Saturday, April 25, 2009
A Question to Readers:
Now that you have had access to the letters I get from the inmates as part of my Letters from the Inside project, what would you like me to write to them? Or more importantly, what would you like me to ask them? What are you thinking of this project? Any comments?
Letters from the Outside, In, KK to Swango, #11
Michael:
Wow! Two letters in one day. Today I trudged to Williamsburg, Brooklyn. Are you familiar with this area? Wmsburg. is a place I hate. It is a very artsy part of Brooklyn where all the annoying hipsters live. If you like trust fund, unwashed-haired kids from the Midwest with tattoos and no sense of purpose, well, then, Billysburg is for you. I went there to pick up money from a store that I sell jewelry I design at. (That sentence is grammatically wrong, btw. I’m just too lazy to fix it.) I don’t think I’ve mentioned that I make jewelry. It’s pretty interesting and certainly doesn’t earn much money but a few hundred here and there helps keep me in movies and books. I will paste in the tags I attach to all my pieces:
Anyway, it was very cold and pouring out today so I made the trek there and was surprised I was owed more than anticipated. I also took some of my clothes to a consignment shop in that area. They buy used designer or vintage pieces. They selected a few pieces and used the credit to buy a vintage leather motorcycle jacket. You know, cause I was ‘born to be wild’ and all. I hope you can hear the sarcasm.
I have so much work to do and it is already 8:08pm. I’m waiting for In Treatment, starring Gabriel Byrne, to come on. Oddly, you mentioned it in your letter. It is an ok show, but it makes me tense. The people who see him with their problems stress me out. They all annoy me.
Back to your letter. Let me try to answer the questions posed.
I have thought of creating a book of my blog entries, but honestly, if I were to write a book, I’d probably write a memoir. I have had a very weird and interesting life. I haven’t mentioned much of it here and may or may not in the future, but suffice it to say I have had many wacky things happen to me. I feel trapped in a Seinfeldian Hell.
I hated the movie FUR, but loved the book about Arbus. Yes, it was the Bosworth bio I read. She was a visual genius for sure. Her photos were very harsh and almost scary. She went places such as nudist colonies, carnivals, drug dens, etc. to capture the essence of “freaks.” Yes, a friend calls me the literary Diane Arbus. I know you have only read my goofy dating columns and upbeat blog entries, but I am a very dark person. I know the pain of life and enjoy writing about it. Diane was obviously creative and a depressive. I guess that is why he compares us.
The Guggenheim and Museum of Nat. History parties I referenced were not private invite only. The Guggenheim has an event every first Friday of the month where they open the museum from 9-1am, have a dj, drinks and allow people to drunkenly roam the circles of art. I also belong to an art membership organization called GENART which allows members to go to private art showings, film screenings, concerts and fashion shows. Coincidentally I just won 2 free tickets to go see the new documentary by James Toback about Mike Tyson, aptly called, “Tyson.” I am a big fan of boxing. I used to date an executive producer at SHOWTIME who would get me into big boxing events. I got to sit next to Don King once, ringside, in Atlantic City. I also flew to Vegas for a big Holyfield fight. It is a beautiful, albeit gory, sport.
I’m now onto Letter 2 from Swango: No migraine today, thankfully.
As for dachshunds, I did not have one growing up. I had a very odd childhood that is too long to get into. I have just always liked them because they are funny looking, silly and have very dominant personalities. I like that they have attitude. Mine is snoring on a chair behind me.
I didn’t notice any of those bookstores in India, however, I know exactly what you are talking about. I was on a small island once, Caye Caulker, off the coast of Belize—no cars at all b/c it is just 3 miles. However, there was a book café where you could leave a book and take a book. Likewise when I was in Venezuela this summer there was also something similar. I, did, however, leave a ton of books in the apt. I rented in India. I like leaving bits of “myself” and my things in places I travel. I wonder who gets them next…
Paul Janka is guy who graduated from Yale. He is a weird guy. Model good looks and very smart, but crazy. He wrote a manifesto about how to get laid in NY without spending a dime. It wasn’t really even tongue-in-cheek. It was serious and mean. I actually became ‘friends’ with him and went on a mock-date so I could write
about it. I did so online, contending that he has a severe compulsion disorder. It is sad. He has since been on Dr. Phil and has a show in the works for MTV. He also was accused of trying to sexually assault a girl he was on a date with. SCARY! I run into him sometimes in the subway. He is an odd character, but has always been nice to me. He is not-so-affectionately known in internet circles as “the worst man in the world.”
I just watched the latest ALICE episode. It is about a 26 year old Brazilian girl, Alice, who lives in a coastal town in Brazil called Las Palmas. Her father commits suicide and she goes to Sao Paolo for his funeral. She meets her step-sister there and her lesbian aunt. She has a fiancé in Las Palmas. She misses her flight b/c she is partying and decides to stay in Sao Paolo. She doesn’t explain to the boyfriend and sort of begins a new life there in Sao Paolo. That’s the gist of it. The City plays a central character role; I like seeing Brazil.
I will try to find the Post article about my firing online. I have searched for it and can’t seem to get a full article, but I believe it is linked up on my Wikipedia page. I will try to find it and print it out for you. I no longer do any reporting for GMTV. I was only filling in for a reporter over the holidays. It was so fun! Have you been to England? I have only been to London, and I loved it. I always say I’d never live anywhere but NYC, but if I absolutely had to go elsewhere, it’d be London.
Ah, so you’ve seen your Wikipedia listing. Ok. So I Googled you today. OMG! It didn’t say much I didn’t know—many poisonings, murders and subsequent jail time. However, the thing that floored me is that it mentions you dated someone you called “KK.” It says her name was Kristin Kinney and that you were engaged to her and that she was upset upon realizing you were being investigated and that you had done jail time. She left you to move back to where her family was and ended up killing herself. It also says she was found with arsenic in her and that her family suspected you may have given her it. Of course, my sincerest condolences go to you and her family. Suicide is always such a tragedy. I can’t even imagine how awful… However, “KK?” Really? You didn’t think to tell me this coincidence? It is pretty shocking that you had a KK that was very prominent in your life. And then I wrote to you, signing as I usually do, “KK.” What do you think about this? It is very unnerving.
I know you are probably squeamish about this whole thing, and it is not my intention to upset you, however, I’m very curious. Curious about KK. The poisonings… I also am interested in understanding how you feel about something. Online it says you are a sociopath. (I know the clinical definition and assume you do too.) Do you feel you are one? I’m not a doctor, clearly, so I have no idea. How do you feel about that word? Were you born without, or grew to have, no conscience? I’m not judging, just curious. Do you get pleasure out of others’ pain? Again, this is not me being critical—clearly I am absolutely opposed to any crime, including murder and do not condone any illegal actions---but I just want to try to understand.
I also see here that there was some sort of book written about you called BLIND EYE. Have you read this? Do you know of it? I’m assuming it would not be very flattering… Should I get a copy?
And last on this awkward topic, you cannot write about a “bad heart” and not explain. Come on, now. What exactly do you mean you had a bad heart? I assume you don’t mean physically as in heart problems. You say you no longer have a “bad heart.” After you define “bad heart” then what cured it?
You have children! I realize they are far away, but do they write to you? Do you know what they look like? Are you still friendly with their mothers? Also, what was your first wife like? I told you all about my annoying ex-husband, so it is your turn. Although I’m not suggesting your wife was annoying….
This letter is already 3 pages so I’ll save my blog entries for next time. I will send you another Outside the Box, I hopefully haven’t sent before and some more short blog entries.
I must get into bed now and watch In Treatment and stay up late reading the latest New York, New Yorker and Harpers. Tomorrow is a busy day. Hope all my questions haven’t irked you.
‘Night.
KK
Wow! Two letters in one day. Today I trudged to Williamsburg, Brooklyn. Are you familiar with this area? Wmsburg. is a place I hate. It is a very artsy part of Brooklyn where all the annoying hipsters live. If you like trust fund, unwashed-haired kids from the Midwest with tattoos and no sense of purpose, well, then, Billysburg is for you. I went there to pick up money from a store that I sell jewelry I design at. (That sentence is grammatically wrong, btw. I’m just too lazy to fix it.) I don’t think I’ve mentioned that I make jewelry. It’s pretty interesting and certainly doesn’t earn much money but a few hundred here and there helps keep me in movies and books. I will paste in the tags I attach to all my pieces:
Anyway, it was very cold and pouring out today so I made the trek there and was surprised I was owed more than anticipated. I also took some of my clothes to a consignment shop in that area. They buy used designer or vintage pieces. They selected a few pieces and used the credit to buy a vintage leather motorcycle jacket. You know, cause I was ‘born to be wild’ and all. I hope you can hear the sarcasm.
I have so much work to do and it is already 8:08pm. I’m waiting for In Treatment, starring Gabriel Byrne, to come on. Oddly, you mentioned it in your letter. It is an ok show, but it makes me tense. The people who see him with their problems stress me out. They all annoy me.
Back to your letter. Let me try to answer the questions posed.
I have thought of creating a book of my blog entries, but honestly, if I were to write a book, I’d probably write a memoir. I have had a very weird and interesting life. I haven’t mentioned much of it here and may or may not in the future, but suffice it to say I have had many wacky things happen to me. I feel trapped in a Seinfeldian Hell.
I hated the movie FUR, but loved the book about Arbus. Yes, it was the Bosworth bio I read. She was a visual genius for sure. Her photos were very harsh and almost scary. She went places such as nudist colonies, carnivals, drug dens, etc. to capture the essence of “freaks.” Yes, a friend calls me the literary Diane Arbus. I know you have only read my goofy dating columns and upbeat blog entries, but I am a very dark person. I know the pain of life and enjoy writing about it. Diane was obviously creative and a depressive. I guess that is why he compares us.
The Guggenheim and Museum of Nat. History parties I referenced were not private invite only. The Guggenheim has an event every first Friday of the month where they open the museum from 9-1am, have a dj, drinks and allow people to drunkenly roam the circles of art. I also belong to an art membership organization called GENART which allows members to go to private art showings, film screenings, concerts and fashion shows. Coincidentally I just won 2 free tickets to go see the new documentary by James Toback about Mike Tyson, aptly called, “Tyson.” I am a big fan of boxing. I used to date an executive producer at SHOWTIME who would get me into big boxing events. I got to sit next to Don King once, ringside, in Atlantic City. I also flew to Vegas for a big Holyfield fight. It is a beautiful, albeit gory, sport.
I’m now onto Letter 2 from Swango: No migraine today, thankfully.
As for dachshunds, I did not have one growing up. I had a very odd childhood that is too long to get into. I have just always liked them because they are funny looking, silly and have very dominant personalities. I like that they have attitude. Mine is snoring on a chair behind me.
I didn’t notice any of those bookstores in India, however, I know exactly what you are talking about. I was on a small island once, Caye Caulker, off the coast of Belize—no cars at all b/c it is just 3 miles. However, there was a book café where you could leave a book and take a book. Likewise when I was in Venezuela this summer there was also something similar. I, did, however, leave a ton of books in the apt. I rented in India. I like leaving bits of “myself” and my things in places I travel. I wonder who gets them next…
Paul Janka is guy who graduated from Yale. He is a weird guy. Model good looks and very smart, but crazy. He wrote a manifesto about how to get laid in NY without spending a dime. It wasn’t really even tongue-in-cheek. It was serious and mean. I actually became ‘friends’ with him and went on a mock-date so I could write
about it. I did so online, contending that he has a severe compulsion disorder. It is sad. He has since been on Dr. Phil and has a show in the works for MTV. He also was accused of trying to sexually assault a girl he was on a date with. SCARY! I run into him sometimes in the subway. He is an odd character, but has always been nice to me. He is not-so-affectionately known in internet circles as “the worst man in the world.”
I just watched the latest ALICE episode. It is about a 26 year old Brazilian girl, Alice, who lives in a coastal town in Brazil called Las Palmas. Her father commits suicide and she goes to Sao Paolo for his funeral. She meets her step-sister there and her lesbian aunt. She has a fiancé in Las Palmas. She misses her flight b/c she is partying and decides to stay in Sao Paolo. She doesn’t explain to the boyfriend and sort of begins a new life there in Sao Paolo. That’s the gist of it. The City plays a central character role; I like seeing Brazil.
I will try to find the Post article about my firing online. I have searched for it and can’t seem to get a full article, but I believe it is linked up on my Wikipedia page. I will try to find it and print it out for you. I no longer do any reporting for GMTV. I was only filling in for a reporter over the holidays. It was so fun! Have you been to England? I have only been to London, and I loved it. I always say I’d never live anywhere but NYC, but if I absolutely had to go elsewhere, it’d be London.
Ah, so you’ve seen your Wikipedia listing. Ok. So I Googled you today. OMG! It didn’t say much I didn’t know—many poisonings, murders and subsequent jail time. However, the thing that floored me is that it mentions you dated someone you called “KK.” It says her name was Kristin Kinney and that you were engaged to her and that she was upset upon realizing you were being investigated and that you had done jail time. She left you to move back to where her family was and ended up killing herself. It also says she was found with arsenic in her and that her family suspected you may have given her it. Of course, my sincerest condolences go to you and her family. Suicide is always such a tragedy. I can’t even imagine how awful… However, “KK?” Really? You didn’t think to tell me this coincidence? It is pretty shocking that you had a KK that was very prominent in your life. And then I wrote to you, signing as I usually do, “KK.” What do you think about this? It is very unnerving.
I know you are probably squeamish about this whole thing, and it is not my intention to upset you, however, I’m very curious. Curious about KK. The poisonings… I also am interested in understanding how you feel about something. Online it says you are a sociopath. (I know the clinical definition and assume you do too.) Do you feel you are one? I’m not a doctor, clearly, so I have no idea. How do you feel about that word? Were you born without, or grew to have, no conscience? I’m not judging, just curious. Do you get pleasure out of others’ pain? Again, this is not me being critical—clearly I am absolutely opposed to any crime, including murder and do not condone any illegal actions---but I just want to try to understand.
I also see here that there was some sort of book written about you called BLIND EYE. Have you read this? Do you know of it? I’m assuming it would not be very flattering… Should I get a copy?
And last on this awkward topic, you cannot write about a “bad heart” and not explain. Come on, now. What exactly do you mean you had a bad heart? I assume you don’t mean physically as in heart problems. You say you no longer have a “bad heart.” After you define “bad heart” then what cured it?
You have children! I realize they are far away, but do they write to you? Do you know what they look like? Are you still friendly with their mothers? Also, what was your first wife like? I told you all about my annoying ex-husband, so it is your turn. Although I’m not suggesting your wife was annoying….
This letter is already 3 pages so I’ll save my blog entries for next time. I will send you another Outside the Box, I hopefully haven’t sent before and some more short blog entries.
I must get into bed now and watch In Treatment and stay up late reading the latest New York, New Yorker and Harpers. Tomorrow is a busy day. Hope all my questions haven’t irked you.
‘Night.
KK
Friday, April 24, 2009
Letters from the Inside, Michael Swango, #11
KK---
Hello again! Too bad about the Imitrex. A relative of mine suffers from migraines, and he says Imitrex is the best medicine he's ever used. [Yes, he knows he is in the minority--since women suffer migraines far more often than men.] Any change your insurance will cover it again at some point?
There's something we have in common---love of books. Your analogy of a demented squirrel hoarding nuts sounds about right! Several times In the past I've been forced by sheer numbers & space to "cull" my collection. Always an excruciating process.
So what is this true love you seem to have for dachshunds? Clearly Mini is a joyful part of your life. Did you have a weiner dog when you were a child, or did they come in to your life via a friend or lover or the sheer mechanics and limitations of Manhattan apartment living?
A word about bookstores in Southern Africa, which may be the same in India (you can tell me). Almost every city that attracts tourists and/or ex-pats has several "trade-in" bookstores. You can either purchase the thousands of used books, or pay a smaller fee and trade-in your used books for others. Either way is dirt-cheap. Because of the volume & variety, you find paperbacks there from Britain & Australia & South Africa that you might otherwise never see. Thus did I discover Patricia Highsmith's* amazing series of Ripley novels: The Talented Mr. Ripley is only the first in a series of five or six outstanding & details explorations of the charming but utterly conscience-less Tom Ripley...AND the brilliant novels of Iris Murdoch...AND the South African novelist J.M. Coetzee...among others. Will make a note to discuss those authors in future letters.
Thank you for clarifying "Outside the Box" vs. "Unbearable Heaviness of Being." Either the Observer writer got it wrong or I somehow misunderstood what she wrote. Anything you can send from either source is most appreciated. Do tell me one thing about your infamous "open letter' though Who was Paul Janka and why did your editor force you to write the letter?!
*AND her 20 or 25 other novels--always different, always dark, and no happy ending. She wrote Strangers on a Train, the basis for the Hitchcock movie. Book is better.
HBO-L/When you decide to get HBO you go all the way, don't you? ALICE definitely sounds different. If you have time, can you send me a brief description of the series? Although I've not seen it, I have read & heard a lot about "IN TREATMENT" with Gabriel Byrne. Apparently a critical hit. Perhaps it will show up on LIFETIME at some point. Curious what you think about Season I.
While it may be a long story and all very familiar to you -- the story of what happened four years ago with your firing & blog sounds like a New York media sensation! I won't ask you to recount every step--but could you send the text of the full-page N.Y. Post article?
And do you still do any reporting for UK TV? If I didn't make it clear earlier, I am a huge Anglophile-modern English authors, English films [especially 60s & 70s], etc. AND UK politics--even more of a blood sport there than here. Prime Minister's Questions live on C-SPAN at 0500 hrs Mountain Time on Wednesdays. Keep an eye on (GEEK ALERT!) Mr. Cameron. I believe he will be the next P.M.
I have actually read the WIKIPEDIA entry regarding my sad history. Multiple factual error/I'm not sure if Google would do any better. However--allow me to make this comment, which may surprise you: Not only did a series of bad decisions and bad acts put me here--but I also (I have learned) had a bad heart. That person--in those ways--seems as distant to me now as Alpha Centauri. I no longer have a bad heart. Though I remain here, I can assure you it makes a tremendous difference in my outlook on the world in general and my attitudes on virtually everything.
Regarding the personal info: Again, probably not on Google! Married once in Virginia, for about three years. No children from that marriage. But two lovely children with two women in Africa--both living in Zambia. One girl, one boy--both now tweens. Both healthy & doing well. Cannot say any more. But thanks for asking!
***
Must get this in the mail. In my next letter I will talk about your LOL holiday shopping story about finding the perfect pair of jeans!
However, before I close, a brief mention of an incoming film with Amy Adams & Meryl Streep: "Julie & Julia" [August 7th] Streep plays celebrity chef Julia Childs & Adams play a blogger ! Julie Powers. Written & directed by Nora Ephron.
Doesn't really sound like my kind of film--but I always keep an open mind. And as you said, Amy Adams is brilliant.
One more thing, KK. I find it somewhat charming that you don't want to send your Paul Janka letter because it is "not well-written" and "way too graphic!" Are you kidding! :-) You would not believe some of the "stories" I have received unsolicited - "graphic" would be the mildest term I would use.
In any even, trust me that my sensibilities and life experiences cover anything & everything that you can imagine. And I don't say that lightly. I should add that I'm not proud of every thing, but there it is. On the plus side, I never sit around wishing I could do A or B or C...or X or Y or Z.
I hope to discuss whatever comes to mind with you [see page 4], and I hope you will feel free & unfettered to do the same.
You take care and hope to hear from you soon. Be good.
Yours, Michael
Hello again! Too bad about the Imitrex. A relative of mine suffers from migraines, and he says Imitrex is the best medicine he's ever used. [Yes, he knows he is in the minority--since women suffer migraines far more often than men.] Any change your insurance will cover it again at some point?
There's something we have in common---love of books. Your analogy of a demented squirrel hoarding nuts sounds about right! Several times In the past I've been forced by sheer numbers & space to "cull" my collection. Always an excruciating process.
So what is this true love you seem to have for dachshunds? Clearly Mini is a joyful part of your life. Did you have a weiner dog when you were a child, or did they come in to your life via a friend or lover or the sheer mechanics and limitations of Manhattan apartment living?
A word about bookstores in Southern Africa, which may be the same in India (you can tell me). Almost every city that attracts tourists and/or ex-pats has several "trade-in" bookstores. You can either purchase the thousands of used books, or pay a smaller fee and trade-in your used books for others. Either way is dirt-cheap. Because of the volume & variety, you find paperbacks there from Britain & Australia & South Africa that you might otherwise never see. Thus did I discover Patricia Highsmith's* amazing series of Ripley novels: The Talented Mr. Ripley is only the first in a series of five or six outstanding & details explorations of the charming but utterly conscience-less Tom Ripley...AND the brilliant novels of Iris Murdoch...AND the South African novelist J.M. Coetzee...among others. Will make a note to discuss those authors in future letters.
Thank you for clarifying "Outside the Box" vs. "Unbearable Heaviness of Being." Either the Observer writer got it wrong or I somehow misunderstood what she wrote. Anything you can send from either source is most appreciated. Do tell me one thing about your infamous "open letter' though Who was Paul Janka and why did your editor force you to write the letter?!
*AND her 20 or 25 other novels--always different, always dark, and no happy ending. She wrote Strangers on a Train, the basis for the Hitchcock movie. Book is better.
HBO-L/When you decide to get HBO you go all the way, don't you? ALICE definitely sounds different. If you have time, can you send me a brief description of the series? Although I've not seen it, I have read & heard a lot about "IN TREATMENT" with Gabriel Byrne. Apparently a critical hit. Perhaps it will show up on LIFETIME at some point. Curious what you think about Season I.
While it may be a long story and all very familiar to you -- the story of what happened four years ago with your firing & blog sounds like a New York media sensation! I won't ask you to recount every step--but could you send the text of the full-page N.Y. Post article?
And do you still do any reporting for UK TV? If I didn't make it clear earlier, I am a huge Anglophile-modern English authors, English films [especially 60s & 70s], etc. AND UK politics--even more of a blood sport there than here. Prime Minister's Questions live on C-SPAN at 0500 hrs Mountain Time on Wednesdays. Keep an eye on (GEEK ALERT!) Mr. Cameron. I believe he will be the next P.M.
I have actually read the WIKIPEDIA entry regarding my sad history. Multiple factual error/I'm not sure if Google would do any better. However--allow me to make this comment, which may surprise you: Not only did a series of bad decisions and bad acts put me here--but I also (I have learned) had a bad heart. That person--in those ways--seems as distant to me now as Alpha Centauri. I no longer have a bad heart. Though I remain here, I can assure you it makes a tremendous difference in my outlook on the world in general and my attitudes on virtually everything.
Regarding the personal info: Again, probably not on Google! Married once in Virginia, for about three years. No children from that marriage. But two lovely children with two women in Africa--both living in Zambia. One girl, one boy--both now tweens. Both healthy & doing well. Cannot say any more. But thanks for asking!
***
Must get this in the mail. In my next letter I will talk about your LOL holiday shopping story about finding the perfect pair of jeans!
However, before I close, a brief mention of an incoming film with Amy Adams & Meryl Streep: "Julie & Julia" [August 7th] Streep plays celebrity chef Julia Childs & Adams play a blogger ! Julie Powers. Written & directed by Nora Ephron.
Doesn't really sound like my kind of film--but I always keep an open mind. And as you said, Amy Adams is brilliant.
One more thing, KK. I find it somewhat charming that you don't want to send your Paul Janka letter because it is "not well-written" and "way too graphic!" Are you kidding! :-) You would not believe some of the "stories" I have received unsolicited - "graphic" would be the mildest term I would use.
In any even, trust me that my sensibilities and life experiences cover anything & everything that you can imagine. And I don't say that lightly. I should add that I'm not proud of every thing, but there it is. On the plus side, I never sit around wishing I could do A or B or C...or X or Y or Z.
I hope to discuss whatever comes to mind with you [see page 4], and I hope you will feel free & unfettered to do the same.
You take care and hope to hear from you soon. Be good.
Yours, Michael
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Letters from the Inside, Michael Swango, #10
Dear KK--- April 13, 2009
I have your letter and your card* in front of me. You really are endlessly fascinating and entertaining; and if you think I've said that about many people either before or after I came here, you would be mistaken.
So, KK---when are you going to get your columns & blogs together for a book and write a NY Times Bestseller ala Chelsea Handler, et al? I do a lot of reading--even more lately thanks to you--and your columns deserve to be turned into Volume I and II and ... Just a thought, though, I'm sure it is not original with me!
Beginning with your card, which was written first: As often happens over the weekend I saw a brief but fact-heavy investigative report on CNN re the death of Natasha Richardson. The timeline is damning on several key points. First, it appears she languished in the ER at the small community hospital near the resort for over an hour. Critical time in an epidural hematoma. She should have been sent immediately to the trauma center in Montreal. But the real "killer"--possibly literally--was the 2 1/2 hour ground transport time to Montreal. No air transport available. The bottom line is this: She was apparently injured around 12:40...she did not ARRIVE in Montreal at the trauma center until 7:00pm: 6 1/2 hours post-injury. The report didn't say if she had immediate surgery on arrival---but with that type of injury, the brain damage may well have been irreversible and fatal by that time.
Yes, I did see the news of the suicide of Nicholas Plath. Given the historical irony, I was surprised the story was not covered more. It was barely mentioned, in fact. Sylvia Plath is not the literary & tragic icon she once was. On a more personal note, I have lost someone close to suicide. You never ever really know why... [Ed.: He is referring to KK.]
your reading the Diane Arbus biography reminded me of that most unusual film from 06---based on that biography:
"FUR: AN IMAGINARY PORTRAIT OF DIANE ARBUS" 06 Directed by Steven Shainberg Starring Nicole Kidman, Robert Downey, Jr. "Attempting to explore famed photographer Arbus' artistic awakening in metaphoric terms, this film (set in 1958) follows her evolution from a stifled upper-class N.Y.C. wife & mother to an artist who's open to a world of society's outcasts that her parents taught her to shun.
Downey plays a fugitive from a freak show with a furry body who moves in upstairs. He's a fictitious character in this "imaginary portrait" that tells us a little about a very intersting woman. Ambitious and intriguing, with Kidman perfectly cast, but a strange, unsatisfying film. "Inspired By" Patricia Bosworth's biography of Arbus. KK: Is this the biography you are reading, or another one?
Despite several other reviews similar to the above at the time, I reallyl wanted to see this film. Because of Kidman's lead role, it recieved a lot of buzz at the time---which made its critical demise all the more devastating.
Even a three-line entry in one of those omnibus encyclopedias makes you want to know more about her: "DIANE ARBUS (1923-1971)" U. S. photographer noted for her black & white photographs of the strangeness of ordinary people, particularly children. Born Diane Nemerov, she died a suicide. Her autobiography, Diane Arbus, was published in 1972.
So-as you can see from the above, I am only superficially familiar with Ms. Arbus--and I am most interested in everything you glean from reading her biography. The comment that you are a "literary" Diane Arbus...please tell me more! As I said, endlessly fascinating and entertaining :)
Speaking of her photos of children, I recall seeing a stunning photograh of a family in the 1950s that had eleven or twelve girls--no boys. And they were all lined up by height wearing the same exact outfit. The photo was by Diane Arbus. Not sure if it was meant to look like a happy family photo, but in the hands of Ms. Arbus my recollection is of something akin to a German eugenics film from the early 20th century. I've never forgotten that photo. Strange, the effect of a single image...
***
"Touched By A Pigeon" is a perfect example of a story/"slice-of-life" that belongs in that book with 50 or 60 others!
Not only did I learn about NYC pigeons, but very funny as I've learned to expect from most of your writings. A pigeon that loses his will to live... pigeon pox!...and the sad reality of [ahem] pigeon suicide...?! [Ed: He is referencing a blog entry I wrote years ago called, "Touched By A Pigeon," about how a friend was teaching me how to ride a bike back when I lived in Hell's Kitchen. Whilst waiting for him to get the bike, I came across a neighbhorhood guy holding a pigeon. He explained there was nothign wrong with the bird, except it had lost its will to live. He had me pet it and it was soft like a bunny. A passerby noticed and screamed at how dirty it was and I was zapped back into reality and started itching and breaking out into hives. We left for our bike ride and an hour later while crossing Ninth Avenue on my way home, I saw it---dead in the middle of the road. And I just knew it walked into traffic on purpose.]
That's just your card! Let me get this in the mail now, and delve into your letter. Part II to follow shortly.
Take care and stay safe in the big bad city. Write when you can--more from me tomorrow.
Yours,
Michael
P.S. Are all your Guggenheim & MOMA parties "invitation" only? I imagine you know lots of people in your line of work...
* Nice by the way: Fountain House Collection to enlighten the attitudes regarding the mentally ill. [Ed.: He is referencing the notecard I sent; it was made by a non-profit involving mental health research.]
I have your letter and your card* in front of me. You really are endlessly fascinating and entertaining; and if you think I've said that about many people either before or after I came here, you would be mistaken.
So, KK---when are you going to get your columns & blogs together for a book and write a NY Times Bestseller ala Chelsea Handler, et al? I do a lot of reading--even more lately thanks to you--and your columns deserve to be turned into Volume I and II and ... Just a thought, though, I'm sure it is not original with me!
Beginning with your card, which was written first: As often happens over the weekend I saw a brief but fact-heavy investigative report on CNN re the death of Natasha Richardson. The timeline is damning on several key points. First, it appears she languished in the ER at the small community hospital near the resort for over an hour. Critical time in an epidural hematoma. She should have been sent immediately to the trauma center in Montreal. But the real "killer"--possibly literally--was the 2 1/2 hour ground transport time to Montreal. No air transport available. The bottom line is this: She was apparently injured around 12:40...she did not ARRIVE in Montreal at the trauma center until 7:00pm: 6 1/2 hours post-injury. The report didn't say if she had immediate surgery on arrival---but with that type of injury, the brain damage may well have been irreversible and fatal by that time.
Yes, I did see the news of the suicide of Nicholas Plath. Given the historical irony, I was surprised the story was not covered more. It was barely mentioned, in fact. Sylvia Plath is not the literary & tragic icon she once was. On a more personal note, I have lost someone close to suicide. You never ever really know why... [Ed.: He is referring to KK.]
your reading the Diane Arbus biography reminded me of that most unusual film from 06---based on that biography:
"FUR: AN IMAGINARY PORTRAIT OF DIANE ARBUS" 06 Directed by Steven Shainberg Starring Nicole Kidman, Robert Downey, Jr. "Attempting to explore famed photographer Arbus' artistic awakening in metaphoric terms, this film (set in 1958) follows her evolution from a stifled upper-class N.Y.C. wife & mother to an artist who's open to a world of society's outcasts that her parents taught her to shun.
Downey plays a fugitive from a freak show with a furry body who moves in upstairs. He's a fictitious character in this "imaginary portrait" that tells us a little about a very intersting woman. Ambitious and intriguing, with Kidman perfectly cast, but a strange, unsatisfying film. "Inspired By" Patricia Bosworth's biography of Arbus. KK: Is this the biography you are reading, or another one?
Despite several other reviews similar to the above at the time, I reallyl wanted to see this film. Because of Kidman's lead role, it recieved a lot of buzz at the time---which made its critical demise all the more devastating.
Even a three-line entry in one of those omnibus encyclopedias makes you want to know more about her: "DIANE ARBUS (1923-1971)" U. S. photographer noted for her black & white photographs of the strangeness of ordinary people, particularly children. Born Diane Nemerov, she died a suicide. Her autobiography, Diane Arbus, was published in 1972.
So-as you can see from the above, I am only superficially familiar with Ms. Arbus--and I am most interested in everything you glean from reading her biography. The comment that you are a "literary" Diane Arbus...please tell me more! As I said, endlessly fascinating and entertaining :)
Speaking of her photos of children, I recall seeing a stunning photograh of a family in the 1950s that had eleven or twelve girls--no boys. And they were all lined up by height wearing the same exact outfit. The photo was by Diane Arbus. Not sure if it was meant to look like a happy family photo, but in the hands of Ms. Arbus my recollection is of something akin to a German eugenics film from the early 20th century. I've never forgotten that photo. Strange, the effect of a single image...
***
"Touched By A Pigeon" is a perfect example of a story/"slice-of-life" that belongs in that book with 50 or 60 others!
Not only did I learn about NYC pigeons, but very funny as I've learned to expect from most of your writings. A pigeon that loses his will to live... pigeon pox!...and the sad reality of [ahem] pigeon suicide...?! [Ed: He is referencing a blog entry I wrote years ago called, "Touched By A Pigeon," about how a friend was teaching me how to ride a bike back when I lived in Hell's Kitchen. Whilst waiting for him to get the bike, I came across a neighbhorhood guy holding a pigeon. He explained there was nothign wrong with the bird, except it had lost its will to live. He had me pet it and it was soft like a bunny. A passerby noticed and screamed at how dirty it was and I was zapped back into reality and started itching and breaking out into hives. We left for our bike ride and an hour later while crossing Ninth Avenue on my way home, I saw it---dead in the middle of the road. And I just knew it walked into traffic on purpose.]
That's just your card! Let me get this in the mail now, and delve into your letter. Part II to follow shortly.
Take care and stay safe in the big bad city. Write when you can--more from me tomorrow.
Yours,
Michael
P.S. Are all your Guggenheim & MOMA parties "invitation" only? I imagine you know lots of people in your line of work...
* Nice by the way: Fountain House Collection to enlighten the attitudes regarding the mentally ill. [Ed.: He is referencing the notecard I sent; it was made by a non-profit involving mental health research.]
Books Written About These Inmates:
I specifically chose these people to write to without knowing very much about them except that they were called "sociopaths" by psychologists in their trials and that they were shown to have above average intelligence. They were known to be charming and good looking. I read just the basic information to know what they were convicted of and where they were being held. I specifically didn't want to read the books that were written about them and their crimes because I wanted to go in fresh and forge a pen pal relationship with them without knowing any of the back story. And that is what I did.
So now that I have a relationship with Pender, Swango, Whitaker and Smith, I decided to read the books written about them. I started with Ken Whitaker's(Bart's father) book, Murder By Family. Ken is a very religious man and the narrative is peppered with religious belief and sentiment. Juxtaposed with the incredibly intellectual voice Bart has, I noted how different father and son's styles were. Not too much stood out in the book except that towards the end Bart writes his father letters explaining his crime. I found it particularly interesting that he said something along the lines of, "I never respected people less smart than I am." It does seem from reading each of their writing, that Bart is way more eloquent, has a much bigger vocabulary and is far more well-read. The only other part that was really noteworthy was how Bart, in that typical sociopathic way, writes in circles about why he did this. His commentary about the "masks" he wore and the hole he had inside of him which made him incapable of feeling love, was enlightening.
Then I read James B. Stewart's bestseller, Blind Eye. Keep in mind I have already had a relationship with Swango for months before embarking on the reading of this book. I was really taken with how horrifying his actions and words were. I wanted to remember these things so they'd stick in my head when I read his letters. Swango writes about two letters a week to me, each around 10 pages.
The things that were particularly noteworthy about Swango were:
- Since he was very young he kept scrapbooks of clippings of murder, death and tragedy. Many people are quoted in this book as saying they'd see him cutting out articles about mass death with an eerie look of satisfaction on his face. He was also fascinated with serial killers. He was quoted as saying, "That's just great. I wish I had been there," in reaction to watching a story on the news about a man who went into a McDonalds and shot 21 people. "Every time I think of a good idea, someone beats me to it."
- He connected sex and death. He was quoted as saying, "Do you know what I'd like to do to you?" After describing in lurid detail what he called a "sexual fantasy" he said it would culminate with him plummeting a hatchet into the back of the woman's head.
- He was also quoted as saying, "The best thing about being a doctor is coming out of the ER with a hard-on to tell some parents that their kid died from head trauma."
- Swango said the ultimate call while being an EMT was to be called to the site of an accident in which a busload of children had been hit head on by a tractor trailer filled with gasoline. He said he'd like another bus to plow into the wreckage, causing a massive explosion throwing children's bodies into barbed wire fences.
- In this book, Swango also says, "Wouldn't that be great? To travel around the country killing people. Just moving on, killing some more--a great lifestyle!"
- He was married to a woman named Ruth Duma. The marriage lasted for 3 years.
- He said he hated fat people so much he dreamed of slicing them through with blades attached to his shoes.
- The book discusses how he was a big movie buff. So interesting that he still is. If you read his letters to me, they almost always discuss movies. Even many that he does not have the ability to see.
Probably the thing that stands out the most about this book, for me, is all the text about KK. Besides sharing her initials with me, she had the same look I do--the same coloring. She was supposedly very funny and Lucille Ball-like. My ex-husband Wm. used to actually call me "Lucy" because of sense of humor. Like me, she had been married before and her marriage only lasted a very short time. She had a very bad childhood. She kept a diary/journal during the last year of her life with Swango, chronicling events and her depression. She ended up killing herself. Once autopsied they found ample quantities of arsenic in her system that was said to explain her horrible migraines and breakdown.
I recently ordered three books on the Susan Smith murder case: One written by her mother, another written by her ex-husband and one written by a psychologist. I will write what stands out to me after I read them and get a few more letters from her.
There is currently no book about Pender yet, but she tells me she is working on one herself.
So now that I have a relationship with Pender, Swango, Whitaker and Smith, I decided to read the books written about them. I started with Ken Whitaker's(Bart's father) book, Murder By Family. Ken is a very religious man and the narrative is peppered with religious belief and sentiment. Juxtaposed with the incredibly intellectual voice Bart has, I noted how different father and son's styles were. Not too much stood out in the book except that towards the end Bart writes his father letters explaining his crime. I found it particularly interesting that he said something along the lines of, "I never respected people less smart than I am." It does seem from reading each of their writing, that Bart is way more eloquent, has a much bigger vocabulary and is far more well-read. The only other part that was really noteworthy was how Bart, in that typical sociopathic way, writes in circles about why he did this. His commentary about the "masks" he wore and the hole he had inside of him which made him incapable of feeling love, was enlightening.
Then I read James B. Stewart's bestseller, Blind Eye. Keep in mind I have already had a relationship with Swango for months before embarking on the reading of this book. I was really taken with how horrifying his actions and words were. I wanted to remember these things so they'd stick in my head when I read his letters. Swango writes about two letters a week to me, each around 10 pages.
The things that were particularly noteworthy about Swango were:
- Since he was very young he kept scrapbooks of clippings of murder, death and tragedy. Many people are quoted in this book as saying they'd see him cutting out articles about mass death with an eerie look of satisfaction on his face. He was also fascinated with serial killers. He was quoted as saying, "That's just great. I wish I had been there," in reaction to watching a story on the news about a man who went into a McDonalds and shot 21 people. "Every time I think of a good idea, someone beats me to it."
- He connected sex and death. He was quoted as saying, "Do you know what I'd like to do to you?" After describing in lurid detail what he called a "sexual fantasy" he said it would culminate with him plummeting a hatchet into the back of the woman's head.
- He was also quoted as saying, "The best thing about being a doctor is coming out of the ER with a hard-on to tell some parents that their kid died from head trauma."
- Swango said the ultimate call while being an EMT was to be called to the site of an accident in which a busload of children had been hit head on by a tractor trailer filled with gasoline. He said he'd like another bus to plow into the wreckage, causing a massive explosion throwing children's bodies into barbed wire fences.
- In this book, Swango also says, "Wouldn't that be great? To travel around the country killing people. Just moving on, killing some more--a great lifestyle!"
- He was married to a woman named Ruth Duma. The marriage lasted for 3 years.
- He said he hated fat people so much he dreamed of slicing them through with blades attached to his shoes.
- The book discusses how he was a big movie buff. So interesting that he still is. If you read his letters to me, they almost always discuss movies. Even many that he does not have the ability to see.
Probably the thing that stands out the most about this book, for me, is all the text about KK. Besides sharing her initials with me, she had the same look I do--the same coloring. She was supposedly very funny and Lucille Ball-like. My ex-husband Wm. used to actually call me "Lucy" because of sense of humor. Like me, she had been married before and her marriage only lasted a very short time. She had a very bad childhood. She kept a diary/journal during the last year of her life with Swango, chronicling events and her depression. She ended up killing herself. Once autopsied they found ample quantities of arsenic in her system that was said to explain her horrible migraines and breakdown.
I recently ordered three books on the Susan Smith murder case: One written by her mother, another written by her ex-husband and one written by a psychologist. I will write what stands out to me after I read them and get a few more letters from her.
There is currently no book about Pender yet, but she tells me she is working on one herself.
Cast of Characters:
I've decided to concentrate Letters from the Inside on these main prisoners. I have been posting letters from all and just wanted to take this opportunity to recap on who they are and why they are in prison.
1) Dr. Michael Swango - Swango was a doctor accused of killing up to 60 people via poison. He non-fatally poisoned even more. He is in prison in Colorado for life. There was a book written about him and his crimes called BLIND EYE by James B. Stewart. Click HERE for his Wikipedia entry.
2) Thomas Bart Whitaker - Whitaker is a young man accused of enlisting someone to kill his family. His father survived the attack and has very publicly forgiven him. Whitaker is currently on Death Row in Texas. He recently appeared on Oprah along with his father. His father wrote a book about Whitaker and his crime called: MURDER BY FAMILY Read a brief summary: HERE
3) Sarah Jo Pender - Pender is a woman who had her roommates killed. She was put in prison with a lengthy sentence. I believe eight years into serving her sentence she broke out of jail and was out on the lamb for months. America's Most Wanted profiled her and her escape and she was caught. She then appeared on the show discussing her crime. She is currently in prison for life in Indiana and serving a full year in isolation. You can read more about the case HERE
4)Susan Smith - Smith was convicted of killing her two young boys by putting them into her jeep and driving them into a lake. Read more HERE She is currently serving a life sentence in South Carolina with a possibility of parole in 2024.
***
In addition to these four main inmates, I also have written to:
- Richard Allen Davis - WIKIPEDIA ENTRY. He is currently serving life in California for kidnapping and killing 12-year old Polly Klauss. After receiving his first letter I decided to not to pursue writing back to him. Even so, he sent me another letter. I didn't respond.
- Raffaello Follieri - Most known for dating actress Anne Hathaway, Follieri got a four-year federal prison sentence for swindling people out of millions. I have decided not to include him in this project because he is not like the others. More HERE.
- Ann Miller Kontz - She was convicted for poisoning and killing her Aids-researcher husband. She is currently serving a 25-year sentence in North Carolina. You can read her story HERE
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Letters from the Outiside In, KK to Swango, #9 and #10
As I said before, I alternate between typing letters to prisoners and sending small handwritten cards. The typed ones I keep saved on my computer; the handwritten ones I do not have copies of. I won't post all I send to them, but occassionally I'll post what I have sent so you can see my tone and understand some of the topics they discuss in answer. So here are the two last ones I sent to Swango. I will post his letter of reply this week.
Hello Michael,
It is pouring out today. This is one of the few weekends I have nothing planned. I headed to the video store as I wanted to rent, I Have Loved You for So Long. Alas, the store didn’t have it, but it is my next Netflix coming and should be here Tuesday. Imagine my raised eyebrows when later, I opened your letter and saw you reference it. Likewise I was supposed to see Lymelife with a friend but he was detained at the airport and couldn’t make the movie. I will try to go next Friday to see that. It is the only movie currently in theaters I haven’t seen that I want to. Yesterday’s Netflix was Donkey Punch. Are you familiar with it? Three Irish girls are on vacation in Mallorca and meet 3 guys who take them on a yacht they work on. The girl gets accidently killed and the remaining ones battle it out. The boys want to dump her body overboard and say she was drinking and fell; the girls want to report the homicide.
On Saturdays I have a routine. At 8:30pm I walk the dog and pick up the first Sunday edition of the Times. Then I come upstairs and watch America’s Most Wanted and 48 Hour Mystery and onto Sat. Night Live if it isn’t a repeat. On the weekends I usually cook something big and special, but this weekend I’m not into it. I’ll just order something in. I think tonight maybe Peking Duck.
I finished reading the Diane Arbus biography—are you familiar with her and her photography---and tried to watch FUR a movie based on her life. It was so awful I stopped watching after 35 minutes. Ugh. Just ugh. I have to remember to Google her to see her famous photos. I would love to send you pictures from Cindy Sherman and Diane Arbus but right now my color printer doesn’t work and in black and white probably wouldn’t be as good. I may buy a new color printer in the next month or two so we’ll see…
I turn 39 next month. May 16th. I had this dream a few years ago that I was told I would die at 39. It keeps popping back into my head. I have some enemies out there…. I bought a ticket to see a Broadway show that I will see the week of my birthday. It is getting great reviews and a few friends saw it and loved it. It is called God of Carnage and stars James Gandolfini (of Sopranos fame), Hope Davis, Jeff Daniels & Marcia Gay Harden.
Here is the gist: Two ostensibly civilized married couples meet up to sort out a playground fight. The son of one couple (Jeff Daniels and Hope Davis) has broken two of the teeth of the son of another (James Gandolfini and Marcia Gay Harden). At first diplomatic niceties are observed, but as the meeting progresses and the rum flows, huge tensions emerge and the gloves come off, leaving more than just their liberal principles in tatters.
Funny you should mention M. Night Shmayalan. I LOVE all his movies. Most people have panned the last few, but I love him. He writes fairy tales for the old and disillusioned.
I would love to hear more about your incarceration. Why? What it is like there? I realize you are in for life, but if you could get out, what would you do? I have written to another prisoner who is in for life and she is not allowed TV, etc. It sounds like you have access to television and movies. You even mention the food isn’t awful. I suspect it all depends on which jail you are in, but from what I’ve read it is awful. What are your feelings about all of this. Clearly you are an extremely bright man, so you are very aware of the whys and hows and must have some serious feelings about this whole situation. You mentioned you can’t tell me certain things for legal reasons, and I understand about that. But tell me all you are allowed to.
Thank you for enclosing the clippings. I actually read that Times article about Netflix by Wilson when it came out. In this Sunday’s NYT one of my new clients is profiled in the real estate section. It is a very big deal and they are very happy about this.
I am enclosing another New Yorker article—this one written by Woody Allen about Bernie Madoff. It is funny.
I may want instantly on Netflix the old Paul Newman movie: The Drowning Pool (’75). Do you know it?
Are you familiar with the actor , writer and director Eric Schaeffer? He has a show on Showtime called, “I Can’t Believe I’m Still Single…” Prior to that he wrote and starred in a great show on F/X called Starved, a Seinfeldesque comedy centered around 4 NYers with eating disorders. He did six movies: My Life is in Turnaround, Fall, If Lucy Fell, Wirey Spindell, Never Again and most recently, Mind the Gap. I am friends with him and went on a few dates with him. I wrote a very interesting piece about how when I first saw Fall in the early 90s I told my friends I’d date him someday. They rolled their eyes. When I married my husband it turned out his friends were a band that did the music for Fall. Still, they long since lost touch. Then after my divorce, the first blind date I went on was with an audio engineer who was approached by Schaeffer to do audio for his latest movie. The date said Schaeffer was an asshole and wouldn’t give me his number. Thirteen years and 2 close calls but still no meeting. Finally my ex-husband told me about Eric’s new memoir, a book called, “I Can’t Believe I’m Still Single…” I messaged him on Myspace and we met and dated. I did some publicity for his book and we fizzled out. Then later while he was filming the series, I was actually included, mentioned on a few of the episodes. In one he calls me and you can hear my voice. Odd how life works. I got to go to the premiere of the show which was really fun. Anyway, wondered if you knew his work and what you thought of it. He has another season of his show coming out on Showtime.
I entered my dachshund, Mini, in a contest for Pet of the Month and he won! His picture will be in the paper starting on Thursday and run for 4 weeks. When it appears I will try to cut it out for you to see.
You asked about India. I wrote something about my trip that got published. I’ll paste it in here and sign off for now.
--Kelly
***
[Next letter I sent him.]
Hello Michael,
Just got your letter. Today is April 18th. In response to your letter, I have seen Tell No One. Great flick. Very spooky. I always see French movies like that. Love them. I am very familiar with KST’s work. She is such a good actress. I cannot, however, ever get into anything about vampires. I find that ridiculous, even if well-written. I am not about fantasy or willing suspension of disbelief. I have still not seen the Education of Charlie Banks. I think I’m opting to wait until it comes out on video in June.
As for the article I wrote with and about my husband, yes, we had a very volatile relationship once we lived together. Prior, things were very good. I am SO Type A---glad you can see that from my letters---and very anti-drug. That article, while harsh, was something Wm. willingly participated in and those quotes from him were verbatim. He and I had that type of dynamic. He sort of even liked being written about, even if unfavorably. We had similar senses of humor. One of the problems was that my ex-husband was not into reading, studying, etc. I am very exact, on top of bills and goals and quite neurotic. He is very laid back and likes to take shortcuts. Just two different types of people.
Now how about you? I asked in a previous letter---I’m assuming you haven’t gotten it yet---if you were married or had children. Prior to your incarceration did you date much? Did you have a “type?”
Are you familiar with David Sedaris’ books? If not, they are hysterically funny. He writes about his gay life, his wacky family, his travels, etc. I love his stuff. In fact, he just had another published this week in the New Yorker. I’d send it but I’m not sure how you feel about him. This one was about how he was traveling by train, years ago when smoking was acceptable, and how he met a low-life type man who he got a crush on.
In this letter I’m enclosing a piece from New York Magazine—a small snippet from Cindy Sherman, that photographer that I just saw the movie about. I wish you were familiar with her work, and as I said I will try to print some of her famous stuff out when I get access to a color printer. New York Magazine did an issue about famous people and their stories about the first week they moved to NYC. Cindy’s was interesting. I remember mine. The day I moved into NYC to a sixth floor walkup, I lost my job and my boyfriend. Typical NY story. NY knocks you on your ass and only the strong figure out a way to stay here. I’ll never leave. I also lose a bit of respect for those that leave.
I’m glad you appreciated Hell Hole. Clearly you know more about the jail experience than I ever will, but I found it interesting. How does your facility compare? Do you have friends there? Roommates? I want to hear more about what you experience in jail.
You mention a Cistercian monastery which made me wonder if you have a religion. What are your thoughts about God and religion?
I am not familiar with THE KINDLY ONES but will Google and find out what you are referencing.
I am also enclosing a clipping of my dog Mini and the article about him winning PET OF THE MONTH. Cheesy, but so cute.
Lastly, I’m enclosing a blurry snapshot of me I happened upon whilst cleaning out my desk drawer. I send it, even though it is a few years old, so you can see what I look like. I have tons of recent pictures of me on the computer, but again, no color printer, so this is one of the few hard copies I own, aside from a wedding picture, which I would send if you were interested in seeing it.
--Kelly
Hello Michael,
It is pouring out today. This is one of the few weekends I have nothing planned. I headed to the video store as I wanted to rent, I Have Loved You for So Long. Alas, the store didn’t have it, but it is my next Netflix coming and should be here Tuesday. Imagine my raised eyebrows when later, I opened your letter and saw you reference it. Likewise I was supposed to see Lymelife with a friend but he was detained at the airport and couldn’t make the movie. I will try to go next Friday to see that. It is the only movie currently in theaters I haven’t seen that I want to. Yesterday’s Netflix was Donkey Punch. Are you familiar with it? Three Irish girls are on vacation in Mallorca and meet 3 guys who take them on a yacht they work on. The girl gets accidently killed and the remaining ones battle it out. The boys want to dump her body overboard and say she was drinking and fell; the girls want to report the homicide.
On Saturdays I have a routine. At 8:30pm I walk the dog and pick up the first Sunday edition of the Times. Then I come upstairs and watch America’s Most Wanted and 48 Hour Mystery and onto Sat. Night Live if it isn’t a repeat. On the weekends I usually cook something big and special, but this weekend I’m not into it. I’ll just order something in. I think tonight maybe Peking Duck.
I finished reading the Diane Arbus biography—are you familiar with her and her photography---and tried to watch FUR a movie based on her life. It was so awful I stopped watching after 35 minutes. Ugh. Just ugh. I have to remember to Google her to see her famous photos. I would love to send you pictures from Cindy Sherman and Diane Arbus but right now my color printer doesn’t work and in black and white probably wouldn’t be as good. I may buy a new color printer in the next month or two so we’ll see…
I turn 39 next month. May 16th. I had this dream a few years ago that I was told I would die at 39. It keeps popping back into my head. I have some enemies out there…. I bought a ticket to see a Broadway show that I will see the week of my birthday. It is getting great reviews and a few friends saw it and loved it. It is called God of Carnage and stars James Gandolfini (of Sopranos fame), Hope Davis, Jeff Daniels & Marcia Gay Harden.
Here is the gist: Two ostensibly civilized married couples meet up to sort out a playground fight. The son of one couple (Jeff Daniels and Hope Davis) has broken two of the teeth of the son of another (James Gandolfini and Marcia Gay Harden). At first diplomatic niceties are observed, but as the meeting progresses and the rum flows, huge tensions emerge and the gloves come off, leaving more than just their liberal principles in tatters.
Funny you should mention M. Night Shmayalan. I LOVE all his movies. Most people have panned the last few, but I love him. He writes fairy tales for the old and disillusioned.
I would love to hear more about your incarceration. Why? What it is like there? I realize you are in for life, but if you could get out, what would you do? I have written to another prisoner who is in for life and she is not allowed TV, etc. It sounds like you have access to television and movies. You even mention the food isn’t awful. I suspect it all depends on which jail you are in, but from what I’ve read it is awful. What are your feelings about all of this. Clearly you are an extremely bright man, so you are very aware of the whys and hows and must have some serious feelings about this whole situation. You mentioned you can’t tell me certain things for legal reasons, and I understand about that. But tell me all you are allowed to.
Thank you for enclosing the clippings. I actually read that Times article about Netflix by Wilson when it came out. In this Sunday’s NYT one of my new clients is profiled in the real estate section. It is a very big deal and they are very happy about this.
I am enclosing another New Yorker article—this one written by Woody Allen about Bernie Madoff. It is funny.
I may want instantly on Netflix the old Paul Newman movie: The Drowning Pool (’75). Do you know it?
Are you familiar with the actor , writer and director Eric Schaeffer? He has a show on Showtime called, “I Can’t Believe I’m Still Single…” Prior to that he wrote and starred in a great show on F/X called Starved, a Seinfeldesque comedy centered around 4 NYers with eating disorders. He did six movies: My Life is in Turnaround, Fall, If Lucy Fell, Wirey Spindell, Never Again and most recently, Mind the Gap. I am friends with him and went on a few dates with him. I wrote a very interesting piece about how when I first saw Fall in the early 90s I told my friends I’d date him someday. They rolled their eyes. When I married my husband it turned out his friends were a band that did the music for Fall. Still, they long since lost touch. Then after my divorce, the first blind date I went on was with an audio engineer who was approached by Schaeffer to do audio for his latest movie. The date said Schaeffer was an asshole and wouldn’t give me his number. Thirteen years and 2 close calls but still no meeting. Finally my ex-husband told me about Eric’s new memoir, a book called, “I Can’t Believe I’m Still Single…” I messaged him on Myspace and we met and dated. I did some publicity for his book and we fizzled out. Then later while he was filming the series, I was actually included, mentioned on a few of the episodes. In one he calls me and you can hear my voice. Odd how life works. I got to go to the premiere of the show which was really fun. Anyway, wondered if you knew his work and what you thought of it. He has another season of his show coming out on Showtime.
I entered my dachshund, Mini, in a contest for Pet of the Month and he won! His picture will be in the paper starting on Thursday and run for 4 weeks. When it appears I will try to cut it out for you to see.
You asked about India. I wrote something about my trip that got published. I’ll paste it in here and sign off for now.
--Kelly
***
[Next letter I sent him.]
Hello Michael,
Just got your letter. Today is April 18th. In response to your letter, I have seen Tell No One. Great flick. Very spooky. I always see French movies like that. Love them. I am very familiar with KST’s work. She is such a good actress. I cannot, however, ever get into anything about vampires. I find that ridiculous, even if well-written. I am not about fantasy or willing suspension of disbelief. I have still not seen the Education of Charlie Banks. I think I’m opting to wait until it comes out on video in June.
As for the article I wrote with and about my husband, yes, we had a very volatile relationship once we lived together. Prior, things were very good. I am SO Type A---glad you can see that from my letters---and very anti-drug. That article, while harsh, was something Wm. willingly participated in and those quotes from him were verbatim. He and I had that type of dynamic. He sort of even liked being written about, even if unfavorably. We had similar senses of humor. One of the problems was that my ex-husband was not into reading, studying, etc. I am very exact, on top of bills and goals and quite neurotic. He is very laid back and likes to take shortcuts. Just two different types of people.
Now how about you? I asked in a previous letter---I’m assuming you haven’t gotten it yet---if you were married or had children. Prior to your incarceration did you date much? Did you have a “type?”
Are you familiar with David Sedaris’ books? If not, they are hysterically funny. He writes about his gay life, his wacky family, his travels, etc. I love his stuff. In fact, he just had another published this week in the New Yorker. I’d send it but I’m not sure how you feel about him. This one was about how he was traveling by train, years ago when smoking was acceptable, and how he met a low-life type man who he got a crush on.
In this letter I’m enclosing a piece from New York Magazine—a small snippet from Cindy Sherman, that photographer that I just saw the movie about. I wish you were familiar with her work, and as I said I will try to print some of her famous stuff out when I get access to a color printer. New York Magazine did an issue about famous people and their stories about the first week they moved to NYC. Cindy’s was interesting. I remember mine. The day I moved into NYC to a sixth floor walkup, I lost my job and my boyfriend. Typical NY story. NY knocks you on your ass and only the strong figure out a way to stay here. I’ll never leave. I also lose a bit of respect for those that leave.
I’m glad you appreciated Hell Hole. Clearly you know more about the jail experience than I ever will, but I found it interesting. How does your facility compare? Do you have friends there? Roommates? I want to hear more about what you experience in jail.
You mention a Cistercian monastery which made me wonder if you have a religion. What are your thoughts about God and religion?
I am not familiar with THE KINDLY ONES but will Google and find out what you are referencing.
I am also enclosing a clipping of my dog Mini and the article about him winning PET OF THE MONTH. Cheesy, but so cute.
Lastly, I’m enclosing a blurry snapshot of me I happened upon whilst cleaning out my desk drawer. I send it, even though it is a few years old, so you can see what I look like. I have tons of recent pictures of me on the computer, but again, no color printer, so this is one of the few hard copies I own, aside from a wedding picture, which I would send if you were interested in seeing it.
--Kelly
