HI KELLY,
I FEED BACK AS QUICKLY AS I CAN SO WROTE YOU ABOUT THE ADDRESSES - RECEIVED AND USED-AS SOON AS I GOT THEM.
TWICE YOUR POSTCARDS GOT PUT IN A WRONG PLACE (WHY I DON'T KNOW) BUT I GDID GET THEM THE SAME DAY AND ANSWERED THEM.
MICROX HAS DISAPPEARED (IT WAS 1968-70) SO NO SURPRISE AS IT RARELY COMES UP IN MY MEMORY AND IT WAS T IME OF MUCH ACTIVITY WHEN I WAS WEARING A VERY PUBLIC MEDIA HAT.
FOR FUN: SEE IF YOUC AN LOCATE THE SMOKE-IN I ORGANIZED AT INDEPENDENCE HALL AROUND THE SAME TIME. IT LED TO THE ARREST OF A TEMPLE UNIVERSITY TEACHER AND A STI-INB AROUND A POLICE CAR, SO MUCH OF LEAD TO SOME PUB.
WE DISTRIBUTED A POUND OF ROLLED UP GRASS---INVITATION WAS BY WORD OF MOUTH.
EVERYONE HERE HAS A VISCIOUS UPPER RESPIRATORY INFECTION.
4 TIMES SOUNDS AS IF IT NEVER WENT AWAY: i'M HAVING THAT PROBLEMMORE OFTEN--THINK I HAVE KO.ED SOMETHING AND BOOM: BACK.
NB: WIRTTEN FRIDAY BUT MAIL NOT PICKED UP UNTIL MONDAY.
I NOW HAVE A MIX OFM Y -- SINCE XMAS--BATTLE WITH MY EARS, THOUGH AT A LOWER LEVEL AND A VERSION OF WHAT YOU GOT.
THE EARS PRODUCE TINITUS WHICH IS HELL.
THE UPPER R. PRODUCES SWEAT: i MOVE, I SWEAT.
IF I'M IN A TOO HOT ROOM: LIBRARY LAST NIGHT AT 7--I FEEL AS IF I'M GOING TO FAINT AS THE HEAT SEEMS TO JACK UP THE EAR AND UPPER R. VIRIL.
IT'S A CONTINUAL STRUGGLE THAT WEAKENS, BUT FORCES EXTREME CONCENTRATION.
THE DOWN HERE IS EXTREME AMONG BOTH GUARDS AND PRISONERS: YOU COULD CUT IT WITH A KNIFE.
MY IBT SUDDENLY DISAPPEARED SO I AM WONDERFULLY NEWSLESS. A LAWYER FRIEND PROVIDES IT SO WHO KNOWS WHAT HAPPENED.
HAVING BEEN INDEPENDENT ALL MY LIFE, THE TOTAL DEPENDENCY ON OTHERS FOR THE SLIGHTEST THING IS DIFFICULT.
AND HERE THEY ARE NOW COUNTING ALL ENVELOPES, SO I HAVE TO FIND PEOPLE WHO WRITE FEW OR NO LETTERS.
A FAKE ENGAGEMENT RING SOUNDS CRUEL TO ME, GIVEN YOUR HOPES WHICH HE OBVIOUSLY IS AWARE OF--HE DOESN'T SOUND CRUEL, SO PERHAPS CHILDISH IS THE WORD.
YOU NEED TO DISCUSS IT OR SOUND OFF, JUST WRITE IT TO ME.
SAD.
PEACE,
IRA
Friday, March 11, 2011
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Letters from the Inside, Ira Einhorn, #15 & 16
[Ed.: This letter is in response to a recent New Yorker article about Scientology.]
Hi Kelly,
From 1968-1970I was involved in the midst of many other things, with a strange corporate venture.
MICROX
Put together by two young suburban Philly guys who were fixated on me. They were pyramiding corporations with the intention of going public and pouring all the money into an ultimate media corporation, that was acquiring optionms at a furious rate: Duen and Lord of the Rings among others.
The subsiduary companies had Betamax, Hewlett-Packer [Ed.: All mistakes are his] patents, Boron patents, etc. I held a banquiet for Frank Herbert in April 1970 where in the pitch was made.
I was the spiritual advisor to the operation. They were burning through tons of $. I was wined and dine beyond my desires.
The principles were all scientologists and as a result the highest releases were gathering round so I heard a lot about OT111 and the Ring of Fire. As we all--those days--were exploring inner space, meditating and eating acid.
The FCC got suspicious and after three years MICROX blew up.
But they all pushed me -- they would pay -- to do the training under a high official in the Church. They pushed and pushed, but I was too busy and just not that interested, as my analysis of the OT V1's I met did not impress me but have always kept an eye on them as they can be dangerous.
A couple of the guys were on the Sea.org which at the time involved actual ships at sea.
See if the net turns up anything on MICROX Corp.
Thank you,
Peace, Ira
***
Hi Kelly,
Bless you for the help. [Ed.: I don't usually offer commentary but it strikes me as funny that all the inmates I write to want God to bless me.] I'm in a black hole here, just as my mind is exploding with ideas and my ears are driving me crazy, but almost everything is out of reach
So
I send out messages in a bottle.
I want Kunkel--he's the editor--not N+1 as he had written two very intelligent articles about Marxism--rare for the young: clear and unpretentious.
So I want to communicate
ESQUIRE long ago did a cover piece called: American Woman: Dead at 21
so you could take hte roses [Amir gave you] as part of a funerary offering or better that Amir has fallen in love and is overcompensating for past neglect. May it last: Taurus and Scorpion is good (!) when it works. Hello to your man.
Player is not accurate--it is a word of today applied to an environment in which it doesn't fit, but yes: lots and lots of women "huge supply" is too economic. Lots of energy, leader charismatic and sexual revolution lead to lots of sex
But little pursuit: They were as curious as I was. 60s=Exploration/Curiousity
Care (ears) is here, but I'm not much for medicine and refused blood pressure treatment as the pills almost killed me. So, avoid them.
If I could get aspirin, I could handle it, but it disappeared as the guys abused it.
I'm treating myself with vitamins and allergy meds--slow and annoying.
I have a DOC friend (prisoner) who helps. I'm just not a pill taker and they charge us $5 per visit. That's three mealsso...I'd rather eat.
Ys, the Buckley letter was all that and more. 2nd worse BUT
I'm used to that and inbetween the stroking was lots of info. and an opportunity to help shape an hour of TV and he will provide me with my major food: BOOKS
So: worth exploring AS
my story is basically untold &
It is quite a story.
Thank you for the info.
[Ed.: He was sent a letter from a documentarian who would like to do an hour-long episode/film about Ira's life. He asked me to Google him to see what I could turn up on him. I found he is indeed a producer, but young and not very experienced.]
I now know he is genuine and a film maker. The rest is up to me and him.
Measuing the World by Daniel Kehlmann is a delight RE: von Humboldt and Gauss (one if not the greatestmath guy of all time)
Storyteller, way humor, etc.
Thanks again for the help
Hi Kelly,
From 1968-1970I was involved in the midst of many other things, with a strange corporate venture.
MICROX
Put together by two young suburban Philly guys who were fixated on me. They were pyramiding corporations with the intention of going public and pouring all the money into an ultimate media corporation, that was acquiring optionms at a furious rate: Duen and Lord of the Rings among others.
The subsiduary companies had Betamax, Hewlett-Packer [Ed.: All mistakes are his] patents, Boron patents, etc. I held a banquiet for Frank Herbert in April 1970 where in the pitch was made.
I was the spiritual advisor to the operation. They were burning through tons of $. I was wined and dine beyond my desires.
The principles were all scientologists and as a result the highest releases were gathering round so I heard a lot about OT111 and the Ring of Fire. As we all--those days--were exploring inner space, meditating and eating acid.
The FCC got suspicious and after three years MICROX blew up.
But they all pushed me -- they would pay -- to do the training under a high official in the Church. They pushed and pushed, but I was too busy and just not that interested, as my analysis of the OT V1's I met did not impress me but have always kept an eye on them as they can be dangerous.
A couple of the guys were on the Sea.org which at the time involved actual ships at sea.
See if the net turns up anything on MICROX Corp.
Thank you,
Peace, Ira
***
Hi Kelly,
Bless you for the help. [Ed.: I don't usually offer commentary but it strikes me as funny that all the inmates I write to want God to bless me.] I'm in a black hole here, just as my mind is exploding with ideas and my ears are driving me crazy, but almost everything is out of reach
So
I send out messages in a bottle.
I want Kunkel--he's the editor--not N+1 as he had written two very intelligent articles about Marxism--rare for the young: clear and unpretentious.
So I want to communicate
ESQUIRE long ago did a cover piece called: American Woman: Dead at 21
so you could take hte roses [Amir gave you] as part of a funerary offering or better that Amir has fallen in love and is overcompensating for past neglect. May it last: Taurus and Scorpion is good (!) when it works. Hello to your man.
Player is not accurate--it is a word of today applied to an environment in which it doesn't fit, but yes: lots and lots of women "huge supply" is too economic. Lots of energy, leader charismatic and sexual revolution lead to lots of sex
But little pursuit: They were as curious as I was. 60s=Exploration/Curiousity
Care (ears) is here, but I'm not much for medicine and refused blood pressure treatment as the pills almost killed me. So, avoid them.
If I could get aspirin, I could handle it, but it disappeared as the guys abused it.
I'm treating myself with vitamins and allergy meds--slow and annoying.
I have a DOC friend (prisoner) who helps. I'm just not a pill taker and they charge us $5 per visit. That's three mealsso...I'd rather eat.
Ys, the Buckley letter was all that and more. 2nd worse BUT
I'm used to that and inbetween the stroking was lots of info. and an opportunity to help shape an hour of TV and he will provide me with my major food: BOOKS
So: worth exploring AS
my story is basically untold &
It is quite a story.
Thank you for the info.
[Ed.: He was sent a letter from a documentarian who would like to do an hour-long episode/film about Ira's life. He asked me to Google him to see what I could turn up on him. I found he is indeed a producer, but young and not very experienced.]
I now know he is genuine and a film maker. The rest is up to me and him.
Measuing the World by Daniel Kehlmann is a delight RE: von Humboldt and Gauss (one if not the greatestmath guy of all time)
Storyteller, way humor, etc.
Thanks again for the help
Monday, February 21, 2011
Letters from the Inside, Sarah Pender, #57
Dear Kelly,
I'm looking at three envelopes from you and am trying to figure out what I have done wiht the last three weeks of my life.
Lots of stress.
Like, please fucking shoot me sort of stress.
But first, to your news.
I was surprised to hear of the attitudes and actions of airport personal and airline stewards. Once upon a time, airlines treated their passengers like cherished foreign dignitaries. What happened? And with such high unemployment rates across the country, don't you think that people would want to hang on to their jobs? If lay-offs are coming or cutbacks---and you ar ehte #1 complained about employee, you should bve a little worried. And with so much airline competition you'd think the airlines would be more cognizant of customer's needs. I guess when demand is super high quality gets bumped down the list of priorities.
I loved the play by play story about your trip to Mexico. i do not think I have ever---I am sure I have never heard anyone use the term "demento tears". Depsite the insanely neurotic start to the trip, I am quite pleased you ended up having a "magical and glorious time".
I am curious about whether Amir's conversations of love and future trips to the mountains and Mexico and your happiness will survive February 14th. Clearly, your relationship has evolved in that daily calls, texts, emails, multiple house sleepovers, poems and friend interactions are a huge leap from just Thanksgiving and even Christmas.
Plans for Valentine's Day and your "anniversary' are also HUGE. Really if you keep hanging in there, you will win by default. He chooses to spend all his time and energy on/with you so that naturally he doesn't have time or energy for others.
And really how many men write tragic love poems when they are plagued with Hershey squirts. Perhaps he used his time on the toilet quite wisely? Dman, that guy loves you.
Even if he doesn't "know what that means" he still feels it. And real love is a choice, isn't it? A choice to care and care for another without restrictions? You love him whether or not he dates other women. He loves you whether you make demands or public emotions. That's love.
I dig your new haircut. Very swank. Versatile. Easy. Breezy. Beautiful. Maybe you shoudl tell Amir that he must stay with you until your hair grows back out, since he talked you into it. He just signed a two-year lease.
The pouty lip picture with your careless wisps of hair and bug-eyed sunglasses is FABULOUS
You are fun.
A recap of the prior three weeks: Slowly and steadily, I have developed nervous habits that are exacerbated by general stressors. Nail cleaning, cuticle picking, skin biting, lip gnawing, scalp scratching, ear swabbing to name a few. Lately it was as if someone had punched a puree button and left me to cut, pick, and chew myself into a pulp. I began buy 6 and 7 bags of sunflower kernals per week to chrew on one by one with my front teeth like a neurotic squirrel in order to keep my choppers distracted from the rest of my body. It works to save most of my skin, but has also left another five pounds on my already spreading thighs and bulging belly.
A necessary evil.
Then came the gentle rocking while sitting and swaying while standing. Totally compulsory, and rather soothing. Then I found myself unable to think or talk well, and interrupted myself several times from digging tunnelts through my palms with my nails from tightly clenched fists. Over three or four days I became a totaly crosswire failture and broke down in a fury of tears, snot and grieving wails.
Apparently, I have some unexpressed emotions to deal with for a week, I examined myself permission to relax, read and be creative without expectation, without purpose. It felt good.
Then, for the last week, I've been playinhg catch up on legal work, mail and a short short story I wrote for the Zine Tenacious for a Mother's Day-themed issue.
In the midst of the psychological storm, my mother went in for major surgery, my father flew out for a visit from Seattle, and my sister had admitted (to herself, the rest of us already knew) she is an alcoholic and wants to mend broken relationships and stop being as self-centered. She attended three AA meetings and went back into seclusion.
The visit with my father was amazing. The Superintentdent granted us an extended visit so we were able to relax without watching the clock, really connect and enjoy our two way communication. Phone calls cut off at 20 minutes and I am limited to 2 phone calls per week. The 20-minute call costs $6.75.
I talked to my mother Saturday and she is at home healing but in major pain. Shethought the percocents weren't working so she stopped taking them and found a new level of pain. So now she is properly medicated and deposited into hr living room recliner, hating her life. She says that her roommate (ex-boyfriend) only does dishes when there are none left in the cabinets, so she's dreaming of the day she can stand and move on her own.
I dream of the day I can again stand at the sink with my mom and hear the clinking of silverware against coffee mugs.
Until then, its plastic sporks and tumblers of cold instant coffee.
Can't wait to hear about Valentine's Day!
Take care,
Sarah
I'm looking at three envelopes from you and am trying to figure out what I have done wiht the last three weeks of my life.
Lots of stress.
Like, please fucking shoot me sort of stress.
But first, to your news.
I was surprised to hear of the attitudes and actions of airport personal and airline stewards. Once upon a time, airlines treated their passengers like cherished foreign dignitaries. What happened? And with such high unemployment rates across the country, don't you think that people would want to hang on to their jobs? If lay-offs are coming or cutbacks---and you ar ehte #1 complained about employee, you should bve a little worried. And with so much airline competition you'd think the airlines would be more cognizant of customer's needs. I guess when demand is super high quality gets bumped down the list of priorities.
I loved the play by play story about your trip to Mexico. i do not think I have ever---I am sure I have never heard anyone use the term "demento tears". Depsite the insanely neurotic start to the trip, I am quite pleased you ended up having a "magical and glorious time".
I am curious about whether Amir's conversations of love and future trips to the mountains and Mexico and your happiness will survive February 14th. Clearly, your relationship has evolved in that daily calls, texts, emails, multiple house sleepovers, poems and friend interactions are a huge leap from just Thanksgiving and even Christmas.
Plans for Valentine's Day and your "anniversary' are also HUGE. Really if you keep hanging in there, you will win by default. He chooses to spend all his time and energy on/with you so that naturally he doesn't have time or energy for others.
And really how many men write tragic love poems when they are plagued with Hershey squirts. Perhaps he used his time on the toilet quite wisely? Dman, that guy loves you.
Even if he doesn't "know what that means" he still feels it. And real love is a choice, isn't it? A choice to care and care for another without restrictions? You love him whether or not he dates other women. He loves you whether you make demands or public emotions. That's love.
I dig your new haircut. Very swank. Versatile. Easy. Breezy. Beautiful. Maybe you shoudl tell Amir that he must stay with you until your hair grows back out, since he talked you into it. He just signed a two-year lease.
The pouty lip picture with your careless wisps of hair and bug-eyed sunglasses is FABULOUS
You are fun.
A recap of the prior three weeks: Slowly and steadily, I have developed nervous habits that are exacerbated by general stressors. Nail cleaning, cuticle picking, skin biting, lip gnawing, scalp scratching, ear swabbing to name a few. Lately it was as if someone had punched a puree button and left me to cut, pick, and chew myself into a pulp. I began buy 6 and 7 bags of sunflower kernals per week to chrew on one by one with my front teeth like a neurotic squirrel in order to keep my choppers distracted from the rest of my body. It works to save most of my skin, but has also left another five pounds on my already spreading thighs and bulging belly.
A necessary evil.
Then came the gentle rocking while sitting and swaying while standing. Totally compulsory, and rather soothing. Then I found myself unable to think or talk well, and interrupted myself several times from digging tunnelts through my palms with my nails from tightly clenched fists. Over three or four days I became a totaly crosswire failture and broke down in a fury of tears, snot and grieving wails.
Apparently, I have some unexpressed emotions to deal with for a week, I examined myself permission to relax, read and be creative without expectation, without purpose. It felt good.
Then, for the last week, I've been playinhg catch up on legal work, mail and a short short story I wrote for the Zine Tenacious for a Mother's Day-themed issue.
In the midst of the psychological storm, my mother went in for major surgery, my father flew out for a visit from Seattle, and my sister had admitted (to herself, the rest of us already knew) she is an alcoholic and wants to mend broken relationships and stop being as self-centered. She attended three AA meetings and went back into seclusion.
The visit with my father was amazing. The Superintentdent granted us an extended visit so we were able to relax without watching the clock, really connect and enjoy our two way communication. Phone calls cut off at 20 minutes and I am limited to 2 phone calls per week. The 20-minute call costs $6.75.
I talked to my mother Saturday and she is at home healing but in major pain. Shethought the percocents weren't working so she stopped taking them and found a new level of pain. So now she is properly medicated and deposited into hr living room recliner, hating her life. She says that her roommate (ex-boyfriend) only does dishes when there are none left in the cabinets, so she's dreaming of the day she can stand and move on her own.
I dream of the day I can again stand at the sink with my mom and hear the clinking of silverware against coffee mugs.
Until then, its plastic sporks and tumblers of cold instant coffee.
Can't wait to hear about Valentine's Day!
Take care,
Sarah
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Letters from the Inside, Ira Einhorn, #12-14
Hi Kelly,
You are obviously better.
Thank you for hte post card: It is much appreciated.
The blog about hte girl who can't read is a sly comment on the fact that men, mostly can't abide women who are very intelligent or more intelligent than they are.
I crave them.
I always had a lo tof women friends---I tried to avoid sex as it can ruin a friendship but often it didn't work.
"You sleep with all those other women."
"Guilty as charged."
"Don't you find me attractive?"
and so on. Sleep with A,B,C, D.
and E is freaked, if you remain buddies.
5 women immediately float into my mind that I had such conversations with. All attractive. One the most popular girl in our area. She just insisted. I liked her younger sister who didn't have 1/2 the personality but had a mysterious aura about her and legs that went up to her neck.
2 of the women including hte older sister were older than I.
Of the 5, 4 were one off.
The 5th was a wealthy crazy whose younger sister went ape when she heard J. had moved in with me.
Happened again when a Texas congressman's daughter persued me after a lecture and would not take "no" for an answer.
Her younger sis whent ape also.
I pain no attention to such behavior.
I cross all social lines without thinking twice.
The New Yorker is numero uno. I subscribed, here, for years then ran out of money.
Best edited mag. around and they give a writer space.
Thank you.
After 6 weeks battle with ear clog I'm a bit exhausted.
I'm also up to my ears in too many writing projects: so difficult without a computer. If you can send me the address of N+1 Mag...
Peace,
Ira
***
HI Kelly,
Anything you can scare up on Edmond Buckley would be appreciated. The story was very sad. The institution is in bad shape. Very wearing psychologically. I'm rereading Mann (Thomas) 400 pages into The Magic Mountain: It makes me aware of why I tend to avoid popular stuff. Hope you two are ok.
Ira.
Dear Ira,
I hope this letter finds youyou well, I am writing to introduce myself and to tell you about a proposed television documentary b ased on your life story that I would like to travel to interview you for.
I am a British producer working for Bearkatt Productions (a small independent production company) based in Londonb and have read extensively about your stoyr and feel that it would make for an absolutely fascinating and insightful factual documentary with your own words at the heart of it. It is clear to me that your story is by no means as straightforward as some press reports would describe and I believe it would benefit from being viewed in a completely fresh light.
As a former university professor, author and passionate political activist, it is quite clear you are a man of considerable intellect and I have no doubts that you would be able to express yourself in a highly coherent and articulate manner which would sit perfectly with the objective and considered way I would like to approach your story with.
To this end I am extremely interested to hear your own story Ira and believe that it should be at the core of any film made on the subject. It is my aim to make an objective, balanced film that covers the facts of your story, in an unsensationalistic manner rathr than the media hysteria which can accompany stories about you. It is not just hte issue of the crive you have been convicted of (that I am aware you see as a miscarriage of justice) that would be focused on, but also your fascinating background as founder of Earth Day and your work regarding the environment in the 60s and 70s.
I am quite certain this is not the first such request you've had and undoubtedly it will not be the last however, perhaps now that a few years have passed, you may feel this represents the right opportunity for you to speak about events that I do not believe has yet been faiely respresented in an oftentimes one sided media.
This would not bea quick inster into a news programme but rather a thoughtful, and intelligent in depth interview to your own words. I appreciate you may have reservations and be hesitant to do any interviews which is why I would arrange a meeting before hand in which we can discuss any concerns you may have.
If you would be interested in participating in an interview with me and indeed if you have any questions on the above then please write back to me at the address below.
Your sincerely,
Edmond Buckley,
producer.
[Ed.: All errors in the producer's letter to Ira are Edmond's.]
***
Hi Kelly,
Feedback is the name of the game. I no longer get the New Yorker.
Enclosed should interest you. [Ed.: Article about schizophrenia, but I never told him my mother is schizophrenic so that is odd.]
I need snail mail address for:
1. Paul Auster as he is VP of American Pen. I need their help on my case.
2. Charles Simic: A poet who is writing about the USA in way svery similar to what I have been doing for years.
Thank you for the New Yorker piece and your own.
My ears still bother me -- very tiring as it has been so long.
Working hard on lots of things
Hope you enjoyed your Valentine's Treat.
Hello to your Scorpio. May he continue to treat you well.
Peace, Ira
You are obviously better.
Thank you for hte post card: It is much appreciated.
The blog about hte girl who can't read is a sly comment on the fact that men, mostly can't abide women who are very intelligent or more intelligent than they are.
I crave them.
I always had a lo tof women friends---I tried to avoid sex as it can ruin a friendship but often it didn't work.
"You sleep with all those other women."
"Guilty as charged."
"Don't you find me attractive?"
and so on. Sleep with A,B,C, D.
and E is freaked, if you remain buddies.
5 women immediately float into my mind that I had such conversations with. All attractive. One the most popular girl in our area. She just insisted. I liked her younger sister who didn't have 1/2 the personality but had a mysterious aura about her and legs that went up to her neck.
2 of the women including hte older sister were older than I.
Of the 5, 4 were one off.
The 5th was a wealthy crazy whose younger sister went ape when she heard J. had moved in with me.
Happened again when a Texas congressman's daughter persued me after a lecture and would not take "no" for an answer.
Her younger sis whent ape also.
I pain no attention to such behavior.
I cross all social lines without thinking twice.
The New Yorker is numero uno. I subscribed, here, for years then ran out of money.
Best edited mag. around and they give a writer space.
Thank you.
After 6 weeks battle with ear clog I'm a bit exhausted.
I'm also up to my ears in too many writing projects: so difficult without a computer. If you can send me the address of N+1 Mag...
Peace,
Ira
***
HI Kelly,
Anything you can scare up on Edmond Buckley would be appreciated. The story was very sad. The institution is in bad shape. Very wearing psychologically. I'm rereading Mann (Thomas) 400 pages into The Magic Mountain: It makes me aware of why I tend to avoid popular stuff. Hope you two are ok.
Ira.
Dear Ira,
I hope this letter finds youyou well, I am writing to introduce myself and to tell you about a proposed television documentary b ased on your life story that I would like to travel to interview you for.
I am a British producer working for Bearkatt Productions (a small independent production company) based in Londonb and have read extensively about your stoyr and feel that it would make for an absolutely fascinating and insightful factual documentary with your own words at the heart of it. It is clear to me that your story is by no means as straightforward as some press reports would describe and I believe it would benefit from being viewed in a completely fresh light.
As a former university professor, author and passionate political activist, it is quite clear you are a man of considerable intellect and I have no doubts that you would be able to express yourself in a highly coherent and articulate manner which would sit perfectly with the objective and considered way I would like to approach your story with.
To this end I am extremely interested to hear your own story Ira and believe that it should be at the core of any film made on the subject. It is my aim to make an objective, balanced film that covers the facts of your story, in an unsensationalistic manner rathr than the media hysteria which can accompany stories about you. It is not just hte issue of the crive you have been convicted of (that I am aware you see as a miscarriage of justice) that would be focused on, but also your fascinating background as founder of Earth Day and your work regarding the environment in the 60s and 70s.
I am quite certain this is not the first such request you've had and undoubtedly it will not be the last however, perhaps now that a few years have passed, you may feel this represents the right opportunity for you to speak about events that I do not believe has yet been faiely respresented in an oftentimes one sided media.
This would not bea quick inster into a news programme but rather a thoughtful, and intelligent in depth interview to your own words. I appreciate you may have reservations and be hesitant to do any interviews which is why I would arrange a meeting before hand in which we can discuss any concerns you may have.
If you would be interested in participating in an interview with me and indeed if you have any questions on the above then please write back to me at the address below.
Your sincerely,
Edmond Buckley,
producer.
[Ed.: All errors in the producer's letter to Ira are Edmond's.]
***
Hi Kelly,
Feedback is the name of the game. I no longer get the New Yorker.
Enclosed should interest you. [Ed.: Article about schizophrenia, but I never told him my mother is schizophrenic so that is odd.]
I need snail mail address for:
1. Paul Auster as he is VP of American Pen. I need their help on my case.
2. Charles Simic: A poet who is writing about the USA in way svery similar to what I have been doing for years.
Thank you for the New Yorker piece and your own.
My ears still bother me -- very tiring as it has been so long.
Working hard on lots of things
Hope you enjoyed your Valentine's Treat.
Hello to your Scorpio. May he continue to treat you well.
Peace, Ira
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Letters from the Inside, Michael Swango, #111
Dear Kelly---
Please excuse my brevity and somewhat rushed writing today [you know I prefer longer letters]- but just received your first two post "Amirexico" letters and watned to get something off to you before the weekend. A longer and more detailed letter to follow to be sure. So just a few observations for now.
>It would not be a Kelly travelogue without a particularly horrible airline story. Your "S&M" trip on Continental did not disappoint.
By the way, I have been hearing variations on the awfulness of airline travel for years now--from virtually everyone I know who flies. It constantly amazes me what people will put up with. These usurious fees for everything from bags to blankets would be the last straw for moi. And for perspective on the ealrier ages of airline travel, must tell you about my United Airlines flight attendant.
>But of course, for you two highly combustible personalities, one who decorates in black/white and red, dark can turn to bright light on a dime...
"Within minutes we told each other we loved each other and the rest of the trip was magical and glorious...." Awwww!
>And of course, still another relationship D-Day...this time Valentine's Day..REALLY? C'mon, KK, you know you don't really mean it. People who love each other don't set arbitrary dates, let alone abide by them...you know that!
[LikeI said and you still don't believe, I know a lot more about this than you realize and/or give me credit for. And once again, intimacy and sexuality are at the heart of it. I know that you know this but won't admit it (at least to me). That's cool.
>Loved the photo of you with your arms around Amir's neck. Does he realize that you two really do make a most attractive couple? Or does he think any couple with him in it is a good one?
Ok-just a few quick comments on your far too short reply to my earlier letter (!). Since you had just returned from Mexico, you get a pass!:
>I finally saw the CL movie. I agree it was a standard Lifetime film. By now, they have the genre down to a science. In fact, "Lifetime Movie" is a genre. Oh yes, I know his story. God knows it was the only thing on morning TV for about a week. The question you and I discussed was whether his bizarre and attn-seeking suicide was indicative of sociopathy or not.
>Comforting to know that Suave survives. Surprising that Suave would and Flex would not.
Two huge sotires dominating the news this week: The unrest/near resolution in Egypt and still another huge winter storm sweeping east to west. Btw, not that anyone cares -- there is a tremendous east coast/NYC bias when it comes to storms.
But this part of Colorado had the coldest temps in many years. It was below zero night and day for over 48 hours with lows of -18 to -22.
More to follow.
Your friend,
Michael
Please excuse my brevity and somewhat rushed writing today [you know I prefer longer letters]- but just received your first two post "Amirexico" letters and watned to get something off to you before the weekend. A longer and more detailed letter to follow to be sure. So just a few observations for now.
>It would not be a Kelly travelogue without a particularly horrible airline story. Your "S&M" trip on Continental did not disappoint.
By the way, I have been hearing variations on the awfulness of airline travel for years now--from virtually everyone I know who flies. It constantly amazes me what people will put up with. These usurious fees for everything from bags to blankets would be the last straw for moi. And for perspective on the ealrier ages of airline travel, must tell you about my United Airlines flight attendant.
>But of course, for you two highly combustible personalities, one who decorates in black/white and red, dark can turn to bright light on a dime...
"Within minutes we told each other we loved each other and the rest of the trip was magical and glorious...." Awwww!
>And of course, still another relationship D-Day...this time Valentine's Day..REALLY? C'mon, KK, you know you don't really mean it. People who love each other don't set arbitrary dates, let alone abide by them...you know that!
[LikeI said and you still don't believe, I know a lot more about this than you realize and/or give me credit for. And once again, intimacy and sexuality are at the heart of it. I know that you know this but won't admit it (at least to me). That's cool.
>Loved the photo of you with your arms around Amir's neck. Does he realize that you two really do make a most attractive couple? Or does he think any couple with him in it is a good one?
Ok-just a few quick comments on your far too short reply to my earlier letter (!). Since you had just returned from Mexico, you get a pass!:
>I finally saw the CL movie. I agree it was a standard Lifetime film. By now, they have the genre down to a science. In fact, "Lifetime Movie" is a genre. Oh yes, I know his story. God knows it was the only thing on morning TV for about a week. The question you and I discussed was whether his bizarre and attn-seeking suicide was indicative of sociopathy or not.
>Comforting to know that Suave survives. Surprising that Suave would and Flex would not.
Two huge sotires dominating the news this week: The unrest/near resolution in Egypt and still another huge winter storm sweeping east to west. Btw, not that anyone cares -- there is a tremendous east coast/NYC bias when it comes to storms.
But this part of Colorado had the coldest temps in many years. It was below zero night and day for over 48 hours with lows of -18 to -22.
More to follow.
Your friend,
Michael
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Letters from the Inside, Ira Einhorn, #9-11
Ed.: I am bored with this guy. He is the most pompous, boring, meglomaniac I've ever read. And on top of that he is just plan odd.
#9
Kelly,
Each day is basically the same.
Preparation for the seamless future wherein the robotic transformation of skin and blood into one gigantic maw of consumption will have been completed.
This is just on the ticker: The Chinese now own the mortgage on the White House--the Obamas have been given 30 days to find a way to pay off the 2.1 trillion dollar debt or move.
The campaign, in honor of multitasking, to run Oprah's left tit for President is underway.
Most Americans have given their blood to the economy: that has not proven enough so starting money for skin (for lamp shades) and bone (tallow for candles) will be collected. Your requirement will be on your TV, Twitter and FB pages.
No shirking---You are sheep--continue the good work.
It's time for an uprising--the tree of liberty requires fresh blood.
Do I repeat myself?
Sharp this edge of desire
often rudely serviced
with mouth's flacid warmth
or errant gripping
and loosing
until flow arrives.
Small moments
in the life
Whose pleasure is shaped
by the love that leads
those to such ends
that bring delight
Therein lies the rub
whose persistence
constantly calls upon
new love to perform.
Good metaphore (Ed.: his mispelling)
Drowining from the inside out and of course it makes senseto avoid the bigger mess when you are in the midst of your own chaos. But without so grasp of the bigger picture you may not be able to deal with your own.
Thank you for the reassurance that the possessive case is used, still, before the gerund.
Even most educated people make a mistake in such usage.
and ambiguity is a part of any large system (the chattering students).
I'm in six movies everyday, so little inclination to watch a screen.
I'm an information house and there is so little information outside of books as I have demonstrated again and again: re: TV specials.
But I love good movies and saw dountless movies in my younger daysand then in the 70s had a close friend who taught film history--he always had 2 or 3 to show me.
Do you really want to hear about threesomes? (Sex play buddies?)
One? As I'm writing about it: How conscious are you of your varying sexual desire as the month turns?
Hot around peaking.
Relatively indiffferent the rest of the month. Most women report this.
Males' are on all the time though affected situationally (context) by love, stimulation, etc.
It is the main conflict between a male with a large sex drive and the average women.
We are basically monkeys with a highly developed neo-cortex.
Deep into ID: signature in the cell
by Stephen C. Meyer is m y book of the decade.
Hope you and your lover work out.
Peace, Ira
***
#10
Hi Kelly,
Thanks for the info. I'm buried in writing and a complex multi-dimensional poem.
MY SHOPPING LIST
BUTTER
EGGS
BACON
MILK
GLOCK 19
STEAK
TOMATO SAUCE
AMMUNITION
POTATOES
PASTA
Ira Einhorn
***
#11
If THE INNER FIRE
THE NEED TO BURN
SUDDENLY CAMEALIGHT
I COULD BE A BURNING BUSH
A BEACON IN THE NIGHT
A SIGN ALONG THE ROAD
FOR THOSE SO CONFUSED
THAT THEIR REACHING IS ARMLESS
PERHAPSTHESE WORD I HONOR
DO NOT CONVEY
FOR THE TIME OF TALKING
HAS LONG PAST
AND ONLY THE EXPLOSIVE DISINTEGRATION
OF BEING IS APT:
BIT AND PIECES OF THE BODY
SMOLDERING IN THE DISUSE IN THE ROAD.
--Ira Einhorn
USA: JANUARY 2001
ALL TOGETHER NOW: WE ARE GOING TO LOOK INWARD FOR A NANOSECOND, THEN BACK TO PORNO, DRUGS, MURDER
THIS IS JUST OFF THE WIRE: AFTER EXTENSIVE TESTING POLITICIANS HAVE CONCLUDED THAT A PERSON WITH A LOADED GUN STANDING IN FRONT OF OTHERS AND SHOOTING IS NOT CONCLUSIVE PROOF THAT SHOOTING PEOPLE CAUSES THEM HARM.
CITING DAVID HUME ON INDUCTION, THE 1,000 PAGE REPORT COULD FIND NO CAUSAL LINK BETWEEN SHOOTING PEOPLE AND HARM.
BREATHING A COLLECTIVE SIGH OF RELIEF AMERICANS RETURNED TO THEIR PRIMARY TASK: CONSUMPTION
WITH A TRADE OF SCHADENFREUDE FOR THE 17% UNEMPLOYED UNABLE TO JOIN THEM IN THEIR ARDUOUS TASK.
--Ira Einhorn
Hi Kelly,
Thank you for another pic. of Ms. Redwiss: I'm very partial to reds.
I'm just trying to contain my energy which is exploding in too many directions.
Focusing on a mutl-dimensional poem on the cell caled the death of neo-darwinism that will probably take longer than I can imagine, but Stephen Meyer's Signature in the Cell has got me in a way few books ever have.
I'm ont an atheist but it is obvious when you look at the research:
The cell wuz designed kick and scream though the scientists are doing Paradigm Change.
As with the end o the West as Megemonic which becomes clearer daily. Wrote over 200 pages in 20 days and hardly noticed.
Free wheeling in a collapshing environs.
Be well,
Ira
[Ed.: What do you think of all of this?]
#9
Kelly,
Each day is basically the same.
Preparation for the seamless future wherein the robotic transformation of skin and blood into one gigantic maw of consumption will have been completed.
This is just on the ticker: The Chinese now own the mortgage on the White House--the Obamas have been given 30 days to find a way to pay off the 2.1 trillion dollar debt or move.
The campaign, in honor of multitasking, to run Oprah's left tit for President is underway.
Most Americans have given their blood to the economy: that has not proven enough so starting money for skin (for lamp shades) and bone (tallow for candles) will be collected. Your requirement will be on your TV, Twitter and FB pages.
No shirking---You are sheep--continue the good work.
It's time for an uprising--the tree of liberty requires fresh blood.
Do I repeat myself?
Sharp this edge of desire
often rudely serviced
with mouth's flacid warmth
or errant gripping
and loosing
until flow arrives.
Small moments
in the life
Whose pleasure is shaped
by the love that leads
those to such ends
that bring delight
Therein lies the rub
whose persistence
constantly calls upon
new love to perform.
Good metaphore (Ed.: his mispelling)
Drowining from the inside out and of course it makes senseto avoid the bigger mess when you are in the midst of your own chaos. But without so grasp of the bigger picture you may not be able to deal with your own.
Thank you for the reassurance that the possessive case is used, still, before the gerund.
Even most educated people make a mistake in such usage.
and ambiguity is a part of any large system (the chattering students).
I'm in six movies everyday, so little inclination to watch a screen.
I'm an information house and there is so little information outside of books as I have demonstrated again and again: re: TV specials.
But I love good movies and saw dountless movies in my younger daysand then in the 70s had a close friend who taught film history--he always had 2 or 3 to show me.
Do you really want to hear about threesomes? (Sex play buddies?)
One? As I'm writing about it: How conscious are you of your varying sexual desire as the month turns?
Hot around peaking.
Relatively indiffferent the rest of the month. Most women report this.
Males' are on all the time though affected situationally (context) by love, stimulation, etc.
It is the main conflict between a male with a large sex drive and the average women.
We are basically monkeys with a highly developed neo-cortex.
Deep into ID: signature in the cell
by Stephen C. Meyer is m y book of the decade.
Hope you and your lover work out.
Peace, Ira
***
#10
Hi Kelly,
Thanks for the info. I'm buried in writing and a complex multi-dimensional poem.
MY SHOPPING LIST
BUTTER
EGGS
BACON
MILK
GLOCK 19
STEAK
TOMATO SAUCE
AMMUNITION
POTATOES
PASTA
Ira Einhorn
***
#11
If THE INNER FIRE
THE NEED TO BURN
SUDDENLY CAMEALIGHT
I COULD BE A BURNING BUSH
A BEACON IN THE NIGHT
A SIGN ALONG THE ROAD
FOR THOSE SO CONFUSED
THAT THEIR REACHING IS ARMLESS
PERHAPSTHESE WORD I HONOR
DO NOT CONVEY
FOR THE TIME OF TALKING
HAS LONG PAST
AND ONLY THE EXPLOSIVE DISINTEGRATION
OF BEING IS APT:
BIT AND PIECES OF THE BODY
SMOLDERING IN THE DISUSE IN THE ROAD.
--Ira Einhorn
USA: JANUARY 2001
ALL TOGETHER NOW: WE ARE GOING TO LOOK INWARD FOR A NANOSECOND, THEN BACK TO PORNO, DRUGS, MURDER
THIS IS JUST OFF THE WIRE: AFTER EXTENSIVE TESTING POLITICIANS HAVE CONCLUDED THAT A PERSON WITH A LOADED GUN STANDING IN FRONT OF OTHERS AND SHOOTING IS NOT CONCLUSIVE PROOF THAT SHOOTING PEOPLE CAUSES THEM HARM.
CITING DAVID HUME ON INDUCTION, THE 1,000 PAGE REPORT COULD FIND NO CAUSAL LINK BETWEEN SHOOTING PEOPLE AND HARM.
BREATHING A COLLECTIVE SIGH OF RELIEF AMERICANS RETURNED TO THEIR PRIMARY TASK: CONSUMPTION
WITH A TRADE OF SCHADENFREUDE FOR THE 17% UNEMPLOYED UNABLE TO JOIN THEM IN THEIR ARDUOUS TASK.
--Ira Einhorn
Hi Kelly,
Thank you for another pic. of Ms. Redwiss: I'm very partial to reds.
I'm just trying to contain my energy which is exploding in too many directions.
Focusing on a mutl-dimensional poem on the cell caled the death of neo-darwinism that will probably take longer than I can imagine, but Stephen Meyer's Signature in the Cell has got me in a way few books ever have.
I'm ont an atheist but it is obvious when you look at the research:
The cell wuz designed kick and scream though the scientists are doing Paradigm Change.
As with the end o the West as Megemonic which becomes clearer daily. Wrote over 200 pages in 20 days and hardly noticed.
Free wheeling in a collapshing environs.
Be well,
Ira
[Ed.: What do you think of all of this?]
Letters from the Inside, Michael Swango, #110
Dear Kelly---
You and I once discussed the critical but rarely mentioned factor in storytelling and suicide prevention: WHAT HAPPENS NEXT? The key to any author's success is: Can they keep the reader interested in what will happen next?
As I write this, your Mexican weekend with Amir has happened but I don't yet know how it went. Do I want to know what happened next? ABSOLUTELY! I've already told you that both characters in the KK-Amir love story are fascinating and multi-layered. It is a story that you have already written down in detail, bit by bit, piece by piece. My God, Kelly, the tiny portion of the story that you have told me via your blogs and letters is easily a short story, or a chapter or two in a novel.
And believe me, you don't need a definitive ending for the story to be told in detail. I've already told you that I think you and Amir have more happy and sad and exhilarating and terrifying moments and episodes ahead of you. That is the nature of a love story.
OK--Just received your most recent letter. Again, written before your weekend w/Amir. Brilliant shocking pink paper! Will delvei not the always scintillating details next time, but let me thank you for the words to that amazing poem by Yeats:: SAILING TO BYZANTIUM
Believe me, I am not a poetry guy [not that there's anything wrong with it!] Besides Sailing to Byzantium, I can't tell you about another poem by Yeats or almost any other classical potet that were studied and memorized by generations of British, European and American scholars.
Of modern living poets--I have only read in detail Maxine Kumin (there's a whole story behind that). And of couse, anyone exposed to e.e. cummings can't help but be interested and recall bits and pieces...
---buffalo bill's defunct
---how do you like your blue-eyed boy, mr. death?
However when they are good, they are very good and can stab at the heart like almost nothing else.
I took a moment/and three came to mind:
>To An Athlete Dying Young
>Stop All the Clocks...
>And a poem I first heard in high school for God's sake, and never forgot: RICHARD CORY
If, somehow, this escaped your education, go online and read it NOW. But I suspect you are familiar.
And thank you for SEND IN THE CLOWNS.
Now to some of the things you mentioned in your previous letters:
Wow Kelly when you get sick, it really hits you hard doesn't it? Fever, flu, chest, throat, congested, sore, laryngitis, green good from your eye...
At this point I was thinking Andromeda Strain, and wondering if the letter would end with: The remainder of the decedent's letter is classifed by the CDC.
But , you survivied...mute, blind in one yee, enrtou tot being a "feverish Helen Keller"---antibiotics hurrah!
Again, I know m uch of this is ancient pre-New Year's Eve but you really can't compare him to John/and if you truly believed Amir ws a sociopath, I know you would not be going to Mexico with him. Again, ancient talk, I know. I await your post-Mexico Amir analysis/discussion.
I hardly know where to begin regarding this twisted tale of John in your novel about his history with HIV/AIDS. May I recommend the book, AND THE BAND PLAYED ON by Randy Shilts, who sadly died of AIDS before the advent of retrovirals in the mid-90s.
First of all---a perhaps stupid questoin/but as Dr. Lecter tell us in Silence of the Lambs: To begin, to know you must return to the first principles. So here goes:
Has anyone ever seen John have blood drawn for an HIV test and followed that blood to the lab with no interaction with John and seen a positive test?
You see my point, I am sure. It would not AT ALL be beyond the will or scope of a sociopath to fake a positive HIV test/even in a decades long hoax that gets out of hand.
But assuming the premis is true, his purported history of said disease puts him in an extremely small, almost infinitessimal percentage of extremely fortunate people living with HIV.
Trust me, sociopaths love to feel special and unique.
John is either lying or misremembering when he says tha the contacted HIV in 1985 before it was called HIV. Survey says: WRONG!
The illness that would be known as HIV/AIDS was first recognized in the US in June 1981. One of its original acronyms was GRID: Gay-related Immuno-Deficiency but by 1983 HIV was identified and named. Lab results actually showed cases of AIDS in the 70s.
There were no long letter/number combos.
His virtually unique status as an asymptomatic HIV "carrier" is even more remarkable given the fact tha the claims to have been infected during sex with a man. I assume unprotected anal sex with John as the reciever. This produced particularly deadly infections in those early days. You know how m any gay men died of AIDS in the 80s and 90s.
Again--there are cases of documented HIV infection with no symptoms, no illness, no progressoin and no medication ever needed. These people are intensely studied for obvious reasons. And they are very, very rare.
Occam's Razor tells us to search for the simplest explanation: Only two apply here:
1) The rarest of medical caes (he never took AZT especially when it was the only drug available in the 80s for HIV?
or
2) Uninfected.
Now the girlfriend situation is also most remarkable. In the novel, we learn that John had a girlfriend for six years. A woman who he was sleeping and traveling with.
Once again---and here we must be medical and specific--how many times did the girlfriend have sex with him--unprotected...hundreds?
Remarkable that she remains uninfected.
Your comment towards the end of that novel chapter says it best "IT IS ALL VERY INCONGRUOUS AND ODD."
I don't have enough evidence to know definitively either way---but there is clearly more to know...perhaps, some of the info that "cannot be discussed" yet will give us the answer.
So perhaps that can be addressed in future chapters....
Sorry to have m ade so much of this letter about such an unpleasant topic but putting aside the evil of what he did to the novel's protagonist and some of the other women--the story as a story is utterly fascinating. It touches on so many subjects---love/obsession/deception/disease...Kelly if you begin to tell your story, EVERYONE will want to know WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?
Thats TWO amazing stories to be told.
***
Because I've gone on for so long I can only briefly touch on another subject I want to get into much more deeply and will in next letters:
Your questions regarding the firm the Young Prisoner's Handbook are--as always--to the point. Will answer what I can. Definitely a subject for a short story.
And I love your strength and willingness to stand up for what you think and want. I love, love, love that in a woman. Many men do not, as I'm SURE you know.
You see, conflict and disagreement, sometimes intense, are absolutely part of two people getting to know each other/learning what each other think.
So you do want to see that [hours and hours of a] snuff film of my life. Fair enough, I can assure you, nothing about it would be boring.
And regarding "POINT TWO" I can admit when I've been wrong and have made assumptions with limited knowledge...Point taken, and point accepted.
And your last lines of that paragraph are brilliantly true: It is the things sex makes us do that are endlessly fascinating (obsession) or beautiful (love) or horrendous (murders of giflriends or wives) .
So again, I perhaps spoke too soon. My apologies. See, I'm not so awful!!!
And of course will continue to discuss sex when it seems appropriate or just mention it to tweak your sensibilities. (Maybe I am awful...)
Anyway, bottom line. This letter is only a start. So much to discuss. More to follow. And news on teh weekend to be sure. .
Take care of yourself, Kelly. Stay warm---lots of winter still to come. Thinking of you.
Your friend,
Michael.
You and I once discussed the critical but rarely mentioned factor in storytelling and suicide prevention: WHAT HAPPENS NEXT? The key to any author's success is: Can they keep the reader interested in what will happen next?
As I write this, your Mexican weekend with Amir has happened but I don't yet know how it went. Do I want to know what happened next? ABSOLUTELY! I've already told you that both characters in the KK-Amir love story are fascinating and multi-layered. It is a story that you have already written down in detail, bit by bit, piece by piece. My God, Kelly, the tiny portion of the story that you have told me via your blogs and letters is easily a short story, or a chapter or two in a novel.
And believe me, you don't need a definitive ending for the story to be told in detail. I've already told you that I think you and Amir have more happy and sad and exhilarating and terrifying moments and episodes ahead of you. That is the nature of a love story.
OK--Just received your most recent letter. Again, written before your weekend w/Amir. Brilliant shocking pink paper! Will delvei not the always scintillating details next time, but let me thank you for the words to that amazing poem by Yeats:: SAILING TO BYZANTIUM
Believe me, I am not a poetry guy [not that there's anything wrong with it!] Besides Sailing to Byzantium, I can't tell you about another poem by Yeats or almost any other classical potet that were studied and memorized by generations of British, European and American scholars.
Of modern living poets--I have only read in detail Maxine Kumin (there's a whole story behind that). And of couse, anyone exposed to e.e. cummings can't help but be interested and recall bits and pieces...
---buffalo bill's defunct
---how do you like your blue-eyed boy, mr. death?
However when they are good, they are very good and can stab at the heart like almost nothing else.
I took a moment/and three came to mind:
>To An Athlete Dying Young
>Stop All the Clocks...
>And a poem I first heard in high school for God's sake, and never forgot: RICHARD CORY
If, somehow, this escaped your education, go online and read it NOW. But I suspect you are familiar.
And thank you for SEND IN THE CLOWNS.
Now to some of the things you mentioned in your previous letters:
Wow Kelly when you get sick, it really hits you hard doesn't it? Fever, flu, chest, throat, congested, sore, laryngitis, green good from your eye...
At this point I was thinking Andromeda Strain, and wondering if the letter would end with: The remainder of the decedent's letter is classifed by the CDC.
But , you survivied...mute, blind in one yee, enrtou tot being a "feverish Helen Keller"---antibiotics hurrah!
Again, I know m uch of this is ancient pre-New Year's Eve but you really can't compare him to John/and if you truly believed Amir ws a sociopath, I know you would not be going to Mexico with him. Again, ancient talk, I know. I await your post-Mexico Amir analysis/discussion.
I hardly know where to begin regarding this twisted tale of John in your novel about his history with HIV/AIDS. May I recommend the book, AND THE BAND PLAYED ON by Randy Shilts, who sadly died of AIDS before the advent of retrovirals in the mid-90s.
First of all---a perhaps stupid questoin/but as Dr. Lecter tell us in Silence of the Lambs: To begin, to know you must return to the first principles. So here goes:
Has anyone ever seen John have blood drawn for an HIV test and followed that blood to the lab with no interaction with John and seen a positive test?
You see my point, I am sure. It would not AT ALL be beyond the will or scope of a sociopath to fake a positive HIV test/even in a decades long hoax that gets out of hand.
But assuming the premis is true, his purported history of said disease puts him in an extremely small, almost infinitessimal percentage of extremely fortunate people living with HIV.
Trust me, sociopaths love to feel special and unique.
John is either lying or misremembering when he says tha the contacted HIV in 1985 before it was called HIV. Survey says: WRONG!
The illness that would be known as HIV/AIDS was first recognized in the US in June 1981. One of its original acronyms was GRID: Gay-related Immuno-Deficiency but by 1983 HIV was identified and named. Lab results actually showed cases of AIDS in the 70s.
There were no long letter/number combos.
His virtually unique status as an asymptomatic HIV "carrier" is even more remarkable given the fact tha the claims to have been infected during sex with a man. I assume unprotected anal sex with John as the reciever. This produced particularly deadly infections in those early days. You know how m any gay men died of AIDS in the 80s and 90s.
Again--there are cases of documented HIV infection with no symptoms, no illness, no progressoin and no medication ever needed. These people are intensely studied for obvious reasons. And they are very, very rare.
Occam's Razor tells us to search for the simplest explanation: Only two apply here:
1) The rarest of medical caes (he never took AZT especially when it was the only drug available in the 80s for HIV?
or
2) Uninfected.
Now the girlfriend situation is also most remarkable. In the novel, we learn that John had a girlfriend for six years. A woman who he was sleeping and traveling with.
Once again---and here we must be medical and specific--how many times did the girlfriend have sex with him--unprotected...hundreds?
Remarkable that she remains uninfected.
Your comment towards the end of that novel chapter says it best "IT IS ALL VERY INCONGRUOUS AND ODD."
I don't have enough evidence to know definitively either way---but there is clearly more to know...perhaps, some of the info that "cannot be discussed" yet will give us the answer.
So perhaps that can be addressed in future chapters....
Sorry to have m ade so much of this letter about such an unpleasant topic but putting aside the evil of what he did to the novel's protagonist and some of the other women--the story as a story is utterly fascinating. It touches on so many subjects---love/obsession/deception/disease...Kelly if you begin to tell your story, EVERYONE will want to know WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?
Thats TWO amazing stories to be told.
***
Because I've gone on for so long I can only briefly touch on another subject I want to get into much more deeply and will in next letters:
Your questions regarding the firm the Young Prisoner's Handbook are--as always--to the point. Will answer what I can. Definitely a subject for a short story.
And I love your strength and willingness to stand up for what you think and want. I love, love, love that in a woman. Many men do not, as I'm SURE you know.
You see, conflict and disagreement, sometimes intense, are absolutely part of two people getting to know each other/learning what each other think.
So you do want to see that [hours and hours of a] snuff film of my life. Fair enough, I can assure you, nothing about it would be boring.
And regarding "POINT TWO" I can admit when I've been wrong and have made assumptions with limited knowledge...Point taken, and point accepted.
And your last lines of that paragraph are brilliantly true: It is the things sex makes us do that are endlessly fascinating (obsession) or beautiful (love) or horrendous (murders of giflriends or wives) .
So again, I perhaps spoke too soon. My apologies. See, I'm not so awful!!!
And of course will continue to discuss sex when it seems appropriate or just mention it to tweak your sensibilities. (Maybe I am awful...)
Anyway, bottom line. This letter is only a start. So much to discuss. More to follow. And news on teh weekend to be sure. .
Take care of yourself, Kelly. Stay warm---lots of winter still to come. Thinking of you.
Your friend,
Michael.
