[Check out his latest blog entry: www.minutesbeforesix.blogspot.com]
Dear Kelly,
Well, I am relieved to hear that the dreaded swine flu has departed for whatever third-world cesspool it spawned in (Alaska, apparently), and that you are feeling much better. So far, we are managing to avoid that particular pandemic, which is fortunate because UTMB has already stated that they have no intention of paying the cost for the two drugs known to be effective in combating H1N1. Alas, the pandemic of smug idiots is still ravaging us unmercifully: the Muslims are nearly insufferable in this regard, going on and on about how all of this proved that heaven indeed hates ham. If I had the ability, I would gorge myself on BLTs and Jack Daniels in the dayroom, wearing a t-shirt which states, "For Every Pig You Don't Eat, I Will Eat Three." Of all of the animals that should have missed the mythical ark, pigs have to be way down on the list. Far lower than Noah himself, at any rate.
Anyways, its 430 in the bloody ante meridien, and I haven't slept in two days. I've always had a touch of insomnia, but sometimes it comes on with a vengeance. Not really sure why. At least it is quiet at this hour, which is rarity. Our cells are sufficiently distant from each other that in order to have a conversation with your neighbor, you must shout. This gets very annoying, as you can no doubt imagine. I buy a lot of earplugs. The response to the psych report has been highly elucidating. To be honest, it really wasn't all that unpleasant to post the thing, because there is a massive difference between the man that was, and the human being that I am now. I was incredibly amused by the whole "bi" issue for a number of reasons. First off, I am not "bi" or "gay," that was all the result of this psychologist being obsessed with the idea that I must have been molested as a child. he would take whatever comment was discussed, and then run it through the filter of his Freudian nonsense, and out popped the results. You have to understand an additional point: in the South in general, and in Texas in particular, if you are accepting of gays, this means that you ARE gay, in the minds of the rednecks. I've never cared what two people choose to do with each other, so long as they are both there by choice. Period. I could have edited all of that stuff out of the report, but I decided that it would be useful in seeing who my real friends were. I have actually had people tell me that they no longer want to write me anymore, and I don't suppose I have to tell you that such people will not be missed. Also, its been something of test for myself. I've always told myself that I didn't care about the homosexuality issue, and there is this very hetero/manly desire in me to run out there and shout, "I'm not gay, you idiots!" If I can resist doing this, though, I truly prove to myself that my progressive ideals are firmly rooted, and not simply a desire to be trendy. Most importantly, however, is the fact that for all of my life I cared what EVERYONE thought about me on EVERY issue, and now...well now the only judge that matters is myself. So if the world wants to think something, what of it? The world is largely populated by cretins, and I will not allow their pathetic attempts at judgement to hurt me any longer. I can look in the mirror, and that is more important to me.
Haha, yes, I do suppose the ED issue was a little more accurate, but I will say that I was putting about an ounce of crystal meth into my body every week, and that tends to have that effect. I'm not proud of that, but we all ultimately gravitate towards the things which make us feel more comfortable in our skin.
Meth made me feel even-keeled and capable, and allowed me to do the things that I needed to do. My whole family (minus me, of course) took ADD drugs, which are really just legal speed, for the same reasons. It helped them feel more like the person that they felt was needed. I am not proud of this, but I am certain that I would have killed myself in high school if it were not for illegal drugs. Maybe that would have been best, but that is a conclusion that I have come to thanks ot the clarity of hindsight. I didn't know what would happen later. Anyway. The recommendations of the doctor have not been listened to by the psych department here. The only drugs they are going to give me are psychotropics like lithium or haldol, which are designed to make zombies of men. They have my body, my life. They will not have my mind. That is mine, and they will have to kill me before they have any claim on my will. All of that psych stuff would have been required in most states in a capital murder trial. Not in Texas. They gleefully kill men on a monthly basis who have diseases which make them constitutionally unkillable, but they are never diagnosed. That is simply the way things are. If you knew about half of the shady shit that went down in my trial, you would be appalled. That is not really here nor there, though. The report was a portion of my writ of habeus corpus, which may affect my sentence, in that it might grant me a new punishment phase. Don't hold your breath. The CCA really doesn't care about such things. You asked what my Dad felt about the reporter, and I do not know. The last time we talked about my state habeus, he commented that he didn't think he would read it. It is hard for him to see the injustice in all of this, I think, because he has ultimately supported the right all of his life. (And, I might add, still does, though I think I have managed to moderate him a little. In his defense, I don't think he was ever one of those believers who felt that liberals were the spawn of Satan, which is good because I have become a pretty radical socialist.)
Don't worry about the misunderstanding regarding posting my letters. Probably my fault. It just surprised me a little, for the reasons I listed in my last letter. On that note: Howdy to all of the extra eyes reading this. Sorry this is not more interesting. I secretly think Kelly is using me as filler to make her own writing more exceptional looking. :) It is ultimately very important to understand one's place in the universe, no?
That clip you sent me from urbanbaby.com blog (jesus f-ing christ, what will they come up with next?) pretty much proved my point about Greshams Law being alive and well on the internet. That there are people with sufficient free-time on their hands to even bother populating a site like this makes me whish that the delusions of the eschatologists were in fact really coming to pass. I've never hit a woman in my life, but these people need some sort of shocking event in their lives to snap them out of this idiocy. (Although I admit I did find it amusing that Debussy and Duchamp got somehow switched about.) Somewhat less entertaining was the page of comments on the effect Mr. Madoff and his bit of infamy had on their lives. Very sad, although I still believe that only a food is ever really shocked and surprised by anything which happens in this world. My heart goes out to those people, nonetheless. I would gladly trade places with him, though, as federal prisons have about a million more luxuries than we are allowed.
Not much going on around here, as usual. We came off a lockdown two weeks ago. There was no stated reason for this lockdown, so it wasn't something specific like the cell phone mess.
They do this every six months, to track down contraband and to vent all of the mean, piggy instincts they manage to mainly keep under wraps the rest of the year. The wielding of arbitrary power is a very potent drug, Kelly and they are loathe to part with it. It is true that random beatings have become somewhat more rare than they once were, but I am confident that this has less to do with any changes in the l aw and in some form of ethical evolution, and everything to do with the fact that the guards themselves have grown fatter, lazier and less capable of doing physical damage to any of us. You will NEVER see a pig take on a con by himself. Its always done in groups. 30 years ago, those groups consisted of 4 or 5 guards, which was all that was necessary. Now, they need more, and they always wear their goon suits and wield their shields. They won't even rush a prisoner uncles he has been coated in CS/CN gas first. I have chosen to make physical violence anathema to me (save for the obvious situation of self-defense), but it is hard for me to say that other men choose the same, as some are picked on and harassed by the system for years. We are all of us just mammals, and if you prod any mammal hard enough, they are going to explode eventually.
What's new in NYC? Made it to the pool yet? Did you end up hoping on stage for that Moth Story Slam on Achilles Heels? I hope that you got picked, and that you enjoyed it. I still say that I could never do something like that. Some flowers just prefer the shade, some the spotlight.
I went to the clinic yesterday here on the unit, to use the video-conferencing equipment. I was supposed to speak with one of the surgeons who operated on me, but it didn't work out as planned. The X-Ray tech here at Polunsky took off for a month, so the doctor got pissed that we were wasting his precious time scheduling a consult without even bothering to get a film made. "Excuse me, nurse, what was your name? Ok, Nurse X, do you see these spectacles? Do they appear to have any magical X-Rayin' properties? No? Then I guess that MEANS I CAN"T SEE HIS DAMNED BONES FROM HERE!!!" He went on like this for about 90 seconds, during which time I could not resist smiling. I mean, how long have I been complaining that these people were criminal in the way we are treated? Its nice to be vindicated, even fi it is only by a fellow employee of the Beast.
All right, I guess I'm going to try to get some sleep. I feel like I can maybe pull it off, but I've felt like this before, only to end up staring at the ceiling for a few hours. I hope that this finds you well, and are still considering my offer to use you as an Anti-Palin device, considering the superhuman powers you developed on your trip up north. Until next time,
Thomas
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Monday, August 3, 2009
Letters from the Inside, Sarah Pender, #12
Dear Kelly,
Thank you for the photos and postcards from Alaska! So beautiful--the landscape. Did you larn about the glaciers and such while you were on your trip? Like, I know that a really long time ago, (during the Ice Ages?) that the temps dropped and these huge glaciers were formed. For whatever reason, they began to move-and formed mountain ranges and lots of landscape from their massive size. Are all of Alaska's mountinas formed by the glaciers? I saw people in light jackets in one postcard--what's the summer temps up there in the day? I heard the days get real long in one season, where there's nearly no night, because of how the earth is tilted. And in the opposite season they have only a few hours of sunlight. What was significantly different about the environment there that you noticed? The architecture of the waterside village on stilts reminds me of an east coat village I drove through once. Isnt' it funny how architecture and use of color speaks loudly about a population? That's one think I liked about Chicago. It evolved, so there's many different gruops, styles, cultures, and architecture, etc.
Your photos are lovely--you are so pretty. You remind me of my sister Jeni. Growing up, she was the pretty, blonde, thin, older sister and I was, well, I wasn't. I didn't consider myself to be "pretty" until maybe five years ago. I got that I had to quit being so damned self conscious and pursue myown interests and voila! I got comfortable with myself. Beauty is so much an inner thing. There are these parodies of 1950s-type advertisements and one of them has this old-fashioned chick surrounded by lipsticks, perfumes, face powder and it reads:
"Inner Beauty Won't Get You Laid."
Funny. I laughed but I disagree. It might take a little longer but I bet the quality is better. Shallow people suck. and the really sexy, self centered shallow ones are nice to look at, but who wants a selfish lover? I'm in it to get pleasure, not be used as a pleasure machine.
Rant over.
I'm glad you ate all that good food and gained 8lbs (but I'm pretty sure it is just water weight from PMS) because sometimes we need to indulge, dammit.
Your friend from Canada should be there this week. Fun! What exciting adventures are you having? With so much crammed in NYC, the possibilities are endless.
I'm listening to David Drummon growl that sexy voice on the radio. Usually, the first time I hear a Disturbed song, I'm like ACK! Then the 2nd listening is more like Ya! Rock on!
Victoria, BC sounded LOVELY! Just my style. My Dad lives in Seattle. He moved there about four years ago and says it's the greatest place he's ever been. The people, scenery, cleanliness, ambiance. I imagine the whole NW US and SW Canada are like that.
All in all, the trip sounded fun, relaxing and enjoyable, except for your "strange" boat-mates. Do you honestly think everyone else is strange, or perhaps they occur that way out of cultural differences. Admittedly, the Texas teacher wearing (this cracked me up!) serial killer glasses was annoying, but more out of a social manners issues. (He WAS strange.)
You are like many New Yorkers in a city crammed with eople, you enjoy your privacy. He's from WIDE OPEN Texas, where perhaps his closest neighbor is 3 miles down the road and his best friend is a sheep named Darlin. You're a NY liberal, he's a red-blooded Republican. The only gun violence he knows about is when Jethro shoots off his brother's toe while cleaning Betsy, his favorite hunting rifle. Perhaps his wife was glad he found other people to go bother?
I hate that he invaded your peaceful moment, and ran you off. I would have explained, "Hey, I got here at 6am to relax in quiet, alone and soak up some tranquility. Can we chat some other time?" That's not rude. It's saving your sanity and teaching him to match nonverbal communication with a clear message. Otherwise, "Can you please not talk to me?"
I loved the anonymous Bingo psychologist for her candor. Sometimes, people just don't get it.
Have you gone to Happy Hour with your new client yet?
You said you were heavy with the feeling of doom. Any particular reason? I have been down he last 2 weeks but that's a whole other letter.
For now, It's midnight, and I'm pooped. Take care. Hope you are back to your pre-cruise health and weight!
---Sarah---
Thank you for the photos and postcards from Alaska! So beautiful--the landscape. Did you larn about the glaciers and such while you were on your trip? Like, I know that a really long time ago, (during the Ice Ages?) that the temps dropped and these huge glaciers were formed. For whatever reason, they began to move-and formed mountain ranges and lots of landscape from their massive size. Are all of Alaska's mountinas formed by the glaciers? I saw people in light jackets in one postcard--what's the summer temps up there in the day? I heard the days get real long in one season, where there's nearly no night, because of how the earth is tilted. And in the opposite season they have only a few hours of sunlight. What was significantly different about the environment there that you noticed? The architecture of the waterside village on stilts reminds me of an east coat village I drove through once. Isnt' it funny how architecture and use of color speaks loudly about a population? That's one think I liked about Chicago. It evolved, so there's many different gruops, styles, cultures, and architecture, etc.
Your photos are lovely--you are so pretty. You remind me of my sister Jeni. Growing up, she was the pretty, blonde, thin, older sister and I was, well, I wasn't. I didn't consider myself to be "pretty" until maybe five years ago. I got that I had to quit being so damned self conscious and pursue myown interests and voila! I got comfortable with myself. Beauty is so much an inner thing. There are these parodies of 1950s-type advertisements and one of them has this old-fashioned chick surrounded by lipsticks, perfumes, face powder and it reads:
"Inner Beauty Won't Get You Laid."
Funny. I laughed but I disagree. It might take a little longer but I bet the quality is better. Shallow people suck. and the really sexy, self centered shallow ones are nice to look at, but who wants a selfish lover? I'm in it to get pleasure, not be used as a pleasure machine.
Rant over.
I'm glad you ate all that good food and gained 8lbs (but I'm pretty sure it is just water weight from PMS) because sometimes we need to indulge, dammit.
Your friend from Canada should be there this week. Fun! What exciting adventures are you having? With so much crammed in NYC, the possibilities are endless.
I'm listening to David Drummon growl that sexy voice on the radio. Usually, the first time I hear a Disturbed song, I'm like ACK! Then the 2nd listening is more like Ya! Rock on!
Victoria, BC sounded LOVELY! Just my style. My Dad lives in Seattle. He moved there about four years ago and says it's the greatest place he's ever been. The people, scenery, cleanliness, ambiance. I imagine the whole NW US and SW Canada are like that.
All in all, the trip sounded fun, relaxing and enjoyable, except for your "strange" boat-mates. Do you honestly think everyone else is strange, or perhaps they occur that way out of cultural differences. Admittedly, the Texas teacher wearing (this cracked me up!) serial killer glasses was annoying, but more out of a social manners issues. (He WAS strange.)
You are like many New Yorkers in a city crammed with eople, you enjoy your privacy. He's from WIDE OPEN Texas, where perhaps his closest neighbor is 3 miles down the road and his best friend is a sheep named Darlin. You're a NY liberal, he's a red-blooded Republican. The only gun violence he knows about is when Jethro shoots off his brother's toe while cleaning Betsy, his favorite hunting rifle. Perhaps his wife was glad he found other people to go bother?
I hate that he invaded your peaceful moment, and ran you off. I would have explained, "Hey, I got here at 6am to relax in quiet, alone and soak up some tranquility. Can we chat some other time?" That's not rude. It's saving your sanity and teaching him to match nonverbal communication with a clear message. Otherwise, "Can you please not talk to me?"
I loved the anonymous Bingo psychologist for her candor. Sometimes, people just don't get it.
Have you gone to Happy Hour with your new client yet?
You said you were heavy with the feeling of doom. Any particular reason? I have been down he last 2 weeks but that's a whole other letter.
For now, It's midnight, and I'm pooped. Take care. Hope you are back to your pre-cruise health and weight!
---Sarah---
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Letters from the Inside, Michael Swango, #37
Dear KK---
Sorry for my somewhat hit & miss correspondence this week and (possibly) next week. Every few months I have some legal work/letters that need to be done--obviously that takes priority. I compartmentalize fairly well; "normal" in short order. Needless to say, what passes for "normal" under these circumstances is anything but...
Back to your initial "post-Alaska" letters later. First, a few items of interest from the past couple of weeks:
* Your will love this! Remember your blog/column "Calling all Kellys"? Well, google the name "Kelly Hildebrand" and your will find a woman who hunted for a man with the same name on-line/and married him! I heard the story on one of those entertainment details. Let me know, please. Talk about life imitating blog...
--Although it sounds like a classic "chic flick", "Julie & Julia" certainly has star power, with Meryl Streep & your fave Amy Adams. I'm sure it will find its niche-if not more.
--A film, adaptation of the late David Foster Wallace's "Brief Interviews With Hideous Men" is in the works. Trying to adapt an author of Wallace's complexity certainly seems like a challenge.
Actually, it's more than "in the works". Scheduled for U.S. release in September. Two familiar names: Directorial debut of John Krasinski" from the "Office" and stars Julianne Nicholson [Wheeler on "L&O CRIMINT" as they student interviewing men for a thesis.
--Over the weekend heard another good review of "Humpday". It emphasized that despite the plot line this is not a film about sex. Praised the three leads: the two male friends plus the wife of one of them. They also mentioned its "Mumblecore" pedigree.
--Same show: Split reviews on "SHRINK" but good reviews for Kevin Spacey's performance.
>One more film note: Tepid enclosed review of the French film "Girl From Monaco" But: Roger Ebert and your own "Village Voice" praised the film.
>Also enclosed/a somewhat unusual offering: The Wall Street Journal's art Francis Bacon Retrospective. Extremely well-written. He's not a big fan.
***
ALASKA: Glad to hear the cruise ship was so utterly pristine. No doubt all lines since those highly publicized outbreaks of illness aboard several ships in the past 2-3 years.
If indeed you did contract the "Swing Flu Variant" -you might be fortunate come the fall & winter. Predication's are for the swine flu to come back with a vengeance. I don't know if having it now will produce full immunity, especially if it mutates, as influenza, tends to do--but it certainly can't hurt to have at least some of the antibodies in your system.
You have no idea how much I wish you could be more "open" and much less inhibited. We run into sooo many roadblocks and sooo many truly enlightening and revealing discussions and subjects cannot even be approached- let alone explored in the depths & detail they deserve. So-a plateau is reached. Know that if or when your level of "comfort ability" increases, your will not be disappointed. And it will open up some must personal and fascinating exchanges between us. C'est la vie...but can be sooo much more.
[What is most interesting & intriguing is that both males & females with whom I correspond or have written to in the past are always totally open in all matters & subjects-precisely because of the situation. So your unwillingness or inability to be more open and more willing to explore the more personal and sensual side of what it means to be human is all the more puzzling. Again-if that changes a new level of knowledge of each of us awaits us both.]
"Correspond" is such an inexact word-writing can be so rich & rewarding & satisfying when you let it lead where it leads...
***
Must get this in the mail. "Float Trip from Hell" and "Don't Mess With TX" to follow.
You take care of yourself in your post-swine flu recovery, and write when you can. I'm sure you're still getting caught up on everything.
Hope you can find some of that elusive sunshine. Thinking of you...
Yours,
Michael
Sorry for my somewhat hit & miss correspondence this week and (possibly) next week. Every few months I have some legal work/letters that need to be done--obviously that takes priority. I compartmentalize fairly well; "normal" in short order. Needless to say, what passes for "normal" under these circumstances is anything but...
Back to your initial "post-Alaska" letters later. First, a few items of interest from the past couple of weeks:
* Your will love this! Remember your blog/column "Calling all Kellys"? Well, google the name "Kelly Hildebrand" and your will find a woman who hunted for a man with the same name on-line/and married him! I heard the story on one of those entertainment details. Let me know, please. Talk about life imitating blog...
--Although it sounds like a classic "chic flick", "Julie & Julia" certainly has star power, with Meryl Streep & your fave Amy Adams. I'm sure it will find its niche-if not more.
--A film, adaptation of the late David Foster Wallace's "Brief Interviews With Hideous Men" is in the works. Trying to adapt an author of Wallace's complexity certainly seems like a challenge.
Actually, it's more than "in the works". Scheduled for U.S. release in September. Two familiar names: Directorial debut of John Krasinski" from the "Office" and stars Julianne Nicholson [Wheeler on "L&O CRIMINT" as they student interviewing men for a thesis.
--Over the weekend heard another good review of "Humpday". It emphasized that despite the plot line this is not a film about sex. Praised the three leads: the two male friends plus the wife of one of them. They also mentioned its "Mumblecore" pedigree.
--Same show: Split reviews on "SHRINK" but good reviews for Kevin Spacey's performance.
>One more film note: Tepid enclosed review of the French film "Girl From Monaco" But: Roger Ebert and your own "Village Voice" praised the film.
>Also enclosed/a somewhat unusual offering: The Wall Street Journal's art Francis Bacon Retrospective. Extremely well-written. He's not a big fan.
***
ALASKA: Glad to hear the cruise ship was so utterly pristine. No doubt all lines since those highly publicized outbreaks of illness aboard several ships in the past 2-3 years.
If indeed you did contract the "Swing Flu Variant" -you might be fortunate come the fall & winter. Predication's are for the swine flu to come back with a vengeance. I don't know if having it now will produce full immunity, especially if it mutates, as influenza, tends to do--but it certainly can't hurt to have at least some of the antibodies in your system.
You have no idea how much I wish you could be more "open" and much less inhibited. We run into sooo many roadblocks and sooo many truly enlightening and revealing discussions and subjects cannot even be approached- let alone explored in the depths & detail they deserve. So-a plateau is reached. Know that if or when your level of "comfort ability" increases, your will not be disappointed. And it will open up some must personal and fascinating exchanges between us. C'est la vie...but can be sooo much more.
[What is most interesting & intriguing is that both males & females with whom I correspond or have written to in the past are always totally open in all matters & subjects-precisely because of the situation. So your unwillingness or inability to be more open and more willing to explore the more personal and sensual side of what it means to be human is all the more puzzling. Again-if that changes a new level of knowledge of each of us awaits us both.]
"Correspond" is such an inexact word-writing can be so rich & rewarding & satisfying when you let it lead where it leads...
***
Must get this in the mail. "Float Trip from Hell" and "Don't Mess With TX" to follow.
You take care of yourself in your post-swine flu recovery, and write when you can. I'm sure you're still getting caught up on everything.
Hope you can find some of that elusive sunshine. Thinking of you...
Yours,
Michael
Letters from the Inside, Michael Swango, #36
Dear KK---
High summer here in the Rockies with temps routinely in the 90s & low 100s---especially just a little to the east on the plains that stretch into Kansas. Looks like a gorgeous summer in Alaska--just received your photos & letters (more on that in a bit). And fromm watching the news shows out of New York, looks like you still haven't gotten an truly hot & humid summer weather.
At least it's not like 1816! Look it up on th enet: the so-called "Year Without a Summer." Fascinating story--caused by a massive volcanic eruption. I actually had to write a paper on it.
AND the prodigal daughter has returned to her roots here in the Lower 48. Tell the truth; wheren't you the least bit tepted to just chuck it all and stay up there?! I thought so...
Sooo---not a lot of time today to delve into your always interesting letters--but with much to discuss and catch up on with you, I watned to at least get a letter out to you today, albeit, "relatively" brief... So, just hitting a few high points.
>Are you sure that your friend on the cruise is not actually your sister?! You two look remarkably alike in that side-by-side photo. Both of you, however, have eyes *to die for*.
>Favorite photo besides that one: The one showing the people on shore preparing to embark in the rafts in your yellow hazmat/wet suits. For some reason, I thougth of a worldwide flu pandemic...thewse are the survivors from the lower 48 who have come to Alaska to float to a remote compound to try to survive the next year...grim, yet oddly uplifting! :) Hey, dark thoughts just like you--what can I say?!
[Regarding the eyes: a wickedly erotic thought comes to midn, but I will keep it to myself...]
Love the postcard "from" Juneau. Most everyone says that Juneau & vicinity & that most scenic parts of Alaska south of the Artic Circle. When we lived in Alaska as a child we were at the Army Base in Ft. Richardson near Anchorage.
>The plane as "petri dish" doesn't surprise me. In the apocalypitc but excellent film, elve Monkeys", the man who spreads the plague does so by flying all over the globe to various large airports, knowing that everyone on every plane will also spread the virus as they travel on in addition to what he releases of the various ariports. Plane are virtually ideal viral concentrators.
Anyway - hope it passed and you are now back to your healthy norm.
>Yeah, I was thinking you darn near starved to death on that ship...! Knew the ood would be outstanding, but it sounds lke they even outdid themselves. I think "bacon detox" deserves a separate & detailed blog entry! That isn't a phrase I have never heard before.
Briefly on films--way to much to get into now:
>Surprisingly, "The Hangover" received uniformly good & very good reviews, despite sounding like just another standard Vegas fratboy, grossout comedy. Will be curious to see what you think.
>May have mentioned I read a good review of "Humpday". Very interesting-sounding film to be sure.
>I DID read on article concerning, the "Mumblecore Movement" a while back reprinted I believe from the Times. But could you find it (or another) and download & send it to me so we can more fully discuss it? Thanks!
Will be going through your Alaska Chronicles more slowly. Kelly: you truly have a gift in writing about travel. Your career should be as a travel writer. I am totally serious.
Need to get this out very soon, so must stop. However, three tiems enclosed--as if you dind't have enough to catch up on.
You take care, stay
Thinking of you...
Yours, Michael
High summer here in the Rockies with temps routinely in the 90s & low 100s---especially just a little to the east on the plains that stretch into Kansas. Looks like a gorgeous summer in Alaska--just received your photos & letters (more on that in a bit). And fromm watching the news shows out of New York, looks like you still haven't gotten an truly hot & humid summer weather.
At least it's not like 1816! Look it up on th enet: the so-called "Year Without a Summer." Fascinating story--caused by a massive volcanic eruption. I actually had to write a paper on it.
AND the prodigal daughter has returned to her roots here in the Lower 48. Tell the truth; wheren't you the least bit tepted to just chuck it all and stay up there?! I thought so...
Sooo---not a lot of time today to delve into your always interesting letters--but with much to discuss and catch up on with you, I watned to at least get a letter out to you today, albeit, "relatively" brief... So, just hitting a few high points.
>Are you sure that your friend on the cruise is not actually your sister?! You two look remarkably alike in that side-by-side photo. Both of you, however, have eyes *to die for*.
>Favorite photo besides that one: The one showing the people on shore preparing to embark in the rafts in your yellow hazmat/wet suits. For some reason, I thougth of a worldwide flu pandemic...thewse are the survivors from the lower 48 who have come to Alaska to float to a remote compound to try to survive the next year...grim, yet oddly uplifting! :) Hey, dark thoughts just like you--what can I say?!
[Regarding the eyes: a wickedly erotic thought comes to midn, but I will keep it to myself...]
Love the postcard "from" Juneau. Most everyone says that Juneau & vicinity & that most scenic parts of Alaska south of the Artic Circle. When we lived in Alaska as a child we were at the Army Base in Ft. Richardson near Anchorage.
>The plane as "petri dish" doesn't surprise me. In the apocalypitc but excellent film, elve Monkeys", the man who spreads the plague does so by flying all over the globe to various large airports, knowing that everyone on every plane will also spread the virus as they travel on in addition to what he releases of the various ariports. Plane are virtually ideal viral concentrators.
Anyway - hope it passed and you are now back to your healthy norm.
>Yeah, I was thinking you darn near starved to death on that ship...! Knew the ood would be outstanding, but it sounds lke they even outdid themselves. I think "bacon detox" deserves a separate & detailed blog entry! That isn't a phrase I have never heard before.
Briefly on films--way to much to get into now:
>Surprisingly, "The Hangover" received uniformly good & very good reviews, despite sounding like just another standard Vegas fratboy, grossout comedy. Will be curious to see what you think.
>May have mentioned I read a good review of "Humpday". Very interesting-sounding film to be sure.
>I DID read on article concerning, the "Mumblecore Movement" a while back reprinted I believe from the Times. But could you find it (or another) and download & send it to me so we can more fully discuss it? Thanks!
Will be going through your Alaska Chronicles more slowly. Kelly: you truly have a gift in writing about travel. Your career should be as a travel writer. I am totally serious.
Need to get this out very soon, so must stop. However, three tiems enclosed--as if you dind't have enough to catch up on.
You take care, stay
Thinking of you...
Yours, Michael
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Letters from the Inside, Ann Miller Kontz, #4
Well, Hi there sweet friend!
Welcome home from Alaska! I'm sorry to hear that you broght a flu bug with you--not the kind of souvenir you had planned for I'm sure! Are you feeling better now?
My friend & I were just sitting here talking about our 6 word story. Here's what we came up with:
MINE: broken vessel, molded, blessed, wife, mother
HERS: Worthless to pricless via love, redemption
I still like yours the best. I can't wait to see what Paul comes up with. He's so good with words. It will be something fun to do at our next visit!
I'm sitting in the dayroom right now watching television. I know your letter had some questions, but since I left it in my room, I'll go from memory.
I don't ever really get bored in here. I might for a moement but I'm good (creative) at coming up with something to do. If I have to--I'll make up a project to do, or I'll clean my room, reorganize my locker, read a book (I read a lot) -- have you ever read Ted Dekker's stuff. He's my favorite author. Do you have any books to recommend? Anyway-as I was saying, it's the people who quickly get bored that struggle in here. They get themselves into trouble.
It's really not dangerous in here like you'd think of at a male facility. Women tend to be more caddy, gossipy, back-stabbing...you know, the emotional mind games. I've learned (the hard way) to keep to myself. There are occassional fights but it's usually between "girlfriends."
The food is terrible--especially with money like it is. They have cut back on the portions, but that's fine by me--I need to lose some weight & exercise is hard to come by. I was much more active at home & have gained weight. It's easy to do wearing baggy clothes all the time. You can put on the pounds without ever realizing it. you might be wondering how that happens if the food is so bad? We have a store (canteen) --Our families/friends send $ and we are given $40 a week to buy shampoo, soap, laundry detergent, stamps, paper, pens, food, coffee...everything---surprise, surprise--nothing is free. Anyway-the food--chips, cookies, Little Debbies cakes, sandwiches, sodas--we eat. We've come up with some great recipes. Here--I'll share one with you.
Take tortilla shells, cover one lightly with mayo & microwave 45 sec. Section it like a pizza. Lay the chips around the plate, in the center, layer
-cheesy rice mixed with a ramen noodle
-shredded chicken breast
-Hormel chili packet (without the beans)
-top with French Onion dip
It's prison nachos and they are really wonderful. We've learned to be creative.
I came up with one recipe for a cake--layering various chocolate and vanilla Little Debby cakes. I made a mousse filling & icing. It was good. I sent the recipe home to my daughter. She loved it--a great (& sweet) no bake cake--perfect for kids!!!
Speaking of my daughter-she just got back from vacation & I talked to her today. She had a really good time. Since I have not talked to her since she left---it was so awesome to hear her sweet voice-so angelic and so excited about all she'd done. It did both of our hearts good to listen to her tell me all about her trip. Gosh, I love that beautiful little princess. She's my lifeline.
Your Alaska trip sounded so wonderful & I love your stories. I really enjoy your writing style & look forward to any other stories you have to share!
Take care sweet friend--I send my love.
Ann
P.S. Working on a picture for you--we don't get them taken often.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Letters from the Inside, Thomas Bartlett Whitaker, #9
Dear Kelly,
So, here's my plan: now that we are aware that you possess this supernatural ability to make Sarah Palin do retarded things, I think we need to bilk the DNC out of copious amounts of money. Think aboutit: we can send you to all of the inevitable "Palin in 2012" events which are bound to be inflicted on all of us, and have you stand in close proximity, causing her to commit political suicide time after time. How does that sound. As your manager, I shall only require ten percent.
Sadly it does not surprise me that you bumped into some pro-abstinence, pro-DP, pro-Jeeeeessusah! Texan on your trip. You coudln't toss a grenade down here without blasting at least a handful of such twits into the next world. I see by his photograph that he has the typical "I've-worked-my-whole-life-for-a defense-contractor-until-this-morning-they-fired-me-and-now-I've-got-a-duffel-bag-full-of-guns-and-a-Bible-look" that is pretty much endemic down ehre. Nice glasses, if we were to suddenly find ourselves back in 1082. Haha, "Texas Softball Hall of Fame?" Sign. Softball is for old farts who can't play baseball. Anyway, I feel the constant need to apologize for such people.
How are you feeling--oink---now? The flu-oink-still got you-oink oink-down? Ha, sorry, not really a funny subject. I hope you are feeling better. Since misery loves company, I will inform you that we are on lockdown currently. Sack lunches three times a day, few-if any-showers, no rec, commissary suspended, etc. I'm freaking starving right now, which isn't the same as being violently ill, save that both of our stomachs are empty. They already this this pod for shakedown, so we are now just waiting on them to finish the rest of the unit. I didn't lose too much this time around, save the usual victims of old correspondence and save containers I use to prepare food. Most of a certain type of guard likes me, so I lucked out this time. I'm not always so lucky. Hm..., on portion of your letter troubles me, Kelly. you wrote that you have "posted some of your long letters" on your site. I hope you do not mean the entire letter. as that is not really what I had in mind when I gave you permission for this. I have no real issues with you quoting me if such data is germane to whatever post you are trying to make. That's cool with me...But the idea of an entire piece of correspondence... I mean, I write to you because I like you. I neither know or wish to correspond with your member list, so you can see how my letters would take a totally different tack if the audence were to be more public. I guess I sort of assumed you would tell me when you planned to write about me, so I could at least put on some pants and tuck in my shirt, metaphorically. Maybe I misundertood your comment, and if so, please correct me. Anyways, I'm back to handwriting letters. Thought it woudl be good to get back to basicals, i.e. I ran out of ribbons. Has been a while since I've done this. I would venture a guess that this tradeshow you went ot in Houston was at the George R. Brown Center? Horrid, ghastly example of how not to design a building. Downtown has evolved quite a bit the last few years, with more clubs and restaurants than before, and way more loft buildings. It's still a suburb-centric sort of town, though. They are finally laying down track for a mass transit system, though this is always going to be a car town. you could call a cab, if coming to see me, but its more than a hours drive from the airport, and is going to cost you a fortune. As long as I have plenty of time to plan, I will find you transportation. You could drive from Livingston to Galveston (2.5 hours) and still technically be in Houston, so cabs are never a good idea here, except for inside the loop. Will work something out.
Those really are some amazing photos you sent. You don't get to see colors like that here. Or spaces so vast. I can't remember the last time I witnessed any scene which could be divided into foreground and background. Juneau looks sort of boring for a capital city, and Skagway sounds downright revolting. At least you didn't get mauled by anything mroe dangerous than that cretin from Tejas.
Well I guess it is a good think you have come to terms with being a malcontent. I'm aloof. How I'm wired. I want to be different, to be good with people, but ... people suck. Please understand I'm not being conceited when I say that most people are idiots. Just a fact of life.. I worte about the stupidity of the blogosphere recently, about what a horrid waste of memory most blogs seem to be. I'f you have somethign important to add to the human conversation, great. If your writing ability brings people pleasure or pain -- even better. But I don't fucking care to hear about someone's creepy obsession wtih Jessica Alba. Ok. I fucking get it. She's hot. I don't require 200,000 words to explain the matter. In the end, we are going to be a species with so much pointless data at our beck and call that we forget how to breath and perish while buried under an avalance of Britney Spears tweets. Anyways, when you read what I wrote, remember that I wasn't talking about you. Unless you are the President of the Jonas Brothers 4 Ever! NYC Chapter, in which case you can just not write me back :-)
Well, I'm off. Take care of yourself and get over the flu. If I mentioend the following in my last letter, forgive me. I sometimes repeart myself, repeat myself. If it is economically possible for you, could you tape a few stamps to the upper left hand page of the last page of your letter? I'm going through something of a rough patch right now and it would be a big help. They would have to be the regular 1st class American flag stamps, though. If not, it's cool. Anyways, I hope this finds you well.
Until, next time.
Thomas
My official 6 word memoir: I'm still waiting on the punchline.
[Ed.: I wrote back telling him that I misunderstood him when he said I have permission to use his letters online. I told him I have indeed posted his full letters and would ask him to seriously reconsider as I want to post them and not quotes. I explained further that I am not writing about him, but rather want his words to speak for himself. That I do not quote him in order to prove a point in a bigger editorial piece. I am not editorializing at all.]
So, here's my plan: now that we are aware that you possess this supernatural ability to make Sarah Palin do retarded things, I think we need to bilk the DNC out of copious amounts of money. Think aboutit: we can send you to all of the inevitable "Palin in 2012" events which are bound to be inflicted on all of us, and have you stand in close proximity, causing her to commit political suicide time after time. How does that sound. As your manager, I shall only require ten percent.
Sadly it does not surprise me that you bumped into some pro-abstinence, pro-DP, pro-Jeeeeessusah! Texan on your trip. You coudln't toss a grenade down here without blasting at least a handful of such twits into the next world. I see by his photograph that he has the typical "I've-worked-my-whole-life-for-a defense-contractor-until-this-morning-they-fired-me-and-now-I've-got-a-duffel-bag-full-of-guns-and-a-Bible-look" that is pretty much endemic down ehre. Nice glasses, if we were to suddenly find ourselves back in 1082. Haha, "Texas Softball Hall of Fame?" Sign. Softball is for old farts who can't play baseball. Anyway, I feel the constant need to apologize for such people.
How are you feeling--oink---now? The flu-oink-still got you-oink oink-down? Ha, sorry, not really a funny subject. I hope you are feeling better. Since misery loves company, I will inform you that we are on lockdown currently. Sack lunches three times a day, few-if any-showers, no rec, commissary suspended, etc. I'm freaking starving right now, which isn't the same as being violently ill, save that both of our stomachs are empty. They already this this pod for shakedown, so we are now just waiting on them to finish the rest of the unit. I didn't lose too much this time around, save the usual victims of old correspondence and save containers I use to prepare food. Most of a certain type of guard likes me, so I lucked out this time. I'm not always so lucky. Hm..., on portion of your letter troubles me, Kelly. you wrote that you have "posted some of your long letters" on your site. I hope you do not mean the entire letter. as that is not really what I had in mind when I gave you permission for this. I have no real issues with you quoting me if such data is germane to whatever post you are trying to make. That's cool with me...But the idea of an entire piece of correspondence... I mean, I write to you because I like you. I neither know or wish to correspond with your member list, so you can see how my letters would take a totally different tack if the audence were to be more public. I guess I sort of assumed you would tell me when you planned to write about me, so I could at least put on some pants and tuck in my shirt, metaphorically. Maybe I misundertood your comment, and if so, please correct me. Anyways, I'm back to handwriting letters. Thought it woudl be good to get back to basicals, i.e. I ran out of ribbons. Has been a while since I've done this. I would venture a guess that this tradeshow you went ot in Houston was at the George R. Brown Center? Horrid, ghastly example of how not to design a building. Downtown has evolved quite a bit the last few years, with more clubs and restaurants than before, and way more loft buildings. It's still a suburb-centric sort of town, though. They are finally laying down track for a mass transit system, though this is always going to be a car town. you could call a cab, if coming to see me, but its more than a hours drive from the airport, and is going to cost you a fortune. As long as I have plenty of time to plan, I will find you transportation. You could drive from Livingston to Galveston (2.5 hours) and still technically be in Houston, so cabs are never a good idea here, except for inside the loop. Will work something out.
Those really are some amazing photos you sent. You don't get to see colors like that here. Or spaces so vast. I can't remember the last time I witnessed any scene which could be divided into foreground and background. Juneau looks sort of boring for a capital city, and Skagway sounds downright revolting. At least you didn't get mauled by anything mroe dangerous than that cretin from Tejas.
Well I guess it is a good think you have come to terms with being a malcontent. I'm aloof. How I'm wired. I want to be different, to be good with people, but ... people suck. Please understand I'm not being conceited when I say that most people are idiots. Just a fact of life.. I worte about the stupidity of the blogosphere recently, about what a horrid waste of memory most blogs seem to be. I'f you have somethign important to add to the human conversation, great. If your writing ability brings people pleasure or pain -- even better. But I don't fucking care to hear about someone's creepy obsession wtih Jessica Alba. Ok. I fucking get it. She's hot. I don't require 200,000 words to explain the matter. In the end, we are going to be a species with so much pointless data at our beck and call that we forget how to breath and perish while buried under an avalance of Britney Spears tweets. Anyways, when you read what I wrote, remember that I wasn't talking about you. Unless you are the President of the Jonas Brothers 4 Ever! NYC Chapter, in which case you can just not write me back :-)
Well, I'm off. Take care of yourself and get over the flu. If I mentioend the following in my last letter, forgive me. I sometimes repeart myself, repeat myself. If it is economically possible for you, could you tape a few stamps to the upper left hand page of the last page of your letter? I'm going through something of a rough patch right now and it would be a big help. They would have to be the regular 1st class American flag stamps, though. If not, it's cool. Anyways, I hope this finds you well.
Until, next time.
Thomas
My official 6 word memoir: I'm still waiting on the punchline.
[Ed.: I wrote back telling him that I misunderstood him when he said I have permission to use his letters online. I told him I have indeed posted his full letters and would ask him to seriously reconsider as I want to post them and not quotes. I explained further that I am not writing about him, but rather want his words to speak for himself. That I do not quote him in order to prove a point in a bigger editorial piece. I am not editorializing at all.]
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Letters from the Inside, Michael Swango, #35
Dear KK---
Hi, sunshine! I hope you have returned from your Alaskan Cruise somewhat recharged, and with any building clouds of depression dispelled--at least for now.
I just received yesterday your two letters written before you left on your cruise...as is often the case, quite a bit of incoming mail seemed to be delayed by the July 4th holiday-an odd one this year falling on a Friday. So by the time this reaches you, I'm guessing you will have returned. That's with my totally guesswork estimate that most such cruises last 10-14 days so if you left Sun 28 JUN...return anywhere from 8-12 JUL?
Free free to share your stories of rock-climbing, stunning sights, gluttony, and sexual debauchery while on your cruise...just kidding, KK. :)
So-your letters (as always, KK, intriguing and demanding comment!) plus several articles & items to send your way... But I am most curious as to your "take"& comments on some of the very strange and hi-profile stories these past couple of weeks: The death of Michael Jackson/the governor of SC & his Argentinean "soulmate"/Murder-suicide of Steve McNair & his 20 y/o mistress.
Your 1st letter--quite dramatic gold stationary!: I completely agree with you on the therapeutic and cathartic power of writing--both to ones self in the form of diaries & journals and to others.
Will be most curious when you are able to discuss details of the "HIV" story. Sounds complicated & very New Yorkish. Trust me, Kelly, my life has nothing on yours in terms of mystery, and intrigue! And please let me know about And the Band Played On. I was serious.
I will write out more medical stories as they come up-or any in particular that might shed light on certain subjects. Or things you might ask about--not that you ever ask any questions, "Ms. Cheshire"... the smile is very sexy & provocative, but here I refer to the curiosity.
[Ed.: I have made it clear over and over to him that I am not at all interested in any type of flirtation and do not want to discuss anything of a sexual nature with him and still he persists.]
Before you left on your cruise, you mentioned several potential new clients plus job interviews. Please keep me posted. I so hope you can keep your "freelance lifestyle" --it seems to suit you so well.
Warning: possibly uncomfortable (for you) details to follow: I found your revelation of having two breast reductions most fascinating. Here's secret that is not generally recognized by many women--who buy into the "Playboy" mentality: Men will invariably comment on large breasts because it is absolutely expected. But when it comes to intimate sexual contact, normal (whatever that means..) breasts are just fine with most men. It is the shape and especially her nipples that are the true turn-on.
And a short or long-lasting intense all-giving sexual relationship. (Again-I have yet to define & discuss because it will involve potentially uncomfortable details for you..) [Ed.: He refers here to my frequent requests to keep the commentary in letters strictly to G-rated subjects. I have told him clearly I am only interested in a platonic pen-pal relationship and am eager to hear of his interests in books/films and what the prison experience is like.]
By the way, gay men find the heterosexual male obsession with large breasts to be laughable & utterly unrelated to what sex is supposed to be about.
Somewhat related topic: I read an article reprinted from the Times [would send it to you if I could--but I'm sure you can find it online] about friendships between gay & straight men. Interesting. But I always held gay men as friends-never any problems or "sexual tension". Why should there be? If straight women can have gay male friends without trying to come on to them, why should we think a gay man can't do the same? However, that old canard about being comfortable with one's sexuality does apply.
Returning to your letter, I only took a plastic surgery elective as a resident, but second reductions have to be fairly rare. Are they? Knowing you, like me, somewhat obsessive and regimented, you researched the topic thoroughly! And once gain, in that very sexy wedding photo, your entire body seems to "fit" marvelously. :) Ok-I'll stop now. God forbid I offend you or make you blush.*
*You know of course that wedding photos of the bride in her gown are inherently "hot" because of the male mind racing ahead to the wedding night...
So like you, KK: "Trying to make everything neat and perfect before leaving...to Alaska."
Describes you to a tee, does it not?! However I stand behind my earlier comment that beneath that ordered, precise, regimented exterior is an interior filled with raw, unbound passion without limits given the right circumstances...or person.
Finally: Yes, I have been following the extremely cold and wet spring & early summer in the Northeast and New England. [My lesbian activist swears it all ties in to global warming.] Like you said, hopefully summer will return to normal upon your return...
Have enclosed several local reviews, etc.
>"PUBLIC ENEMIES"
>"HURT LOCKER"
>"FOOD, INC."
>Ran across this brief article on Diane von Furstenberg, whom you mentioned a few weeks ago.
>And "MAD MEN" to premiere
I am solucky--still another letter of yours to answer! But must get this in the mail. Thinking of you KK--and welcome back. Write soon please. More form me over the weekend.
Yours XOXO [Ed.: I have asked him to stop the XOs as I feel they are inappropriate.]
P.S. Postcards from Seattle & Anchorage & the ship and all points north?!
