Letters from the Inside, Michael Swango, #84&5

A few entries back I spoke about a letter sent to Swango that [BridgetJonesing] actually wrote and suggested I send. He was clearly titilated and spoke about it at length in his previously posted letter. In these two subsequent letters, he mentions it again. I will not be scanning them as they are long and filled with the mundane, so instead, I will just type in the more noteworthy portions. Warning: His letter is extremely sexual.

Hello Storm Cloud (per your suggestion)!

See? It just doesn't have the same effect. Sounds like the name of a child born to hippie paretns in 1970 who had set up a commune on a Native American reservation.

[Ed.: redacting Iron Man 2 commentary.]

So KK--you are now two days into your 41st year. I know you said you had no plans, but I can't believe that one or more of your friends would not do something for your 40th. This is when you need a couple of GBFs (Gay Best Friends) to totally boost your spirits and provide hunky disease-free, vasceomized uber-male to totally "do you" every which way to Sunday---with lots of hot orgasmic sex to of all varieties. OR they could take you to a Broadway show, I suppose...

As I said in my post-birthday note: your 40s will be fantastic if you allow them to happy: economically, emotionally, and sexually. Keep up the yoga--it can do wonders for the last two. When you find the right man to share your body with, he will love your ability to bend and twist and... As will you!

[Ed.: I have repeatedly told him to refrain from any sexual references, commentary or discussion.]

Unless you mentioned "Amir" in your incomplete letter (I await the missing pages or everything you can remember that you wrote), you did not mention him in your other letters. Do I are to know? Is the Pope Catholic? Does a bear "do it" in the woods? Of course I want to know! I love hearing about your dates and infatuations--it's like Catherine Keener channeling LIndsay Lohan!

Super dumb lovesick..PINING. So who is he, where did you meet him, you clearly like him, does he like you? Or only as a "friend"? Is there hope for a deeper relationship in the future?

[Ed.: He writes out the lyrics to the Grease song with the chorus: "Tell Me More."]



Actually in keeping with your adorable teenage girl crush motif, let me ask a Seinfeld questoin and a Chelsea Lately answer:

SEIN: Ok, you like him but do you like him like him?
CH: Do you want penetration with him. Have you imagined penetration with him?

By the way, you fit in with my theory (still a work in progress) that every adult man and woman has some amount of teenager within them. It is essential to life. Me for instance: I watch Gossip Girl,90201 (OMG!) and of course Vampire Diaries.

[Ed.: I am redacting LOST commentary.]

Your court hallway encounter with your "sociopath" sounded genuinely creepy. More than the actual events of his interactions with you (although I want to know every detail when you are able to discuss it...) I am fascinated by your very first interactions with him. How you met him; what you thought of him at first; when you first realized there was something "off".

You've never said if you two had intimate sexual relations, although it seems likely given how close you were to him and for how long. If so--when you can discuss it--I will have some very specific questions which I hope by then you will feel "open" enough to answer, without holding back.

See what you are able to draw from me, Kelly? My God, if the man (men?) who captures your heart---if you are able to draw that much from his mind and body--you will not only be conversing 24/7 but you will be very pregnant!

[Ed.: redacting his closing which references more tv shows.]