Saturday, August 29, 2009
Letters from the Inside, Michael Swango, #43
I am not transcribing this letter here because it is relatively short and pretty much is just a quick accompaniment to the articles he has clipped and sent me. There is nothing noteworthy in this one.
Friday, August 28, 2009
Letters from the Inside, Michael Swango, #42
[Ed.: I am now omitting things in his letters that are mundane, like excessive talk of movies or tv when in no greater context.]
Dear KK---
Ahhh...the lives and loves of of Kelly K!!! Who says "it" can't happen, with your Story Slam/guy/major crush? Maybe it can't happen TODAY, but let's look at the evidence you presented:
>Common interest. Story Slam
>Mary LIKES Billy! "major crush"
>He says he has "fallen for Mary"
>You two live a few blocks away--always good for late night interaction...
KK: I did see the romantic comedy "He's Just Not That Into You" At times very clever with some good scenes. Your situation brings it to mind.
>AND you & he are doing all the requisite electronic communicating...
Hey, I've been "out of the game" for a while, but even I know as a man that this guy is not living with his soulmate at the present time.
It can happen--probably will happen with patience--just not now...
I've got no dog in this fight but I do know you are brilliant, funny, lovely, very sexy, and more. Your my dear, are a catch, period. Like I said, wish I had met you around 1993...C'est la vie...
Unfortunately so many men are dogs/and you've been burned like everyone else...But it will happen, Kelly. I'm sure of it.
However, one place we would not have gone is a gourmet Mexican restaurant---where you were last Saturday. Unless they served other entrees! Almost any other restaurant...
You are a true gourmand & gourmet cook.
VERY much hope you are not getting another upper resp. infection or flu. The word still is they expect swine flu & seasonal flu to hit hard beginning in a week or so when everyone is back at school & work.
Your blog "Such an Odd Coincidence" was interesting on many levels--to me the idea that the same event can be seen and/or experienced so differently by two people, in this case yourself and Alan Streets.
And as usual, it made me think--as most everything you write does...in this case about the subject of coincidences and the "Laws of Large Numbers", a truly fascinating mathematical concept integral to game theory. Writing to you and receiving your letters is a true education.
You take care--stay healthy--and hope to receive your next letter very soon.
Yours,
Michael
Dear KK---
Ahhh...the lives and loves of of Kelly K!!! Who says "it" can't happen, with your Story Slam/guy/major crush? Maybe it can't happen TODAY, but let's look at the evidence you presented:
>Common interest. Story Slam
>Mary LIKES Billy! "major crush"
>He says he has "fallen for Mary"
>You two live a few blocks away--always good for late night interaction...
KK: I did see the romantic comedy "He's Just Not That Into You" At times very clever with some good scenes. Your situation brings it to mind.
>AND you & he are doing all the requisite electronic communicating...
Hey, I've been "out of the game" for a while, but even I know as a man that this guy is not living with his soulmate at the present time.
It can happen--probably will happen with patience--just not now...
I've got no dog in this fight but I do know you are brilliant, funny, lovely, very sexy, and more. Your my dear, are a catch, period. Like I said, wish I had met you around 1993...C'est la vie...
Unfortunately so many men are dogs/and you've been burned like everyone else...But it will happen, Kelly. I'm sure of it.
However, one place we would not have gone is a gourmet Mexican restaurant---where you were last Saturday. Unless they served other entrees! Almost any other restaurant...
You are a true gourmand & gourmet cook.
VERY much hope you are not getting another upper resp. infection or flu. The word still is they expect swine flu & seasonal flu to hit hard beginning in a week or so when everyone is back at school & work.
Your blog "Such an Odd Coincidence" was interesting on many levels--to me the idea that the same event can be seen and/or experienced so differently by two people, in this case yourself and Alan Streets.
And as usual, it made me think--as most everything you write does...in this case about the subject of coincidences and the "Laws of Large Numbers", a truly fascinating mathematical concept integral to game theory. Writing to you and receiving your letters is a true education.
You take care--stay healthy--and hope to receive your next letter very soon.
Yours,
Michael
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Letters from the Inside, Michael Swango, #41
Dear KK---
I learn more about the nitty-gritty of life in New York City by reading your blogs...Part 2 of my letter in response to yours/now getting to your most interesting enclosures:
>"A Moving Day" was your scintillating writing [don't stop pursuing a book proposal/deal: I will say it again: What & how you write is perfect for a collection of essays a la Chelsea Handler; or the true original Isaac Asimov* ] at its best. First of all, it is a Kelly K "origin story" telling me how you came to live in your present digs. Thanks for that. Second-it reinforces a true stereotype of urban living--the person who is born and dies in the same apartment or home. It also says something poignant about the peculiar relationship of neighbors in urbanized society.
Best lines: "I threw his gym bag out the window four stories down. Surely not my most shining moment but at least I didn't stab him in the balls like I wanted to. I also left him with two working eyes. Total success."
KK: Why do women always want to mutilate men for life? Don't they know that no man is worth that? Lorena Bobbitt redux. Kelly-Clearly I understand that your blog exaggerates emotions at time to make your point...Right?!! ;-)
>The blog entry re the "incident" at Starbucks is remarkable for the intelligence of the two police officers who called off the dogs of paranoia and found a BAG OF EFFING CLOTHES!
>Despite all the media frenzy over the "Miracle on the Hudson", there were a few more details in the story you sent me.
>The cybercrime "avatar murder" story was most interesting. A couple of season ago "Law & Order" had a story about an avatar murder followed by the murder of an actual person... SVU has had the rape of an avatar... And though I didn't see it, one of the "CSIs" did an entire show essentially trying to solve a case by infiltrating a SIMS-like world with a detective avatar undercover.
Hope to hear from you again soon. Thinking of you and hoping you stay well and tan!
Yours,
Michael
*Known mostly for his prolific science-fiction output, the late Mr. Asimov also published several books each containing 17 essays on absolutely fascinating scientific topics. With your ravenously curious mind, you would love them.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Letters from the Inside, Thomas Bart Whitaker, #13
Dear Kelly,
Howdy. I think thi sone is going to be just for us today, ok? I am feeling like there might be a rant incoming at some point, and I'd rather not have that publicized. How are you? I hope this finds you well. I've had a rather annoying week, and its only Monday afternoon. Not a good sign. Anyways, yes, the prison authorities know about mb6. I have had my typewriter broken, been hit by a shakedown crew with teh same frequency as major confirmed gang members, and had many officers threaten me for what I have written there. (I don't actually think I have ever written anything too damning, but whatever.) I would say that none of them like the fact that for the first time in history, we prisoners have an easily accessible means of parting the curtain for the world to see in. They don't want that. Nobody who wields power arbitrarily wants oversight. Rule of the universe: If someone resists having their work inspected, it means they aren't doing something right. I certainly wasn't showing the site off, but word went around pretty quickly, I guess. Not much they can do about it, thanks to that pesky little thing called the First Amendment.
I am highly annoyed by the circus that I stirred up by posting my stupid psych report. I had hoped that people would find themselves horrified that a state cuold seek and acquire a sentence of death without having ever completed such a review. But nooo! People simply want to gossip. Fucking pathetic. I really do not understand the fear in this country over the issue of gay marrage. WHO FUCKING CARES what someone does in the privacy of their own lives? Are we really so desperate for attention that we have to go around gtting into each others business like this? I think most of this is due to the slow, inevitable death of christianity in this nation. The ignorant masses of the faithful see people unafraid of Yahweh, and they feel slighted, and maybe just a little concerned that all of these people living free of the tyranny of the OT might be right. I wish we could just send them all to Alabama or something and let them in-breed and praise Jeee-suuuus!!! to their hearts content. Sexuality is so much more complicated than the masses think, anyways. I am capable of having a very intense intellectual relationship based on respect and learning with a fay man without suddenly wanting to drag him to bed. I am sexually attracted to women, and that is not going to change just because I work with or associate with people who choose differently. God help you if you say such things in Tejas, though. I once hired a few gay men and women when I was the manager of a restaurant. Even some of my fellow managers wondered about me after that, until they saw that these four people were easily the best staff we had.
No, they don't allow us sleep aids. Not things like Ambien, at any rate. They would be more than happy to put me on Haldol, Prolixin, and/or Thorazine, which would, technically, make me sleep but I'd rather not be a zombie, if its all the same with you. We don't have a staff psychologist, but there is som echick with a masters, I think. Not that she gives a rats ass about us, or even comes around except once every 90 days to ask if we are suicidal. Not--again--because she cares, but to iliminate liability by having the staff take away all your property if you are foolish enough to say "yes." I guess their thinking is that if you dn't have any sheets, you can't hang yourself, and if you don't have any food, you can't...uh...chose yourself to death, or something. It doesn't have to make sense. This is Texas.
The lady who posts stuff to the blog is a friend from north of Sydney, Austalia. Her name is Tracey. Very nice, cool, lady. Very efficient, which is what I was missing before she came on the scene. She just stumbled across the blog, and a monster was born. Muwaha! That was supposed to be evil laughter, by the way. Anyways, she has really gotten involved in the abolition movement, which is pretty rewarding to see. It's nice to think that at least one person has had their consciousness raised by little old me.
Do I have "crushes"? Um, not so much, no. I don't think I'm really the crush type. That said, you don't hand in your manhood when you get locked up. I've had marriage proposals. I've had a stalker or two. I have even met a few girls that I would seriously be interested in, had i met them under different circumstances. I am a realist, though. I dont' know that I am really wried to fall in love from this place. I just...need more than letters and the occassional visit. What could I really offer anyone, you know? I"m broke, so I can't do all the stuff that was normal for me in the freeworld, like surprise dinner dates or a weekend trip to Austin or San Antonio. I can't even promise that I will be here in a few years. Why would I drag someone that I care about down with me? No, I dnt' think I would say a word if I fell in love with someone. Maybe I'm wrong on this. A lot of my neighbors have married during their time here. They seem to enjoy the situation. Secretly, I think they do it so that they have some money coming in each moth, but whatever. That is another thing I couldn't do...I hate living like a welfare case. I'd rather go hungry than to beg.
Hey congratulations for winning the story slam! That had to feel pretty good. You are an interesting lady and certainly have some good stories, so I am sure you will do fine in Oct. at the GrandSlam deal.
I got a chuckle from the "rug breathing" acid story. I haven't dropped acid since high school. Actually, I have a story about that...in my calculus class, there were 5tests, including the final. I had an A going itno the finale so it really dind't matter how I did, so me and some of my idiot friends did acid before school. By the time I go sit for the exam, the floor had turned into water and I'm falling all over myself trying to figureout how to walk like Jesus. A friend later told me that the whole class knew how messed up I was, but I think I pulled it off. Anyways, I love/loved calculus. Which isthe only way I can explain to you what happened: I scored a fucking 98 on my final. I swear to you I was seeing equations in my head. I probably couldn't have done that well sober. Later, I attracked the red light in the photo dark room, which ended a perfectly awesome day at school.
I've heard of Brighton Beach, and about how it is a predominantly Russian enclave. Where is it, compared to some other landmarks I might recognize? I liked the story of finding the bag of booze, though kind of sad how even such a happy day can fade away some quickly. I'm glad I don't have any old photos of past friends. Don't think I could bear to look at them. I guess I'm am about as far from a pack rat as possible. I don't keep much around...a minimallist, I guess. Or maybe I just prefer to live in the now, than in a million moments where I should have acted differently.
Thanks for sending the stamps, by the way, Nice to not have to worry about that so much. Let me know how you are doing. Did you ever get your money from that deadbeat? I hope so.
Be safe, Kelly.
T
Howdy. I think thi sone is going to be just for us today, ok? I am feeling like there might be a rant incoming at some point, and I'd rather not have that publicized. How are you? I hope this finds you well. I've had a rather annoying week, and its only Monday afternoon. Not a good sign. Anyways, yes, the prison authorities know about mb6. I have had my typewriter broken, been hit by a shakedown crew with teh same frequency as major confirmed gang members, and had many officers threaten me for what I have written there. (I don't actually think I have ever written anything too damning, but whatever.) I would say that none of them like the fact that for the first time in history, we prisoners have an easily accessible means of parting the curtain for the world to see in. They don't want that. Nobody who wields power arbitrarily wants oversight. Rule of the universe: If someone resists having their work inspected, it means they aren't doing something right. I certainly wasn't showing the site off, but word went around pretty quickly, I guess. Not much they can do about it, thanks to that pesky little thing called the First Amendment.
I am highly annoyed by the circus that I stirred up by posting my stupid psych report. I had hoped that people would find themselves horrified that a state cuold seek and acquire a sentence of death without having ever completed such a review. But nooo! People simply want to gossip. Fucking pathetic. I really do not understand the fear in this country over the issue of gay marrage. WHO FUCKING CARES what someone does in the privacy of their own lives? Are we really so desperate for attention that we have to go around gtting into each others business like this? I think most of this is due to the slow, inevitable death of christianity in this nation. The ignorant masses of the faithful see people unafraid of Yahweh, and they feel slighted, and maybe just a little concerned that all of these people living free of the tyranny of the OT might be right. I wish we could just send them all to Alabama or something and let them in-breed and praise Jeee-suuuus!!! to their hearts content. Sexuality is so much more complicated than the masses think, anyways. I am capable of having a very intense intellectual relationship based on respect and learning with a fay man without suddenly wanting to drag him to bed. I am sexually attracted to women, and that is not going to change just because I work with or associate with people who choose differently. God help you if you say such things in Tejas, though. I once hired a few gay men and women when I was the manager of a restaurant. Even some of my fellow managers wondered about me after that, until they saw that these four people were easily the best staff we had.
No, they don't allow us sleep aids. Not things like Ambien, at any rate. They would be more than happy to put me on Haldol, Prolixin, and/or Thorazine, which would, technically, make me sleep but I'd rather not be a zombie, if its all the same with you. We don't have a staff psychologist, but there is som echick with a masters, I think. Not that she gives a rats ass about us, or even comes around except once every 90 days to ask if we are suicidal. Not--again--because she cares, but to iliminate liability by having the staff take away all your property if you are foolish enough to say "yes." I guess their thinking is that if you dn't have any sheets, you can't hang yourself, and if you don't have any food, you can't...uh...chose yourself to death, or something. It doesn't have to make sense. This is Texas.
The lady who posts stuff to the blog is a friend from north of Sydney, Austalia. Her name is Tracey. Very nice, cool, lady. Very efficient, which is what I was missing before she came on the scene. She just stumbled across the blog, and a monster was born. Muwaha! That was supposed to be evil laughter, by the way. Anyways, she has really gotten involved in the abolition movement, which is pretty rewarding to see. It's nice to think that at least one person has had their consciousness raised by little old me.
Do I have "crushes"? Um, not so much, no. I don't think I'm really the crush type. That said, you don't hand in your manhood when you get locked up. I've had marriage proposals. I've had a stalker or two. I have even met a few girls that I would seriously be interested in, had i met them under different circumstances. I am a realist, though. I dont' know that I am really wried to fall in love from this place. I just...need more than letters and the occassional visit. What could I really offer anyone, you know? I"m broke, so I can't do all the stuff that was normal for me in the freeworld, like surprise dinner dates or a weekend trip to Austin or San Antonio. I can't even promise that I will be here in a few years. Why would I drag someone that I care about down with me? No, I dnt' think I would say a word if I fell in love with someone. Maybe I'm wrong on this. A lot of my neighbors have married during their time here. They seem to enjoy the situation. Secretly, I think they do it so that they have some money coming in each moth, but whatever. That is another thing I couldn't do...I hate living like a welfare case. I'd rather go hungry than to beg.
Hey congratulations for winning the story slam! That had to feel pretty good. You are an interesting lady and certainly have some good stories, so I am sure you will do fine in Oct. at the GrandSlam deal.
I got a chuckle from the "rug breathing" acid story. I haven't dropped acid since high school. Actually, I have a story about that...in my calculus class, there were 5tests, including the final. I had an A going itno the finale so it really dind't matter how I did, so me and some of my idiot friends did acid before school. By the time I go sit for the exam, the floor had turned into water and I'm falling all over myself trying to figureout how to walk like Jesus. A friend later told me that the whole class knew how messed up I was, but I think I pulled it off. Anyways, I love/loved calculus. Which isthe only way I can explain to you what happened: I scored a fucking 98 on my final. I swear to you I was seeing equations in my head. I probably couldn't have done that well sober. Later, I attracked the red light in the photo dark room, which ended a perfectly awesome day at school.
I've heard of Brighton Beach, and about how it is a predominantly Russian enclave. Where is it, compared to some other landmarks I might recognize? I liked the story of finding the bag of booze, though kind of sad how even such a happy day can fade away some quickly. I'm glad I don't have any old photos of past friends. Don't think I could bear to look at them. I guess I'm am about as far from a pack rat as possible. I don't keep much around...a minimallist, I guess. Or maybe I just prefer to live in the now, than in a million moments where I should have acted differently.
Thanks for sending the stamps, by the way, Nice to not have to worry about that so much. Let me know how you are doing. Did you ever get your money from that deadbeat? I hope so.
Be safe, Kelly.
T
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Letters from the Inside, Michael Swango, #40
Dear KK---
[Ed.: Overall this letter discusses film and why his letters have been less frequent lately. I am omitting all of this because it is not very interesting or noteworthy. However, I will post an excerpt of this letter that discusses how people sell his letters and correspondence on e-Bay and other memorabilia sites. I came across a Christmas card of his being sold and alerted him.]
....
Welcome to my world, KK! Yes, I've been aware of the strange world of eBay memorabilia for some time. The "good news" I suppose is that according to a friend of mine who on occassion has checked it out, the few items of mine are not exactly at the top of the food chain. He said one item a few years ago went unsold & was removed.
I decided early on that I can't really worry about this stuff. I love writing & communicating too much to not do so or feel constrained. It's usually pretty obvious when one of these collectors/traders/sellers write. They usually stop once they realize that my letters are not really "star matieral"! Tha'ts if I even bother to respond. I don't if it's clear that's their reason for writing.
Two other points on this:
1) I do remember the item in question. It was sent by a [supposedly] religious woman who sent me some funds the Christmas before last. She also sent me some articles on that show "Gossip Girl" -- which has the tag line "You know you love me XOXO Gossip Girl" Anyway, what are you gonna do?
2) Now check this out: There are now very sophisticated software programs that can take a person's writing (especially printing) -- from say, a letter---pick out each letter, scan, copy, etc.--rearrange to say or print anything you want. Probably not good enough to fool an expert, but on a site like e-Bay? Please! So while I happen to know this one is--as you said--certainly my handwriting, it would be quite easy to make a fake. C'est la vie. Like I said, welcome to my world.
[Ed.: Overall this letter discusses film and why his letters have been less frequent lately. I am omitting all of this because it is not very interesting or noteworthy. However, I will post an excerpt of this letter that discusses how people sell his letters and correspondence on e-Bay and other memorabilia sites. I came across a Christmas card of his being sold and alerted him.]
....
Welcome to my world, KK! Yes, I've been aware of the strange world of eBay memorabilia for some time. The "good news" I suppose is that according to a friend of mine who on occassion has checked it out, the few items of mine are not exactly at the top of the food chain. He said one item a few years ago went unsold & was removed.
I decided early on that I can't really worry about this stuff. I love writing & communicating too much to not do so or feel constrained. It's usually pretty obvious when one of these collectors/traders/sellers write. They usually stop once they realize that my letters are not really "star matieral"! Tha'ts if I even bother to respond. I don't if it's clear that's their reason for writing.
Two other points on this:
1) I do remember the item in question. It was sent by a [supposedly] religious woman who sent me some funds the Christmas before last. She also sent me some articles on that show "Gossip Girl" -- which has the tag line "You know you love me XOXO Gossip Girl" Anyway, what are you gonna do?
2) Now check this out: There are now very sophisticated software programs that can take a person's writing (especially printing) -- from say, a letter---pick out each letter, scan, copy, etc.--rearrange to say or print anything you want. Probably not good enough to fool an expert, but on a site like e-Bay? Please! So while I happen to know this one is--as you said--certainly my handwriting, it would be quite easy to make a fake. C'est la vie. Like I said, welcome to my world.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Letters from the Inside, Michael Swango, #39
Dear KK---
Hi, sunshine! I could say that if you had only stayed in Seattle! I'm sure you were not amused by Seattle's all-time record high of 103 last week, plus their hottest July on record...as compared to New York's second coldest July of all time. Blame the Jet Stream. Perhaps August will bring you some hazy hot humid days in New York.
Once again, this letter may be shorter than I prefer, but again--would rather write less than go too long, without writing...Let me start with comments on two iconic artists/photographers, both close to your heart.
>Thank you for that most informative article on Cindy Sherman. Until I read that, not having seen her enormous body of work, I did not truly understand exactly what she did & how she did it. I can see why she is so celebrated in some circles & she and David Byrne?!!
>A disturbing article on Annie Liebowicz describing her massive financial problems the past couple of years. She needed some of your common sense & street smarts when it comes to money. It's always perplexing when an Annie or M.C. Hammer or Mike Tyson---people who have made tens of millions--end up bankrupt or worse.
I did learn some surprising things about her. I did not know that she and the late (and brilliant) Susan Sontag were a couple. I've read some excerpts from Sontag's journals--published by her son last year. Fascinating stuff. She's on my future reading list. That's a long and ever-growing list...
And Ms. Liebowicz had a child in 01 at age 51 and twins at age 55 in 05. I'm guessing this was in conjunction with her relationship with Ms. Sontag?
[Which reminds me of something I forgot to mention when we talked about children. I was a many-times donor in the 1980s--and there are older half-Michaels--several ++. I don't know them, of course.]
Also speaking of children you have many years to still decide if you want kids, with Annie having 3 children past 50... I do know the options for women and/or couples are increasing virtually every day, insofar as in-vitro/egg-freezing/etc.
Turning back to your latest letter/which I started to answer last week: Actually just a couple of things left to discuss:
Your comments on HIV/AIDS -- and your coming of age sexually in the "Age of Aids" ---are a story that really hasn't been told. Obviously, the gay side of the equation--how Aids decimated the gay male population in the US--has been explored and documented. But the heterosexual side has not been so discussed. Especially females, who are of course much more susceptible to contracting the virus via vaginal or anal sex.
There is must to talk about. For example, I can tell you that I ran across many men in the 80s & 90s who rarely if ever used condoms because they believed themselves virtually at zero risk of contracting HIV. If a woman was on the pill or the sponge, no condoms need apply.
You probably ran across your share of these men. Amazingly, many women felt that way as well (Aids is a gay disease, etc.)
I won't go on for now, because you seem truly averse to discussing HIV/AIDS and I tend to think your statement that it "depresses you" is not simply hyperbole.
AIDS--ground zero of a modern day pandemic plague in sub-Saharan Africa--was such a part of my life & daily experience & conversation for three years that it has lost all power to shock or affect me emotionally.
If & when you feel you can discuss it, I would love to hear how heterosexuals discuss AIDS and/or deal with it's possibility when it comes to sex. In the first decade of the 21st Century in a city like New York, with it's devastating history of AIDS.
You also mentioned this HIV/AIDS lawsuit that can't be discussed. That I understand since I am under numerous legal restrictions regarding what can and cannot be discussed. However, when it can be discussed, please do.
The bottom line of all this is what I've said to you before: That the reaction of HIV/AIDS by the government under Reagan and a homo-illiterate medical establishment is--to me-- one of the most ignored tragedies of the 2nd half of the 20th Century. The ignorance & apathy of the most medically advanced nation on earth contributed to tens of thousands of deaths from AIDS in this nation. Simply stunning, KK.
Randy Shilts began to tell the story in AND THE BAND PLAYED ON. Sorry we can't read it together...However, Kelly---If there is a book, fiction or non-fiction, that we could read together--I would be most open to doing so when you have the time!!
***
I said two things from your letter:
"As for dating--you mentioned a g/f of yours liked the sponge. While I am not interested in hearing of your sexual exploits, I am curious to hear about your girlfriends in general and why things ended and if you have heard from any, etc. Interested in hearing what you used to do on dates."
KK-REALLY? You embarrass me--actually you and me. Sexual exploits? As in non-emotional mindless sex "adventures"? Not really my thing. Your whole near-phobia about discussing actual sexuality is so misplaced and unnecessary.
I am much more evolved & sexually comfortable & adult than you apparently give me credit for. Trust me--anyone who wants mere titillation can find it in a thousand books, etc. +++
But with you, KK, I do want to explore -->everything in this paragraph and much more because you cannot know someone without knowing their relationships/boyfriends/girlfriends/emotional & sexual experiences [the only ones worth discussing in detail.] Trust me again--when discussed/when you feel comfortable and/or free of restriction: any discussion of sex/sexuality/sensuality will be clinical at times. and tasteful always...& probably boring...
"And scene!" OK OFF my soapbox for now.
Must get this longer than expected letter in the mail to you. Over the weekend read & heard multiple reviews of multiple films that I will discuss next time.
Please write soon/Thinking of you, KK--take care and be well. Recovered from H1N1?
Yours,
Michael
Hi, sunshine! I could say that if you had only stayed in Seattle! I'm sure you were not amused by Seattle's all-time record high of 103 last week, plus their hottest July on record...as compared to New York's second coldest July of all time. Blame the Jet Stream. Perhaps August will bring you some hazy hot humid days in New York.
Once again, this letter may be shorter than I prefer, but again--would rather write less than go too long, without writing...Let me start with comments on two iconic artists/photographers, both close to your heart.
>Thank you for that most informative article on Cindy Sherman. Until I read that, not having seen her enormous body of work, I did not truly understand exactly what she did & how she did it. I can see why she is so celebrated in some circles & she and David Byrne?!!
>A disturbing article on Annie Liebowicz describing her massive financial problems the past couple of years. She needed some of your common sense & street smarts when it comes to money. It's always perplexing when an Annie or M.C. Hammer or Mike Tyson---people who have made tens of millions--end up bankrupt or worse.
I did learn some surprising things about her. I did not know that she and the late (and brilliant) Susan Sontag were a couple. I've read some excerpts from Sontag's journals--published by her son last year. Fascinating stuff. She's on my future reading list. That's a long and ever-growing list...
And Ms. Liebowicz had a child in 01 at age 51 and twins at age 55 in 05. I'm guessing this was in conjunction with her relationship with Ms. Sontag?
[Which reminds me of something I forgot to mention when we talked about children. I was a many-times donor in the 1980s--and there are older half-Michaels--several ++. I don't know them, of course.]
Also speaking of children you have many years to still decide if you want kids, with Annie having 3 children past 50... I do know the options for women and/or couples are increasing virtually every day, insofar as in-vitro/egg-freezing/etc.
Turning back to your latest letter/which I started to answer last week: Actually just a couple of things left to discuss:
Your comments on HIV/AIDS -- and your coming of age sexually in the "Age of Aids" ---are a story that really hasn't been told. Obviously, the gay side of the equation--how Aids decimated the gay male population in the US--has been explored and documented. But the heterosexual side has not been so discussed. Especially females, who are of course much more susceptible to contracting the virus via vaginal or anal sex.
There is must to talk about. For example, I can tell you that I ran across many men in the 80s & 90s who rarely if ever used condoms because they believed themselves virtually at zero risk of contracting HIV. If a woman was on the pill or the sponge, no condoms need apply.
You probably ran across your share of these men. Amazingly, many women felt that way as well (Aids is a gay disease, etc.)
I won't go on for now, because you seem truly averse to discussing HIV/AIDS and I tend to think your statement that it "depresses you" is not simply hyperbole.
AIDS--ground zero of a modern day pandemic plague in sub-Saharan Africa--was such a part of my life & daily experience & conversation for three years that it has lost all power to shock or affect me emotionally.
If & when you feel you can discuss it, I would love to hear how heterosexuals discuss AIDS and/or deal with it's possibility when it comes to sex. In the first decade of the 21st Century in a city like New York, with it's devastating history of AIDS.
You also mentioned this HIV/AIDS lawsuit that can't be discussed. That I understand since I am under numerous legal restrictions regarding what can and cannot be discussed. However, when it can be discussed, please do.
The bottom line of all this is what I've said to you before: That the reaction of HIV/AIDS by the government under Reagan and a homo-illiterate medical establishment is--to me-- one of the most ignored tragedies of the 2nd half of the 20th Century. The ignorance & apathy of the most medically advanced nation on earth contributed to tens of thousands of deaths from AIDS in this nation. Simply stunning, KK.
Randy Shilts began to tell the story in AND THE BAND PLAYED ON. Sorry we can't read it together...However, Kelly---If there is a book, fiction or non-fiction, that we could read together--I would be most open to doing so when you have the time!!
***
I said two things from your letter:
"As for dating--you mentioned a g/f of yours liked the sponge. While I am not interested in hearing of your sexual exploits, I am curious to hear about your girlfriends in general and why things ended and if you have heard from any, etc. Interested in hearing what you used to do on dates."
KK-REALLY? You embarrass me--actually you and me. Sexual exploits? As in non-emotional mindless sex "adventures"? Not really my thing. Your whole near-phobia about discussing actual sexuality is so misplaced and unnecessary.
I am much more evolved & sexually comfortable & adult than you apparently give me credit for. Trust me--anyone who wants mere titillation can find it in a thousand books, etc. +++
But with you, KK, I do want to explore -->everything in this paragraph and much more because you cannot know someone without knowing their relationships/boyfriends/girlfriends/emotional & sexual experiences [the only ones worth discussing in detail.] Trust me again--when discussed/when you feel comfortable and/or free of restriction: any discussion of sex/sexuality/sensuality will be clinical at times. and tasteful always...& probably boring...
"And scene!" OK OFF my soapbox for now.
Must get this longer than expected letter in the mail to you. Over the weekend read & heard multiple reviews of multiple films that I will discuss next time.
Please write soon/Thinking of you, KK--take care and be well. Recovered from H1N1?
Yours,
Michael
Monday, August 17, 2009
Letters from the Inside, Sarah Pender, #13 & #14
Dear Kelly,
Surely by now you are in good health and enjoying the sun at the pool, getting your tan on. We had some beautifully nasty storms come through here Tuesday that bought down driving rain so fast, you couldn't see thirty yards away. It bent and swayed these enormous ash and elm trees. Thunderous roars came rolling across the sky and reverberated in my chest. Just awesome.
I like those Tables for Two, not just when they are interesting, but because it describes a place I cannot go. It's a glimpse into the free world.
Thanks for the advice on blogging. I'll have my mom set it up this month. Fun! :-)
Dear God--there is this Subway commercial for flatbread sandwiches that HAUNTS me. Everytime it comes on, I can't sit through it, I have to change the radio station or turn off the volume. It's absurd. I dont' know why it annoys me, but it's serious. That and there's all these commercials on the radio for diamonds and jewelry stores. They are on AM, FM, rock, sports, country, pop, everywhere. I think it's because they talk so damn long and I think about the state of the economy, and with people losing their homes and jobs and they're like, "Come spend six months salary on a rock!"
Seems really insensitive to me. I know it's all business and there are plenty of people out there with disposable income, but I highly doubt they are home listening to WZPL. They have XM radio or iPods or whatever. Rant over.
How did your Hot Summer Nights Cooking Class go?
Congratulations on winning the Story Slam Event. I wish I could have heard it. You knew the subject beforehand; I wonder how long you will have to prepare for the Finals. What do you win? How many people compete? I'm so glad you had fun! Did you take people with you to witness your greatness?
I laughed at the advertisement for DEVROM (the anti-smell drug) because I look at the older couple and wonder how much they got paid to use their photo in a smelly fart/poop ad. FUNNY!
I culd mass market that stuff in here!
What a sad (and funny) story about Theresa. I imagine your place is similar to what mine was in Chicago, where you can hear your immediate neighbors, not through the walls, but through the doors.
So you get ot know your neighbors, hear what music they listen to, what shows they watch, smell what food they cook, what they argue or laugh about, when they fuck loudly---without ever having to talk to them. I used to be very courteous with my guitar and my TV/music, and keep the TV turned down when we'd watch pornos, (there were kids around) but I can't imagine what my neighbor thought about me during my unrestrained moments of pleasure. God, that's embarassing.
Still working on my book. Got another inquiry for an interview from an author who will be publishing a novel through Berkley/Penguin, and a TV News interview request yesterday as a one-year follow up.
Hey, what was the name of the book the father wrote about forgiving his son for killing his family? I'd like to know who the agent is, if it's in there.
Well, I'm off. Time to get to work. Hope you are well!
Sarah
***
Dear Kelly,
Received your card last night. I'm sitting on my floor, trying to keep cool in this humid heat, and listening to a Dave Matthews Band song. "The Space Between". Such a good song. I heard a song on a country station last night---Kenny Chesney and Dave Matthews got together and did "I'm Alive" I think it's called. Beautiful. I rarely listen to country music because it makes me sad for my past, including all the relationships I never had.
I liked the NYT article. Who have thought such a job niche existed? Actually, I heard of something similar--the Landmark Seminar Leaders who travel around the world, from city to city, they often have personal assistants who arrange all their accomodations, fix their meals, show them around town, etc. Itmakes sense when you work from 9am to 10pm to have someone around like that. You don't have time to do shit. And I'm sure there are fantastic assistants. Escort service...Funny.
You know, I larned about escort services while out. I understand their legitimate purpose--but I am amazed that such blatent prostitution exists yet they don't legalize it. Why not? Shit. There are some people who are very talented at just that. You make it safe---mandatory condoms and birth control. Regular clinic screens, and tax it like any other business. Freelancers would be required to carry clinic cards and report like a self employed business. Sure, there'd be non-reporters, but it's no different than waitresses or bartenders or strippers. There are plenty of jobs that earn wages never reported. But imagine the influx of tax dollars from legalizing prostitution. And honestly, I wouldn't care if they legalized pot, either. I mean, the Canadians are one of the safest people and they have BC buds all over their country. I would not partake regularly, but may be Americans would relax a little if they did. More tax dollars for education and health care. People dont' hold you at gunpoint to feed a weed habit. And they don't crash cards like alcoholics. It's amazes me that our culture, which glamorizes alcohol, pot, sex, money & violence, has not pushed to legalize this stuff. I really wish none of it was glamorous. It's sad what the media and music and movie industries feed our people A whole lot of nonsense.
Fuck it.
So, you've spent, what/ $20,000 on altering your looks? I don't liek the term "fixing yourself" because there wasn't anything wrong in the first place. I understand the desire to want to be more attractive to the opposite sex or more comfortable in your own skin. Yeah, teeth are a priority. That's the focal point of conversation. But a big snoz? Boobs? And lipo? Kelly, there wasn't anything ugly about those things.
Tell me, has it gotten you laid any more frequently?
I guess, in my opinion, none of that crap matters. I have fucked a tall, thin, gorgeous Italian beauty and a short, fat, pasty white, freckle faced chick with a fade. And all sorts in between. My favorite? Hands down the fat chick. I was turned off when I first met her, then I feel in love with who she was being. She was amazing. Then, she bcamse incredibly physically attractive to me. Irresistible. The hot Italian chick is liekly still shaking her ass for cash. Not what I'd call life-partner material.
Of course, those are two extremes, but my point is that women are amazing just by being women. Your nerdishness was unique to you. So, you have reinvented yourself over the past ten years. How has it changed how you feel about yourself? how you interact with others, and your overall personality?
I know there's a difference. When I am thin (size 10) I feel more relaxed, energetic, able. But even at size 16 I am still feeling sexy, fun, alive and it translates. It's how I carry myself. And I get laid no matter what size I am. Because it's about who you BE. Perhaps altering your looks allowed you to be more yourself.
You certainly have an adventurous spirit and enjoy new things. And a fun sense of humor.
What di dyou enjoy most about your Canadian friend's visit?
I realize I wrote on the wrong side of the paper. Damn.
I howled with laughter when you said you wanted no part of a threesome. "I want my own boyfriend."
So Funny!
Would you be upset if he masturbated in the bathroom to porno magazines under the sink? Technically a 3some is the same. He's getting pleasure from something other than just you. To me, it's not unlike getting a sex toy from the adult shop. The 2d woman is just a toy, a prop, an added enticement. As long as thereis no emotional attachment or further relationship, I don't think it's an issue. But then again, I like women. Say that you had the opportunity to sleep with the hottest guy you've ever laid eyes on. The conditions are that your boyfriend be involved. Would you do it if he agreed? Honestly?
Yes, women hit on me. And sometimes I hit on them. I've had a couple of kickass lovers in prison. It brings up "kinky lesbian prison affair" but it's really like any normal relationship, just with a differnet set of living arrangements and rules of engagement.
I talked to my mom today, and her and my friend are supposed to work on my little webpage tomorrow. I gave her the blog addresses so I can post book excerpts/previews and attach it as a link to the page. They don't know what they are doing, so it's a learning experience for everyone. I wish I had a friend who really could do webpage stuff. Most of my friends have talents lke laundering large amounts of cash, picking locks, passing checks or what not. Not web skills. Anyway, they set it up on My Space if you want to check it out. Leave a note :-)
Well, hope you are well.
Take care.
Sarah
Surely by now you are in good health and enjoying the sun at the pool, getting your tan on. We had some beautifully nasty storms come through here Tuesday that bought down driving rain so fast, you couldn't see thirty yards away. It bent and swayed these enormous ash and elm trees. Thunderous roars came rolling across the sky and reverberated in my chest. Just awesome.
I like those Tables for Two, not just when they are interesting, but because it describes a place I cannot go. It's a glimpse into the free world.
Thanks for the advice on blogging. I'll have my mom set it up this month. Fun! :-)
Dear God--there is this Subway commercial for flatbread sandwiches that HAUNTS me. Everytime it comes on, I can't sit through it, I have to change the radio station or turn off the volume. It's absurd. I dont' know why it annoys me, but it's serious. That and there's all these commercials on the radio for diamonds and jewelry stores. They are on AM, FM, rock, sports, country, pop, everywhere. I think it's because they talk so damn long and I think about the state of the economy, and with people losing their homes and jobs and they're like, "Come spend six months salary on a rock!"
Seems really insensitive to me. I know it's all business and there are plenty of people out there with disposable income, but I highly doubt they are home listening to WZPL. They have XM radio or iPods or whatever. Rant over.
How did your Hot Summer Nights Cooking Class go?
Congratulations on winning the Story Slam Event. I wish I could have heard it. You knew the subject beforehand; I wonder how long you will have to prepare for the Finals. What do you win? How many people compete? I'm so glad you had fun! Did you take people with you to witness your greatness?
I laughed at the advertisement for DEVROM (the anti-smell drug) because I look at the older couple and wonder how much they got paid to use their photo in a smelly fart/poop ad. FUNNY!
I culd mass market that stuff in here!
What a sad (and funny) story about Theresa. I imagine your place is similar to what mine was in Chicago, where you can hear your immediate neighbors, not through the walls, but through the doors.
So you get ot know your neighbors, hear what music they listen to, what shows they watch, smell what food they cook, what they argue or laugh about, when they fuck loudly---without ever having to talk to them. I used to be very courteous with my guitar and my TV/music, and keep the TV turned down when we'd watch pornos, (there were kids around) but I can't imagine what my neighbor thought about me during my unrestrained moments of pleasure. God, that's embarassing.
Still working on my book. Got another inquiry for an interview from an author who will be publishing a novel through Berkley/Penguin, and a TV News interview request yesterday as a one-year follow up.
Hey, what was the name of the book the father wrote about forgiving his son for killing his family? I'd like to know who the agent is, if it's in there.
Well, I'm off. Time to get to work. Hope you are well!
Sarah
***
Dear Kelly,
Received your card last night. I'm sitting on my floor, trying to keep cool in this humid heat, and listening to a Dave Matthews Band song. "The Space Between". Such a good song. I heard a song on a country station last night---Kenny Chesney and Dave Matthews got together and did "I'm Alive" I think it's called. Beautiful. I rarely listen to country music because it makes me sad for my past, including all the relationships I never had.
I liked the NYT article. Who have thought such a job niche existed? Actually, I heard of something similar--the Landmark Seminar Leaders who travel around the world, from city to city, they often have personal assistants who arrange all their accomodations, fix their meals, show them around town, etc. Itmakes sense when you work from 9am to 10pm to have someone around like that. You don't have time to do shit. And I'm sure there are fantastic assistants. Escort service...Funny.
You know, I larned about escort services while out. I understand their legitimate purpose--but I am amazed that such blatent prostitution exists yet they don't legalize it. Why not? Shit. There are some people who are very talented at just that. You make it safe---mandatory condoms and birth control. Regular clinic screens, and tax it like any other business. Freelancers would be required to carry clinic cards and report like a self employed business. Sure, there'd be non-reporters, but it's no different than waitresses or bartenders or strippers. There are plenty of jobs that earn wages never reported. But imagine the influx of tax dollars from legalizing prostitution. And honestly, I wouldn't care if they legalized pot, either. I mean, the Canadians are one of the safest people and they have BC buds all over their country. I would not partake regularly, but may be Americans would relax a little if they did. More tax dollars for education and health care. People dont' hold you at gunpoint to feed a weed habit. And they don't crash cards like alcoholics. It's amazes me that our culture, which glamorizes alcohol, pot, sex, money & violence, has not pushed to legalize this stuff. I really wish none of it was glamorous. It's sad what the media and music and movie industries feed our people A whole lot of nonsense.
Fuck it.
So, you've spent, what/ $20,000 on altering your looks? I don't liek the term "fixing yourself" because there wasn't anything wrong in the first place. I understand the desire to want to be more attractive to the opposite sex or more comfortable in your own skin. Yeah, teeth are a priority. That's the focal point of conversation. But a big snoz? Boobs? And lipo? Kelly, there wasn't anything ugly about those things.
Tell me, has it gotten you laid any more frequently?
I guess, in my opinion, none of that crap matters. I have fucked a tall, thin, gorgeous Italian beauty and a short, fat, pasty white, freckle faced chick with a fade. And all sorts in between. My favorite? Hands down the fat chick. I was turned off when I first met her, then I feel in love with who she was being. She was amazing. Then, she bcamse incredibly physically attractive to me. Irresistible. The hot Italian chick is liekly still shaking her ass for cash. Not what I'd call life-partner material.
Of course, those are two extremes, but my point is that women are amazing just by being women. Your nerdishness was unique to you. So, you have reinvented yourself over the past ten years. How has it changed how you feel about yourself? how you interact with others, and your overall personality?
I know there's a difference. When I am thin (size 10) I feel more relaxed, energetic, able. But even at size 16 I am still feeling sexy, fun, alive and it translates. It's how I carry myself. And I get laid no matter what size I am. Because it's about who you BE. Perhaps altering your looks allowed you to be more yourself.
You certainly have an adventurous spirit and enjoy new things. And a fun sense of humor.
What di dyou enjoy most about your Canadian friend's visit?
I realize I wrote on the wrong side of the paper. Damn.
I howled with laughter when you said you wanted no part of a threesome. "I want my own boyfriend."
So Funny!
Would you be upset if he masturbated in the bathroom to porno magazines under the sink? Technically a 3some is the same. He's getting pleasure from something other than just you. To me, it's not unlike getting a sex toy from the adult shop. The 2d woman is just a toy, a prop, an added enticement. As long as thereis no emotional attachment or further relationship, I don't think it's an issue. But then again, I like women. Say that you had the opportunity to sleep with the hottest guy you've ever laid eyes on. The conditions are that your boyfriend be involved. Would you do it if he agreed? Honestly?
Yes, women hit on me. And sometimes I hit on them. I've had a couple of kickass lovers in prison. It brings up "kinky lesbian prison affair" but it's really like any normal relationship, just with a differnet set of living arrangements and rules of engagement.
I talked to my mom today, and her and my friend are supposed to work on my little webpage tomorrow. I gave her the blog addresses so I can post book excerpts/previews and attach it as a link to the page. They don't know what they are doing, so it's a learning experience for everyone. I wish I had a friend who really could do webpage stuff. Most of my friends have talents lke laundering large amounts of cash, picking locks, passing checks or what not. Not web skills. Anyway, they set it up on My Space if you want to check it out. Leave a note :-)
Well, hope you are well.
Take care.
Sarah
