Dear Kelly,
You have so many different stationery/envelope combinations plus stickers. Received your letter written on the stationary with the Latin phrase. Sounds as though you have bounced out of your end-of-the-year funk, which was totally reasonable given your "holidays horrubus" (with apologies to The Queen!)
I was able to see the quite well-done "HOUSE" episode last night with the female sociopath as a patient. The stuff about the PET scan imaging is by no means proven/and they wimped out on the ending...but still, you rarely see the subject of sociopathy treated scientifically in any television venue. Worth seeing.
I will wait until I know if you've seen it (or are going to see it) before making comments and discussing. The actress who plays the patient is perfect.
Now to your fascinating letter...much to discuss: Sounds like you have very positive karma these days--another contest win! By all means do the yoga. Its effects on the body are well-known--but it's really your mind that reaps the benefits. Do tell me how it works out. I will try to avoid thinking any verboten sexual thoughts/comments in re yoga and the lovely female body.
[Ed.: I am omitting some discussion of movies, particularly Fish Tank.]
You raise a very interesting point: Is being "very empathetic" the opposite of a sociopath? I'm not so sure. Remember, a sociopath is not necessary immoral or actively evil or criminal. Amorality is far more common---and remember the quote (who originator I cannot recall):
"All that is required for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing."
Obviously, a subject for discussion. You have clearly done a lot of reading on the topic--what do the experts say?
If the Chihuahua [Ed.: He is referring to my commentary on a recent episode of Keeping up with the Kardashians, in which Kim finds a tiny chihuahua and brings it home. Later she takes it to the vet and they realize the dog is dying. I wrote about how said this episode made me.] makes you want to self-defenestrate *(So rarely get to use that word! See the start of the Thirty Years War in 1618.) then those Sarah McLaughlin commercials for abused animals must really be devastating. By the way, her song, "Angel" that plays during those spots is riveting and heartbreaking at the same time.
Ah yes, the ever-inventive & improvisational Dr. Engleman. His crimes & trials were in the days before 24/7 cable and Court TV, etc. But the person who told m e about the case said that the media coverage in St. Louis at the time was quite extensive. [Ed.: He is referring to a sociopathic dentist who was a serial killer for hire.]
You surely know by now that there is absolutely no feelings of "fame" or anything like that. [Ed.: I asked him about how he feels about his murders.] These were terrible acts that cost lives and caused untold suffering extending far beyond...That person, that mindset, no longer exists.
Thank you for sharing your short outline of the amazing story about the man you loved and still seem to, who was involved in the group the Congregation for the Light. I am somewhat familiar with Theosophy. And I am also sorry it ended as it did. Sounds as though you two had a powerful & visceral connection mentally & physically [Ed.: Just to reiterate, I NEVER write of anything even remotely sexual, so there is no reason for him to assume anything about physical connections.] --as it should be.
KK--how can I say this any more clearly? Reading that brief paragraph--consider it a book proposal--I wanted to know much much more about the man, your relationship with him, the Congregation for the Light, its members, its leaders, the conflict, etc. etc.
God forbid you would have to write about sex or sexuality...OMG! I bet you actually have a very positive sensual take on the subject, as do I.
The first rule of writing is to write what you know. Clearly this qualifies.
Second rule: Writing is work--every day work. Kelly you are ALREADY writing every day!!!
Just tell the story from the beginning. As you tell so many stories.
Remember I do read a lot--for obvious reasons. This is a subject and story that should and would be published. My God, you are a minor celebrity of your own already and you do know people. DO IT!
I must say one more thing: You might listen to me more, and we might have a closer & more sharing relationship, if you would think of me as a person with all of the complexities & historical past of anyone else--as opposed to a person fully defined by incarceration and the lurid prose of the net, etc. Not even close, Kelly.
Trust me--we could learn much more about each other via that understanding. I just don't know if you are able to do so. Think about it--because I will be thinking about you...
Great news that you will be seeing "White Ribbon". Very curious to hear your comments. Probably too much hope you'll see Lars von Trier's ANTICHRIST!
***
A few items enclosed--your comments and reactions please:
>GREAT ESSAY on the eve of the final season of LOST. I think Joshua Alston is spot-on with what he says. By the way--since seeing that scene from the Season V finale )(the one shown in the article enclosed), I have had Flannery O'Connor on my "must read" list. She was a Southern writer who died quite young (1925-1964) at age 39. She wrote the book in the photo still with that astonishing title: Everything that Rises Must Converge. She also wrote Wise Blood. (1952)
Yes, you guessed it--Could you do a Google or Wiki search & educate us both about Ms. O'Connor, that book and her other works? Thank you!
By the way, Kelly: You and I haven't even begun to discuss the Season V finale of Lost.
>The Starlite Lounge in Brooklyn. Ever been there? I know you are one of those elitist Manhattanites who look at the outer boroughs like a third world country. Only kidding! Seems like an interesting place. (Article sent to me courtesy of my self-described "radical lesbian feminist.)
>Story I believe we discussed a few months ago--the woman (Kristen Parker) who exposed hundreds to Hep C in Colorado. She also worked briefly at a New York clinic. Not looking good. (Article sent to me courtesy of my doctor/internist friend.)
***
Must get this in the mail. You take care and keep entering those contests! The Universe demands it! Stay warm & stay safe. Thinking of you.
Yours,
Michael
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Letters from the Inside, Michael Swango, #72
Ed.: I find this letter very interesting. Now that Swango knows I'm interested in sociopathy he is consistently sending me things that relate to it. In this letter he admits he has (or "had") sociopathic traits. There is no cure for sociopathy, so it is pretty apparent if he is admitting he was a sociopath, he IS a sociopath. Further, this letter is a prime example of the manipulation tactics of the sociopath and the sexually obsessive nature of them. He even speaks about a female sociopath he had a relationship with and pointed out her charm and sexual obsessiveness. He could easily be speaking about himself and I believe on some level he is. I also find it interesting that he told me to watch the latest HOUSE episode about a female sociopath who poisons a co-worker.
Dear Kelly,
Much to get to, and not as soon as I had hoped. Before your letters, two comments to make on one of your favorite fascinations:
>Not sure if you ever watch "HOUSE". I'm a latecomer to the show--the personal storylines are intriguing. The medical storylines a bit farfetched. The only reason I mention it is that on Mon 25 JAN the episode will involve the treatment of a female sociopath with pain of unknown origin. Apparently she completely charms the male staff, the females not so much. This letter will arrive too late for prior notice--but I know the show is available on-line for your viewing pleasure. If I see it, I will definitely let you know what I think.
>As you well know, the diagnosis or "degrees" of sociopathic personality/behavior can be subjective but the most obvious cases. I must tell you that female sociopaths, or females with sociopathic tendencies, can be absolutely fascinating people. And dangerous of course. Romantic and/or sexual involvement with them can be the ride of one's life, or worse. Again, it is subjective, but in the past I have been deeply involved with one woman who I am sure was a sociopath, and another who--if she wasn't--was damn close.
Should we ever be able to take our correspondence (I dare not say "relationship" or even "understanding"...) to the "next level", I am sure my recounting and our discussion of intense relationships would be most interesting and illuminating.
KK-You know that you keep a "therapeutic" distance---must like a therapist and patient---far more than anyone who has ever written to me...
And yes: since as we've already discussed I had some of those very traits/behaviors myself--I saw what they were and still could not resist... You do not allow discussion of details but I will tell you (no surprise) that women of that kind are extremely passionate and willing sexually, and know how to use their willingness to engage in all sex acts to further their own agendas... But again, it is their emotional & personal manipulations & uncanny abilities to persuade that you would find even more fascinating.
I know you said you have had dealings with such a person, but can' t discuss now. We can wait...
***
Must ask if you can send an article from "New York" magazine--one I know you either subscribe to or read regularly.
It's an article by John Heilemann in either (I think) they 11 JAN or 18 JAN issue of New York magazine.
It's an excerpt from the book he co-authored: GAME CHANGE about the 08 campaign - about the Edwards campaign. Thank you as always.
OK now to your letters:
Congrats on your contest win. Very succinct, very clever. You are a wordsmith- something I respect a lot.
Your complex life- despite your protestations to the contrary-never ceases to amaze me!
Miles to go---secrets to keep--stories to tell---before you sleep.... You have so many fans of your blog and have so much to look forward to, KK.
Thank you for the info about The Kindly Ones and Wetlands. Odd that they are both out in paperback on the same day, 31 JAN.
It really is interesting to me that as a straight woman who has lived in New York forever---who bears some similarities to the "New York" woman made famous and/or popularized, in "Sex and the City" and about a thousand romantic comedies set in that city---that you don't have many gay men or friends.
AND that you have no ideas why gay men & straight women do share--at times--an intense bond??
And that you really don't seem to care.
"Do elaborate as long as your commentary doesn't get too creepy." Now that hurts :). I'll think about it...what is it you don't want me to say?
**Your story of Ronald Tackmann was quite entertaining; however, Kelly---probably not the best idea to send any similar stories or anything on that topic in general. If you just think for a minute, you will, I'm sure, understand why completely. Thanks!
[Ed.: I sent him an article about an artistic escapee. Ronald Tackmann has escaped in NY and is a savant. He is also an amazing artist, sculpting things out of toilet paper and using paint made from food in prison.]
Now to your second letter, a rare handwritten missive on one of your vintage cards: As I said before, I hope Ms. Knox has the personal & emotional reserves to handle what is to come. She has been totally trashed in the Italian media for several years now. Not sure if you heard the news that the black drifter's sentence was reduced on appeal almost in half-from 25 years to 14 years. This is apparently quite common within the Italian justice system. So--encouraging for the Knox family I am sure.
Not surprised you did not like "Revolutionary Road" the film. I'm starting to detect a pattern! The book by Richard Yates, written in 1961 , is now considered a classic of post-war ennui and how the rigid "Mad Men" society of the times discouraged differences and dreams.
Yes: that Don Draper vs. Tony Soprano companion deserves to be fleshed out in a much longer piece. You would be the perfect person to do it, too.
SEINFELD Reference: "Summer of George" episode: catfights - Raquel Welch, etc.
"Lake Bell is really unattractive and I find her to be highly annoying."
MEOW REEEARRR!!! Catfight! :)
I can probably guess what you think about Brittany Murphy's eyes...and probably the impressive (to me) young actresses Amber Tamblyn & Brittany Snow.
Do tell me about the Polish film, "REVERSE". Have not heard anything about it.
Glad to hear about your new client and possibly a second one as well. Has your business -- in general--weathered the worst of the downturn?
I think I mentioned seeing "No Country for Old Men" and "Gone Baby Gone." Both dark & bleak & brilliant. By now you know totally my kind of film.
However, I am quite eclectic. Also saw your actress Amy Adams in her brilliant performance in "Julie & Julia". I was actually thinking I would not like it, but hers and Meryl Streep's performance won me over.
I also learned a lot/as I know next to nothing about how Julia Childs came to be and her enormous impact on American cuisine & cooking.
Astonishing to find out that in 1949, there was no English language book of French cooking!
And for a pretty good cook & "foodie" like yourself, KK--I'm sure that film was like the product cooked up in "Breaking Bad..."
Must get this in the mail. Delay caused by no stamps/cash flow/c'est la vie...
Stay warm, Kelly---spring will get here...sometime. Take care of your lovely self and write soon.
Yours,
Michael
Dear Kelly,
Much to get to, and not as soon as I had hoped. Before your letters, two comments to make on one of your favorite fascinations:
>Not sure if you ever watch "HOUSE". I'm a latecomer to the show--the personal storylines are intriguing. The medical storylines a bit farfetched. The only reason I mention it is that on Mon 25 JAN the episode will involve the treatment of a female sociopath with pain of unknown origin. Apparently she completely charms the male staff, the females not so much. This letter will arrive too late for prior notice--but I know the show is available on-line for your viewing pleasure. If I see it, I will definitely let you know what I think.
>As you well know, the diagnosis or "degrees" of sociopathic personality/behavior can be subjective but the most obvious cases. I must tell you that female sociopaths, or females with sociopathic tendencies, can be absolutely fascinating people. And dangerous of course. Romantic and/or sexual involvement with them can be the ride of one's life, or worse. Again, it is subjective, but in the past I have been deeply involved with one woman who I am sure was a sociopath, and another who--if she wasn't--was damn close.
Should we ever be able to take our correspondence (I dare not say "relationship" or even "understanding"...) to the "next level", I am sure my recounting and our discussion of intense relationships would be most interesting and illuminating.
KK-You know that you keep a "therapeutic" distance---must like a therapist and patient---far more than anyone who has ever written to me...
And yes: since as we've already discussed I had some of those very traits/behaviors myself--I saw what they were and still could not resist... You do not allow discussion of details but I will tell you (no surprise) that women of that kind are extremely passionate and willing sexually, and know how to use their willingness to engage in all sex acts to further their own agendas... But again, it is their emotional & personal manipulations & uncanny abilities to persuade that you would find even more fascinating.
I know you said you have had dealings with such a person, but can' t discuss now. We can wait...
***
Must ask if you can send an article from "New York" magazine--one I know you either subscribe to or read regularly.
It's an article by John Heilemann in either (I think) they 11 JAN or 18 JAN issue of New York magazine.
It's an excerpt from the book he co-authored: GAME CHANGE about the 08 campaign - about the Edwards campaign. Thank you as always.
OK now to your letters:
Congrats on your contest win. Very succinct, very clever. You are a wordsmith- something I respect a lot.
Your complex life- despite your protestations to the contrary-never ceases to amaze me!
Miles to go---secrets to keep--stories to tell---before you sleep.... You have so many fans of your blog and have so much to look forward to, KK.
Thank you for the info about The Kindly Ones and Wetlands. Odd that they are both out in paperback on the same day, 31 JAN.
It really is interesting to me that as a straight woman who has lived in New York forever---who bears some similarities to the "New York" woman made famous and/or popularized, in "Sex and the City" and about a thousand romantic comedies set in that city---that you don't have many gay men or friends.
AND that you have no ideas why gay men & straight women do share--at times--an intense bond??
And that you really don't seem to care.
"Do elaborate as long as your commentary doesn't get too creepy." Now that hurts :). I'll think about it...what is it you don't want me to say?
**Your story of Ronald Tackmann was quite entertaining; however, Kelly---probably not the best idea to send any similar stories or anything on that topic in general. If you just think for a minute, you will, I'm sure, understand why completely. Thanks!
[Ed.: I sent him an article about an artistic escapee. Ronald Tackmann has escaped in NY and is a savant. He is also an amazing artist, sculpting things out of toilet paper and using paint made from food in prison.]
Now to your second letter, a rare handwritten missive on one of your vintage cards: As I said before, I hope Ms. Knox has the personal & emotional reserves to handle what is to come. She has been totally trashed in the Italian media for several years now. Not sure if you heard the news that the black drifter's sentence was reduced on appeal almost in half-from 25 years to 14 years. This is apparently quite common within the Italian justice system. So--encouraging for the Knox family I am sure.
Not surprised you did not like "Revolutionary Road" the film. I'm starting to detect a pattern! The book by Richard Yates, written in 1961 , is now considered a classic of post-war ennui and how the rigid "Mad Men" society of the times discouraged differences and dreams.
Yes: that Don Draper vs. Tony Soprano companion deserves to be fleshed out in a much longer piece. You would be the perfect person to do it, too.
SEINFELD Reference: "Summer of George" episode: catfights - Raquel Welch, etc.
"Lake Bell is really unattractive and I find her to be highly annoying."
MEOW REEEARRR!!! Catfight! :)
I can probably guess what you think about Brittany Murphy's eyes...and probably the impressive (to me) young actresses Amber Tamblyn & Brittany Snow.
Do tell me about the Polish film, "REVERSE". Have not heard anything about it.
Glad to hear about your new client and possibly a second one as well. Has your business -- in general--weathered the worst of the downturn?
I think I mentioned seeing "No Country for Old Men" and "Gone Baby Gone." Both dark & bleak & brilliant. By now you know totally my kind of film.
However, I am quite eclectic. Also saw your actress Amy Adams in her brilliant performance in "Julie & Julia". I was actually thinking I would not like it, but hers and Meryl Streep's performance won me over.
I also learned a lot/as I know next to nothing about how Julia Childs came to be and her enormous impact on American cuisine & cooking.
Astonishing to find out that in 1949, there was no English language book of French cooking!
And for a pretty good cook & "foodie" like yourself, KK--I'm sure that film was like the product cooked up in "Breaking Bad..."
Must get this in the mail. Delay caused by no stamps/cash flow/c'est la vie...
Stay warm, Kelly---spring will get here...sometime. Take care of your lovely self and write soon.
Yours,
Michael
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Letters from the Inside, Thomas Whitaker, #18
Dear Kelly,
Howdy. Just got your postcard from the Waldorf-Astoria, and I am concerned that you aren't getting my letters. You didn't make mention that you had received any from me lately, and were concerned that I was talking about you in my Dec blog posts. Not at all, Kelly, Not even close. You don't annoy me in the slightest. I have always enjoyed your letters and your way of thinking. You are a survivor, and I respect that...exactly the opposite of the people was referring to. Anyways, I am hoping that my last letter eventually will make it to you, as I went into this a bit. I really don't know how to explain what is going on with the mail room. Its like there are periods of loss, specifically aimed at certain people. I wrote Tracey for two years, without any problems. Maybe one or two lost letters, and then in Nov/Dec, virtually half got lost, and the other half was held for several seeks here in the mailroom. Now we seem back on he normal 10 day travel time. It's like they pick people each month to investigate, and somewhere in this office things are disappearing. I know you write other inmates. Have you ever experienced this in other states? Thanks for the article on Ronald Tackman and his escape. I had heard about this on the evening news, but it was fun to read the details. I can't believe Rikers Island is so porous. We do jails differently in Texas. Pity the guy who can't figure out what to do with himself after he makes it to Point B. That does seem to be the weak link in most escape plans.
I took my first PHIL 203 test last Friday. It was...well, philosophers are all a little nuts, so who know how I did. Six essay questions, and the attorney that gave it to me looked amused at the questions. I think I did good. Subjective grading schemes have always scared me a little, though. Especially when you are getting tested on something so subjective as the Sophists. Give me easily quantifiable stuff any day.
In case y last letter doesn't make it, I wanted to thank you for sending the PEN stuff. I am looking it over, and will probably submit something. Why not? It looks like a good program. I may edit my Polk County entries a bit and submit them as one piece.
What's new in NY? You mentioned that you had found a new client? Hopefully not another deadbeat. If, by chance you don't get m y last letter, do you have a copy of your letter which preceded it? I know you asked something about the law, and I wrote a little about how I taught myself, but I don't remember specifics. If you need for me to answer that again , please reprint out your questions I don't really know the best way to go about learning civil law. I pretty much learned by trial and error. I would listen to a few of the older guys, and then go request materials from the law library, in order to understand what they were talking about. Eventually, things started to mesh. Sort of like learning a new city: you first learn where the grocery store is. Then, the post office. You may not understand how these two places relate to the city at large, but you have a map of your house and the store and then your house and the post office, and how they relate. I'm still figuring stuff out, though. I am constantly hearing about this case or that case, and having to go look it up. It would be easier if I could actually GO to the law library, instead of requesting things, but that is not likely to change any time soon. There is really only one area of law that I would claim to be nearly an expert, and that is on 42 USC Section 1983, or civil rights cases for inmates. I think I have a handle on that, finally. I would best there are "Do-It-Yourself" websites out there for civil law. Like templates for various types of motions, where you just fill in the names and facts. Judges tend to be somewhat lenient with pro se applicants, so that work in your favor. If you do find such a site, let me know the address. I might like to check it out.
Well, I hope that this finds you well. Let me know if you are getting these. If not, you might consider trying the JPAY email system I mentioned on mb6 awhile back. It seems to be pretty well done. We don't always get everything within the guaranteed 48 hours, but I've only lost a few emails in a few months. Certainly a better record than regular mail. Until then, stay safe.
TBW
Howdy. Just got your postcard from the Waldorf-Astoria, and I am concerned that you aren't getting my letters. You didn't make mention that you had received any from me lately, and were concerned that I was talking about you in my Dec blog posts. Not at all, Kelly, Not even close. You don't annoy me in the slightest. I have always enjoyed your letters and your way of thinking. You are a survivor, and I respect that...exactly the opposite of the people was referring to. Anyways, I am hoping that my last letter eventually will make it to you, as I went into this a bit. I really don't know how to explain what is going on with the mail room. Its like there are periods of loss, specifically aimed at certain people. I wrote Tracey for two years, without any problems. Maybe one or two lost letters, and then in Nov/Dec, virtually half got lost, and the other half was held for several seeks here in the mailroom. Now we seem back on he normal 10 day travel time. It's like they pick people each month to investigate, and somewhere in this office things are disappearing. I know you write other inmates. Have you ever experienced this in other states? Thanks for the article on Ronald Tackman and his escape. I had heard about this on the evening news, but it was fun to read the details. I can't believe Rikers Island is so porous. We do jails differently in Texas. Pity the guy who can't figure out what to do with himself after he makes it to Point B. That does seem to be the weak link in most escape plans.
I took my first PHIL 203 test last Friday. It was...well, philosophers are all a little nuts, so who know how I did. Six essay questions, and the attorney that gave it to me looked amused at the questions. I think I did good. Subjective grading schemes have always scared me a little, though. Especially when you are getting tested on something so subjective as the Sophists. Give me easily quantifiable stuff any day.
In case y last letter doesn't make it, I wanted to thank you for sending the PEN stuff. I am looking it over, and will probably submit something. Why not? It looks like a good program. I may edit my Polk County entries a bit and submit them as one piece.
What's new in NY? You mentioned that you had found a new client? Hopefully not another deadbeat. If, by chance you don't get m y last letter, do you have a copy of your letter which preceded it? I know you asked something about the law, and I wrote a little about how I taught myself, but I don't remember specifics. If you need for me to answer that again , please reprint out your questions I don't really know the best way to go about learning civil law. I pretty much learned by trial and error. I would listen to a few of the older guys, and then go request materials from the law library, in order to understand what they were talking about. Eventually, things started to mesh. Sort of like learning a new city: you first learn where the grocery store is. Then, the post office. You may not understand how these two places relate to the city at large, but you have a map of your house and the store and then your house and the post office, and how they relate. I'm still figuring stuff out, though. I am constantly hearing about this case or that case, and having to go look it up. It would be easier if I could actually GO to the law library, instead of requesting things, but that is not likely to change any time soon. There is really only one area of law that I would claim to be nearly an expert, and that is on 42 USC Section 1983, or civil rights cases for inmates. I think I have a handle on that, finally. I would best there are "Do-It-Yourself" websites out there for civil law. Like templates for various types of motions, where you just fill in the names and facts. Judges tend to be somewhat lenient with pro se applicants, so that work in your favor. If you do find such a site, let me know the address. I might like to check it out.
Well, I hope that this finds you well. Let me know if you are getting these. If not, you might consider trying the JPAY email system I mentioned on mb6 awhile back. It seems to be pretty well done. We don't always get everything within the guaranteed 48 hours, but I've only lost a few emails in a few months. Certainly a better record than regular mail. Until then, stay safe.
TBW
Monday, January 25, 2010
Letters from the Inside, Sarah Pender, #26
Dear Kelly,
My God, I needed your humor today, Kel. Really, you are one of my only sources of humor in my life. It's like eating a super loaded baked potato after months of greasy fries. Refreshing and good. Your blogs are always entertaining.
[Ed.: I sent her the blog entries I wrote on my CL Rant and about people with bad eyebrows.]
You think you don't have the talent or grammar skills to be a writer. Well, first off, you have been a writer, so that logic doesn't work. You have talent. Maybe it stems from your neuroses, but you've got it. And you have better grammer than 70% of Americans. And that's what an editor is for or a copy edit service. Easy. So now you have no valid excuse not to write. You choose not to write. Own your choice, don't give reasons. Reasons are for people too small to be responsible for their lives.
You crack me up. You included your Rant and said, "I hope you are not offended by the harshness of it." Kelly, I am in prison on a case that involved two murders by my boyfriend, a former drug dealer. I fucked a guard and trafficked contraband in order to escape a max prison. I use "dyke" and "hooker" as terms of endearment for my friends. I have had sex in a public establishment. Perhaps I don't use "obscene" language regularly in our letters, but it certainly isn't because I don't know how to use them. No, honey. I am certainly not offended. And you can use whatever language you want in your letters. We get read and sometimes censored for dangerous topics, but most of our free speech rights are intact. Curse freely. Use cock, dick, cunt, fuck. It doesn't matter.
FUCK. It does a body good. :)
You are so fun.
And clearly, you know how to tell a man about himself. I only wish all jerks could get one of these BRUTALLY honest notes from the women they've affected, and really, we all need one of these now and then. Do a check--to get how we occur to other people. We dohnt' have to take it all and crumble into an emotional wreck at our inadequacies, ut it could provide solme helpful guidance net time one is looking to do a little self-improvement, or wondering why one is unhappy, single, underappreciated, underpaid, or underemployed.
For instance, there's thsi guy who worked at the prison who had been therel ike 15 years and hadn't been promoted. He could really use one of those letters. I've learned that there are a lot of people who go around totally oblivious to their own shortcomings or offensive behavior. I am convinced that 2 of his problems were--
1) His breath linger in your nostrils long after you discovered you got too close.
2) He had these perpetual boogers flapping out at you, clinging to his overgrown nose hairs.
I remember when he was trying to get laid by me or my friends. I would try to help him out. Sometimes I'd say, "Hey," and rub the tip of my giner along my nostril. He' d blow his nose, then rub the tissue over his nose. And they'd still be there! Or I hand him a piece of tissue and say, "Here. You need this." Eventually, I lost all tact. "John you've got a bat in the cave." or send him to hte bathroom to dig it all out.
I didn't have the heart to address his breath. I don't even know how to bring that one up.
It's easier to do when you're angry. Even then,I just tell my friends, but never the offending party. It seems mean, but I see how it could be very helpful.
Whatever. That was some good stuff. Thanks for sharing it with me. I'm passing it on to a friend who needs a laugh.
Yay! For you to have one, possibly, two new clients. Stress is lifting a little, huh? But God, maybe not with a $1600 /mo rent. Jesus Christ. What kind of money do New Yorkers make? A four bedroom house on the lake can be had for that sort of money out there. Sheesh.
You've been getting migraines and nosebleeds. Have you had your blood pressure checked? Those aren't usually assocated with joint alignment. Tha'ts a concern. And migraines are so paralyzing---I get them too. That sucks.
When people are giving you shit about your OCD, etc. or complain because it affects them, it's because they realy don't know what it is like, over there, being you. I have no clue what it is like to NOT BE ABLE to comfortably leave w/o a shower. I can easily throw my hair in a hat, brush my teeth, put on a running suit and walk to the 7-eleven for a paper and an orange juice.l NOt a problem. Now, going on a date--totally gotta shower. My friend Heather must shower 3-5 times a day. It drives me nutty sometimes, but only if she's holding the rest of us up, because it is one thing for her to be OCD, it's another when she's inconsiderate about it.
What I did was I got that she is compelled to shower repeatedly. Ok. So when we have dinner plans, I know i won't get pre-dinner company. She shows up right as I"m serving food. If it's a short notice, I plate her food , cover it, and we go on eating. She eats when she is done showering. This is not a problem. Anyone who complains about it is letting circumstances run them. I am much bigger than my circumstances of having a friend who is late or spend time in the shower. It could just as easliy be her times w/her kids. Who are we to judge?
I saw a show where it revealed that Howie Mandell has severe OCD.l It was sad. He's a germaphobe. It really affected his family. He even built a house out back where he goes when it gets to be too much. But the family just created new norms and didn't let it lower their quality of life. HOwie was great on the show. A real guy.
Be assured that even if you mess up on your motions to the court, there are provisions that say if a person goes pro se, that the court will overlook or help guide in cases where mistakes are made. MOTION TO DISMISS DUMBASS LAWSUIT.
You know, I was real upset at first from being isolated longer than my year of punishment, but I got over it. It's just circumstances. Fuck it. I'll mj ake the best of whatever comes my way. Will it be better in open population? In some way, yes. In some ways, no. I"ll be able to see a few friends who are real good women. Intelligent. Fun. Supportive. I"ll be able to eat better. Have contact visits. Walk around Get a job. Make phonecalls anytime I want. Do programs. Sing in a choir. But I"ll also be arond more noise and have a roommate who m ay ormay not be pleasant. In 10 years, I've had some undesireable people I've lived with. They don't last long. They either go to lock, get moved, or go home. Almost all the assholes are short-term sentences. It is more dangerous? I guess. Women's prison isn't dangerous like the movies. Women only fight their girlfriends or after an ongoing argument. I rarely argue. If I do, the other person usually apologizes to me, or at least leavesm e the fuck alone. I am not physically intimidating, but am very convincing. Arguing with me is like trying to argue with your psychiatrist. It gets sorted out very quickly.
I am an eyebrow spotter. I don't require or suggest anyone have perfectly shaped, plucked, streamlined eyebrows. But there should be some shape. A little arch. And clean up errant hairson the bridge of your nose, or the ones that creep up your temple. I actually saw a model in a Vanity Fair ad - I"ll find it and put it in here, that had awful brows. It unnerves me.
My favoriate part: Tiny yellow Post-its over the brows. Face Flair. That's really good stuff. All of it-great.
Thanks for the laugh.
I hope you are well. I always look forward to the latest news in your world. Fun!
Best wishes,
Sarah
My God, I needed your humor today, Kel. Really, you are one of my only sources of humor in my life. It's like eating a super loaded baked potato after months of greasy fries. Refreshing and good. Your blogs are always entertaining.
[Ed.: I sent her the blog entries I wrote on my CL Rant and about people with bad eyebrows.]
You think you don't have the talent or grammar skills to be a writer. Well, first off, you have been a writer, so that logic doesn't work. You have talent. Maybe it stems from your neuroses, but you've got it. And you have better grammer than 70% of Americans. And that's what an editor is for or a copy edit service. Easy. So now you have no valid excuse not to write. You choose not to write. Own your choice, don't give reasons. Reasons are for people too small to be responsible for their lives.
You crack me up. You included your Rant and said, "I hope you are not offended by the harshness of it." Kelly, I am in prison on a case that involved two murders by my boyfriend, a former drug dealer. I fucked a guard and trafficked contraband in order to escape a max prison. I use "dyke" and "hooker" as terms of endearment for my friends. I have had sex in a public establishment. Perhaps I don't use "obscene" language regularly in our letters, but it certainly isn't because I don't know how to use them. No, honey. I am certainly not offended. And you can use whatever language you want in your letters. We get read and sometimes censored for dangerous topics, but most of our free speech rights are intact. Curse freely. Use cock, dick, cunt, fuck. It doesn't matter.
FUCK. It does a body good. :)
You are so fun.
And clearly, you know how to tell a man about himself. I only wish all jerks could get one of these BRUTALLY honest notes from the women they've affected, and really, we all need one of these now and then. Do a check--to get how we occur to other people. We dohnt' have to take it all and crumble into an emotional wreck at our inadequacies, ut it could provide solme helpful guidance net time one is looking to do a little self-improvement, or wondering why one is unhappy, single, underappreciated, underpaid, or underemployed.
For instance, there's thsi guy who worked at the prison who had been therel ike 15 years and hadn't been promoted. He could really use one of those letters. I've learned that there are a lot of people who go around totally oblivious to their own shortcomings or offensive behavior. I am convinced that 2 of his problems were--
1) His breath linger in your nostrils long after you discovered you got too close.
2) He had these perpetual boogers flapping out at you, clinging to his overgrown nose hairs.
I remember when he was trying to get laid by me or my friends. I would try to help him out. Sometimes I'd say, "Hey," and rub the tip of my giner along my nostril. He' d blow his nose, then rub the tissue over his nose. And they'd still be there! Or I hand him a piece of tissue and say, "Here. You need this." Eventually, I lost all tact. "John you've got a bat in the cave." or send him to hte bathroom to dig it all out.
I didn't have the heart to address his breath. I don't even know how to bring that one up.
It's easier to do when you're angry. Even then,I just tell my friends, but never the offending party. It seems mean, but I see how it could be very helpful.
Whatever. That was some good stuff. Thanks for sharing it with me. I'm passing it on to a friend who needs a laugh.
Yay! For you to have one, possibly, two new clients. Stress is lifting a little, huh? But God, maybe not with a $1600 /mo rent. Jesus Christ. What kind of money do New Yorkers make? A four bedroom house on the lake can be had for that sort of money out there. Sheesh.
You've been getting migraines and nosebleeds. Have you had your blood pressure checked? Those aren't usually assocated with joint alignment. Tha'ts a concern. And migraines are so paralyzing---I get them too. That sucks.
When people are giving you shit about your OCD, etc. or complain because it affects them, it's because they realy don't know what it is like, over there, being you. I have no clue what it is like to NOT BE ABLE to comfortably leave w/o a shower. I can easily throw my hair in a hat, brush my teeth, put on a running suit and walk to the 7-eleven for a paper and an orange juice.l NOt a problem. Now, going on a date--totally gotta shower. My friend Heather must shower 3-5 times a day. It drives me nutty sometimes, but only if she's holding the rest of us up, because it is one thing for her to be OCD, it's another when she's inconsiderate about it.
What I did was I got that she is compelled to shower repeatedly. Ok. So when we have dinner plans, I know i won't get pre-dinner company. She shows up right as I"m serving food. If it's a short notice, I plate her food , cover it, and we go on eating. She eats when she is done showering. This is not a problem. Anyone who complains about it is letting circumstances run them. I am much bigger than my circumstances of having a friend who is late or spend time in the shower. It could just as easliy be her times w/her kids. Who are we to judge?
I saw a show where it revealed that Howie Mandell has severe OCD.l It was sad. He's a germaphobe. It really affected his family. He even built a house out back where he goes when it gets to be too much. But the family just created new norms and didn't let it lower their quality of life. HOwie was great on the show. A real guy.
Be assured that even if you mess up on your motions to the court, there are provisions that say if a person goes pro se, that the court will overlook or help guide in cases where mistakes are made. MOTION TO DISMISS DUMBASS LAWSUIT.
You know, I was real upset at first from being isolated longer than my year of punishment, but I got over it. It's just circumstances. Fuck it. I'll mj ake the best of whatever comes my way. Will it be better in open population? In some way, yes. In some ways, no. I"ll be able to see a few friends who are real good women. Intelligent. Fun. Supportive. I"ll be able to eat better. Have contact visits. Walk around Get a job. Make phonecalls anytime I want. Do programs. Sing in a choir. But I"ll also be arond more noise and have a roommate who m ay ormay not be pleasant. In 10 years, I've had some undesireable people I've lived with. They don't last long. They either go to lock, get moved, or go home. Almost all the assholes are short-term sentences. It is more dangerous? I guess. Women's prison isn't dangerous like the movies. Women only fight their girlfriends or after an ongoing argument. I rarely argue. If I do, the other person usually apologizes to me, or at least leavesm e the fuck alone. I am not physically intimidating, but am very convincing. Arguing with me is like trying to argue with your psychiatrist. It gets sorted out very quickly.
I am an eyebrow spotter. I don't require or suggest anyone have perfectly shaped, plucked, streamlined eyebrows. But there should be some shape. A little arch. And clean up errant hairson the bridge of your nose, or the ones that creep up your temple. I actually saw a model in a Vanity Fair ad - I"ll find it and put it in here, that had awful brows. It unnerves me.
My favoriate part: Tiny yellow Post-its over the brows. Face Flair. That's really good stuff. All of it-great.
Thanks for the laugh.
I hope you are well. I always look forward to the latest news in your world. Fun!
Best wishes,
Sarah
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Letters from the Inside, Justin Barber, #2
Hey Kelly,
I hope this letter finds you safe and well. Thanks for writing again, althugh I wasn't able to receive your last letter. I've enclosed a copy of the unathorized Mail Return Receipt pertaining to your letter. you shoudl receive a copy from the mail room and the rejected mail, but it could be a while. I decided to send you my copy so you'll know why I haven't responded to your letter and so you'll have the mail rules. Of course it's nice to hear my nail at mail call, and it's disappointing to only receive a rejection notice. It must be how Charlie Brown feels when Lucy snatchs the football away while he tries to kick it. [Ed.: I sent him a small snapshot taken of me on New Year's Eve so he could see what I look like. While photos are allowed, I happen to cut someone out of this one and then taped the small picture of me to the letter. I didn't realize that one is not allowed to tape anything to a letter.]
I'm well. it's been cold here lately with los in the teens (extreme cold for NW Florida). The weather has limited our time outside on the Recreation Yard and my running is suffering. The staff here have been using the time indoors to thoroughly and repeatedly shake the place down, searching for drugs and cell phones. Ironically, most drugs and phones are introduced to the facility by members of the staff. Calls to approved phone numbers are allowed via land line at roughly $2 per 15 minutes, but contraband cell phones are still an issue. Possessing a cell phone is a felony carrying up to 2 years, so it's serious business getting caught with one.
Having re-read the card you sent in December, I'm interested in what you mean by having recently privatized your blog. Do you mean the blog is a commercial endeavor available to paying customers or is it available only to select friends and acquaintances? And of course I'd like to receive stories from your blog. Or from anywhere else for that matter. Intellectual stimulation, well, any type of stimulation, really, is in short supply here.
I need to close. It's chow time. The DOC has eliminated virtually all meat protein from the menu and replaced it with TVP (texturized vegetable protein). From what I understand, it's derived from the oil component of soy beans and shipped in a dehydrated flake form. It's re-hydrated here and used as a meat substitute. TVP is basically the residue or waste/recovered part of the soy bean, or do I'm told. I do know it absolutely wreaks havoc on the digestive system. With 56 men living in a space roughly the size of 2 raquetball courts, TVP has not been well-received by the inmate population. You probably didn't need ot know that. I don't like to complain, but I'm 5'9" and 145lbs at last weigh-in and I'm starving to death. But when I think about it I'd be the last person to advocate prisoner rights. At least not if all the prisoners are actually guilty.
Take care,
Justin
I hope this letter finds you safe and well. Thanks for writing again, althugh I wasn't able to receive your last letter. I've enclosed a copy of the unathorized Mail Return Receipt pertaining to your letter. you shoudl receive a copy from the mail room and the rejected mail, but it could be a while. I decided to send you my copy so you'll know why I haven't responded to your letter and so you'll have the mail rules. Of course it's nice to hear my nail at mail call, and it's disappointing to only receive a rejection notice. It must be how Charlie Brown feels when Lucy snatchs the football away while he tries to kick it. [Ed.: I sent him a small snapshot taken of me on New Year's Eve so he could see what I look like. While photos are allowed, I happen to cut someone out of this one and then taped the small picture of me to the letter. I didn't realize that one is not allowed to tape anything to a letter.]
I'm well. it's been cold here lately with los in the teens (extreme cold for NW Florida). The weather has limited our time outside on the Recreation Yard and my running is suffering. The staff here have been using the time indoors to thoroughly and repeatedly shake the place down, searching for drugs and cell phones. Ironically, most drugs and phones are introduced to the facility by members of the staff. Calls to approved phone numbers are allowed via land line at roughly $2 per 15 minutes, but contraband cell phones are still an issue. Possessing a cell phone is a felony carrying up to 2 years, so it's serious business getting caught with one.
Having re-read the card you sent in December, I'm interested in what you mean by having recently privatized your blog. Do you mean the blog is a commercial endeavor available to paying customers or is it available only to select friends and acquaintances? And of course I'd like to receive stories from your blog. Or from anywhere else for that matter. Intellectual stimulation, well, any type of stimulation, really, is in short supply here.
I need to close. It's chow time. The DOC has eliminated virtually all meat protein from the menu and replaced it with TVP (texturized vegetable protein). From what I understand, it's derived from the oil component of soy beans and shipped in a dehydrated flake form. It's re-hydrated here and used as a meat substitute. TVP is basically the residue or waste/recovered part of the soy bean, or do I'm told. I do know it absolutely wreaks havoc on the digestive system. With 56 men living in a space roughly the size of 2 raquetball courts, TVP has not been well-received by the inmate population. You probably didn't need ot know that. I don't like to complain, but I'm 5'9" and 145lbs at last weigh-in and I'm starving to death. But when I think about it I'd be the last person to advocate prisoner rights. At least not if all the prisoners are actually guilty.
Take care,
Justin
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Letters from the Inside, Sarah Pender, #25
Dear Kelly,
I read the article you sent me on prison programs and the insert on PEN Prison Writing Program. The article is right up my alley! Those are programs I've been working on developing for here. It was inspiring. You always pick great articles to send. The other article on the escapee guy, I could not have. They took it out of the envelope. Apparently, it is inappropriate content for me to receive. (I feel like I am ten years sold sometimes). They censor guns and knives magazines, anything racist, anarchist, escape-related, all nudity (like we don't know what naked people look like), etc. I think because it had illustrations and specifics about his escape was the issue. I'd like to know the reason you found him fascinating. I saw from your post-card that he is an artist.
I actually heard of the PEN writing contest. I ordered the handbook last year but the entries had to be in by September. I'd like to get involved with a mentor and write a piece, but honestly, I dont' think I am good enough. There was another contest back in October I could have entered, but didn't because I dont' know what to write about. I don't find my own life interesting enough that other people really want to read about it, which sounds stupid because I am writing a book, but I know people are interested in this because they've proved it.
I can write some kick ass stuff with just a tiny bit of guidance. LIke, if it's for a creative writing class, I did great. But pulling it out of my ass seems hard. Do you have any suggestions? What should I write about?
Where do you get all these ancient postcards? [Ed.: I collect vintage cards and postcards and use them to write to prisoners.]
I worte some pretty good stuff when I was in Creative Writing 401 my senior year, just a few years ago. I always got top scores, but figured the bar was set pretty low being in prison. I judge myself against established writer, people who studied to be writers, who've become the best. Such a dumb thing to do, I suppose. That's no way to set myself up for success.
Perhaps I will write a short non-fiction piece on my experience in solitary confinement--with all the nutty-ass characters I've encountered over the post years, as well as the tragic environment. It borders on absurd.
Or a short fiction piece--perhaps a children's story. I once wrote a scene of a play based on my freshman year at Purdue, integrating a buddy of mine who is a Satanist rocker chic who carries a rabbit's skull for good luck and wears puppies and kittens flannel pajamas. She's a riot.
How are you doing? I miss reading your blogs. You write the funniest shit, Kelly. You should definitely start your book.
In other news...I have none. Just more of being locked in a fucking room.
My mom met with the guy who is writing a book about me to sell him photos of me growing up. That's a strange feeling. someone buying snapshots of my life. Creepy! For all to see. I dind't even get to pick them. Oh well. Anyway, I gues there' s a couple with my ex-boyfriend, David, like prom and stuff, and I think he should have a say in if his photo is blasted across the nation. So it's given me a reason to contact him again, after nearly 9 years. This pleases me. I love the crap out of this man, even though I was the one who broke it off with him and it was him who chased me. We fell apart for a few reasons, but ultimately, he is a fantastic guy. A guy I should've stayed with. He would have never killed anyone, and if he did, he has the balls to own up to it. Sorry, I digress. This is someone I was with from age 17-20. We were a constant in a world of change. If I had to pick one man to spend eternity with, it would be him. He isn't rich or have model looks, but he is capable, honest, loving and is good in bed. Anyway, it will be nice to talk to him again. Something I am looking forward to doing.
After I left him, I stumbled from one bad affair to the next. They were so bad, I could write a short story about them. Honestly, I wonder if PEN Writing would disqualify the story if it included a tiny-dick story?
I hope you are well and finding some good luck and opportunities. You deserve them.
Best--
Sarah
P.S. Can you send me the topics for the next 6 months of Readers Write from The Sun?
I read the article you sent me on prison programs and the insert on PEN Prison Writing Program. The article is right up my alley! Those are programs I've been working on developing for here. It was inspiring. You always pick great articles to send. The other article on the escapee guy, I could not have. They took it out of the envelope. Apparently, it is inappropriate content for me to receive. (I feel like I am ten years sold sometimes). They censor guns and knives magazines, anything racist, anarchist, escape-related, all nudity (like we don't know what naked people look like), etc. I think because it had illustrations and specifics about his escape was the issue. I'd like to know the reason you found him fascinating. I saw from your post-card that he is an artist.
I actually heard of the PEN writing contest. I ordered the handbook last year but the entries had to be in by September. I'd like to get involved with a mentor and write a piece, but honestly, I dont' think I am good enough. There was another contest back in October I could have entered, but didn't because I dont' know what to write about. I don't find my own life interesting enough that other people really want to read about it, which sounds stupid because I am writing a book, but I know people are interested in this because they've proved it.
I can write some kick ass stuff with just a tiny bit of guidance. LIke, if it's for a creative writing class, I did great. But pulling it out of my ass seems hard. Do you have any suggestions? What should I write about?
Where do you get all these ancient postcards? [Ed.: I collect vintage cards and postcards and use them to write to prisoners.]
I worte some pretty good stuff when I was in Creative Writing 401 my senior year, just a few years ago. I always got top scores, but figured the bar was set pretty low being in prison. I judge myself against established writer, people who studied to be writers, who've become the best. Such a dumb thing to do, I suppose. That's no way to set myself up for success.
Perhaps I will write a short non-fiction piece on my experience in solitary confinement--with all the nutty-ass characters I've encountered over the post years, as well as the tragic environment. It borders on absurd.
Or a short fiction piece--perhaps a children's story. I once wrote a scene of a play based on my freshman year at Purdue, integrating a buddy of mine who is a Satanist rocker chic who carries a rabbit's skull for good luck and wears puppies and kittens flannel pajamas. She's a riot.
How are you doing? I miss reading your blogs. You write the funniest shit, Kelly. You should definitely start your book.
In other news...I have none. Just more of being locked in a fucking room.
My mom met with the guy who is writing a book about me to sell him photos of me growing up. That's a strange feeling. someone buying snapshots of my life. Creepy! For all to see. I dind't even get to pick them. Oh well. Anyway, I gues there' s a couple with my ex-boyfriend, David, like prom and stuff, and I think he should have a say in if his photo is blasted across the nation. So it's given me a reason to contact him again, after nearly 9 years. This pleases me. I love the crap out of this man, even though I was the one who broke it off with him and it was him who chased me. We fell apart for a few reasons, but ultimately, he is a fantastic guy. A guy I should've stayed with. He would have never killed anyone, and if he did, he has the balls to own up to it. Sorry, I digress. This is someone I was with from age 17-20. We were a constant in a world of change. If I had to pick one man to spend eternity with, it would be him. He isn't rich or have model looks, but he is capable, honest, loving and is good in bed. Anyway, it will be nice to talk to him again. Something I am looking forward to doing.
After I left him, I stumbled from one bad affair to the next. They were so bad, I could write a short story about them. Honestly, I wonder if PEN Writing would disqualify the story if it included a tiny-dick story?
I hope you are well and finding some good luck and opportunities. You deserve them.
Best--
Sarah
P.S. Can you send me the topics for the next 6 months of Readers Write from The Sun?
Monday, January 18, 2010
Letters from the Inside, Chris Porco, #5
Dear Kelly,
How are you? As usual I have let a few weeks go by without even realizing it. It is hard to believe and a little depressing that in 20 days or so I will have been here 3 years...
I hope you had a good holiday. I'm sorry to hear about Tokyo. I gotta tell you it is sweet justice to have a wife beater's police blotter come up on Google though. Can't be good for him if he tries to get a job. It would have been easier for her to just tell him what she did, and not pawn off responsibility. I dont' know much about tort law, but I do nknow if you are not in small claims court, which you aren't if he is suing for 4 million, you really need to at least consult a lawyer. Don't you have a friend or two that can advise you? Like you said, the legal system is extraordinarily complicated. What is he suing you for specifically. From the circumstances, I would be surprised if what was done to him was actionable. His arrest and the publication of it were public record, all that was done was it being publicized. Serves him right for being a dirtbag anyway. Did he sue you in federal or state court?
I am still waiting for a decision in my case. We are expecting it anytime, but more likely later in the month. I feel like at this point I am just floating along through each day. It is hard for me to focus on things, which isn't normal for me. I don't usually get worked up about much, but this shit has me all scrambled up. From my point of view the whole waiting thing isn't necessary, they have already made a decision but they are taking their sweet time in letting us all know. A quick phone call saying, "Come on home," or "See you in 46 years," would be a nice courtesy.
I remember you asking about Fireman Pete [Ed.: Porco is housed in the same facility as gruesome Peter Braunstein. ] I swear I told you about him in a past letter. Maybe you didn't get one? Anyway, he's here, and basically crazy. Not legit crazy, but just kind of twisted. He loves to do interviews and freak out the reporters with the insane things he says, a couple of months ago he did one, and before told people he was going to say all this stuff about being obsessed with "Gossip Girl," and other odd things like that. No one believed he would do it, but sure enough, he did. I don't know a clinical diagnosis or anything but I think he just enjoys manipulating people and getting attention. When he attacked that woman, it wasn't a sexual thing, he wanted to wreck her emotionally. If you just talk to him casually he is odd but nice enough. I have only talked to him a few times, mostly in passing. He says he is going to kill himself before too long, but I don't buy it, he loves being in the papers too much.
New Years was what you might expect. Maybe a little louder than usual, and guys tend to light things on fire and throw them off the upper tiers. The cops don't even do their rounds on New Years because people throw stuff at them. People break out the hooch and weed too, so it's just like Time Square; no kiss at midnight though. (Thankfully.)
Prison has made material things somewhat less important, so for Christmas all I asked for was some Starbuck's coffee. I got like 15 lbs, and I am loving it. I love the French Roast and cafe verona, and the Christmas blend. I have a coffee maker in my cell, one of the rarest kinds of contraband, and I have a 3 cup per day habit. I guess if I am going to be addicted to something, coffee isn't all that bad.
Did that guy really drink ensure? Or was it some other supplement shake drink? I only ask because Ensure is crap, but there is stuff out there sorta like it that can be good to get calorie and protein numbers up. I agree though, no self respecting man drinks Ensure. Why'd you break up with the current guy? You hadn't been dating all that long had you? It has been three and a half years since I was alone with a girl, how's that for a drought?
My brother has been dating the same girl for 5 years now and is currently trying to decide if he wants to break it off or propose. I don't see him marrying this girl, she is nice but honestly not all that attractive. She is third year med school, and doesn't take great care of herself either. Three years ago he asked me how he could get her to lose weight, and at that point I didn't see it lasting very long. But she is his first girlfriend, and it si not easy to let go of that. He's going to be 29 in March, sort of a late bloomer in the girl dept. They are total opposites too, she is gregarious to the point of being annoying, he is the most reserved person you will ever meet. Opposites attract I guess, at l east for a little while. Sometimes I feel like I don't even know him, even though we were always close. I haven't talked to him directly in a long time, hopefully that will change soon. He doesn't think I am guilty or anything, but has issus with some of the stuff I did years before he found out about because of all this. Combine that with his personality, and total inability to even being to deal with what happened 5 years ago, and he is just closed off. He is gradually opening up more, so I know things will be alright between us, it will just take time. He has done some prickish stuff to me too, so we both have things to work through. Starting that dialogue can be tough though. Do you have siblings?
Alright, it is getting late, so I am going to shut this thing off before people start bitching. I hope you are well and lawsuit free. (I am thinking maybe you got a dismissal, or they had a change of heart?) Anyway, take care, next time I write, maybe I will have some good news.
Goodnight!
Chris
How are you? As usual I have let a few weeks go by without even realizing it. It is hard to believe and a little depressing that in 20 days or so I will have been here 3 years...
I hope you had a good holiday. I'm sorry to hear about Tokyo. I gotta tell you it is sweet justice to have a wife beater's police blotter come up on Google though. Can't be good for him if he tries to get a job. It would have been easier for her to just tell him what she did, and not pawn off responsibility. I dont' know much about tort law, but I do nknow if you are not in small claims court, which you aren't if he is suing for 4 million, you really need to at least consult a lawyer. Don't you have a friend or two that can advise you? Like you said, the legal system is extraordinarily complicated. What is he suing you for specifically. From the circumstances, I would be surprised if what was done to him was actionable. His arrest and the publication of it were public record, all that was done was it being publicized. Serves him right for being a dirtbag anyway. Did he sue you in federal or state court?
I am still waiting for a decision in my case. We are expecting it anytime, but more likely later in the month. I feel like at this point I am just floating along through each day. It is hard for me to focus on things, which isn't normal for me. I don't usually get worked up about much, but this shit has me all scrambled up. From my point of view the whole waiting thing isn't necessary, they have already made a decision but they are taking their sweet time in letting us all know. A quick phone call saying, "Come on home," or "See you in 46 years," would be a nice courtesy.
I remember you asking about Fireman Pete [Ed.: Porco is housed in the same facility as gruesome Peter Braunstein. ] I swear I told you about him in a past letter. Maybe you didn't get one? Anyway, he's here, and basically crazy. Not legit crazy, but just kind of twisted. He loves to do interviews and freak out the reporters with the insane things he says, a couple of months ago he did one, and before told people he was going to say all this stuff about being obsessed with "Gossip Girl," and other odd things like that. No one believed he would do it, but sure enough, he did. I don't know a clinical diagnosis or anything but I think he just enjoys manipulating people and getting attention. When he attacked that woman, it wasn't a sexual thing, he wanted to wreck her emotionally. If you just talk to him casually he is odd but nice enough. I have only talked to him a few times, mostly in passing. He says he is going to kill himself before too long, but I don't buy it, he loves being in the papers too much.
New Years was what you might expect. Maybe a little louder than usual, and guys tend to light things on fire and throw them off the upper tiers. The cops don't even do their rounds on New Years because people throw stuff at them. People break out the hooch and weed too, so it's just like Time Square; no kiss at midnight though. (Thankfully.)
Prison has made material things somewhat less important, so for Christmas all I asked for was some Starbuck's coffee. I got like 15 lbs, and I am loving it. I love the French Roast and cafe verona, and the Christmas blend. I have a coffee maker in my cell, one of the rarest kinds of contraband, and I have a 3 cup per day habit. I guess if I am going to be addicted to something, coffee isn't all that bad.
Did that guy really drink ensure? Or was it some other supplement shake drink? I only ask because Ensure is crap, but there is stuff out there sorta like it that can be good to get calorie and protein numbers up. I agree though, no self respecting man drinks Ensure. Why'd you break up with the current guy? You hadn't been dating all that long had you? It has been three and a half years since I was alone with a girl, how's that for a drought?
My brother has been dating the same girl for 5 years now and is currently trying to decide if he wants to break it off or propose. I don't see him marrying this girl, she is nice but honestly not all that attractive. She is third year med school, and doesn't take great care of herself either. Three years ago he asked me how he could get her to lose weight, and at that point I didn't see it lasting very long. But she is his first girlfriend, and it si not easy to let go of that. He's going to be 29 in March, sort of a late bloomer in the girl dept. They are total opposites too, she is gregarious to the point of being annoying, he is the most reserved person you will ever meet. Opposites attract I guess, at l east for a little while. Sometimes I feel like I don't even know him, even though we were always close. I haven't talked to him directly in a long time, hopefully that will change soon. He doesn't think I am guilty or anything, but has issus with some of the stuff I did years before he found out about because of all this. Combine that with his personality, and total inability to even being to deal with what happened 5 years ago, and he is just closed off. He is gradually opening up more, so I know things will be alright between us, it will just take time. He has done some prickish stuff to me too, so we both have things to work through. Starting that dialogue can be tough though. Do you have siblings?
Alright, it is getting late, so I am going to shut this thing off before people start bitching. I hope you are well and lawsuit free. (I am thinking maybe you got a dismissal, or they had a change of heart?) Anyway, take care, next time I write, maybe I will have some good news.
Goodnight!
Chris
