Letters from the Inside, Michael Swango, #104

Dear Kelly,
Three letters to you in eight days! Another Festivus miracle!

Speaking of which: It is December and fett of snow is falling in the Rockies and a lovely blast of frigid air is coming your way for the weekend. We both know how much you look forward to that... so perhaps a few words on the holiday season.

You don't seem to me to be someone overly sentimental or enthusiastic about Christmas. But neither do you seem like a grinch (Trust me I have been friends with an/or dated both extremes as I'm sure you have.) Am I at least close? I know the bass parts of many Christmas carols.

Would it surprise you to know that I was a "gleeker"? And sang in Christmas Messiah choirs multiple times as a baritone/bass?

Three absolutely favorite Christmas carols: O HOLY NIGHT, ANGELS WE HAVE HEARD ON HIGH, DO YOU HEAR WHAT I HEAR?


Possibly the most haunting Christmas song, or any song for that matter is O HOLY NIGHT! I'veheard many amazing renditions--one that comes to mind, believe it or not, was in an episode of NIP/TUCK...on Christmas Eve, Julia is considering an abortion for her child who has a serious birth defect...she in the clinic pondering as the tenor Aaron Neville singsl O HOLY NIGHT! Absolutely chilling...stunning.


Would love for you to listen to it. How difficult is it to access an FX episode from NIP/TUCK from 4 or 5 years ago online?

It's good you are the "cool aunt/godmother" to your goddaughter...I think having a child for children around for the holidays keeps most adults from going off the rails this time of year. Except of course thosewho kill their children around the holidays. You and I have never discussed the horrifying yet fascinating phenomenon of "Family Annihilators". With your interest in sociopaths, as subject you should research at some point.

OK that footnote takes up out of the holiday spirit so back to your amazing letters and the myriad of topics to discuss:

never thank you for your marvelously detailed yet concise analysis/summary of the film CATFISH. As you said: "cringeworthy and so very sad." But also incredibly fascinating and a metaphor for the internet age.

You have no idea how much I appreciate your occasional film summaries of movies that most people will neither see or find interesting. Thanks again.

> Before I forget I must ask you a key question on the background of your intriguing work of fiction---the Modern Love proposed column: It states that John became HIV positive in 1985. This raises a host of questions which may help to illuminate the later sociopathic/murderous behavior:

> How did J become infected? Despite the later waves of infection in drug users and of course the pandemic amongst heterosexuals in sub-Saharan Africa...In the US in 1985 fay sex or contaminated blood products. Remember, HIV/AIDS had been causing morbidity/mortality for years before a test was found to detect the virus in blood and blood products.

As you know, this is a subject I know something about and have studied...You might recall the almost incomprehensively tragic case of Elizabeth Glaser...wife of Starsky and Hutch actor Paul Michael Glaser. She contracted HIV from a blood transfusion in the '80s, passed it to both of her children and all three died of AIDS in the years when the only treatment was AZT.

My point again, how did J get it? Perhaps via an HIV woman who didn't tell him? or was it gay sex or a transfusion before anyone knew better?

Also Just how many exposed women are we talking about? Dozens? Scores? Hundreds? Many men and women infected in the 80s and 90s died. Kelly, did his partners?

Final question: Did J offer no clues at all? The triple cocktail/retroviaral treatment is rigorous and demanding. Multiple pills, mulitple times a day, every day.

A difficult thing to hide from a sexual partner. But obviously not impossible....

And there are, of course, side effects---also difficult to hide. But not impossible...
KK there are so many levels to this story. Again, if the ability and willingness to turn the story into a novel is ever there (and legal roadblocks removed) I would love to contribute knowledge of HIV/AIDS and understanding of the sociopathic mind.

And once again...and I will repeat it as often as necessary,you have the total package of writing skills needed for that project, and many others/PLUS access to technology to ease the process and contacts in publishing and in NYC.

I remain furious at J for his deep mistrust and fear he instilled on his innocent victim. I feel for you so much. I am very serious.

Please describe your "fictional" ideas on how he became infected. Surelyl there are far more than the one other woman you mentioned, Jenia.


Still one more final note: I imagine the psychological impact of discovering you were HIV + in 1985. I have not only read many personal accounts but have talked to many gay men who were positive early on, but survivied into the late 90s. Initially a death sentence, then borrowed time, then...

Once I know more--further discussion of what might be in J's mind...how a sociopath would perceive the court situation and his attitude towards his nemesis (Imagine what he must want to do to you. I will---at least try.

***

Just so you know: As I got through these letters, I am writing down specific items and points to discuss further and in more detail.

The possible writing projects are one of these items.

> if the above project on John ever took shape, a chapter on the spiderlike way that unsuspecting women can be drawn into the complex and sophisticated and amoral web of a man with sociopathic tendencies.

> AND the Big Three!!! It is an awesome concept, and OMG! Kelly, you've been writing about it for 11 years. This book would write itself, KK. I will think seriously about chapters/order/etc. and send the breakdown as I see it. One man's opinion anyway.

Still working on that letter of yours I mentioned in my last letter. Hope I did't nbore you with the questions and detaisl on the entire J situation. It is something we must discuss further and a story that I believe needs to be told in a novel in great detail.

Must get this in the mail--another letter to follow, hopefully a bit more concise but still in depth.

Just read a brilliant review of the Black Swan. Soundsl ike Aronofsky has made a film worth seeing. And more you know Natalie Portmanis getting raves reviews. And one of my favorite actresses--Winona Ryder--is also in the film.

So totally sounds like a film to see. I hope someone does a novelization of the film.

Thinking of you sunshine--stay warm in your nest!

XOXO Take care and write soon.

Yours,

Michael