Letters from the Inside, Michael Swango, #5

Dear KK---

Continuing with "Part 2" of this letter: Before I forget, I wanted to mention a couple of films to you on your radar screen (although it's clear to me you don't miss much!):

>"SYNECDOCHE, NEW YORK": came out on DVD today. That is, or course, the extremely strange & offbeat film by director Charlie Kaufman, who wrote "Being John Malkovich" & "Adaptation." I was able to read the amazingly glowing review by Manohla Dargis from the Times; but I also saw & heard numerous commentaries just ripping the film to shreds.

With its layer upon layer of complexity, it sounds like a film I might enjoy... but no one I know has actually seen it. So-like "PRIMER", ifyou are able to see it I would be very interested in your opinion. Thanks.

KK Ran across this mini-review ."Sunshine Cleaning": This film will inevitably draw comparisons to "Little Miss Sunshine" - for its cheery title, suicide jokes, dysfunctional family, and casting of Alan Arkin. But in place of children's pageants, "Cleaning" immerses us in the world of human-remains removal. It's the story of Rose Lorkowski [Amy Adams], who, with the help of her sister [Emily Blunt], trade in her maid-on-wheels gig for a more lucrative (and stomach-turning) job cleaning blood and guts from crime scenes. The morbid work helps the women wash way some emotional residue of their own family tragedies, but what's most memorable about the film is it's visceral joys: a surprisingly complex performance from Clifton Collins Jr. ["Capote"] as a one-armed store clerk and scenes about botched biohazard disposal and dried brain matter. There's a lot of heart to "Sunshine Cleaning", and luckily, plenty of blood to keep it beating." --David Walters

Now back to your letter & highly entertaining columns:

>Your first questions was about answering letters I receive. As mentioned when I first wrote back to you--only, a few. To be honest, I think lots of people in the e-mail, IM, text world of today have extreme difficulty trying to communicating via written or typed letters. Two relatives with whom I maintain regular [albeit fairly boring:-)] correspondence tell me that the only personal letters they receive are from me , and the only letters they write and mail are to me. One told me this way he could teach his son how to write letters when he's old enough, in case the technique & knowledge goes the way of the 8-Track and the Videotape!

However, the exception are the occasional academic requests for input on various topics. Since keeping one's mind, brain & memory operating at peak efficiency is always challenging under any circumstances,--but more particularly here--I always try to respond, whenever possible. [i.e.--a nursing graduate student writing a practicum paper on workplace conflict; a physician writing a book on tropical medicine.]

Anyway, there you have it, since you asked! Now back to your letter--with its wide range of interests many of which mirror my own...

One more comment on a show we both agree has some of the best writing on Television-"LOST". I mentioned that you see things on second viewing that suddenly make total sense based on the whole series. Example: Alpert [the "Other" who never ages] witnesses John Locke's birth in California in 1956, and returns to see him when he is 6 or 7. We have no idea precisely why. Then this season, with the Island's & Locke's time travel, we discover that Locke visited Alpert's camp on the island in 1954 when the H-bomb was leaking...as an adult...and he told Alpert that he was actually born in 1956. And then Locke vanished in a flash.

MICKEY ROURKE: I was also disappointed that he did not win the Oscar. I think Sean Penn's win was influenced by the unexpected defeat of Proposition 8 in California, and the current case before the California Supreme Court.

In any event--I hope this means many more roles for Mr. Rourke in future, serious films.

I have read some fantastic reviews of the film you mentioned: "TWO LOVERS"--sort of a minimalist romantic tragedy stripped of all the usual Hollywood claptrap. Paltrow tends to choose her roles carefully, so I am not surprised at her involvement in what sounds like a very good film. Tell me a bit more about it when you have the time. And if I do see it, I promise a full commentary!

Not sure if I mentioned that "The Graduate" was just shown again a few weeks ago. It has been years since I had watched it. "Lost in Translation" -- Agree. Fascinating film with Bill Murray, Scarlett Johannson. Only saw it once, however. Will watch again at some point.

"Pretty Woman"-- I did like the songs by Roxette!

As with "PRIMER", will be interested in your take on "SAVE THE TIGER" when you get a chance to see it.

And a final film note: Just last week saw "CHINATOWN" again--Polanski's masterpiece.

By now, you know I could talk about movies in detail with someone like you for hours & hours! "Mephisto", "The Servant", "Angels and Insects"... These and many more in future letters...

AFRICA & other places: I need to devote a full letter(s) to those details that really tell the story, and I promise I will-- but let me mention three things touched on in my last letter:

>Egypt: Like a total eclipse of the sun, the pyramids are something that should be seen in person, if at all possible, by everyone. Pictures & film simply do not convey the staggering historical immensity and sense of endless enduring time that one receives when standing in the desert next to these 5,000 year old eternal monuments.

>I am astonished anew every day now by new details of the total disintegration of the nation of Zimbabwe. I was there in the mid-late 1990s--and it was a highly functioning, safe nation with infrastructure & living conditions the envy of most of Africa.

Much to talk about re Zimbabwe if you are interested, including the stunning underestimated prevalence of HIV/AIDS. Forget the triple cocktail or any hope of viable treatment.

>Djibouti--Along with Delhi, India, one of the hottest & most humid places on earth. But when you feel the brutally hot wind off the Red Sea, you know you are in Africa.

I still haven't finished everything in your letter! I have no problems discussing the reasons & misjudgments & misadventures that put me here, I just have to avoid certain areas due to ongoing legal procedures, etc.

But will comment on it. Not "touchy" at all :)

However: Running short of time again--so let me comment on your dating column "OUTSIDE THE BOX": So funny, a unique take on the old "it takes a guy/girl to get a guy/girl.":

(Trust me, KK, I am not one of "those type" of correspondents. There is nothing I haven't done or seen, especially overseas--and whenever the topic of sex does come up, it is usually the most clinical, anatomical, boring way possible!)
[Ed. note: I'm not sure what he is referring to. There was no discussion with him of any sex-related topic.]

>"It was either him, the homeless or the incarcerated." KK! I take that personally!

> The "ball-of-lint" to "The House" with no transition. Like Jackie Chiles said in the Seinfeld finale: "Girl--you have a nickname for everyone!

Sorry "HW" didn't work out. But clearly he wasn't your type!

Really must get this in the mail within minutes. Will tie up loose ends in my next letter. Hope I haven't rambled on too ADD-like for your tastes. Still have your third column "Calling All Kellys!" Very original--will have a few comments.

So--write when you can. Hope the business is staying above water in this economy and again, feel free to send me more columns on a continuing basis and any and all blogs that you grace with your comments. No problem with content--send whatever!

Take care and stay safe.

Michael

P.S. I see the Madoff mea culpa is Thursday (3-12) He will no t like MCC-Manhattan.

Letters from the Inside, Richard Allen Davis, #2

I do not like offering commentary on these letters. That isn't what this is about for me. I merely want to present them to you and you can draw your own conclusions based on them. I enjoy reading your notes to see what these letters evoke in you. I will rarely offer my own commentary, but will offer some editorial explanation occassionally if the inmate letter references something that would make no sense to the reader.

In this next letter's case, I feel I have to offer an explantion and my quandry. Based on Richard Allen Davis' last letter, I didn't want to continue to correspond with him. This was for dual reasons. First, I didn't feel he was a sociopath or at least the type I hope to write to. All my other inmates are extremely bright and have been classified in press and their trials as sociopaths. The second is that Richard creeped me out.

Another odd thing I noticed about this letter is he dates it 3/17/09 but that is today. I checked the postmark and that reads 3/13/09 so he really wrote this letter on the 12th or a bit earlier. Hm....

So I chose not to respond to his letter to me, hoping that would be it. But then today I got another letter from him. The odd thing is he is acting like this is his first response to me. Is he being manipulative to get me to write back again or is he forgetful? I find it hard to believe he has so many letters he'd be confused at who he responded to. Especially because he references my card both times.

I'm not sure what to do. I don't want to correspond with him. I fear if I don't, I'll get a third letter....

***

GOOD EVENING,

I HOPE THAT IT'S EVENING. I DO WANT TO APOLOGIZE FOR NOT ANSWERING SOONER. I RAN OUT OF STAMPS AND HAD TO APPLY FOR SOME WELFARE ENVELOPES "NSF", AS YOU CAN SEE. IT WAS EITHER THIS OR WAIT LONGER.

I WWANT TO THANK YOU FOR THINKING OF WRITING TOO ME, THANK YOU. IT IS REALLY NICE TO HAVE SOMEONE CONSIDER TO WRITE AND OFFER TO CORRESPOND.

YOUR CARD, WITH YOU ON THE FRONT, THAT'S VERY GOOD HOW YOU CHOSE TO PUT THE STRIPES. I HAVE TO SAY THAT YOU DO NOT EVEN LOOK TO BE 38, YOUR LIFE HAS BEEN VERY GOOD TOO YOU.

YES FRIENDS ARE FAR AND FEW TO BE FOUND. I AM NOT TRYING TO VIEW EVERYONE AS THOSE I'VE (DELF) OOPS! DELT WITH, WHO STATE THEY WISH TO BE FRIENDS AND WILL STICK BY ONE. WITHIN SIX MONTHS THEY STOP WRITING--LOL--THEY MOSTLY EXPECT TO BE KICKED DOWN CARDS DRAWN. IF ONLY THEY HAD JUST WAITED WITHOUT ASKING, THEY WOULD HAVE GOTTEN SOMETHING SOONER OR LATER.

AS TO FAMILY, I HAVE ONE SISTER YOUNGER AND TWO OLDER BROTHERS, WE NEVER WERE CLOSE. MOSTLY BECAUSE OF MY PARENTS DIVORCE AND MY DAD GETTING CUSTODY. HE DIDN'T WANT TO MAKE US LIVE WITH HIM, SO IN HIS GREAT WISDOM, HE LET US CHOOSE WHO WE WANTED TO LIVE WITH. MY TWO OLDER BROTHERS WERE FIRST AND THEY CHOSE OUR MOTHER. MYSELF BEING NEXT AND TIRED OF THE OLD MIDDLE KID ISSUE, I CHOSE MY DAD AND THOUGHT TO FINALLY BE THE ONLY ONE :-l? I NEVER THOUGH MY TWO YOUNGER SISTERS WOULD FOLLOW ME. i WAS 11-12 YEARS OLD AND THEM 7 & 5 YEARS OLD. MY OLDEST SISTER DIED 4-5 YEAR LATER. AND i ENDED UP RAISING THEM AND MYSELF, FOR THAT SUMMER AND ALMOS THE NEXT SCHOOL YEAR.

THE ONLY CONTACT "FAMILY" IS WITH MY NIECES "SISTERS KIDS", BUT THEY HAVE THEIR LIVES GOING ON, SO IT'S BEEN A WHILE.

I WOULD APPRECIATE READING THESE STORIES YOU WORTE AND BEING PUBLISHED. VERY IMPRESSIVE. "INK PEN CHANGE"

HELLO AGAIN, YES I'M SORRY ABOUT THE PEN INK FADING OUT. THIS ONE ISN'T SO HEAVY WITH INIK, I SHOULD HAVE CHANGED SOONER. THESE STATE INK FILLERS THAT ARE HANDED OUT, ONE NEVER KNOWS HEOW THEY WILL RUN TILL YOU TRY IT.

BACK TO THESE STORIES YOU WROTE AND HAD PUBLISHED. I GUESS I'LL FIND OUT WHEN i READ THEM--LOL-, I WAS GOING TO ASK IF THEY WERE ABOUT WHEN MOVING TO NY OR ABOUT WHERE YOU GREW UP.

I KNOW NY IS ALWAYS BIG ON "ST. PATRICKS DAY", SO I HOPE YOU ENJOY YOURSELF AND BE SURE TO WEAR GREEN--LOL--OR EXPECT TO BE BLACK & BLUE.

AGAIN, THANKS FOR WRITING AND I DO SEND MY BEST THOUGHTS AND WARMEST WISHES TO YOU AND YOURS.

TAKE CARE
SINCERELY


--RICHARD--

PS: SO YOU KNOW, MAIL NORMALLY TAKE ABOUT 10 WORKING DAYS TO GET TO MY CELL.

Letters from the Inside, Sarah Pender, #2

Kelly,

Thank you for your letter and the enclosed article you authored. Cute. I am interested in how freelance-writing works. Do you just write and send them into a paper or magazine editor and hope they like it? Are phone calls and connections needed? Do you generally write for small local papers? Is it easier than the more widely circulated publications? You write well and I can see why your stories would be popular for short articles-seems like something for Elle, Allure or Cosmo.

Okay, you keep a blog. I'm not exactly sure what a blog is, since the only time I used the internet, both before I was arrested (8 years ago) and while I was out, but limited it to use or work related website search engines, research, news, weather, tech support, etc. I've heard of blogs and think they are like a space for people to respond to a specific topic or writing. Am I correct? How do people find your blog? Do they subscribe or just go to it? Daily? Weekly? Monthly?

I don't have internet access and am not even allowed to receive info. that's printed straight from the internet. I as given your article, but warned that I had to tell you. If you print anything from the internet, it can't have the header/footer that shows its origin. You can cut/paste it to a word processing program or simply cut off the header/footer. Whatever works. Just so you know.

Basically, I spend 23 hours a day locked in a 6X10 cell. I have a hard pillow and mattress, a stainless steel sink and toilet combo, and a formica shelf bolted to the wall that serves as a writing table, but I use it to store books, papers, etc. There is a mesh door at one end, with a heavy solid outer door, and a double hung window at the other end, covered by a heavy metal screen that looks out over an alley lined by century old houses, often neglected with boarded up windows or graffitti. Stray cats and dogs plague the alley, and forage through large trash cans or litter on the ground. Small children play unattended, drug deals are conducted on the nearby street corner, and other crimes can be witnessed several times a year from this window.

In the hour I spend outside this cell, I shower in a three sided steel shower stall, and I get cuffed and walked to another room with my choice of radio or a TV with like seven channels. I don't' watch TV often, but I like to turn the radio on the college station and listen to classical music while I write. It's my peaceful time away from the cacophony of loud voices yelling and carrying on down our hallway of 14 cells. Obnoxious and loud pretty much sums up the majority of the women who reside in lock. (Downstairs, in open population, things are VERY different. It's also significantly different between prisons.)

Women are sentenced to lock (Disciplinary Segregation) for 5 days to 1 year per offense, depending on the severity of the offense and frequency of write ups. Being in an unauthorized area, fighting other inmates, arguing, being smart or insolent with an officer, theft, having ex, assaulting staff, failing a drug screen or in my case, escape, are all reasons (among many others) women come to lock.

While I am here, everything is restricted, from the cheapest hygiene items, to our phone calls and visits. Meals are served in our rooms on plastic trays three times daily: 6:30AM, 11AM, 4:00PM. Our governor privatized the food service and cut the cost of food per prisoner per meal from 1.41 to .99. You can imagine the quality of our food. Um. Yeah. That's a story in itself.

I spend most of my day writing letters to friends, family, and making new connections that are positive and mutually supportive. I read books, most recently received Long, Quiet Highway by Natalie Goldberg and am waiting on The Three Laws of Performance by Steve Vanto. a Landmark Forum Leader. Have you ever heard of landmark Education, or the Landmark Forum? I'm working through some of the curriculum with a leader, and intend to put together a proposal to bring the Forum to this prison, once I am out of lock and put into population. I want to help cause the transformation of these women's thinking and limited boxes they live in, to empower them and improve the quality of their lives and raise their goals in life beyond drinking, mooching money off welfare programs, sex, drugs and clubbing. Break out of the labels, the stigmas, the stereotypes. Be something greater.

And I plan to do that right after I write my book. I decided to write it after the first of the year, and have about 130 pages finished. I could write it faster, but I need to wait on some transcripts to get here, line up people to help, (working on getting a typist to type up and email to editor) and waiting on a book about copyright laws, and laws on publishing true crime and autobiographies, as well as I still need to get a book on Getting Published: 101, or something. So it's cool, you felt compelled to write, given your hobby of writing. This is all new to me. All the writing I ever did was in high school and college courses, letters or short stories for fun. I would like any instruction you could give.

Your travels sound exciting! Never s pent much time travelling (mostly because I've been in prison for 8 years) but have traveled to several US cities. I like travel magazines and photos when my friends/family go on vacation. My aunt recently dated an Alaskan cruise captain and went on several cruises up to the snowy state. I wonder if you see the aurora borealis up there? That's one thing I've always wanted to do. It's magical. (Well, I get that it's electro-magnetic disturbances in the atmosphere, but it's still neat.)

Anyone I've ever known from NYC says they fell in love with the city, and the busy-ness of it all. I didn't really understand that until I went to Chicago. Definitely not the same scale, but I get the allure of so much variety in culture, architecture, low and high income homes, big and tiny business, corporate downtown, big shopping, or a little café. There's everything you need right there. I traveled by car, bus and train and found you can get just about anywhere you need to go on public transportation if you do it right and aren't picky about the occasionally smelly person or being smashed in on a subway at rush hour. Always an experience. I invested in an MP3 player and found peace.

Yeah, real estate prices around the country are so low, but they saw that coming for a while. "The housing bubble" would burst, they said. I saw a map of houses that had been foreclosed on just in Chicago and it as staggering! Anyone who has plenty of money would do well to buy now, so when the market stabilizes, they could reap the benefits, at least that seems practical to me. I know high-end real estate is different, though. How many people have an extra 13 million to toss around for a cool pad? A small percentage of the US population. Am I off base here?

Do you like your job?

I agree about karma. A fine example: my escape. The universe blessed me for the good I sent out from my life. Sure, I've done things not worthy of a Nobel Peace Prize, but overall, I expect lots of good things and people in my life. and do not shrink back when the storm comes through. Not sure what I think about reincarnation. Possible, yes. Probable? Not a clue.

I'd love to read your published stories, and get to know you. Thanks for reaching out and making a connection.

Sarah

Letters from the Inside, Michael Swango, #4

Dear KK---

Hi! Received your letter on Friday, so I was able to read your most entertaining stories/slices of NYC life over the weekend. You definitely capture the mood & cadence of "Sex and the City" -- except that yours are much more realistic; because, of course, they are real!

Anyway, several comments on the three stories a bit later. Two quick notes: 1) If I switch to pencil and/or back & forth, it will be because good pens can be hard to find [Much like "good men" in your stories.]
2) good chance another letter will follow tomorrow--this letter is already pretty long in my head. We'll see how it goes.

Well, we have two shows in common--actually more. I believe "Mad Men" could almost be used as a screening device. If someone says the show is awful, I'm not sure a conversation with them would last very long!

Utterly brilliant writing. I started watching it at the very beginning--and have been more impressed with each episode. (There are now 26). Just by sheer coincidence with your letter--AMC started re-running the 2nd Season this evening. (you might recall it begins the the Valentine's Day episode.) Just as good the second time around.

I've read several articles, talking about how exquisitely precise the show's creators are about exactitude in recreating the early 1960s down to the last detail. But of course, what gives the show so much verisimilitude is the smoking and drinking and the place of women in the social structure. In Season 1 we see a pregnant woman smoking--and second-hand smoke everywhere--for the kiddies too.

I totally agree with you that it is an "amazingly good show." It rightly has won multiple Emmy's & Golden Globes--including Best Actor in a Drama for Jon Hamm. I think I heard that a 3rd & 4th season are already "locks." I'm sure you can confirm that with an on-line check. The 3rd Season should be later this summer or thereabouts.

"LOST": Talk about great writing. This is another show I have watched since the crash of Oceanic Flight 815 on 22 Sep 04!

The true genius of this incredibly complex series is that the writers from the very beginning realized that simply staging a modern-day "lost at sea" saga would not be enough. Enter the flashback. And not just a brief image of past life--but entire hour-long episodes creating these characters in minute and striking detail... And they continually up the ante & approach the bounds of creativity. First the absolutely fascinating "Dharma Initiative", --->Kelly: The "Dharma Initiative" deserve an entire show of its own---then "The Others," and then the "flash forwards after the rescue--actually the three-year interlude before the return... Did I mention an island that actually moves through time and space? ! "Complex & confusing" do not begin to describe "LOST."

This is another show that bears delicious fruit upon re-viewing. Watching the earlier episodes again you realize even more how intricately each piece of the puzzle fits together.


If truth be told, the best writing in entertainment today is probably in series television, especially the cable channels.

As you point out, even some of the highly praised films turn out to be notso much. I have heard the same criticism of "Benjamin Button" that you called "shock and disappointment." And regarding Revolutionary Road--you & I simply must read the original 1961 novel by Richard Yates--which is supposed to be simply brilliant and utterly bleak, totally capturing the ennui, disappointment, and tragedy of the shattered "Great American Dream." Yours in an opinion I value, so I am surprised that you found the movie quite uninspiriting. Too bad, with such excellent source material.


Re some of the other show you mentioned: >Love "30 ROCK"--period. Tina Fey & Alec Baldwin are gold. Also like "THE OFFICE". (I've seen some of its British original, and it holds up quite well.)

>Unfortunately, I'm not able to see "BIG LOVE", but everything I've read & heard confirms your opinion. Chloe Sevigny is one of several actresses who I will watch in almost anything they are in. Amazing talent.

>Another of those actresses if Toni Collette. I've read rave reviews of her as a woman with dissociative disorder in "United States of Tara." Have you seen any of that?

>Again unfortunately, I'm not able to see the latest incarnation of Bill Maher's political gabfest. You might recall the cancellation of his "Politically Incorrect" show on ABC in the days after 9/11, when the thought & opinion police were at their peak.

I try to catch Maher whenever he appears in another venue. I don't always agree with him, but he is always "entertainingly opinionated."

>Even though I don't watch "The Bachelor," I could not help but hear about the latest inane "controversy" with the two women (staged, I am sure!) However, if you were on the show I would watch just for the fireworks I am sure you would provide! :-)

Before leaving television, may I recommend another Series, which-coincidentally--just started its second season tonight (8 MAR): "BREAKING BAD"

The story of a high school chemistry teacher who finds out he has terminal lung cancer, and decides to cook crystal meth with a former loser student of his, who is now a low level drug dealer. Complications ensue. Actually---I have a review which I will enclose.

The first season, due to the strike was only about 8 episodes, if you decide to DVD it. There are some quite memorable scenes -- but I'll save my comments for another time.

[By the way, have you ever considered expanding your writing to include TV and/or film reviews/criticism. sounds like you would be a natural*]
*Absolutely best TV criticism ever: Two books long and exquisitely detailed written in the 70s/80s by the outstanding writer Harlan Elllison:THE GLASS TEAT & THE GLASS TEAT II. Ellison spend months watching television almost 24/7. The two books are cultural touchstones of that era. Like so many books, I read them in Africa.

Well, as you can see--give me a paragraph on a subject (television) and I'll give you a few pages! Let me close the TV Guide portion of this letter---BUT I definitely have some more shows to discuss in future letters.

{i.e.--my confession, yes, I addictively watch "Gossip Girl" OMFG!! XOXO. Shameful but true...]

***

Because I need to get this in the mail, let me comment on your first story: "Outside the Box: The Big Bangs Theory." As you would expect from any individual reaction to a particular piece of writing, my comments will be highly idiosyncratic and personal!:

--I will remember the phrase "Asperberger's Cut"! By the way, do you know that Aspberger's Syndrome has popped up in the plotline of seemingly every show on TV.

--"Bad bangs are the leading cause of suicide."

--"Fine line between hip & shortbus." [Ed.: I didn't write that line; Adriana Mole coined that one.]
Great lines, KK!

--Absolutely true: "When I was younger--a slightly older woman taught me all about men shaving their 'nether regions--or rather the highly erotic & sensual shaving of the man by the woman. And at the risk of sounding too personal, [but it is your topic :-)] --I will not discuss the unique "joys" a man experiences when he is with a woman who completely shaves her nether regions. Suffice it say they can be incredible. I'm sure, however, that you know.

--Finally: totally changing from sensuality of hair (of lack there of) to the yeccchh factor. My only "back hair" story. When I was in the Marines--we had a guy in the platoon by the actual name of ZOOK. However, his nickname became "ZOO Freak" when it was discovered he has large, large amounts of the aforesaid.

Even writing this now, I get shudders of disgust. Despite all I've been though & seen since.

Your next two columns, plus some of your other questions & ideas, in Part 2 of this letter---probably tomorrow or Tuesday... Letter-writing in here, Mickey Rourke, Two Lovers, Movies of the 60s & 70s...

Will absolutely tell you all about Africa. Much to say, especially with your cosmopolitan interests.

AND how I cam to be here. Some things I'm not allowed to discuss--but I think I can fill in some gaps.

Your take care, KK. Please do send me more columns and any & all blogs that you post. I really am interested, and will always give you my honest response.

Thanks again. Hope to hear from you soon.

Yours,

Michael

Letters from the Inside, Thomas Bart Whitaker, #2

Dear Kelly,

Thank you very much for your fun letter, which I received on Friday. I especially enjoyed reading your quirky takes on the madness we call modern life. I suppose I must disagree with your self-analyses of not being a "real" writer, though I think our difference of opinion pivots on that trouble word in quotations. Hmm... how post-modern, and I'm still in the first paragraph. Not a good sign. Anyways, for what it is work, I enjoyed the brief trip into the world as envisioned by Kelly. If a bad haircut does indeed lead to a bad relationship, then I must say, under my present conditions, I am rather glad to be going bald. :-)

You are an extremely multi-faceted individual, which is something I enjoy in fellow human beings. I am not sure if taking the LSATs for fun makes you "nuts or a nerd or both" but so what if it does? It will be an interesting experience, and that is pretty much all we have here in God's forgotten ant farm. I've been taking some correspondence paralegal courses for a while, and have often wondered how well I might do myself on these exams. I have a..shall we say"low" opinion of every attorney I've met in connection to this case. So if these idiots can get into law school, surely the two of us would be capable. I have sent over 300 letters out to large law firms in your fair city, looking for pro bono help on my federal write of HC... want to guess how many responses I've received? Hint: It's a number Christians in the Middle Ages believed to be heretical. Bloody lawyers. You wouldn't fit into the club, I'm afraid, though your double-barrelled shotgun blast of wit would be able to write many an amusing article on what really goes on in courtrooms in the country.

Poor James Frey. I actually have something in common with Mr. Frey, in that the both of us have been unceremoniously crucified by that cow Oprah. I used to be somewhat ambivalent towards this cultural icon. Alas, no longer. It is pretty cool you were able to get a recommendation from him for Columbia. That is bound to count for something, though 22 out of 700 are some pretty scary odds. What does the full two-year program cost? You mentioned it was expensive. Surely some form of student aid is available for you?

All of this has fostered a question in my mind, Kelly, and I hope you will forgive me some large measure of bluntness. You seem so very interesting and successful. Why would you waste your time writing some loser convict like me? I have come to grips with the epiphany that most of my pen-pals have lives which resemble trainwrecks, and are simply looking for someone in a comparatively worse situation, so they can feel better about their own fates. Your clearly do not fit into this demographic. Some sort of leftist project? I guess can't see myself as someone who would be interesting enough to hold your attention for long. I am so boring. Some of that is situational--my world is 6X10. Some, however, is just me. There was a time that I would not have asked, but I have grown so weary with the never-ending cycle of here-today-gone-tomorrow friends that I feel compelled to question people's motives. Don't tell anyone I am so desperately lonely, it will ruin my image, ha ha. Sigh.

Anyways, how did you "publicize" being fired? I suppose the whole PR world is interesting to me, because I am attempting to publicize my website/situation. I won't ask for tips, don't worry. I would hate to be so boorish or predictable. Do you ever begin to feel "allergic" to labels or advertisements, not that you understand the mechanics of how all of that works? I seem to possess some very effective antibodies to advertisement. I don't believe I have ever purchased a product based on anything other than my personal sense of aesthetics. I tend to avoid obvious labels, for some reason. Hm...now who is nuts?

What is the addy for your blog? I may get someone to print out portions of it. Would you be opposed if I quoted you at some point? My readership is no doubt paltry compared to your own, but perhaps I could snag you a few new readers. I seem to be stuck in the low-to-mid single thousands per week, sadly. The whole [death penalty] issue is not one most people want to address, though. Who can blame them? It makes the average citizen party to murder. Anyways, to answer your questions about curse words and photographs: I can receive both in my letters. Though it should be noted that the level of sexual frustration has reached truly epic proportions, so bikinis and such are probably not a good idea as I am likely to break some vital piece of machinery in my head upon viewing such a thing. Besides nobody wants some creepy DR [Death Row] guy sending them heart-sick missives proclaiming his love and admiration (just kidding. I would never do such a thing.)

[Editor's note: To clarify, I sent him a benign article I had written about a free pool in my neighborhood that I got published, but explained to him that I had copied and pasted it into a document in order to print it for him, because the original article had a picture of me at the pool, and I deemed it inappropriate to send to him. I then asked him if he was allowed to get articles that had curses in them sent to him. I know that all mail is read prior to being handed over to prisoners and wondered if foul language was censored. I was not going to write a letter with curses in it, but there was a film review about a new movie about the death penalty that had quotes in it that had curses in them, and I wanted to check prior to mailing it to him if there were language restrictions.]

My main worry would be what would happen if the mailroom hags sent the letter to someone else's cell.

Well, I hope this finds you well. Sorry for my microscopic handwriting---never been told that before. NEXT TIME I WILL TRY SOMETHING ELSE, ok? UNTIL THEN!

Yours,

TBW

Letters from the Inside, Sarah Jo Pender, #1

Anyone who reads me here often knows I love watching America's Most Wanted. Two weeks ago they did a special interview with inmate Sarah Jo Pender. WHO SHE IS.

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VIDEO and PICTURES OF HER.

Apparently she killed two of her roommates, was sentenced to prison and then escaped. The interview took place after she appeared on AMW and was re-captured. I found her new prison address and wrote her. Here is her response:

Kelly,

I received your card this evening. Thank you for your interested and reaching out to say hello.

I am interested in the significance of the photo on the card. You said it was of you. It is a professional photo--why were you having them taken? What kind of public relations do you do?

I'd love to read some of your published stories. Do you write short stories like in the New Yorker? or artilce for magazines? I'm very curious. I enjoy writing and have thought about publishing, but do not know how I might go about it or how hard it is to get in the industry. What made you want to write? Would you write full time if you could? or is it a hobby? What subjects do ou most like to cover?

I can see the allure of a dating story column. They are popular stories in Cosmo and other women's magazines. Did the column get discontinued or did you decide that broadcasting the intimate details and guffawas of your personal relationships was no longer goof for your dating life? I mean who wants to go out with someone, regardless of how beautiful and well-dressed, when they know if they don't measure up it will be immortalized in print? First dates are especially awkward. But it does sound like fun.

"FreeBird" is playing on the radio. I like playing this on my guitar and singing-except when it gets to the end, I can't play that--but I kill it on air guitar. :-) (The irony doesn't escape me.)

I love music. It is an integral part of my life and has lulled me through hard times and celebrate my best days--and been the soundtrack to fantastic moments of my life.

What are you read these days? I just finished up a book by Lynne McTaggart called The Intention Experiment and am working through Caught in the Act by Toinette Lippe, a book about living life authentically by removing ourselves from what we do and what we know as being the definition of who we are. I am on a journey of discovering and harnessing my strength, power and understanding of my very being in order to change my life and my circumstances.

One of my favorite books is This I Believe -- a collection of essays from the National Public Radio's weekly broadcast back in the 50's and resurrected in 2000 or so. Famous and ordinary people alike write an essay on a core belief. It made me examine what I believed in and when I looked deep inside myself, one belief jumped out at me. Justice. And so I picked it out, turned it, started at it and put it in my pocket and kept it there until I did something about it.

What do you believe?

Pick any subject and elaborate, or make a short list.

What made you write me?

I look forward to hearing from you. Until then, be well, and give your dachshund a scratch in its favorite place. I love dogs!

Sincerely,

Sarah Jo Pender

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Film From the Inside

Film from the Inside

I wonder if people thought this guy was crazy for doing this. Sounds like a very interesting project/film.