Letters from the Inside, Michael Swango, #39

Dear KK---

Hi, sunshine! I could say that if you had only stayed in Seattle! I'm sure you were not amused by Seattle's all-time record high of 103 last week, plus their hottest July on record...as compared to New York's second coldest July of all time. Blame the Jet Stream. Perhaps August will bring you some hazy hot humid days in New York.

Once again, this letter may be shorter than I prefer, but again--would rather write less than go too long, without writing...Let me start with comments on two iconic artists/photographers, both close to your heart.

>Thank you for that most informative article on Cindy Sherman. Until I read that, not having seen her enormous body of work, I did not truly understand exactly what she did & how she did it. I can see why she is so celebrated in some circles & she and David Byrne?!!

>A disturbing article on Annie Liebowicz describing her massive financial problems the past couple of years. She needed some of your common sense & street smarts when it comes to money. It's always perplexing when an Annie or M.C. Hammer or Mike Tyson---people who have made tens of millions--end up bankrupt or worse.

I did learn some surprising things about her. I did not know that she and the late (and brilliant) Susan Sontag were a couple. I've read some excerpts from Sontag's journals--published by her son last year. Fascinating stuff. She's on my future reading list. That's a long and ever-growing list...

And Ms. Liebowicz had a child in 01 at age 51 and twins at age 55 in 05. I'm guessing this was in conjunction with her relationship with Ms. Sontag?

[Which reminds me of something I forgot to mention when we talked about children. I was a many-times donor in the 1980s--and there are older half-Michaels--several ++. I don't know them, of course.]

Also speaking of children you have many years to still decide if you want kids, with Annie having 3 children past 50... I do know the options for women and/or couples are increasing virtually every day, insofar as in-vitro/egg-freezing/etc.

Turning back to your latest letter/which I started to answer last week: Actually just a couple of things left to discuss:

Your comments on HIV/AIDS -- and your coming of age sexually in the "Age of Aids" ---are a story that really hasn't been told. Obviously, the gay side of the equation--how Aids decimated the gay male population in the US--has been explored and documented. But the heterosexual side has not been so discussed. Especially females, who are of course much more susceptible to contracting the virus via vaginal or anal sex.

There is must to talk about. For example, I can tell you that I ran across many men in the 80s & 90s who rarely if ever used condoms because they believed themselves virtually at zero risk of contracting HIV. If a woman was on the pill or the sponge, no condoms need apply.

You probably ran across your share of these men. Amazingly, many women felt that way as well (Aids is a gay disease, etc.)

I won't go on for now, because you seem truly averse to discussing HIV/AIDS and I tend to think your statement that it "depresses you" is not simply hyperbole.

AIDS--ground zero of a modern day pandemic plague in sub-Saharan Africa--was such a part of my life & daily experience & conversation for three years that it has lost all power to shock or affect me emotionally.

If & when you feel you can discuss it, I would love to hear how heterosexuals discuss AIDS and/or deal with it's possibility when it comes to sex. In the first decade of the 21st Century in a city like New York, with it's devastating history of AIDS.

You also mentioned this HIV/AIDS lawsuit that can't be discussed. That I understand since I am under numerous legal restrictions regarding what can and cannot be discussed. However, when it can be discussed, please do.

The bottom line of all this is what I've said to you before: That the reaction of HIV/AIDS by the government under Reagan and a homo-illiterate medical establishment is--to me-- one of the most ignored tragedies of the 2nd half of the 20th Century. The ignorance & apathy of the most medically advanced nation on earth contributed to tens of thousands of deaths from AIDS in this nation. Simply stunning, KK.

Randy Shilts began to tell the story in AND THE BAND PLAYED ON. Sorry we can't read it together...However, Kelly---If there is a book, fiction or non-fiction, that we could read together--I would be most open to doing so when you have the time!!
***

I said two things from your letter:

"As for dating--you mentioned a g/f of yours liked the sponge. While I am not interested in hearing of your sexual exploits, I am curious to hear about your girlfriends in general and why things ended and if you have heard from any, etc. Interested in hearing what you used to do on dates."

KK-REALLY? You embarrass me--actually you and me. Sexual exploits? As in non-emotional mindless sex "adventures"? Not really my thing. Your whole near-phobia about discussing actual sexuality is so misplaced and unnecessary.

I am much more evolved & sexually comfortable & adult than you apparently give me credit for. Trust me--anyone who wants mere titillation can find it in a thousand books, etc. +++

But with you, KK, I do want to explore -->everything in this paragraph and much more because you cannot know someone without knowing their relationships/boyfriends/girlfriends/emotional & sexual experiences [the only ones worth discussing in detail.] Trust me again--when discussed/when you feel comfortable and/or free of restriction: any discussion of sex/sexuality/sensuality will be clinical at times. and tasteful always...& probably boring...

"And scene!" OK OFF my soapbox for now.

Must get this longer than expected letter in the mail to you. Over the weekend read & heard multiple reviews of multiple films that I will discuss next time.

Please write soon/Thinking of you, KK--take care and be well. Recovered from H1N1?

Yours,

Michael