Letters from the Inside, Sarah Pender, #32

Kelly,

Great to hear from you! I found the enclosures interesting, as it seems to support more and more of the US population being incarcerated or knowing someone who is/has been. I believe it is directly related to our culture and what we embrace in the media. Honestly, I have turned into my parents' peers, thinking about violence in movies, video games, sitcoms, music, books, etc. And the degradation of the family institution. Pushing God out of schools should have been accomplished by ushering in ethics classes or something.

You mentioned how you wonder how you'd handle going to prison. Well, going to jail and going to prison are very different experiences. Jail is the worse of the two because of how dirty and cold everything is. And a lot of people there are still drunk, on drugs, or doing them. (What they smuggled up inside them.) People are more assholes in county jail, territorial, less supervised, and there's no peace. The strip search, de-lousing, the noise, smells, awful food, etc. is hard. Once you get to prison, people are more settled. They have more autonomy, and life is more normal. People have jobs, their own clothes/uniforms, possessions, there is more to do to keep people occupied, and the guards are nicer in prison than in jail. There's a lot more, but--oh prison is much cleaner! I think if you had issues, it would be with the uncleanliness and inability to get away from chaos. Although the whole first part sucks, you usually find one other person you connect with and you keep each other sane with normal conversation and a buddy system for toilet use, meals, etc.

I'm curious why you aren't interested in a dating/casual sex relationship with Amir, at least why you are still looking. Do you have to be in exclusive relationships to have sex?

How's the job search? Have you gotten a sign about what you should do with your career? Stay self-employed? Or go into the normal 9-5 workforce? I know about going too many directions and spreading yourself too thin. No one gets your full attention, which also means that nothing you do is fully yours in a way you can say you did your best. Your life begins to run you instead of you running your life. So, what are you committed to?

[redacted.]

I get a kick out of you calling your dog THE MINI. Not just Mini, but THE MINI. The one and onlyl. Mini. You are aggressive? In what way? You can train him not to bark at other dogs. It's offensive todogs, hence him getting bit in the face the other week. I know Mini is wagging his tail but its the equivalent of you screaming in my ear while hugging me.

It takes patiences, consistency and lots of dog treats!

Thanks for the info on Antisocial Personality Disorder. That was really informative. So, what's the additional criteria for being a sociopath? or is it one and the same? This is interesting because I realize I do know a lot of people here that are this way. I had a buddy ask me if I thought she was a sociopath. I said I didn't know because I don't know all the symptons, but that it was possible. At the least, she needs therapy and a good kick in the ass.

And what's the difference between a sociopath and a psychopath? From reading those, I am pretty sure Rick is one or at least something similar.

If you hate yoga,, why do you go? Because its free?

I forgot what day your birthday is on. I didn't write it down. What is it? Did you take the New Orleans trip for a self-present? I've never been, but I'd love to go to the French Quarter and drink on Bourban St. Did you get a t-shirt? That sounds corny, but it seems appropriate from NO. What all neat stuff did you eat? Please tell me you ate alligator. I must know what it tastes like. If you say chicken, I"ll die!

I did a watercolor on the envelope for you. Cherry blossoms to mark spring. I've been working on a series of themed envelopes to use as gifs in exchange for donations to my legal fund. Free Sarah Fund! I've been making progress.

I went through and collected chunks of my trial and post trial record and new evidence to put in a packet together for building a new court petitiion. I got a copy of the supposed confession letter used against me in court, along with the handwriting examples the analyst used and I'm having it re-analyzed. I absolutely did not write this letter, Kelly. It doesn't match my writing in several marked ways, not only the letter differences, but spacing, shape, and height. Spelling, punctuation, style and form. Vocabulary usage. Length. Even down to the fold. My whole life I have tri-folded letters, from being a secretary and before that working for my father. It wasfolded with quarters, like Rick does. It does not have my fingerprints on it. There wasn't even a postmarked envelope with it. And it's so juvenile, it's pathetic. My attorney was USELESS. I'm telling you, my trial was a CIRCUS.

Anyway, when Rick admitted to having another man forget the letter using samples ofm y writing, I thought it was enough, and I didn't need an analyst. The guy who sid he wrote it--his prints ARE on the letter. And when I sent the private investigator over there, the guy didn't deny it. He said Rick showed him samples of my writing and asked him to write a letter. But he didn't admit it, either. Whe the PI was about to leave he asked, "If I DID write the letter, how much trouble woudl I be in?"

Once I put him on the stand, he denied writing it. What could I do?

Anyway, I"m working on finding a case where new evidence was introduced or old evidence was impeached using a post-trial expert. Mom found a lady who's been analyzing handwriting for 21 years in Chicago. $600 for the analysis. $200-$500 to present a report/testimony for the courts.

I am also looking into a new software that analyzes handwriting statistically. Been out about 5 years. In trials, it was 94-97% accurate in 1000 cases. That's way better than humans. I'm also looking for trials where people tested human accuracy.

Beyond that my friend's friend who is an attorney is willing to look at what I've put together and see what help she can provide either herself or finding a group that's interested in justice to help.

In fact, I need to get working on finishing that legal packet. I have been focused on legal, legal, legal. Creating what's possible out of what appears otherwise.

It's an adventure!

Take care!

Sarah