Today I got a letter from a prisoner I have never written to. Yet his prison is the same federal prison as Raffaello Follieri's. As you may remember Raffaello and I were writing to each other for a while, and then he abruptly stopped. After two months of not hearing from him, I sent him a card two weeks ago just saying hi and got no reply, so I assumed he doesn't want to correspond anymore. But it's so odd to give his prison friend my address. Here is that letter I received today:
[All typos/spelling mistakes are the author's.]
Dear Kelly,
My name is Anthony Bucci, and I am a friend of Rafael Folieri's at FCI Loretto. I am writing you to introduce myself and to speak to you on a business and friendly level...Hello Kelly...my pleasure...lol
I understand from talking to Raf that you are a writer and I have read a few of your articles. I like your style. I am in the process of writing a book called "Infinity Crew" which I need some help with...I am looking for someone to edit it and to work with in the future...I am not going to get into a lengthy and in depth letter about what the book is about because you may not even be interested. It is a Gangster book with a classic plot which I hope to eventually make into a movie. I have some connections in the industry that are waiting to read it and go from there.
Now getting to me. I am a 6'0" 225 lbs Italian, 46 years old and currently single. I am doing a 21 year sentence but should be getting this conviction overturned in the near future. I am college educated and looking for a friend also. I take friendship very serious and can tell you that you will not find a more loyal person to associate with. I saw your picture and read your articles (even the risque one) and liked what I saw and read. I am a handsome guy myself and can send you a picture if you are interested. Let me know. I did not want to be forward and send a picture on my own and disrespect you in any way.
Kelly, if you are interested in talking more about either working together or conversing with a great guy don't hesitate to drop me a line...you won't be sorry, trust that, Ciao Bella...
Sincerely yours,
Anthony
Monday, April 27, 2009
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Letters from the Inside, Sarah Pender, #4
Dear Kelly,
It's so cold out, raining heavily and windy. The cold seeps in through the window cracks and chills me. I get so sleepy and subdued in rainy weather. I bet it kills you in the icky weather to walk Mini. This week he gets to go to his big family reunion. Yay! I love dogs. I never had one of my own as a kid. I raised two Golden Retrievers and trained them through levels I and II for a handicapped assistance dog program. Barclay is with an 11 year old boy named Jacob who has cerebral palsy, is mostly blind and has seizures. Dewey is now in advanced training and will be going to a 15-year old girl with severe depression as a companion and a segueway to social interaction. They were great dogs. I love them, as if they were my children. I read once where Leona Helmsley left her dog 12 million dollars and several grandkids got $0. What a kick in the nuts.
Why would you read a memoir of someone who irritates you? That would be like me reading the autobiography of Rush Limbaugh. No thanks I'll keep my sanity, thank you very much.
you said you'll be taking a 2 week class in June on how to get published. What is your goal? What sort of writing do you want published? Do you have a genre in mind?
Thank you for the non-fiction book proposal parts. I still haven't decided if I want to do self publishing with a Print On Demand company or go with a publisher. I don't' want to give up all my rights to them.
Why are the ratio of women to men so high in New York City?
I admire what John Walsh did with his devastation over his son Adam being murdered; to turn a hurt/anger/loss into something positive. I do not like how that positive idea becomes persecutory and untruthful-sensationalized for the same of television ratings. There was so much they said on there that wasn't true about me. They are okay with ruining my image because they deem me to be less of a person. It becomes a moral issue for them. So, is it ethical to slander a person in the name of justice? How about is it ethical to knowingly lie in the name of ratings in order to fun a good, justice seeking program? That's utilitarianism. It should be illegal. I get that AMW catches people who have done very bad things and are a danger to society. I can tell you from personal experience that the real danger to our society aren't the ones on AMW.
What is the name of the book the young man's father wrote? {Ed.: She is talking about Bart Whitaker's father's book, Murder by Family. How did you learn about it? Who are your top five authors who are not bestsellers and what subject do they write about?
I just finished Long Quiet Highway by Natalie Goldberg. It's her story of how she came to her personal transcendence through writing and through Zen. My friend sent me her book and a week later an autographed card from a book reading she did in St. Louis. There were parts that moved me. Made me think. Enjoyable to move through those spaces with her. I hope my book is enjoyable and inspirational to others. It focuses on transformation on the human spirit, integrity, choices, direction and living life with a purpose. It just happens that I learned this through drugs, murder, prison, escaping and a ton of positive and purposeful activities along the way.
Life is funny that way.
I've had migraines on and off since I was 8 years old. I've taken Fioranol, Midrin, Imitrex, Inderaol and lots and lots of Tylenol. After your motorcycle accident, do you still ride? My friend used to ride a lot until she came upon a deadly crash one day that was so intense she gave her cycle away that very day.
My father rides on weekends into the mountains and along the west coast with his wife. Next month, they are planning a long several week trip to Yosemite Nat'l Park. Last time, they went to see the Grand Canyon. How beautiful to experience life on the open road, so close to nature and that huge expanse of sky!
Hey--if there's so many woman in NYC, maybe you should start dating women? That would enhance your dating life and be fun to blog about!
Who was the famous person you dated? And how did you meet him?
What do you think your purpose in life is, Kelly? What do you want to do with the rest of your life? When you die, what will people say at your funeral?
I hope this finds you well. Take care.
Sarah
It's so cold out, raining heavily and windy. The cold seeps in through the window cracks and chills me. I get so sleepy and subdued in rainy weather. I bet it kills you in the icky weather to walk Mini. This week he gets to go to his big family reunion. Yay! I love dogs. I never had one of my own as a kid. I raised two Golden Retrievers and trained them through levels I and II for a handicapped assistance dog program. Barclay is with an 11 year old boy named Jacob who has cerebral palsy, is mostly blind and has seizures. Dewey is now in advanced training and will be going to a 15-year old girl with severe depression as a companion and a segueway to social interaction. They were great dogs. I love them, as if they were my children. I read once where Leona Helmsley left her dog 12 million dollars and several grandkids got $0. What a kick in the nuts.
Why would you read a memoir of someone who irritates you? That would be like me reading the autobiography of Rush Limbaugh. No thanks I'll keep my sanity, thank you very much.
you said you'll be taking a 2 week class in June on how to get published. What is your goal? What sort of writing do you want published? Do you have a genre in mind?
Thank you for the non-fiction book proposal parts. I still haven't decided if I want to do self publishing with a Print On Demand company or go with a publisher. I don't' want to give up all my rights to them.
Why are the ratio of women to men so high in New York City?
I admire what John Walsh did with his devastation over his son Adam being murdered; to turn a hurt/anger/loss into something positive. I do not like how that positive idea becomes persecutory and untruthful-sensationalized for the same of television ratings. There was so much they said on there that wasn't true about me. They are okay with ruining my image because they deem me to be less of a person. It becomes a moral issue for them. So, is it ethical to slander a person in the name of justice? How about is it ethical to knowingly lie in the name of ratings in order to fun a good, justice seeking program? That's utilitarianism. It should be illegal. I get that AMW catches people who have done very bad things and are a danger to society. I can tell you from personal experience that the real danger to our society aren't the ones on AMW.
What is the name of the book the young man's father wrote? {Ed.: She is talking about Bart Whitaker's father's book, Murder by Family. How did you learn about it? Who are your top five authors who are not bestsellers and what subject do they write about?
I just finished Long Quiet Highway by Natalie Goldberg. It's her story of how she came to her personal transcendence through writing and through Zen. My friend sent me her book and a week later an autographed card from a book reading she did in St. Louis. There were parts that moved me. Made me think. Enjoyable to move through those spaces with her. I hope my book is enjoyable and inspirational to others. It focuses on transformation on the human spirit, integrity, choices, direction and living life with a purpose. It just happens that I learned this through drugs, murder, prison, escaping and a ton of positive and purposeful activities along the way.
Life is funny that way.
I've had migraines on and off since I was 8 years old. I've taken Fioranol, Midrin, Imitrex, Inderaol and lots and lots of Tylenol. After your motorcycle accident, do you still ride? My friend used to ride a lot until she came upon a deadly crash one day that was so intense she gave her cycle away that very day.
My father rides on weekends into the mountains and along the west coast with his wife. Next month, they are planning a long several week trip to Yosemite Nat'l Park. Last time, they went to see the Grand Canyon. How beautiful to experience life on the open road, so close to nature and that huge expanse of sky!
Hey--if there's so many woman in NYC, maybe you should start dating women? That would enhance your dating life and be fun to blog about!
Who was the famous person you dated? And how did you meet him?
What do you think your purpose in life is, Kelly? What do you want to do with the rest of your life? When you die, what will people say at your funeral?
I hope this finds you well. Take care.
Sarah
Saturday, April 25, 2009
A Question to Readers:
Now that you have had access to the letters I get from the inmates as part of my Letters from the Inside project, what would you like me to write to them? Or more importantly, what would you like me to ask them? What are you thinking of this project? Any comments?
Letters from the Outside, In, KK to Swango, #11
Michael:
Wow! Two letters in one day. Today I trudged to Williamsburg, Brooklyn. Are you familiar with this area? Wmsburg. is a place I hate. It is a very artsy part of Brooklyn where all the annoying hipsters live. If you like trust fund, unwashed-haired kids from the Midwest with tattoos and no sense of purpose, well, then, Billysburg is for you. I went there to pick up money from a store that I sell jewelry I design at. (That sentence is grammatically wrong, btw. I’m just too lazy to fix it.) I don’t think I’ve mentioned that I make jewelry. It’s pretty interesting and certainly doesn’t earn much money but a few hundred here and there helps keep me in movies and books. I will paste in the tags I attach to all my pieces:
Anyway, it was very cold and pouring out today so I made the trek there and was surprised I was owed more than anticipated. I also took some of my clothes to a consignment shop in that area. They buy used designer or vintage pieces. They selected a few pieces and used the credit to buy a vintage leather motorcycle jacket. You know, cause I was ‘born to be wild’ and all. I hope you can hear the sarcasm.
I have so much work to do and it is already 8:08pm. I’m waiting for In Treatment, starring Gabriel Byrne, to come on. Oddly, you mentioned it in your letter. It is an ok show, but it makes me tense. The people who see him with their problems stress me out. They all annoy me.
Back to your letter. Let me try to answer the questions posed.
I have thought of creating a book of my blog entries, but honestly, if I were to write a book, I’d probably write a memoir. I have had a very weird and interesting life. I haven’t mentioned much of it here and may or may not in the future, but suffice it to say I have had many wacky things happen to me. I feel trapped in a Seinfeldian Hell.
I hated the movie FUR, but loved the book about Arbus. Yes, it was the Bosworth bio I read. She was a visual genius for sure. Her photos were very harsh and almost scary. She went places such as nudist colonies, carnivals, drug dens, etc. to capture the essence of “freaks.” Yes, a friend calls me the literary Diane Arbus. I know you have only read my goofy dating columns and upbeat blog entries, but I am a very dark person. I know the pain of life and enjoy writing about it. Diane was obviously creative and a depressive. I guess that is why he compares us.
The Guggenheim and Museum of Nat. History parties I referenced were not private invite only. The Guggenheim has an event every first Friday of the month where they open the museum from 9-1am, have a dj, drinks and allow people to drunkenly roam the circles of art. I also belong to an art membership organization called GENART which allows members to go to private art showings, film screenings, concerts and fashion shows. Coincidentally I just won 2 free tickets to go see the new documentary by James Toback about Mike Tyson, aptly called, “Tyson.” I am a big fan of boxing. I used to date an executive producer at SHOWTIME who would get me into big boxing events. I got to sit next to Don King once, ringside, in Atlantic City. I also flew to Vegas for a big Holyfield fight. It is a beautiful, albeit gory, sport.
I’m now onto Letter 2 from Swango: No migraine today, thankfully.
As for dachshunds, I did not have one growing up. I had a very odd childhood that is too long to get into. I have just always liked them because they are funny looking, silly and have very dominant personalities. I like that they have attitude. Mine is snoring on a chair behind me.
I didn’t notice any of those bookstores in India, however, I know exactly what you are talking about. I was on a small island once, Caye Caulker, off the coast of Belize—no cars at all b/c it is just 3 miles. However, there was a book café where you could leave a book and take a book. Likewise when I was in Venezuela this summer there was also something similar. I, did, however, leave a ton of books in the apt. I rented in India. I like leaving bits of “myself” and my things in places I travel. I wonder who gets them next…
Paul Janka is guy who graduated from Yale. He is a weird guy. Model good looks and very smart, but crazy. He wrote a manifesto about how to get laid in NY without spending a dime. It wasn’t really even tongue-in-cheek. It was serious and mean. I actually became ‘friends’ with him and went on a mock-date so I could write
about it. I did so online, contending that he has a severe compulsion disorder. It is sad. He has since been on Dr. Phil and has a show in the works for MTV. He also was accused of trying to sexually assault a girl he was on a date with. SCARY! I run into him sometimes in the subway. He is an odd character, but has always been nice to me. He is not-so-affectionately known in internet circles as “the worst man in the world.”
I just watched the latest ALICE episode. It is about a 26 year old Brazilian girl, Alice, who lives in a coastal town in Brazil called Las Palmas. Her father commits suicide and she goes to Sao Paolo for his funeral. She meets her step-sister there and her lesbian aunt. She has a fiancé in Las Palmas. She misses her flight b/c she is partying and decides to stay in Sao Paolo. She doesn’t explain to the boyfriend and sort of begins a new life there in Sao Paolo. That’s the gist of it. The City plays a central character role; I like seeing Brazil.
I will try to find the Post article about my firing online. I have searched for it and can’t seem to get a full article, but I believe it is linked up on my Wikipedia page. I will try to find it and print it out for you. I no longer do any reporting for GMTV. I was only filling in for a reporter over the holidays. It was so fun! Have you been to England? I have only been to London, and I loved it. I always say I’d never live anywhere but NYC, but if I absolutely had to go elsewhere, it’d be London.
Ah, so you’ve seen your Wikipedia listing. Ok. So I Googled you today. OMG! It didn’t say much I didn’t know—many poisonings, murders and subsequent jail time. However, the thing that floored me is that it mentions you dated someone you called “KK.” It says her name was Kristin Kinney and that you were engaged to her and that she was upset upon realizing you were being investigated and that you had done jail time. She left you to move back to where her family was and ended up killing herself. It also says she was found with arsenic in her and that her family suspected you may have given her it. Of course, my sincerest condolences go to you and her family. Suicide is always such a tragedy. I can’t even imagine how awful… However, “KK?” Really? You didn’t think to tell me this coincidence? It is pretty shocking that you had a KK that was very prominent in your life. And then I wrote to you, signing as I usually do, “KK.” What do you think about this? It is very unnerving.
I know you are probably squeamish about this whole thing, and it is not my intention to upset you, however, I’m very curious. Curious about KK. The poisonings… I also am interested in understanding how you feel about something. Online it says you are a sociopath. (I know the clinical definition and assume you do too.) Do you feel you are one? I’m not a doctor, clearly, so I have no idea. How do you feel about that word? Were you born without, or grew to have, no conscience? I’m not judging, just curious. Do you get pleasure out of others’ pain? Again, this is not me being critical—clearly I am absolutely opposed to any crime, including murder and do not condone any illegal actions---but I just want to try to understand.
I also see here that there was some sort of book written about you called BLIND EYE. Have you read this? Do you know of it? I’m assuming it would not be very flattering… Should I get a copy?
And last on this awkward topic, you cannot write about a “bad heart” and not explain. Come on, now. What exactly do you mean you had a bad heart? I assume you don’t mean physically as in heart problems. You say you no longer have a “bad heart.” After you define “bad heart” then what cured it?
You have children! I realize they are far away, but do they write to you? Do you know what they look like? Are you still friendly with their mothers? Also, what was your first wife like? I told you all about my annoying ex-husband, so it is your turn. Although I’m not suggesting your wife was annoying….
This letter is already 3 pages so I’ll save my blog entries for next time. I will send you another Outside the Box, I hopefully haven’t sent before and some more short blog entries.
I must get into bed now and watch In Treatment and stay up late reading the latest New York, New Yorker and Harpers. Tomorrow is a busy day. Hope all my questions haven’t irked you.
‘Night.
KK
Wow! Two letters in one day. Today I trudged to Williamsburg, Brooklyn. Are you familiar with this area? Wmsburg. is a place I hate. It is a very artsy part of Brooklyn where all the annoying hipsters live. If you like trust fund, unwashed-haired kids from the Midwest with tattoos and no sense of purpose, well, then, Billysburg is for you. I went there to pick up money from a store that I sell jewelry I design at. (That sentence is grammatically wrong, btw. I’m just too lazy to fix it.) I don’t think I’ve mentioned that I make jewelry. It’s pretty interesting and certainly doesn’t earn much money but a few hundred here and there helps keep me in movies and books. I will paste in the tags I attach to all my pieces:
Anyway, it was very cold and pouring out today so I made the trek there and was surprised I was owed more than anticipated. I also took some of my clothes to a consignment shop in that area. They buy used designer or vintage pieces. They selected a few pieces and used the credit to buy a vintage leather motorcycle jacket. You know, cause I was ‘born to be wild’ and all. I hope you can hear the sarcasm.
I have so much work to do and it is already 8:08pm. I’m waiting for In Treatment, starring Gabriel Byrne, to come on. Oddly, you mentioned it in your letter. It is an ok show, but it makes me tense. The people who see him with their problems stress me out. They all annoy me.
Back to your letter. Let me try to answer the questions posed.
I have thought of creating a book of my blog entries, but honestly, if I were to write a book, I’d probably write a memoir. I have had a very weird and interesting life. I haven’t mentioned much of it here and may or may not in the future, but suffice it to say I have had many wacky things happen to me. I feel trapped in a Seinfeldian Hell.
I hated the movie FUR, but loved the book about Arbus. Yes, it was the Bosworth bio I read. She was a visual genius for sure. Her photos were very harsh and almost scary. She went places such as nudist colonies, carnivals, drug dens, etc. to capture the essence of “freaks.” Yes, a friend calls me the literary Diane Arbus. I know you have only read my goofy dating columns and upbeat blog entries, but I am a very dark person. I know the pain of life and enjoy writing about it. Diane was obviously creative and a depressive. I guess that is why he compares us.
The Guggenheim and Museum of Nat. History parties I referenced were not private invite only. The Guggenheim has an event every first Friday of the month where they open the museum from 9-1am, have a dj, drinks and allow people to drunkenly roam the circles of art. I also belong to an art membership organization called GENART which allows members to go to private art showings, film screenings, concerts and fashion shows. Coincidentally I just won 2 free tickets to go see the new documentary by James Toback about Mike Tyson, aptly called, “Tyson.” I am a big fan of boxing. I used to date an executive producer at SHOWTIME who would get me into big boxing events. I got to sit next to Don King once, ringside, in Atlantic City. I also flew to Vegas for a big Holyfield fight. It is a beautiful, albeit gory, sport.
I’m now onto Letter 2 from Swango: No migraine today, thankfully.
As for dachshunds, I did not have one growing up. I had a very odd childhood that is too long to get into. I have just always liked them because they are funny looking, silly and have very dominant personalities. I like that they have attitude. Mine is snoring on a chair behind me.
I didn’t notice any of those bookstores in India, however, I know exactly what you are talking about. I was on a small island once, Caye Caulker, off the coast of Belize—no cars at all b/c it is just 3 miles. However, there was a book café where you could leave a book and take a book. Likewise when I was in Venezuela this summer there was also something similar. I, did, however, leave a ton of books in the apt. I rented in India. I like leaving bits of “myself” and my things in places I travel. I wonder who gets them next…
Paul Janka is guy who graduated from Yale. He is a weird guy. Model good looks and very smart, but crazy. He wrote a manifesto about how to get laid in NY without spending a dime. It wasn’t really even tongue-in-cheek. It was serious and mean. I actually became ‘friends’ with him and went on a mock-date so I could write
about it. I did so online, contending that he has a severe compulsion disorder. It is sad. He has since been on Dr. Phil and has a show in the works for MTV. He also was accused of trying to sexually assault a girl he was on a date with. SCARY! I run into him sometimes in the subway. He is an odd character, but has always been nice to me. He is not-so-affectionately known in internet circles as “the worst man in the world.”
I just watched the latest ALICE episode. It is about a 26 year old Brazilian girl, Alice, who lives in a coastal town in Brazil called Las Palmas. Her father commits suicide and she goes to Sao Paolo for his funeral. She meets her step-sister there and her lesbian aunt. She has a fiancé in Las Palmas. She misses her flight b/c she is partying and decides to stay in Sao Paolo. She doesn’t explain to the boyfriend and sort of begins a new life there in Sao Paolo. That’s the gist of it. The City plays a central character role; I like seeing Brazil.
I will try to find the Post article about my firing online. I have searched for it and can’t seem to get a full article, but I believe it is linked up on my Wikipedia page. I will try to find it and print it out for you. I no longer do any reporting for GMTV. I was only filling in for a reporter over the holidays. It was so fun! Have you been to England? I have only been to London, and I loved it. I always say I’d never live anywhere but NYC, but if I absolutely had to go elsewhere, it’d be London.
Ah, so you’ve seen your Wikipedia listing. Ok. So I Googled you today. OMG! It didn’t say much I didn’t know—many poisonings, murders and subsequent jail time. However, the thing that floored me is that it mentions you dated someone you called “KK.” It says her name was Kristin Kinney and that you were engaged to her and that she was upset upon realizing you were being investigated and that you had done jail time. She left you to move back to where her family was and ended up killing herself. It also says she was found with arsenic in her and that her family suspected you may have given her it. Of course, my sincerest condolences go to you and her family. Suicide is always such a tragedy. I can’t even imagine how awful… However, “KK?” Really? You didn’t think to tell me this coincidence? It is pretty shocking that you had a KK that was very prominent in your life. And then I wrote to you, signing as I usually do, “KK.” What do you think about this? It is very unnerving.
I know you are probably squeamish about this whole thing, and it is not my intention to upset you, however, I’m very curious. Curious about KK. The poisonings… I also am interested in understanding how you feel about something. Online it says you are a sociopath. (I know the clinical definition and assume you do too.) Do you feel you are one? I’m not a doctor, clearly, so I have no idea. How do you feel about that word? Were you born without, or grew to have, no conscience? I’m not judging, just curious. Do you get pleasure out of others’ pain? Again, this is not me being critical—clearly I am absolutely opposed to any crime, including murder and do not condone any illegal actions---but I just want to try to understand.
I also see here that there was some sort of book written about you called BLIND EYE. Have you read this? Do you know of it? I’m assuming it would not be very flattering… Should I get a copy?
And last on this awkward topic, you cannot write about a “bad heart” and not explain. Come on, now. What exactly do you mean you had a bad heart? I assume you don’t mean physically as in heart problems. You say you no longer have a “bad heart.” After you define “bad heart” then what cured it?
You have children! I realize they are far away, but do they write to you? Do you know what they look like? Are you still friendly with their mothers? Also, what was your first wife like? I told you all about my annoying ex-husband, so it is your turn. Although I’m not suggesting your wife was annoying….
This letter is already 3 pages so I’ll save my blog entries for next time. I will send you another Outside the Box, I hopefully haven’t sent before and some more short blog entries.
I must get into bed now and watch In Treatment and stay up late reading the latest New York, New Yorker and Harpers. Tomorrow is a busy day. Hope all my questions haven’t irked you.
‘Night.
KK
Friday, April 24, 2009
Letters from the Inside, Michael Swango, #11
KK---
Hello again! Too bad about the Imitrex. A relative of mine suffers from migraines, and he says Imitrex is the best medicine he's ever used. [Yes, he knows he is in the minority--since women suffer migraines far more often than men.] Any change your insurance will cover it again at some point?
There's something we have in common---love of books. Your analogy of a demented squirrel hoarding nuts sounds about right! Several times In the past I've been forced by sheer numbers & space to "cull" my collection. Always an excruciating process.
So what is this true love you seem to have for dachshunds? Clearly Mini is a joyful part of your life. Did you have a weiner dog when you were a child, or did they come in to your life via a friend or lover or the sheer mechanics and limitations of Manhattan apartment living?
A word about bookstores in Southern Africa, which may be the same in India (you can tell me). Almost every city that attracts tourists and/or ex-pats has several "trade-in" bookstores. You can either purchase the thousands of used books, or pay a smaller fee and trade-in your used books for others. Either way is dirt-cheap. Because of the volume & variety, you find paperbacks there from Britain & Australia & South Africa that you might otherwise never see. Thus did I discover Patricia Highsmith's* amazing series of Ripley novels: The Talented Mr. Ripley is only the first in a series of five or six outstanding & details explorations of the charming but utterly conscience-less Tom Ripley...AND the brilliant novels of Iris Murdoch...AND the South African novelist J.M. Coetzee...among others. Will make a note to discuss those authors in future letters.
Thank you for clarifying "Outside the Box" vs. "Unbearable Heaviness of Being." Either the Observer writer got it wrong or I somehow misunderstood what she wrote. Anything you can send from either source is most appreciated. Do tell me one thing about your infamous "open letter' though Who was Paul Janka and why did your editor force you to write the letter?!
*AND her 20 or 25 other novels--always different, always dark, and no happy ending. She wrote Strangers on a Train, the basis for the Hitchcock movie. Book is better.
HBO-L/When you decide to get HBO you go all the way, don't you? ALICE definitely sounds different. If you have time, can you send me a brief description of the series? Although I've not seen it, I have read & heard a lot about "IN TREATMENT" with Gabriel Byrne. Apparently a critical hit. Perhaps it will show up on LIFETIME at some point. Curious what you think about Season I.
While it may be a long story and all very familiar to you -- the story of what happened four years ago with your firing & blog sounds like a New York media sensation! I won't ask you to recount every step--but could you send the text of the full-page N.Y. Post article?
And do you still do any reporting for UK TV? If I didn't make it clear earlier, I am a huge Anglophile-modern English authors, English films [especially 60s & 70s], etc. AND UK politics--even more of a blood sport there than here. Prime Minister's Questions live on C-SPAN at 0500 hrs Mountain Time on Wednesdays. Keep an eye on (GEEK ALERT!) Mr. Cameron. I believe he will be the next P.M.
I have actually read the WIKIPEDIA entry regarding my sad history. Multiple factual error/I'm not sure if Google would do any better. However--allow me to make this comment, which may surprise you: Not only did a series of bad decisions and bad acts put me here--but I also (I have learned) had a bad heart. That person--in those ways--seems as distant to me now as Alpha Centauri. I no longer have a bad heart. Though I remain here, I can assure you it makes a tremendous difference in my outlook on the world in general and my attitudes on virtually everything.
Regarding the personal info: Again, probably not on Google! Married once in Virginia, for about three years. No children from that marriage. But two lovely children with two women in Africa--both living in Zambia. One girl, one boy--both now tweens. Both healthy & doing well. Cannot say any more. But thanks for asking!
***
Must get this in the mail. In my next letter I will talk about your LOL holiday shopping story about finding the perfect pair of jeans!
However, before I close, a brief mention of an incoming film with Amy Adams & Meryl Streep: "Julie & Julia" [August 7th] Streep plays celebrity chef Julia Childs & Adams play a blogger ! Julie Powers. Written & directed by Nora Ephron.
Doesn't really sound like my kind of film--but I always keep an open mind. And as you said, Amy Adams is brilliant.
One more thing, KK. I find it somewhat charming that you don't want to send your Paul Janka letter because it is "not well-written" and "way too graphic!" Are you kidding! :-) You would not believe some of the "stories" I have received unsolicited - "graphic" would be the mildest term I would use.
In any even, trust me that my sensibilities and life experiences cover anything & everything that you can imagine. And I don't say that lightly. I should add that I'm not proud of every thing, but there it is. On the plus side, I never sit around wishing I could do A or B or C...or X or Y or Z.
I hope to discuss whatever comes to mind with you [see page 4], and I hope you will feel free & unfettered to do the same.
You take care and hope to hear from you soon. Be good.
Yours, Michael
Hello again! Too bad about the Imitrex. A relative of mine suffers from migraines, and he says Imitrex is the best medicine he's ever used. [Yes, he knows he is in the minority--since women suffer migraines far more often than men.] Any change your insurance will cover it again at some point?
There's something we have in common---love of books. Your analogy of a demented squirrel hoarding nuts sounds about right! Several times In the past I've been forced by sheer numbers & space to "cull" my collection. Always an excruciating process.
So what is this true love you seem to have for dachshunds? Clearly Mini is a joyful part of your life. Did you have a weiner dog when you were a child, or did they come in to your life via a friend or lover or the sheer mechanics and limitations of Manhattan apartment living?
A word about bookstores in Southern Africa, which may be the same in India (you can tell me). Almost every city that attracts tourists and/or ex-pats has several "trade-in" bookstores. You can either purchase the thousands of used books, or pay a smaller fee and trade-in your used books for others. Either way is dirt-cheap. Because of the volume & variety, you find paperbacks there from Britain & Australia & South Africa that you might otherwise never see. Thus did I discover Patricia Highsmith's* amazing series of Ripley novels: The Talented Mr. Ripley is only the first in a series of five or six outstanding & details explorations of the charming but utterly conscience-less Tom Ripley...AND the brilliant novels of Iris Murdoch...AND the South African novelist J.M. Coetzee...among others. Will make a note to discuss those authors in future letters.
Thank you for clarifying "Outside the Box" vs. "Unbearable Heaviness of Being." Either the Observer writer got it wrong or I somehow misunderstood what she wrote. Anything you can send from either source is most appreciated. Do tell me one thing about your infamous "open letter' though Who was Paul Janka and why did your editor force you to write the letter?!
*AND her 20 or 25 other novels--always different, always dark, and no happy ending. She wrote Strangers on a Train, the basis for the Hitchcock movie. Book is better.
HBO-L/When you decide to get HBO you go all the way, don't you? ALICE definitely sounds different. If you have time, can you send me a brief description of the series? Although I've not seen it, I have read & heard a lot about "IN TREATMENT" with Gabriel Byrne. Apparently a critical hit. Perhaps it will show up on LIFETIME at some point. Curious what you think about Season I.
While it may be a long story and all very familiar to you -- the story of what happened four years ago with your firing & blog sounds like a New York media sensation! I won't ask you to recount every step--but could you send the text of the full-page N.Y. Post article?
And do you still do any reporting for UK TV? If I didn't make it clear earlier, I am a huge Anglophile-modern English authors, English films [especially 60s & 70s], etc. AND UK politics--even more of a blood sport there than here. Prime Minister's Questions live on C-SPAN at 0500 hrs Mountain Time on Wednesdays. Keep an eye on (GEEK ALERT!) Mr. Cameron. I believe he will be the next P.M.
I have actually read the WIKIPEDIA entry regarding my sad history. Multiple factual error/I'm not sure if Google would do any better. However--allow me to make this comment, which may surprise you: Not only did a series of bad decisions and bad acts put me here--but I also (I have learned) had a bad heart. That person--in those ways--seems as distant to me now as Alpha Centauri. I no longer have a bad heart. Though I remain here, I can assure you it makes a tremendous difference in my outlook on the world in general and my attitudes on virtually everything.
Regarding the personal info: Again, probably not on Google! Married once in Virginia, for about three years. No children from that marriage. But two lovely children with two women in Africa--both living in Zambia. One girl, one boy--both now tweens. Both healthy & doing well. Cannot say any more. But thanks for asking!
***
Must get this in the mail. In my next letter I will talk about your LOL holiday shopping story about finding the perfect pair of jeans!
However, before I close, a brief mention of an incoming film with Amy Adams & Meryl Streep: "Julie & Julia" [August 7th] Streep plays celebrity chef Julia Childs & Adams play a blogger ! Julie Powers. Written & directed by Nora Ephron.
Doesn't really sound like my kind of film--but I always keep an open mind. And as you said, Amy Adams is brilliant.
One more thing, KK. I find it somewhat charming that you don't want to send your Paul Janka letter because it is "not well-written" and "way too graphic!" Are you kidding! :-) You would not believe some of the "stories" I have received unsolicited - "graphic" would be the mildest term I would use.
In any even, trust me that my sensibilities and life experiences cover anything & everything that you can imagine. And I don't say that lightly. I should add that I'm not proud of every thing, but there it is. On the plus side, I never sit around wishing I could do A or B or C...or X or Y or Z.
I hope to discuss whatever comes to mind with you [see page 4], and I hope you will feel free & unfettered to do the same.
You take care and hope to hear from you soon. Be good.
Yours, Michael
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Letters from the Inside, Michael Swango, #10
Dear KK--- April 13, 2009
I have your letter and your card* in front of me. You really are endlessly fascinating and entertaining; and if you think I've said that about many people either before or after I came here, you would be mistaken.
So, KK---when are you going to get your columns & blogs together for a book and write a NY Times Bestseller ala Chelsea Handler, et al? I do a lot of reading--even more lately thanks to you--and your columns deserve to be turned into Volume I and II and ... Just a thought, though, I'm sure it is not original with me!
Beginning with your card, which was written first: As often happens over the weekend I saw a brief but fact-heavy investigative report on CNN re the death of Natasha Richardson. The timeline is damning on several key points. First, it appears she languished in the ER at the small community hospital near the resort for over an hour. Critical time in an epidural hematoma. She should have been sent immediately to the trauma center in Montreal. But the real "killer"--possibly literally--was the 2 1/2 hour ground transport time to Montreal. No air transport available. The bottom line is this: She was apparently injured around 12:40...she did not ARRIVE in Montreal at the trauma center until 7:00pm: 6 1/2 hours post-injury. The report didn't say if she had immediate surgery on arrival---but with that type of injury, the brain damage may well have been irreversible and fatal by that time.
Yes, I did see the news of the suicide of Nicholas Plath. Given the historical irony, I was surprised the story was not covered more. It was barely mentioned, in fact. Sylvia Plath is not the literary & tragic icon she once was. On a more personal note, I have lost someone close to suicide. You never ever really know why... [Ed.: He is referring to KK.]
your reading the Diane Arbus biography reminded me of that most unusual film from 06---based on that biography:
"FUR: AN IMAGINARY PORTRAIT OF DIANE ARBUS" 06 Directed by Steven Shainberg Starring Nicole Kidman, Robert Downey, Jr. "Attempting to explore famed photographer Arbus' artistic awakening in metaphoric terms, this film (set in 1958) follows her evolution from a stifled upper-class N.Y.C. wife & mother to an artist who's open to a world of society's outcasts that her parents taught her to shun.
Downey plays a fugitive from a freak show with a furry body who moves in upstairs. He's a fictitious character in this "imaginary portrait" that tells us a little about a very intersting woman. Ambitious and intriguing, with Kidman perfectly cast, but a strange, unsatisfying film. "Inspired By" Patricia Bosworth's biography of Arbus. KK: Is this the biography you are reading, or another one?
Despite several other reviews similar to the above at the time, I reallyl wanted to see this film. Because of Kidman's lead role, it recieved a lot of buzz at the time---which made its critical demise all the more devastating.
Even a three-line entry in one of those omnibus encyclopedias makes you want to know more about her: "DIANE ARBUS (1923-1971)" U. S. photographer noted for her black & white photographs of the strangeness of ordinary people, particularly children. Born Diane Nemerov, she died a suicide. Her autobiography, Diane Arbus, was published in 1972.
So-as you can see from the above, I am only superficially familiar with Ms. Arbus--and I am most interested in everything you glean from reading her biography. The comment that you are a "literary" Diane Arbus...please tell me more! As I said, endlessly fascinating and entertaining :)
Speaking of her photos of children, I recall seeing a stunning photograh of a family in the 1950s that had eleven or twelve girls--no boys. And they were all lined up by height wearing the same exact outfit. The photo was by Diane Arbus. Not sure if it was meant to look like a happy family photo, but in the hands of Ms. Arbus my recollection is of something akin to a German eugenics film from the early 20th century. I've never forgotten that photo. Strange, the effect of a single image...
***
"Touched By A Pigeon" is a perfect example of a story/"slice-of-life" that belongs in that book with 50 or 60 others!
Not only did I learn about NYC pigeons, but very funny as I've learned to expect from most of your writings. A pigeon that loses his will to live... pigeon pox!...and the sad reality of [ahem] pigeon suicide...?! [Ed: He is referencing a blog entry I wrote years ago called, "Touched By A Pigeon," about how a friend was teaching me how to ride a bike back when I lived in Hell's Kitchen. Whilst waiting for him to get the bike, I came across a neighbhorhood guy holding a pigeon. He explained there was nothign wrong with the bird, except it had lost its will to live. He had me pet it and it was soft like a bunny. A passerby noticed and screamed at how dirty it was and I was zapped back into reality and started itching and breaking out into hives. We left for our bike ride and an hour later while crossing Ninth Avenue on my way home, I saw it---dead in the middle of the road. And I just knew it walked into traffic on purpose.]
That's just your card! Let me get this in the mail now, and delve into your letter. Part II to follow shortly.
Take care and stay safe in the big bad city. Write when you can--more from me tomorrow.
Yours,
Michael
P.S. Are all your Guggenheim & MOMA parties "invitation" only? I imagine you know lots of people in your line of work...
* Nice by the way: Fountain House Collection to enlighten the attitudes regarding the mentally ill. [Ed.: He is referencing the notecard I sent; it was made by a non-profit involving mental health research.]
I have your letter and your card* in front of me. You really are endlessly fascinating and entertaining; and if you think I've said that about many people either before or after I came here, you would be mistaken.
So, KK---when are you going to get your columns & blogs together for a book and write a NY Times Bestseller ala Chelsea Handler, et al? I do a lot of reading--even more lately thanks to you--and your columns deserve to be turned into Volume I and II and ... Just a thought, though, I'm sure it is not original with me!
Beginning with your card, which was written first: As often happens over the weekend I saw a brief but fact-heavy investigative report on CNN re the death of Natasha Richardson. The timeline is damning on several key points. First, it appears she languished in the ER at the small community hospital near the resort for over an hour. Critical time in an epidural hematoma. She should have been sent immediately to the trauma center in Montreal. But the real "killer"--possibly literally--was the 2 1/2 hour ground transport time to Montreal. No air transport available. The bottom line is this: She was apparently injured around 12:40...she did not ARRIVE in Montreal at the trauma center until 7:00pm: 6 1/2 hours post-injury. The report didn't say if she had immediate surgery on arrival---but with that type of injury, the brain damage may well have been irreversible and fatal by that time.
Yes, I did see the news of the suicide of Nicholas Plath. Given the historical irony, I was surprised the story was not covered more. It was barely mentioned, in fact. Sylvia Plath is not the literary & tragic icon she once was. On a more personal note, I have lost someone close to suicide. You never ever really know why... [Ed.: He is referring to KK.]
your reading the Diane Arbus biography reminded me of that most unusual film from 06---based on that biography:
"FUR: AN IMAGINARY PORTRAIT OF DIANE ARBUS" 06 Directed by Steven Shainberg Starring Nicole Kidman, Robert Downey, Jr. "Attempting to explore famed photographer Arbus' artistic awakening in metaphoric terms, this film (set in 1958) follows her evolution from a stifled upper-class N.Y.C. wife & mother to an artist who's open to a world of society's outcasts that her parents taught her to shun.
Downey plays a fugitive from a freak show with a furry body who moves in upstairs. He's a fictitious character in this "imaginary portrait" that tells us a little about a very intersting woman. Ambitious and intriguing, with Kidman perfectly cast, but a strange, unsatisfying film. "Inspired By" Patricia Bosworth's biography of Arbus. KK: Is this the biography you are reading, or another one?
Despite several other reviews similar to the above at the time, I reallyl wanted to see this film. Because of Kidman's lead role, it recieved a lot of buzz at the time---which made its critical demise all the more devastating.
Even a three-line entry in one of those omnibus encyclopedias makes you want to know more about her: "DIANE ARBUS (1923-1971)" U. S. photographer noted for her black & white photographs of the strangeness of ordinary people, particularly children. Born Diane Nemerov, she died a suicide. Her autobiography, Diane Arbus, was published in 1972.
So-as you can see from the above, I am only superficially familiar with Ms. Arbus--and I am most interested in everything you glean from reading her biography. The comment that you are a "literary" Diane Arbus...please tell me more! As I said, endlessly fascinating and entertaining :)
Speaking of her photos of children, I recall seeing a stunning photograh of a family in the 1950s that had eleven or twelve girls--no boys. And they were all lined up by height wearing the same exact outfit. The photo was by Diane Arbus. Not sure if it was meant to look like a happy family photo, but in the hands of Ms. Arbus my recollection is of something akin to a German eugenics film from the early 20th century. I've never forgotten that photo. Strange, the effect of a single image...
***
"Touched By A Pigeon" is a perfect example of a story/"slice-of-life" that belongs in that book with 50 or 60 others!
Not only did I learn about NYC pigeons, but very funny as I've learned to expect from most of your writings. A pigeon that loses his will to live... pigeon pox!...and the sad reality of [ahem] pigeon suicide...?! [Ed: He is referencing a blog entry I wrote years ago called, "Touched By A Pigeon," about how a friend was teaching me how to ride a bike back when I lived in Hell's Kitchen. Whilst waiting for him to get the bike, I came across a neighbhorhood guy holding a pigeon. He explained there was nothign wrong with the bird, except it had lost its will to live. He had me pet it and it was soft like a bunny. A passerby noticed and screamed at how dirty it was and I was zapped back into reality and started itching and breaking out into hives. We left for our bike ride and an hour later while crossing Ninth Avenue on my way home, I saw it---dead in the middle of the road. And I just knew it walked into traffic on purpose.]
That's just your card! Let me get this in the mail now, and delve into your letter. Part II to follow shortly.
Take care and stay safe in the big bad city. Write when you can--more from me tomorrow.
Yours,
Michael
P.S. Are all your Guggenheim & MOMA parties "invitation" only? I imagine you know lots of people in your line of work...
* Nice by the way: Fountain House Collection to enlighten the attitudes regarding the mentally ill. [Ed.: He is referencing the notecard I sent; it was made by a non-profit involving mental health research.]
Books Written About These Inmates:
I specifically chose these people to write to without knowing very much about them except that they were called "sociopaths" by psychologists in their trials and that they were shown to have above average intelligence. They were known to be charming and good looking. I read just the basic information to know what they were convicted of and where they were being held. I specifically didn't want to read the books that were written about them and their crimes because I wanted to go in fresh and forge a pen pal relationship with them without knowing any of the back story. And that is what I did.
So now that I have a relationship with Pender, Swango, Whitaker and Smith, I decided to read the books written about them. I started with Ken Whitaker's(Bart's father) book, Murder By Family. Ken is a very religious man and the narrative is peppered with religious belief and sentiment. Juxtaposed with the incredibly intellectual voice Bart has, I noted how different father and son's styles were. Not too much stood out in the book except that towards the end Bart writes his father letters explaining his crime. I found it particularly interesting that he said something along the lines of, "I never respected people less smart than I am." It does seem from reading each of their writing, that Bart is way more eloquent, has a much bigger vocabulary and is far more well-read. The only other part that was really noteworthy was how Bart, in that typical sociopathic way, writes in circles about why he did this. His commentary about the "masks" he wore and the hole he had inside of him which made him incapable of feeling love, was enlightening.
Then I read James B. Stewart's bestseller, Blind Eye. Keep in mind I have already had a relationship with Swango for months before embarking on the reading of this book. I was really taken with how horrifying his actions and words were. I wanted to remember these things so they'd stick in my head when I read his letters. Swango writes about two letters a week to me, each around 10 pages.
The things that were particularly noteworthy about Swango were:
- Since he was very young he kept scrapbooks of clippings of murder, death and tragedy. Many people are quoted in this book as saying they'd see him cutting out articles about mass death with an eerie look of satisfaction on his face. He was also fascinated with serial killers. He was quoted as saying, "That's just great. I wish I had been there," in reaction to watching a story on the news about a man who went into a McDonalds and shot 21 people. "Every time I think of a good idea, someone beats me to it."
- He connected sex and death. He was quoted as saying, "Do you know what I'd like to do to you?" After describing in lurid detail what he called a "sexual fantasy" he said it would culminate with him plummeting a hatchet into the back of the woman's head.
- He was also quoted as saying, "The best thing about being a doctor is coming out of the ER with a hard-on to tell some parents that their kid died from head trauma."
- Swango said the ultimate call while being an EMT was to be called to the site of an accident in which a busload of children had been hit head on by a tractor trailer filled with gasoline. He said he'd like another bus to plow into the wreckage, causing a massive explosion throwing children's bodies into barbed wire fences.
- In this book, Swango also says, "Wouldn't that be great? To travel around the country killing people. Just moving on, killing some more--a great lifestyle!"
- He was married to a woman named Ruth Duma. The marriage lasted for 3 years.
- He said he hated fat people so much he dreamed of slicing them through with blades attached to his shoes.
- The book discusses how he was a big movie buff. So interesting that he still is. If you read his letters to me, they almost always discuss movies. Even many that he does not have the ability to see.
Probably the thing that stands out the most about this book, for me, is all the text about KK. Besides sharing her initials with me, she had the same look I do--the same coloring. She was supposedly very funny and Lucille Ball-like. My ex-husband Wm. used to actually call me "Lucy" because of sense of humor. Like me, she had been married before and her marriage only lasted a very short time. She had a very bad childhood. She kept a diary/journal during the last year of her life with Swango, chronicling events and her depression. She ended up killing herself. Once autopsied they found ample quantities of arsenic in her system that was said to explain her horrible migraines and breakdown.
I recently ordered three books on the Susan Smith murder case: One written by her mother, another written by her ex-husband and one written by a psychologist. I will write what stands out to me after I read them and get a few more letters from her.
There is currently no book about Pender yet, but she tells me she is working on one herself.
So now that I have a relationship with Pender, Swango, Whitaker and Smith, I decided to read the books written about them. I started with Ken Whitaker's(Bart's father) book, Murder By Family. Ken is a very religious man and the narrative is peppered with religious belief and sentiment. Juxtaposed with the incredibly intellectual voice Bart has, I noted how different father and son's styles were. Not too much stood out in the book except that towards the end Bart writes his father letters explaining his crime. I found it particularly interesting that he said something along the lines of, "I never respected people less smart than I am." It does seem from reading each of their writing, that Bart is way more eloquent, has a much bigger vocabulary and is far more well-read. The only other part that was really noteworthy was how Bart, in that typical sociopathic way, writes in circles about why he did this. His commentary about the "masks" he wore and the hole he had inside of him which made him incapable of feeling love, was enlightening.
Then I read James B. Stewart's bestseller, Blind Eye. Keep in mind I have already had a relationship with Swango for months before embarking on the reading of this book. I was really taken with how horrifying his actions and words were. I wanted to remember these things so they'd stick in my head when I read his letters. Swango writes about two letters a week to me, each around 10 pages.
The things that were particularly noteworthy about Swango were:
- Since he was very young he kept scrapbooks of clippings of murder, death and tragedy. Many people are quoted in this book as saying they'd see him cutting out articles about mass death with an eerie look of satisfaction on his face. He was also fascinated with serial killers. He was quoted as saying, "That's just great. I wish I had been there," in reaction to watching a story on the news about a man who went into a McDonalds and shot 21 people. "Every time I think of a good idea, someone beats me to it."
- He connected sex and death. He was quoted as saying, "Do you know what I'd like to do to you?" After describing in lurid detail what he called a "sexual fantasy" he said it would culminate with him plummeting a hatchet into the back of the woman's head.
- He was also quoted as saying, "The best thing about being a doctor is coming out of the ER with a hard-on to tell some parents that their kid died from head trauma."
- Swango said the ultimate call while being an EMT was to be called to the site of an accident in which a busload of children had been hit head on by a tractor trailer filled with gasoline. He said he'd like another bus to plow into the wreckage, causing a massive explosion throwing children's bodies into barbed wire fences.
- In this book, Swango also says, "Wouldn't that be great? To travel around the country killing people. Just moving on, killing some more--a great lifestyle!"
- He was married to a woman named Ruth Duma. The marriage lasted for 3 years.
- He said he hated fat people so much he dreamed of slicing them through with blades attached to his shoes.
- The book discusses how he was a big movie buff. So interesting that he still is. If you read his letters to me, they almost always discuss movies. Even many that he does not have the ability to see.
Probably the thing that stands out the most about this book, for me, is all the text about KK. Besides sharing her initials with me, she had the same look I do--the same coloring. She was supposedly very funny and Lucille Ball-like. My ex-husband Wm. used to actually call me "Lucy" because of sense of humor. Like me, she had been married before and her marriage only lasted a very short time. She had a very bad childhood. She kept a diary/journal during the last year of her life with Swango, chronicling events and her depression. She ended up killing herself. Once autopsied they found ample quantities of arsenic in her system that was said to explain her horrible migraines and breakdown.
I recently ordered three books on the Susan Smith murder case: One written by her mother, another written by her ex-husband and one written by a psychologist. I will write what stands out to me after I read them and get a few more letters from her.
There is currently no book about Pender yet, but she tells me she is working on one herself.
