many people. And you just know the Court of Criminal Appeals will eat his story up, because they are always looking for a reason to go against an inmate. Pretty sorry system we have here, Kelly. Haha, I wouldn't worry about the video of you at the story slam looking fat. I never believed those people who claimed that cameras add fifteen pounds, until I saw some screen shots of one of the interviews I did. Seriously, my face looked stretched out. I dont' know WhY this happnes, exactly, but it does. If it is any consolation, you look great in the photo you sent me of the dessert cart. Which was mean as hell, by the way :) I've read about some of the fancy food trucks you guys have in NYC. I doubt we have anything like that in Houston, besies the ubiquitous taco trucks which swarm like flies around construction sites. Some of those are actually pretty nice, with lots of flat screen televisions and wifi, but I doubt that you could call the level of food prepare there "gourmet". I...suppose...one could indeed put a little umbrella in a glass of Ensure, but there is something incredibly wrong with that line of thinking. Has Reid backed off you any since his return from the Carib? What happened with this guy you saw at the bar? Read anything good lately? I got a new book this week by Bart Erhman, called "Misquoting Jesus." It is very interesting. It shows how errors in the translation of the New Testament multiplied over the centuries. This author is head of religious studies at the University of NC, and he seems to know his business. Can you recommend anything good for me? You seem to be pretty connected to the literary world, especially wehn you consider my other pen pals.

You asked about the visit I had with my new step-mom. It was pretty much just getting-to-know-you type stuff. Nothing real deep. I am hoping they come back and see me next week when they are done moving back from Colorado.

Interesting that you wrote about the movie "An Education". I read the review of that one, and it looked interesting. I'm trying to think of what other movies Saarsgard has been in. I know I've seen him before. Maybe in "Suicide Kings". Whatever it was, he was sort of smarmy and elitist. Mor than that, I would love to see "Where the Wild Things ARe." I remember that book from 25 years ago. When I saw some of the screen-shots, it all came back to me. I guess I saw a lot of myself in Max, wanting to get away from home an disappear into this land of imagination. I'm glad to hear that they didn't make it a typical kid movie, but went with a darker, more arthouse feel...that is what the Sendak book deserved. Have the reviews been good?

What do you do when you have writers block? I don't feel like I could write anything right now to save my life. You seem to be able to write at least a few times a week, and I just can't manage it. So little happens here, maybe this is my problem. It's not just in writing, though. I can usually force myself to do my school work when I don't feel like it. I've been painting again lately, and even though I know that I have limited amounts of time before this paint goes bad, I can't seem to find the energy to work on anything. I feel like I sometimes need a huge kick in the head...figuratively, of course. Though maybe physically if thing don't turn around. Anyways. Hows work going? Did you ever force that deadbeat to cough up the dough? What are your attorneys saying about that?

I think I have the Craiglist thing figured out, so thank you for your advice. You asked what the "bigger goal" might be of the website, and there is no simple answer for that. I really believe that what they do here is immoral, and if I can add to the arguement in any way, I am going to leap for the chance. I dont' have an "ideal wish", as the only real option for me is a life sentence, which I am ambivalent about. Its not really about me, more about the movement to have the DP abolished. I haven't had a major effect on the issue, but I think I have had some minor effect, as I receive letters all the time from people who claim that mb6 has caused them to change their minds and position on the issue. I feel like the mroe poeple who read it, the more who will be challenged. Maybe most won't be altered in their stances, but some will. Maybe one day, this will all end, and whether or not I am here to benefit from thisis besies the opint. There IS a chance I could "get off completely" but it is important to understandthat I have not and would not press for this option. I recognize the wrong in my actions, and the need for society to have its justice. But, this justice does not require us as a society to engage in acts which are ethically reprehensible. And it does not give prosecutors and corrupt judges carte blanche to do whatever they feel like doing on any given day. Ultimately, if every one of us on DR was out there showing people the crooked hi-jinks that went on during their trial, people would be burning down courtrooms. Its that bad.

I had a visit this afternoon, which was quite odd. About two years ago I met this nice lady from Mexico, whose parents were Americans and moved down there to bring protestantism to Catholic Mexico, and ended up staying down there for good. So, she is white, but has lived in Mexico her whole life, until the last three years. Her husband is also Mexican, but looks white. So you had the three of us, all about as white as can be, speaking Spanish for two hours. People kept doing double takes; it was pretty funny. I had to concentrate hard not to speka in the dirty street lingo that passes for discourse back here, and it was more difficult than I had thought it would be to cut out all the "gueys" and "que chingaso" from my vocabulary for a change. Actually, that was probably one of the better visits I have ever had. Not a word about Jesus or church, just good conversation. Surprised me quite a bit.

Well, what is new in your life? I hope that you are doing well, and I look forward to hearing from you again. Your life is so much more interesting than most of the people who write me. Not a slam on them, just the truth. You have to forgive us rednecks for not living in that thar big city. Until next time, be safe.

T