Dear Kelly,
Like your historical Doppelganger, Scheherzade, I feel as though I have 1001 things to talk about with you--so let me get started.
First sentence in history to use both those words together.
Final notes from your earlier letter: The moreI look at it, the more I believe that simple photo from Mexico of you with your arm around Amir's neck, him staring perfectly symmetrically at the camera, and you with that loving angelic look on your face (I'm not offering false compliments, KK, it really is very pretty) that photo defines you both. Shouldl this become permanent, make sure that photo is always around.
>And the story from Mexican customs on your return flight was fascinating. You, the cute white American girl [think Mary Lousie in Weeds] almost undergroing a full-body cavity search; the crazy Marlboro/nails lady being upgraded to First Class; and AMIR--need I saw more. AMIR being waved on though.."board the plane now, sir, no, no, no check you board now..." White lady come here when we finish...
>And one more comment on the series of photos with your short hair--straight and frizzy/glasses sans glasses: You should consider playing the role of Bruce Willis when they make Day of the Jackal 2. You are a woman of many faces, my dear.
Moving on your letter (early Feb):
One of NY's hottest singles! Impressive. Don't tell me you don't have a fascinating NY social life...party at the Spanish Benevolent Society...party with Amir at the Brooklyn Museum...
[Ed.: I'm omitting POEM TALK.}
***
If the story of "John" and his virtually unique experience with HIV and Jenia--girlfriend and AIDS research scientist and Kelly caught in the middle wasn't strange enough/your last details on the subject convince me it must be told--whether in a memoir or in a fact-based novel.
RE: Our fictional story--a work in progress--Why would our main character want to do that? As you put it--what was the allure?
If, in reality, there is no absolute raison d etre then we have two choices.
A) Simply describe what is happening---tell the story. Let the reader's jaw drop in amazement/at both the acts and the randomness of choices.
B) Invent a back story...brutal childhood...power/revenge/etc.
I know that doesn't give us why...yet.
Not an IDOL watcher--I was the first couple of seasons--but I know that you are. So tell me, Tyler and Lopez, and how they change the show for better or wrose... I do see highlights on Chelsea and elsewhere. The other night I saw Lopez crying and being "comforted" by the men. OMG! Puh---leeze. Grow a pair, J-LO!
[Ed.: I'm omitting commentary on the blog article I sent him YOU SHOULD DATE AN ILLITERATE GIRL.]
I plan on reading "The Wave" this weekend. Defintely the kind of story demands full attention.
You are right---Beautiful review: By TIm Flannery The Sound of a Wild Snail Eating by Elizabeth Tova Bailey
Also something I want to save. I love the image of time literally slowing down to the pace of a snail...for the author...perhaps as it would on a starship voyage of many years to Alpha Centauri. 43 light years away...or perhaps in the foothills of the Rocky Mountains...
Will have more comments. You have gotta love the self-fertilization dont' you? Just think---eliminates the need for those troublesome men.
Thank you for all three items/articles---everything you send to m e is always so intriguing and fascinating.
***
Sorry for the delay with this letter. I wanted to get it out to you before the weekend. as it won't go out until Sunday.
Could I ask you to look for and send an article from Vanity Fair? It is either in the current issue or upcoming issue.
Written by MIchael Lewish it is about the financial meltdown in Ireland. Thank you.
Did not receive any letters from you (so far) this week--but I consider two things: 1) Mail is always delayed during a holiday week and 2) AMIRITIS: I know he will be taking a lot of your time.
Spring is on the way....again, that is the rumor. Thinking of you--hoping you stay safe and warm.
Take care.
Your friend,
Michael
Monday, March 14, 2011
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Letters from the Inside, Sarah Pender, #58
Dear Kelly,
I laughed so hard that I nearly peed on myself when you guessed that Amir's big gift might be a taxidermied dog. That gave me an idea: how fun it would be to pay Guess the Gift Game with Amir. Like have him give you one or two clues a day, you post them on your blog and have your friends guess along with you until he shows up with whatever odd or crazy thing it might be. Post up a photo of it.
A clue of: It has teeth but doesn't bite" could be stuffed Toto, or a ticket to see Sawlady perform or a Venus fly trap. (Okay, I know it doesn't have teeth but close) or a watch (gears inside have teeth).
By now, you've gotten your big gift, had your Vday dinner, and hopefully maintained your sanity and manners enough to get through a week without wigging out on your lover.
I am amazed that you cook such wonderful food and stay so thin. You must have serious self control. AND eat a lot of leftovers, because you simply can't cook a good meal for oneor two without leftovers.
What a neat life of Natalia Paruz--mother a concert pianist, father a reserach scientist, a teenager without the Martha Graham dance company, a one woman cabaret, and Saw Lady subway shows. Amazing.
In the past week, I went from amped up and excited, joyful to sketchy, paranoid, uncontrollably crying, and generally stupified. Now I'm just sort of foggy and anxious, doing my best. I've avoided letters for 2 weeks and feel disconnected to people. I think if I could return to some level of normalcy, I'd pull out of this. I hate that I have to spend such a huge portion of my day just trying to be okay and manage my focus.
I read an article about how a lady who had an okay life was attractive, healthy and family went to get help for her chronic depression and panic attacks and the clinic pretty much dismissed her personal mental and emotional storms as dramatization since she "had everything going for her" and had "no reason" to be depressed. As if mental illness is a sole problem of poor, drunk, toothless, jobless, sick people. I thought of you and how despite being beautiful, intelligent, healthy having friends, a boyfriend and being incredibly creative tha tyou have a mental illness and how it impacts you on a daily basis and often at really inopportune times. People have extreme prejudice against mental issues, I think others want to ignore or downplay it because it scares them that it could happen to normal, pretty,s mart, healthy people, it could happen to them. They can easily separate themselves -- us and them -- from drunks, homeless, criminals, but not you. And in the prison context, the staff--custody and healthcare and administrators-- are "obsessively preoccupied" with thinking prisoners are faking it, as a prominent psychiatrist noted in a review of mental health care in prisons, and it results in deficient treatment and perpetuates misbehavior that lengthens a person's time spent in solitary hell.
DAY 700 of being held hostage in a bathroom.
Thankfully, Valentine's Day went well for you after the week of turmoil, however you didn't seem excited about it. I could not tell from the photo, but I wonder if they matched your decor. Like, did he add the detail of getting red and white roses in a black container? I don't think they have black roses per se, but maybe a deep purple that appear black. Now THAT would be cool. Even just a dozen, you know? I think gifts that are person-specific are the absolute best, no matter how big or small. The rose gift was beautiful. I hope you are feeling more secure in your relationship lately.
The review you sent of The Sound of a Wild Snail Eating reminds me of the short story I wrote about my ladybug. I connected with the author regarding her snail watching while sick---I kept mind throughout most of my breakdown and recovery. Physically I was ok, but mentally, I was slow and enjoyed the slow life of a handicapped ladybug.
How did your article/photo/ for Time Out NY go? Kelly how cool is that?
I am so starved for conversation with someone--with people--who have m ore depth than Liz Taylor's makeup and the time to pull out like taffy the meangins and nuances of our subject, but I am stuck wtih three sentence exchanges and the same boring rhetoric as the day before and before that, and when will it end?
The envelope I'm sending is from an idea I have to create an awareness compaign. Holding Hands for Social Justice basically puts a call out to mail artists to create a representation of their hands--print, printing, photocopy, drawing, tracing, collage, etc. and send it to me to show their support of me and others who are oppressed and marginalized in society. The idea is to scan each of the works into a blog and create an online archive--another positive piece of internet info for me. I have someone who will help me send out the flyers world wide and once the pieces are archived he will send the participants documentation for conributing along with info about me and my efforts to create justice from within. I sitll need someone to actually scan in the pieces and type the person's name, city, state and country beneath it. Would you be willing to do this? I suspect there'd be maybe 3-8 each week to scan or photograph and post up. It will be Art for Humanity. First, criminal injustic and the marginalized mentally ill and then who knows. It could be huge. Please let me know.
I laughed so hard that I nearly peed on myself when you guessed that Amir's big gift might be a taxidermied dog. That gave me an idea: how fun it would be to pay Guess the Gift Game with Amir. Like have him give you one or two clues a day, you post them on your blog and have your friends guess along with you until he shows up with whatever odd or crazy thing it might be. Post up a photo of it.
A clue of: It has teeth but doesn't bite" could be stuffed Toto, or a ticket to see Sawlady perform or a Venus fly trap. (Okay, I know it doesn't have teeth but close) or a watch (gears inside have teeth).
By now, you've gotten your big gift, had your Vday dinner, and hopefully maintained your sanity and manners enough to get through a week without wigging out on your lover.
I am amazed that you cook such wonderful food and stay so thin. You must have serious self control. AND eat a lot of leftovers, because you simply can't cook a good meal for oneor two without leftovers.
What a neat life of Natalia Paruz--mother a concert pianist, father a reserach scientist, a teenager without the Martha Graham dance company, a one woman cabaret, and Saw Lady subway shows. Amazing.
In the past week, I went from amped up and excited, joyful to sketchy, paranoid, uncontrollably crying, and generally stupified. Now I'm just sort of foggy and anxious, doing my best. I've avoided letters for 2 weeks and feel disconnected to people. I think if I could return to some level of normalcy, I'd pull out of this. I hate that I have to spend such a huge portion of my day just trying to be okay and manage my focus.
I read an article about how a lady who had an okay life was attractive, healthy and family went to get help for her chronic depression and panic attacks and the clinic pretty much dismissed her personal mental and emotional storms as dramatization since she "had everything going for her" and had "no reason" to be depressed. As if mental illness is a sole problem of poor, drunk, toothless, jobless, sick people. I thought of you and how despite being beautiful, intelligent, healthy having friends, a boyfriend and being incredibly creative tha tyou have a mental illness and how it impacts you on a daily basis and often at really inopportune times. People have extreme prejudice against mental issues, I think others want to ignore or downplay it because it scares them that it could happen to normal, pretty,s mart, healthy people, it could happen to them. They can easily separate themselves -- us and them -- from drunks, homeless, criminals, but not you. And in the prison context, the staff--custody and healthcare and administrators-- are "obsessively preoccupied" with thinking prisoners are faking it, as a prominent psychiatrist noted in a review of mental health care in prisons, and it results in deficient treatment and perpetuates misbehavior that lengthens a person's time spent in solitary hell.
DAY 700 of being held hostage in a bathroom.
Thankfully, Valentine's Day went well for you after the week of turmoil, however you didn't seem excited about it. I could not tell from the photo, but I wonder if they matched your decor. Like, did he add the detail of getting red and white roses in a black container? I don't think they have black roses per se, but maybe a deep purple that appear black. Now THAT would be cool. Even just a dozen, you know? I think gifts that are person-specific are the absolute best, no matter how big or small. The rose gift was beautiful. I hope you are feeling more secure in your relationship lately.
The review you sent of The Sound of a Wild Snail Eating reminds me of the short story I wrote about my ladybug. I connected with the author regarding her snail watching while sick---I kept mind throughout most of my breakdown and recovery. Physically I was ok, but mentally, I was slow and enjoyed the slow life of a handicapped ladybug.
How did your article/photo/ for Time Out NY go? Kelly how cool is that?
I am so starved for conversation with someone--with people--who have m ore depth than Liz Taylor's makeup and the time to pull out like taffy the meangins and nuances of our subject, but I am stuck wtih three sentence exchanges and the same boring rhetoric as the day before and before that, and when will it end?
The envelope I'm sending is from an idea I have to create an awareness compaign. Holding Hands for Social Justice basically puts a call out to mail artists to create a representation of their hands--print, printing, photocopy, drawing, tracing, collage, etc. and send it to me to show their support of me and others who are oppressed and marginalized in society. The idea is to scan each of the works into a blog and create an online archive--another positive piece of internet info for me. I have someone who will help me send out the flyers world wide and once the pieces are archived he will send the participants documentation for conributing along with info about me and my efforts to create justice from within. I sitll need someone to actually scan in the pieces and type the person's name, city, state and country beneath it. Would you be willing to do this? I suspect there'd be maybe 3-8 each week to scan or photograph and post up. It will be Art for Humanity. First, criminal injustic and the marginalized mentally ill and then who knows. It could be huge. Please let me know.
Friday, March 11, 2011
Letters from the Inside, Ira Einhorn, #17
HI KELLY,
I FEED BACK AS QUICKLY AS I CAN SO WROTE YOU ABOUT THE ADDRESSES - RECEIVED AND USED-AS SOON AS I GOT THEM.
TWICE YOUR POSTCARDS GOT PUT IN A WRONG PLACE (WHY I DON'T KNOW) BUT I GDID GET THEM THE SAME DAY AND ANSWERED THEM.
MICROX HAS DISAPPEARED (IT WAS 1968-70) SO NO SURPRISE AS IT RARELY COMES UP IN MY MEMORY AND IT WAS T IME OF MUCH ACTIVITY WHEN I WAS WEARING A VERY PUBLIC MEDIA HAT.
FOR FUN: SEE IF YOUC AN LOCATE THE SMOKE-IN I ORGANIZED AT INDEPENDENCE HALL AROUND THE SAME TIME. IT LED TO THE ARREST OF A TEMPLE UNIVERSITY TEACHER AND A STI-INB AROUND A POLICE CAR, SO MUCH OF LEAD TO SOME PUB.
WE DISTRIBUTED A POUND OF ROLLED UP GRASS---INVITATION WAS BY WORD OF MOUTH.
EVERYONE HERE HAS A VISCIOUS UPPER RESPIRATORY INFECTION.
4 TIMES SOUNDS AS IF IT NEVER WENT AWAY: i'M HAVING THAT PROBLEMMORE OFTEN--THINK I HAVE KO.ED SOMETHING AND BOOM: BACK.
NB: WIRTTEN FRIDAY BUT MAIL NOT PICKED UP UNTIL MONDAY.
I NOW HAVE A MIX OFM Y -- SINCE XMAS--BATTLE WITH MY EARS, THOUGH AT A LOWER LEVEL AND A VERSION OF WHAT YOU GOT.
THE EARS PRODUCE TINITUS WHICH IS HELL.
THE UPPER R. PRODUCES SWEAT: i MOVE, I SWEAT.
IF I'M IN A TOO HOT ROOM: LIBRARY LAST NIGHT AT 7--I FEEL AS IF I'M GOING TO FAINT AS THE HEAT SEEMS TO JACK UP THE EAR AND UPPER R. VIRIL.
IT'S A CONTINUAL STRUGGLE THAT WEAKENS, BUT FORCES EXTREME CONCENTRATION.
THE DOWN HERE IS EXTREME AMONG BOTH GUARDS AND PRISONERS: YOU COULD CUT IT WITH A KNIFE.
MY IBT SUDDENLY DISAPPEARED SO I AM WONDERFULLY NEWSLESS. A LAWYER FRIEND PROVIDES IT SO WHO KNOWS WHAT HAPPENED.
HAVING BEEN INDEPENDENT ALL MY LIFE, THE TOTAL DEPENDENCY ON OTHERS FOR THE SLIGHTEST THING IS DIFFICULT.
AND HERE THEY ARE NOW COUNTING ALL ENVELOPES, SO I HAVE TO FIND PEOPLE WHO WRITE FEW OR NO LETTERS.
A FAKE ENGAGEMENT RING SOUNDS CRUEL TO ME, GIVEN YOUR HOPES WHICH HE OBVIOUSLY IS AWARE OF--HE DOESN'T SOUND CRUEL, SO PERHAPS CHILDISH IS THE WORD.
YOU NEED TO DISCUSS IT OR SOUND OFF, JUST WRITE IT TO ME.
SAD.
PEACE,
IRA
I FEED BACK AS QUICKLY AS I CAN SO WROTE YOU ABOUT THE ADDRESSES - RECEIVED AND USED-AS SOON AS I GOT THEM.
TWICE YOUR POSTCARDS GOT PUT IN A WRONG PLACE (WHY I DON'T KNOW) BUT I GDID GET THEM THE SAME DAY AND ANSWERED THEM.
MICROX HAS DISAPPEARED (IT WAS 1968-70) SO NO SURPRISE AS IT RARELY COMES UP IN MY MEMORY AND IT WAS T IME OF MUCH ACTIVITY WHEN I WAS WEARING A VERY PUBLIC MEDIA HAT.
FOR FUN: SEE IF YOUC AN LOCATE THE SMOKE-IN I ORGANIZED AT INDEPENDENCE HALL AROUND THE SAME TIME. IT LED TO THE ARREST OF A TEMPLE UNIVERSITY TEACHER AND A STI-INB AROUND A POLICE CAR, SO MUCH OF LEAD TO SOME PUB.
WE DISTRIBUTED A POUND OF ROLLED UP GRASS---INVITATION WAS BY WORD OF MOUTH.
EVERYONE HERE HAS A VISCIOUS UPPER RESPIRATORY INFECTION.
4 TIMES SOUNDS AS IF IT NEVER WENT AWAY: i'M HAVING THAT PROBLEMMORE OFTEN--THINK I HAVE KO.ED SOMETHING AND BOOM: BACK.
NB: WIRTTEN FRIDAY BUT MAIL NOT PICKED UP UNTIL MONDAY.
I NOW HAVE A MIX OFM Y -- SINCE XMAS--BATTLE WITH MY EARS, THOUGH AT A LOWER LEVEL AND A VERSION OF WHAT YOU GOT.
THE EARS PRODUCE TINITUS WHICH IS HELL.
THE UPPER R. PRODUCES SWEAT: i MOVE, I SWEAT.
IF I'M IN A TOO HOT ROOM: LIBRARY LAST NIGHT AT 7--I FEEL AS IF I'M GOING TO FAINT AS THE HEAT SEEMS TO JACK UP THE EAR AND UPPER R. VIRIL.
IT'S A CONTINUAL STRUGGLE THAT WEAKENS, BUT FORCES EXTREME CONCENTRATION.
THE DOWN HERE IS EXTREME AMONG BOTH GUARDS AND PRISONERS: YOU COULD CUT IT WITH A KNIFE.
MY IBT SUDDENLY DISAPPEARED SO I AM WONDERFULLY NEWSLESS. A LAWYER FRIEND PROVIDES IT SO WHO KNOWS WHAT HAPPENED.
HAVING BEEN INDEPENDENT ALL MY LIFE, THE TOTAL DEPENDENCY ON OTHERS FOR THE SLIGHTEST THING IS DIFFICULT.
AND HERE THEY ARE NOW COUNTING ALL ENVELOPES, SO I HAVE TO FIND PEOPLE WHO WRITE FEW OR NO LETTERS.
A FAKE ENGAGEMENT RING SOUNDS CRUEL TO ME, GIVEN YOUR HOPES WHICH HE OBVIOUSLY IS AWARE OF--HE DOESN'T SOUND CRUEL, SO PERHAPS CHILDISH IS THE WORD.
YOU NEED TO DISCUSS IT OR SOUND OFF, JUST WRITE IT TO ME.
SAD.
PEACE,
IRA
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Letters from the Inside, Ira Einhorn, #15 & 16
[Ed.: This letter is in response to a recent New Yorker article about Scientology.]
Hi Kelly,
From 1968-1970I was involved in the midst of many other things, with a strange corporate venture.
MICROX
Put together by two young suburban Philly guys who were fixated on me. They were pyramiding corporations with the intention of going public and pouring all the money into an ultimate media corporation, that was acquiring optionms at a furious rate: Duen and Lord of the Rings among others.
The subsiduary companies had Betamax, Hewlett-Packer [Ed.: All mistakes are his] patents, Boron patents, etc. I held a banquiet for Frank Herbert in April 1970 where in the pitch was made.
I was the spiritual advisor to the operation. They were burning through tons of $. I was wined and dine beyond my desires.
The principles were all scientologists and as a result the highest releases were gathering round so I heard a lot about OT111 and the Ring of Fire. As we all--those days--were exploring inner space, meditating and eating acid.
The FCC got suspicious and after three years MICROX blew up.
But they all pushed me -- they would pay -- to do the training under a high official in the Church. They pushed and pushed, but I was too busy and just not that interested, as my analysis of the OT V1's I met did not impress me but have always kept an eye on them as they can be dangerous.
A couple of the guys were on the Sea.org which at the time involved actual ships at sea.
See if the net turns up anything on MICROX Corp.
Thank you,
Peace, Ira
***
Hi Kelly,
Bless you for the help. [Ed.: I don't usually offer commentary but it strikes me as funny that all the inmates I write to want God to bless me.] I'm in a black hole here, just as my mind is exploding with ideas and my ears are driving me crazy, but almost everything is out of reach
So
I send out messages in a bottle.
I want Kunkel--he's the editor--not N+1 as he had written two very intelligent articles about Marxism--rare for the young: clear and unpretentious.
So I want to communicate
ESQUIRE long ago did a cover piece called: American Woman: Dead at 21
so you could take hte roses [Amir gave you] as part of a funerary offering or better that Amir has fallen in love and is overcompensating for past neglect. May it last: Taurus and Scorpion is good (!) when it works. Hello to your man.
Player is not accurate--it is a word of today applied to an environment in which it doesn't fit, but yes: lots and lots of women "huge supply" is too economic. Lots of energy, leader charismatic and sexual revolution lead to lots of sex
But little pursuit: They were as curious as I was. 60s=Exploration/Curiousity
Care (ears) is here, but I'm not much for medicine and refused blood pressure treatment as the pills almost killed me. So, avoid them.
If I could get aspirin, I could handle it, but it disappeared as the guys abused it.
I'm treating myself with vitamins and allergy meds--slow and annoying.
I have a DOC friend (prisoner) who helps. I'm just not a pill taker and they charge us $5 per visit. That's three mealsso...I'd rather eat.
Ys, the Buckley letter was all that and more. 2nd worse BUT
I'm used to that and inbetween the stroking was lots of info. and an opportunity to help shape an hour of TV and he will provide me with my major food: BOOKS
So: worth exploring AS
my story is basically untold &
It is quite a story.
Thank you for the info.
[Ed.: He was sent a letter from a documentarian who would like to do an hour-long episode/film about Ira's life. He asked me to Google him to see what I could turn up on him. I found he is indeed a producer, but young and not very experienced.]
I now know he is genuine and a film maker. The rest is up to me and him.
Measuing the World by Daniel Kehlmann is a delight RE: von Humboldt and Gauss (one if not the greatestmath guy of all time)
Storyteller, way humor, etc.
Thanks again for the help
Hi Kelly,
From 1968-1970I was involved in the midst of many other things, with a strange corporate venture.
MICROX
Put together by two young suburban Philly guys who were fixated on me. They were pyramiding corporations with the intention of going public and pouring all the money into an ultimate media corporation, that was acquiring optionms at a furious rate: Duen and Lord of the Rings among others.
The subsiduary companies had Betamax, Hewlett-Packer [Ed.: All mistakes are his] patents, Boron patents, etc. I held a banquiet for Frank Herbert in April 1970 where in the pitch was made.
I was the spiritual advisor to the operation. They were burning through tons of $. I was wined and dine beyond my desires.
The principles were all scientologists and as a result the highest releases were gathering round so I heard a lot about OT111 and the Ring of Fire. As we all--those days--were exploring inner space, meditating and eating acid.
The FCC got suspicious and after three years MICROX blew up.
But they all pushed me -- they would pay -- to do the training under a high official in the Church. They pushed and pushed, but I was too busy and just not that interested, as my analysis of the OT V1's I met did not impress me but have always kept an eye on them as they can be dangerous.
A couple of the guys were on the Sea.org which at the time involved actual ships at sea.
See if the net turns up anything on MICROX Corp.
Thank you,
Peace, Ira
***
Hi Kelly,
Bless you for the help. [Ed.: I don't usually offer commentary but it strikes me as funny that all the inmates I write to want God to bless me.] I'm in a black hole here, just as my mind is exploding with ideas and my ears are driving me crazy, but almost everything is out of reach
So
I send out messages in a bottle.
I want Kunkel--he's the editor--not N+1 as he had written two very intelligent articles about Marxism--rare for the young: clear and unpretentious.
So I want to communicate
ESQUIRE long ago did a cover piece called: American Woman: Dead at 21
so you could take hte roses [Amir gave you] as part of a funerary offering or better that Amir has fallen in love and is overcompensating for past neglect. May it last: Taurus and Scorpion is good (!) when it works. Hello to your man.
Player is not accurate--it is a word of today applied to an environment in which it doesn't fit, but yes: lots and lots of women "huge supply" is too economic. Lots of energy, leader charismatic and sexual revolution lead to lots of sex
But little pursuit: They were as curious as I was. 60s=Exploration/Curiousity
Care (ears) is here, but I'm not much for medicine and refused blood pressure treatment as the pills almost killed me. So, avoid them.
If I could get aspirin, I could handle it, but it disappeared as the guys abused it.
I'm treating myself with vitamins and allergy meds--slow and annoying.
I have a DOC friend (prisoner) who helps. I'm just not a pill taker and they charge us $5 per visit. That's three mealsso...I'd rather eat.
Ys, the Buckley letter was all that and more. 2nd worse BUT
I'm used to that and inbetween the stroking was lots of info. and an opportunity to help shape an hour of TV and he will provide me with my major food: BOOKS
So: worth exploring AS
my story is basically untold &
It is quite a story.
Thank you for the info.
[Ed.: He was sent a letter from a documentarian who would like to do an hour-long episode/film about Ira's life. He asked me to Google him to see what I could turn up on him. I found he is indeed a producer, but young and not very experienced.]
I now know he is genuine and a film maker. The rest is up to me and him.
Measuing the World by Daniel Kehlmann is a delight RE: von Humboldt and Gauss (one if not the greatestmath guy of all time)
Storyteller, way humor, etc.
Thanks again for the help
Monday, February 21, 2011
Letters from the Inside, Sarah Pender, #57
Dear Kelly,
I'm looking at three envelopes from you and am trying to figure out what I have done wiht the last three weeks of my life.
Lots of stress.
Like, please fucking shoot me sort of stress.
But first, to your news.
I was surprised to hear of the attitudes and actions of airport personal and airline stewards. Once upon a time, airlines treated their passengers like cherished foreign dignitaries. What happened? And with such high unemployment rates across the country, don't you think that people would want to hang on to their jobs? If lay-offs are coming or cutbacks---and you ar ehte #1 complained about employee, you should bve a little worried. And with so much airline competition you'd think the airlines would be more cognizant of customer's needs. I guess when demand is super high quality gets bumped down the list of priorities.
I loved the play by play story about your trip to Mexico. i do not think I have ever---I am sure I have never heard anyone use the term "demento tears". Depsite the insanely neurotic start to the trip, I am quite pleased you ended up having a "magical and glorious time".
I am curious about whether Amir's conversations of love and future trips to the mountains and Mexico and your happiness will survive February 14th. Clearly, your relationship has evolved in that daily calls, texts, emails, multiple house sleepovers, poems and friend interactions are a huge leap from just Thanksgiving and even Christmas.
Plans for Valentine's Day and your "anniversary' are also HUGE. Really if you keep hanging in there, you will win by default. He chooses to spend all his time and energy on/with you so that naturally he doesn't have time or energy for others.
And really how many men write tragic love poems when they are plagued with Hershey squirts. Perhaps he used his time on the toilet quite wisely? Dman, that guy loves you.
Even if he doesn't "know what that means" he still feels it. And real love is a choice, isn't it? A choice to care and care for another without restrictions? You love him whether or not he dates other women. He loves you whether you make demands or public emotions. That's love.
I dig your new haircut. Very swank. Versatile. Easy. Breezy. Beautiful. Maybe you shoudl tell Amir that he must stay with you until your hair grows back out, since he talked you into it. He just signed a two-year lease.
The pouty lip picture with your careless wisps of hair and bug-eyed sunglasses is FABULOUS
You are fun.
A recap of the prior three weeks: Slowly and steadily, I have developed nervous habits that are exacerbated by general stressors. Nail cleaning, cuticle picking, skin biting, lip gnawing, scalp scratching, ear swabbing to name a few. Lately it was as if someone had punched a puree button and left me to cut, pick, and chew myself into a pulp. I began buy 6 and 7 bags of sunflower kernals per week to chrew on one by one with my front teeth like a neurotic squirrel in order to keep my choppers distracted from the rest of my body. It works to save most of my skin, but has also left another five pounds on my already spreading thighs and bulging belly.
A necessary evil.
Then came the gentle rocking while sitting and swaying while standing. Totally compulsory, and rather soothing. Then I found myself unable to think or talk well, and interrupted myself several times from digging tunnelts through my palms with my nails from tightly clenched fists. Over three or four days I became a totaly crosswire failture and broke down in a fury of tears, snot and grieving wails.
Apparently, I have some unexpressed emotions to deal with for a week, I examined myself permission to relax, read and be creative without expectation, without purpose. It felt good.
Then, for the last week, I've been playinhg catch up on legal work, mail and a short short story I wrote for the Zine Tenacious for a Mother's Day-themed issue.
In the midst of the psychological storm, my mother went in for major surgery, my father flew out for a visit from Seattle, and my sister had admitted (to herself, the rest of us already knew) she is an alcoholic and wants to mend broken relationships and stop being as self-centered. She attended three AA meetings and went back into seclusion.
The visit with my father was amazing. The Superintentdent granted us an extended visit so we were able to relax without watching the clock, really connect and enjoy our two way communication. Phone calls cut off at 20 minutes and I am limited to 2 phone calls per week. The 20-minute call costs $6.75.
I talked to my mother Saturday and she is at home healing but in major pain. Shethought the percocents weren't working so she stopped taking them and found a new level of pain. So now she is properly medicated and deposited into hr living room recliner, hating her life. She says that her roommate (ex-boyfriend) only does dishes when there are none left in the cabinets, so she's dreaming of the day she can stand and move on her own.
I dream of the day I can again stand at the sink with my mom and hear the clinking of silverware against coffee mugs.
Until then, its plastic sporks and tumblers of cold instant coffee.
Can't wait to hear about Valentine's Day!
Take care,
Sarah
I'm looking at three envelopes from you and am trying to figure out what I have done wiht the last three weeks of my life.
Lots of stress.
Like, please fucking shoot me sort of stress.
But first, to your news.
I was surprised to hear of the attitudes and actions of airport personal and airline stewards. Once upon a time, airlines treated their passengers like cherished foreign dignitaries. What happened? And with such high unemployment rates across the country, don't you think that people would want to hang on to their jobs? If lay-offs are coming or cutbacks---and you ar ehte #1 complained about employee, you should bve a little worried. And with so much airline competition you'd think the airlines would be more cognizant of customer's needs. I guess when demand is super high quality gets bumped down the list of priorities.
I loved the play by play story about your trip to Mexico. i do not think I have ever---I am sure I have never heard anyone use the term "demento tears". Depsite the insanely neurotic start to the trip, I am quite pleased you ended up having a "magical and glorious time".
I am curious about whether Amir's conversations of love and future trips to the mountains and Mexico and your happiness will survive February 14th. Clearly, your relationship has evolved in that daily calls, texts, emails, multiple house sleepovers, poems and friend interactions are a huge leap from just Thanksgiving and even Christmas.
Plans for Valentine's Day and your "anniversary' are also HUGE. Really if you keep hanging in there, you will win by default. He chooses to spend all his time and energy on/with you so that naturally he doesn't have time or energy for others.
And really how many men write tragic love poems when they are plagued with Hershey squirts. Perhaps he used his time on the toilet quite wisely? Dman, that guy loves you.
Even if he doesn't "know what that means" he still feels it. And real love is a choice, isn't it? A choice to care and care for another without restrictions? You love him whether or not he dates other women. He loves you whether you make demands or public emotions. That's love.
I dig your new haircut. Very swank. Versatile. Easy. Breezy. Beautiful. Maybe you shoudl tell Amir that he must stay with you until your hair grows back out, since he talked you into it. He just signed a two-year lease.
The pouty lip picture with your careless wisps of hair and bug-eyed sunglasses is FABULOUS
You are fun.
A recap of the prior three weeks: Slowly and steadily, I have developed nervous habits that are exacerbated by general stressors. Nail cleaning, cuticle picking, skin biting, lip gnawing, scalp scratching, ear swabbing to name a few. Lately it was as if someone had punched a puree button and left me to cut, pick, and chew myself into a pulp. I began buy 6 and 7 bags of sunflower kernals per week to chrew on one by one with my front teeth like a neurotic squirrel in order to keep my choppers distracted from the rest of my body. It works to save most of my skin, but has also left another five pounds on my already spreading thighs and bulging belly.
A necessary evil.
Then came the gentle rocking while sitting and swaying while standing. Totally compulsory, and rather soothing. Then I found myself unable to think or talk well, and interrupted myself several times from digging tunnelts through my palms with my nails from tightly clenched fists. Over three or four days I became a totaly crosswire failture and broke down in a fury of tears, snot and grieving wails.
Apparently, I have some unexpressed emotions to deal with for a week, I examined myself permission to relax, read and be creative without expectation, without purpose. It felt good.
Then, for the last week, I've been playinhg catch up on legal work, mail and a short short story I wrote for the Zine Tenacious for a Mother's Day-themed issue.
In the midst of the psychological storm, my mother went in for major surgery, my father flew out for a visit from Seattle, and my sister had admitted (to herself, the rest of us already knew) she is an alcoholic and wants to mend broken relationships and stop being as self-centered. She attended three AA meetings and went back into seclusion.
The visit with my father was amazing. The Superintentdent granted us an extended visit so we were able to relax without watching the clock, really connect and enjoy our two way communication. Phone calls cut off at 20 minutes and I am limited to 2 phone calls per week. The 20-minute call costs $6.75.
I talked to my mother Saturday and she is at home healing but in major pain. Shethought the percocents weren't working so she stopped taking them and found a new level of pain. So now she is properly medicated and deposited into hr living room recliner, hating her life. She says that her roommate (ex-boyfriend) only does dishes when there are none left in the cabinets, so she's dreaming of the day she can stand and move on her own.
I dream of the day I can again stand at the sink with my mom and hear the clinking of silverware against coffee mugs.
Until then, its plastic sporks and tumblers of cold instant coffee.
Can't wait to hear about Valentine's Day!
Take care,
Sarah
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Letters from the Inside, Ira Einhorn, #12-14
Hi Kelly,
You are obviously better.
Thank you for hte post card: It is much appreciated.
The blog about hte girl who can't read is a sly comment on the fact that men, mostly can't abide women who are very intelligent or more intelligent than they are.
I crave them.
I always had a lo tof women friends---I tried to avoid sex as it can ruin a friendship but often it didn't work.
"You sleep with all those other women."
"Guilty as charged."
"Don't you find me attractive?"
and so on. Sleep with A,B,C, D.
and E is freaked, if you remain buddies.
5 women immediately float into my mind that I had such conversations with. All attractive. One the most popular girl in our area. She just insisted. I liked her younger sister who didn't have 1/2 the personality but had a mysterious aura about her and legs that went up to her neck.
2 of the women including hte older sister were older than I.
Of the 5, 4 were one off.
The 5th was a wealthy crazy whose younger sister went ape when she heard J. had moved in with me.
Happened again when a Texas congressman's daughter persued me after a lecture and would not take "no" for an answer.
Her younger sis whent ape also.
I pain no attention to such behavior.
I cross all social lines without thinking twice.
The New Yorker is numero uno. I subscribed, here, for years then ran out of money.
Best edited mag. around and they give a writer space.
Thank you.
After 6 weeks battle with ear clog I'm a bit exhausted.
I'm also up to my ears in too many writing projects: so difficult without a computer. If you can send me the address of N+1 Mag...
Peace,
Ira
***
HI Kelly,
Anything you can scare up on Edmond Buckley would be appreciated. The story was very sad. The institution is in bad shape. Very wearing psychologically. I'm rereading Mann (Thomas) 400 pages into The Magic Mountain: It makes me aware of why I tend to avoid popular stuff. Hope you two are ok.
Ira.
Dear Ira,
I hope this letter finds youyou well, I am writing to introduce myself and to tell you about a proposed television documentary b ased on your life story that I would like to travel to interview you for.
I am a British producer working for Bearkatt Productions (a small independent production company) based in Londonb and have read extensively about your stoyr and feel that it would make for an absolutely fascinating and insightful factual documentary with your own words at the heart of it. It is clear to me that your story is by no means as straightforward as some press reports would describe and I believe it would benefit from being viewed in a completely fresh light.
As a former university professor, author and passionate political activist, it is quite clear you are a man of considerable intellect and I have no doubts that you would be able to express yourself in a highly coherent and articulate manner which would sit perfectly with the objective and considered way I would like to approach your story with.
To this end I am extremely interested to hear your own story Ira and believe that it should be at the core of any film made on the subject. It is my aim to make an objective, balanced film that covers the facts of your story, in an unsensationalistic manner rathr than the media hysteria which can accompany stories about you. It is not just hte issue of the crive you have been convicted of (that I am aware you see as a miscarriage of justice) that would be focused on, but also your fascinating background as founder of Earth Day and your work regarding the environment in the 60s and 70s.
I am quite certain this is not the first such request you've had and undoubtedly it will not be the last however, perhaps now that a few years have passed, you may feel this represents the right opportunity for you to speak about events that I do not believe has yet been faiely respresented in an oftentimes one sided media.
This would not bea quick inster into a news programme but rather a thoughtful, and intelligent in depth interview to your own words. I appreciate you may have reservations and be hesitant to do any interviews which is why I would arrange a meeting before hand in which we can discuss any concerns you may have.
If you would be interested in participating in an interview with me and indeed if you have any questions on the above then please write back to me at the address below.
Your sincerely,
Edmond Buckley,
producer.
[Ed.: All errors in the producer's letter to Ira are Edmond's.]
***
Hi Kelly,
Feedback is the name of the game. I no longer get the New Yorker.
Enclosed should interest you. [Ed.: Article about schizophrenia, but I never told him my mother is schizophrenic so that is odd.]
I need snail mail address for:
1. Paul Auster as he is VP of American Pen. I need their help on my case.
2. Charles Simic: A poet who is writing about the USA in way svery similar to what I have been doing for years.
Thank you for the New Yorker piece and your own.
My ears still bother me -- very tiring as it has been so long.
Working hard on lots of things
Hope you enjoyed your Valentine's Treat.
Hello to your Scorpio. May he continue to treat you well.
Peace, Ira
You are obviously better.
Thank you for hte post card: It is much appreciated.
The blog about hte girl who can't read is a sly comment on the fact that men, mostly can't abide women who are very intelligent or more intelligent than they are.
I crave them.
I always had a lo tof women friends---I tried to avoid sex as it can ruin a friendship but often it didn't work.
"You sleep with all those other women."
"Guilty as charged."
"Don't you find me attractive?"
and so on. Sleep with A,B,C, D.
and E is freaked, if you remain buddies.
5 women immediately float into my mind that I had such conversations with. All attractive. One the most popular girl in our area. She just insisted. I liked her younger sister who didn't have 1/2 the personality but had a mysterious aura about her and legs that went up to her neck.
2 of the women including hte older sister were older than I.
Of the 5, 4 were one off.
The 5th was a wealthy crazy whose younger sister went ape when she heard J. had moved in with me.
Happened again when a Texas congressman's daughter persued me after a lecture and would not take "no" for an answer.
Her younger sis whent ape also.
I pain no attention to such behavior.
I cross all social lines without thinking twice.
The New Yorker is numero uno. I subscribed, here, for years then ran out of money.
Best edited mag. around and they give a writer space.
Thank you.
After 6 weeks battle with ear clog I'm a bit exhausted.
I'm also up to my ears in too many writing projects: so difficult without a computer. If you can send me the address of N+1 Mag...
Peace,
Ira
***
HI Kelly,
Anything you can scare up on Edmond Buckley would be appreciated. The story was very sad. The institution is in bad shape. Very wearing psychologically. I'm rereading Mann (Thomas) 400 pages into The Magic Mountain: It makes me aware of why I tend to avoid popular stuff. Hope you two are ok.
Ira.
Dear Ira,
I hope this letter finds youyou well, I am writing to introduce myself and to tell you about a proposed television documentary b ased on your life story that I would like to travel to interview you for.
I am a British producer working for Bearkatt Productions (a small independent production company) based in Londonb and have read extensively about your stoyr and feel that it would make for an absolutely fascinating and insightful factual documentary with your own words at the heart of it. It is clear to me that your story is by no means as straightforward as some press reports would describe and I believe it would benefit from being viewed in a completely fresh light.
As a former university professor, author and passionate political activist, it is quite clear you are a man of considerable intellect and I have no doubts that you would be able to express yourself in a highly coherent and articulate manner which would sit perfectly with the objective and considered way I would like to approach your story with.
To this end I am extremely interested to hear your own story Ira and believe that it should be at the core of any film made on the subject. It is my aim to make an objective, balanced film that covers the facts of your story, in an unsensationalistic manner rathr than the media hysteria which can accompany stories about you. It is not just hte issue of the crive you have been convicted of (that I am aware you see as a miscarriage of justice) that would be focused on, but also your fascinating background as founder of Earth Day and your work regarding the environment in the 60s and 70s.
I am quite certain this is not the first such request you've had and undoubtedly it will not be the last however, perhaps now that a few years have passed, you may feel this represents the right opportunity for you to speak about events that I do not believe has yet been faiely respresented in an oftentimes one sided media.
This would not bea quick inster into a news programme but rather a thoughtful, and intelligent in depth interview to your own words. I appreciate you may have reservations and be hesitant to do any interviews which is why I would arrange a meeting before hand in which we can discuss any concerns you may have.
If you would be interested in participating in an interview with me and indeed if you have any questions on the above then please write back to me at the address below.
Your sincerely,
Edmond Buckley,
producer.
[Ed.: All errors in the producer's letter to Ira are Edmond's.]
***
Hi Kelly,
Feedback is the name of the game. I no longer get the New Yorker.
Enclosed should interest you. [Ed.: Article about schizophrenia, but I never told him my mother is schizophrenic so that is odd.]
I need snail mail address for:
1. Paul Auster as he is VP of American Pen. I need their help on my case.
2. Charles Simic: A poet who is writing about the USA in way svery similar to what I have been doing for years.
Thank you for the New Yorker piece and your own.
My ears still bother me -- very tiring as it has been so long.
Working hard on lots of things
Hope you enjoyed your Valentine's Treat.
Hello to your Scorpio. May he continue to treat you well.
Peace, Ira
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Letters from the Inside, Michael Swango, #111
Dear Kelly---
Please excuse my brevity and somewhat rushed writing today [you know I prefer longer letters]- but just received your first two post "Amirexico" letters and watned to get something off to you before the weekend. A longer and more detailed letter to follow to be sure. So just a few observations for now.
>It would not be a Kelly travelogue without a particularly horrible airline story. Your "S&M" trip on Continental did not disappoint.
By the way, I have been hearing variations on the awfulness of airline travel for years now--from virtually everyone I know who flies. It constantly amazes me what people will put up with. These usurious fees for everything from bags to blankets would be the last straw for moi. And for perspective on the ealrier ages of airline travel, must tell you about my United Airlines flight attendant.
>But of course, for you two highly combustible personalities, one who decorates in black/white and red, dark can turn to bright light on a dime...
"Within minutes we told each other we loved each other and the rest of the trip was magical and glorious...." Awwww!
>And of course, still another relationship D-Day...this time Valentine's Day..REALLY? C'mon, KK, you know you don't really mean it. People who love each other don't set arbitrary dates, let alone abide by them...you know that!
[LikeI said and you still don't believe, I know a lot more about this than you realize and/or give me credit for. And once again, intimacy and sexuality are at the heart of it. I know that you know this but won't admit it (at least to me). That's cool.
>Loved the photo of you with your arms around Amir's neck. Does he realize that you two really do make a most attractive couple? Or does he think any couple with him in it is a good one?
Ok-just a few quick comments on your far too short reply to my earlier letter (!). Since you had just returned from Mexico, you get a pass!:
>I finally saw the CL movie. I agree it was a standard Lifetime film. By now, they have the genre down to a science. In fact, "Lifetime Movie" is a genre. Oh yes, I know his story. God knows it was the only thing on morning TV for about a week. The question you and I discussed was whether his bizarre and attn-seeking suicide was indicative of sociopathy or not.
>Comforting to know that Suave survives. Surprising that Suave would and Flex would not.
Two huge sotires dominating the news this week: The unrest/near resolution in Egypt and still another huge winter storm sweeping east to west. Btw, not that anyone cares -- there is a tremendous east coast/NYC bias when it comes to storms.
But this part of Colorado had the coldest temps in many years. It was below zero night and day for over 48 hours with lows of -18 to -22.
More to follow.
Your friend,
Michael
Please excuse my brevity and somewhat rushed writing today [you know I prefer longer letters]- but just received your first two post "Amirexico" letters and watned to get something off to you before the weekend. A longer and more detailed letter to follow to be sure. So just a few observations for now.
>It would not be a Kelly travelogue without a particularly horrible airline story. Your "S&M" trip on Continental did not disappoint.
By the way, I have been hearing variations on the awfulness of airline travel for years now--from virtually everyone I know who flies. It constantly amazes me what people will put up with. These usurious fees for everything from bags to blankets would be the last straw for moi. And for perspective on the ealrier ages of airline travel, must tell you about my United Airlines flight attendant.
>But of course, for you two highly combustible personalities, one who decorates in black/white and red, dark can turn to bright light on a dime...
"Within minutes we told each other we loved each other and the rest of the trip was magical and glorious...." Awwww!
>And of course, still another relationship D-Day...this time Valentine's Day..REALLY? C'mon, KK, you know you don't really mean it. People who love each other don't set arbitrary dates, let alone abide by them...you know that!
[LikeI said and you still don't believe, I know a lot more about this than you realize and/or give me credit for. And once again, intimacy and sexuality are at the heart of it. I know that you know this but won't admit it (at least to me). That's cool.
>Loved the photo of you with your arms around Amir's neck. Does he realize that you two really do make a most attractive couple? Or does he think any couple with him in it is a good one?
Ok-just a few quick comments on your far too short reply to my earlier letter (!). Since you had just returned from Mexico, you get a pass!:
>I finally saw the CL movie. I agree it was a standard Lifetime film. By now, they have the genre down to a science. In fact, "Lifetime Movie" is a genre. Oh yes, I know his story. God knows it was the only thing on morning TV for about a week. The question you and I discussed was whether his bizarre and attn-seeking suicide was indicative of sociopathy or not.
>Comforting to know that Suave survives. Surprising that Suave would and Flex would not.
Two huge sotires dominating the news this week: The unrest/near resolution in Egypt and still another huge winter storm sweeping east to west. Btw, not that anyone cares -- there is a tremendous east coast/NYC bias when it comes to storms.
But this part of Colorado had the coldest temps in many years. It was below zero night and day for over 48 hours with lows of -18 to -22.
More to follow.
Your friend,
Michael
