Sunday, December 13, 2009
Letters from the Inside, Sarah Pender, #22
Kelly,
I received your letter. I'm looking forward to seeing if punk musician guy stays on the scene, and how long it will take you to ditch NoteGuy. It's fun being posted on your life, since mine, at the moment, sucks. To answer your questions:
I am still stuck in isolation here, even more so than where we were before. I can't talk to anyone, now, only see a few of them through small glass door windows. I have made good use of my limited knowledge of sign language. It's cold as hell in here. They say it is 67, but it feels like 62, which is a fine temperature on a sunny day with no breeze, with a sweater, while walking in the park. Not so good for sitting in a sunless room on a concrete slab.
We had to move the whole prison because the population of women inmates is growing due to ridiculously long sentences, a 67% recidivism rate for short-term sentences, and very little opportunity for rehabilitation. The state is broke, and can't afford to build more prisons, so we swapped. The juveniles had a capacity for 800, but only a couple hundred girls. They moved to a vacant wing of minimum security women's prison, we moved here and men are moving into Randolph St. Operations are still not up and going, but they are working on it. It's a mess. Rules change with each shift. No answers from people. Much confusion. And it's COLD. I'm really struggling to keep my sanity intact. I am sick of being locked in a room.
did you read my article based on the New Yorker article and my experience here?
Loved the description of the thrift store lighter. You are fun.
Thank you for helping my mother. She appreciates the help, and so do I. Unfortunately she didn't raise me much. Lots of reason why, but in the end, I needed her nurturing more than I needed the higher education my father provided. Such is life. And at least I've got good parents. We can all find fault in our parents, but I know how it could have been, and I count myself lucky.
I considered some more your jobless dilemma. You seem to have a network of friends and decent people in your life. Have you considered asking for help? People want to help you, if you just ask. Not saying you haven't, it just seems to me because you've had to be independent your whole life, perhaps you don't ask for help.
Are you familiar with the band "Def Leppard"? When I was a kid, my babysitter used to rock out to "Pour Some Sugar on Me" and "love Bites"--I had no idea that the drummer, Rick Allen, lost his arm in a motorcycle accident. And he kept on playing. I mean, wow. We're talking about a world wide known band, here. and it's a Rock band, so it's not like playing drums for Mother Goose lullabys. and it's not like he lost his foot--an arm is pretty necessary for drumming. What I love about it is that he didn't give up, he recreated the context of what drumming was. It's like a story my friend told me about sex. Most people think of sex as penile-vaginal penetration. Gays altered it to include anal sex. Lesbians crated a context that doesn't often use penetration, or uses other things like fingers, tongues, toys. One time she came upon a paraplegic woman with a hot femme laid over her lap. She created sex as having nothing to do with her pussy. and what about an impotent man? Sex doesn't start at orgasm. Nor at touching. Sex starts in the mind. One handed drumming started in his mind. Your employment status starts in your mind. You'll figure it out.
I hope this finds you well nd on your way to gainful employement, no worries, good food and friends, and enjoying life.
With care,
--Sarah
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Letters from the Inside, Bart Corbin, #2
Hey Kelly,
Sorry. I hadn't thought of you as a school teacher :). Again, I received the letter on a Thursday so I could not mail you till Monday anyway.
No family for Thanksgiving? I hope you still had a good time. As I've (no reference to you) gotten older, I too have desire much more alone time. I can remember whe I almost needed crowds around me. Now I have one 24/7. Not what i had in mind.
Sorry, again, for the difficulties business is giving you. I hope some prospects are coming to light since your letter. It's tough everywhere, but real estate and advertising are some of the worst. Few things are recession proof (except alcohol). I read gyms too. I, or course, worked for myself also. It was the only real way to eventually be compensated as you thought worthwhile.
Have a great time in Japan. I've never been to the Orient. I never traveled much. It was one of the other things I meant to get to. I've been to Canada, the Cayman Islands a couple of times, Italy for a couple of weeks, and mostly domestic outside of that. I wish I had done more before the children were so young. Hey, maybe you can send me a cheap touristy postcard from there. Unless geishas are cheaper FexEx. :) My brother was in Thailand. he said they liked his belly. I bleieve it is a sign of being wealthy. Oh if that was all it took here :). He loved it. Sounded more like a man's paradise to me. I had a change to go to Segovia, Spain when I was in college. My Spanish teacher and I got along well and that was his hometown. He had just missed the cut to make the basketball team for the Olympics. He wasn't a big guy. Dated the Homecoming Queen for a while. I regret I didn't take him up on it, to see another country with a nature from then would have been perfect.
Well I'm not sure if the pictures do me justice, but I know this recent haircut doesn't. So hard to find a hair artiste these days. I supose they have to arrest more! :) Rob Lowe? (played me in the movie about my crime) Kind of surreal, but he is on the backside of his career, isn't he? He's not as tall or as big as I am. he shoudl research his projects more before accepting. Some people see this stuff and accept it as factual. Celebrities have too much benefit of the doubt and influence. Journalists do not write "true crime" books anyway; persuado "authors" do. Unfortunately, they feed a public blood-lust that is their substitution for boring lives.
I just finished reading "Hi Fidelity" that the movie was based on. I really liked it, easy read, but relevant in a funny way. I am now back on my classics kick and reading Hemingway's A Farewell to Arms. I read popular pulp too, but I like to sometimes lay back with some classics and read them. I don't feel quite so much like I wasted time.
I like most kinds of music: contemporary jazz, hard rock, some country. I don't care for most rap except for some of the more popular stuff. We can only receive cds here, no downloads, etc. and the radio reception is limited for the prison is a type of valley near some mountains not far from Alabama and Tennessee. We really only receive one station well.
We have TV and a little cable. Sports are on alot but we have a movie TV. The others tend to want to watch the same things over and over again like children. No DVDs with us anyway, so it is awhile before we see a new release. They call the TV the "Trick Box" here. Some here only live for what's on and you can get assaulted quick for arguments over what is to be on or changing a channel. I like Nirvana, also, I respect Tom Waits' writing.
You may be surprised how you would do in Georgia near Atlanta or in it. But its not the Big Apple. I imagine you would make friends where you want. Like I said before, one of my best girlfriends was from Rochester. I tend to speed it up too and get annoyed.
I have not been allowed contact with my sons since this time 2004. It always is hard for me and will continue to be. Their being kept from my mother and side of the family is an injustice that continues to be perpetrated by my in-laws. Nothing is ever enforced on them. I cannot call or write them or anything. I write them and send the letters and cards to my mother to keep so that one day maybe whthey can see I never forgot them. They live with my sister-in-law now. The one falsely portrayed as a heroine in the movie. None of those scenes actually happened, nor did the conversations. It must have really be a distortion because when she emailed my brother and disclaiming the movie before it aired.
I have received letters and interview requests as of recent. I will be forced now to at some time make a true account of things to counter the barrage of falsehoods portrayed as fact just so I may sometime have an opportunity at parole.
Anyway, I had no intention of rattling on for so long.
Hopefully, I will hear from you before your trip. If not, have fun, be careful, and soak in your Christmas and New Year in a memorable way.
Bart
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Letters from the Inside, Sarah Pender, #21
Dear Kelly,
I received a postcard & card yesterday and a letter today. The holiday delayed things, as well as our facility move. My new address is: [redacted].
It's a bigger facility, but I'm still stuck in a room, this one colder, smaller, more isolated, and with a rash of not-so-gracious staff.
My mind is slipping away.
And in the meantime, I write away.
I called mom today and she said everything was worked out on the blog. Thanks, Kelly. She still has problems posting. I guess she only has a notepad on her computer and it wouldn't copy and paste correctly. If it's not one thing, it's another. We just keep trudging along.
I liked the vintage postcard. We got that pressed turkey load, matching ham, cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes and biscuit, stuffing and pumpkin dessert for lunch and bologna for dinner. :) That's how the holidays go here. Nice lunch, bagged dinner to let the kitchen workers off 1/2 day.
You are stressed because you are losing clients and can't find work in NY. You cannot find new clients nor a regular permanent job. What about the Teaching Fellow job? And none of your friends have any leads for you? I understand you are worried, facing a serious deficit between what you'll be earning vs. your basic expenses. That would be depressing. In the meantime, aren't there plenty of seasonal jobs? Every year, companies hire people for a few months through the holidays. Even a month-long job could help toward the loss of your one clients until you 1) find another and b) get where you are permanently employed.
You could also make $120/day as a housekeeper. I hear New Yorkers pay well for white English-speaking women.
I'm sorry if that somehow offended you. I am really just trying to help. When I worked and needed extra money, I went to a local restaurant and worked P/T as a salad girl. I stayed so busy with 2 jobs that I didn't have time to spend money. I saved up for what I needed and did fine. In 3 months, I'd quit with them knowing I could come back whenever I needed cash. Perhaps that is beneath you, or not acceptable as a quality of life, but my Dad taught me 2 things: you do what you must when shit gets hard and anyone can find a job in a day if you want one badly enough. Even as America's Most Wanted Woman, I managed to get 2 respectable jobs in less than 30 days. Maybe you need to move to the Midwest to make that happen? Ever consider working for the government?
Just an idea.
I hope you are able to enjoy your trip to Japan, even with this stress. As beautiful as it is, packed with a wholly different culture, you can visit lots of places and experiences without paying out the ass.
Maybe you need a roommate.
Maybe you'll meet a wealthy, intriguing, neat guy in Tokyo who would love to treat and you Stef to a few days of extraordinary events. Maybe you'll fall in love. Maybe he'll be a knight in shining armor!
A girl can dream.
Wil you do a traditional Japanese tea? See geisha girls? Wear a kimono? Sit on the floor to eat? go to a temple? What modern attractions do you want to see? When will you leave to go?
Pictures, pictures, pictures!
Perhaps you can go se the flamboyant gay Cuban seer guy and he can tell you waht to do. I hope it doesn't include fresh pig blood or lives chickens. Take your RAID and secretly spray the protective roaches when he isn't looking. :)
I hope you have good news.
Sarah
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Letters from the Inside, Michael Swango, #65
Dear KK,
OK, one-eye Wolverine--with a bit more time than my rushed letter on Thursday, let me more properly answer your most interesting letter. I'm actually starting this on Saturday--your "sacred" Saturday--so you're already in my thoughts...
In the latest episode of that quirky FX series, "The League", I noticed that Mr. Schaeffer was not only creator and producer, but also director. So this series truly is his baby.
Another topic, before I forget: Anyone with a life, let alone a busy one like yours (despite your protests to the contrary) could not possibly see or follow a fourth of the shows on television. Even I can't! But I'd thought I would mentioned some of the other good television I've noticed the past few months:
[Ed. He lists: The Mentalist, The Good Wife, Sons of Anarchy, & Mercy.]
To your letter, m'lady: (in order/ so I don't miss anything):
>Love Chinese food, Kelly. Actually their version here is pretty good. As is all the food for the most part.
>In Africa I probably ate native foods much more than most other Westerners. Where we might to a pigroast here, in Zimbabwe they would slaughter & roast a couple of goats. Their African preparation is marvelous. No question you would be a fan.
Maize (corn) on the cob is a stable. You can buy them from vendors on the street--cooked to order over a fire. Until the economy collapsed and the farms were decimated, Zimbabwe was renowned for its beef. We're talking super-prime rib & cuts of all kinds. And incredibly inexpensive by our standards.
>I am of course not surprised that you are familiar with and fascinated by the Bernardo/Homolka case from Canada. I absolutely wnat to know more myself. My offer regarding one of those paperbacks remains open---IF you are willing. So much to discuss...
Just based on my limited knowledge, I think Karla was under Bernardo's control to some degree. Her low self-esteem plus Bernardo's ultra-"charmer" personality...were certainly part of it. I mean, they killed her own sister.
Do not underestimate the sexual power that Bernardo held over her. Again--a subject worth much more detailed discussion.
KK--Have the Canadians make any documentaries and/or films on the case? AND: Can you find out the latest on Ms. Homolka? Are the Toronto columnists still railing against her plea deal?
>The Universe hasn't said S___! You weren't chosen for one interview for one fellowship. The Universe is MUCH larger.
>Yes, the "abortion doctor" story was not pleasant, but I can tell you taht there are those rare but critical times when such procedures are medically imperative. and all women should know that the current politician du jour--Ms. Palin--if she had her way--would outlaw abortion even for rape and incest. Stunning.
Wow-that's about half of your letter: a good thing that came in a small package.
>I apologize for my "cryptic comments". Along with my OCD underlining, it is (I suppose) part of my effort to make our letters more like face-to-face conversation. My bad. No, nothing about a song or anyone else. Howver-it has been my experience that one of the best ways to know someone (in such circumstances as these) is by knowing the music or books or songs or interests that truly move them.
i.e. -- lay in dark room and listen to Ravel's "Bolero" or the first movement of Mozart's Clarinet Concerto in A.
OR Jeff Buckley's aching version of "Hallelujah" by Leonard Cohen and Sara McLaughlin's "In the Arms of an Angel."
KK--This is one reason why I would love to read a book or article or story that is particularly close to your heart---to understand and know you better.
Something about all four of these pieces of music touch something inside -- more than the average of such things for most people, or so it seems. and many more. Strange as it may seem for someone with my history, music is deeply, intricately, & intimately a part of me.
Isofar as my "willing & open partner:" I sense that you keep much of yourself separate from your letters. And that is, of course, perfectly OK. Unusual though, in that I may have mentioned that most people who have written want to discuss anything and everything. Remoteness & written word seem to foster a degree of openness and frankness.
But in so many ways, you are quite special--and I hope that as we continue to write and exchange thoughts & ideas we will grow closer and more free in our many discussions!
And I will try to avoid such cryptic comments in the future. Promse.
Must wrap this up so it goes out in the mail this evening. There will be, unfortunately, enough mail delays with the many holidays, especially on this end.
So briefly:
>Not surprised at all that your idea of a great Thanksgiving is cooking for one plus TV! You & I would get along just fine on holidays, KK! Since I was in college, I've worked virtually ever holiday of any consequence in some medical capacity. Some great holiday stories when we get to them...
They serve holiday meals here.
>A final note on music: It is rare that a pop song gets my attention: Mercy by Duffy was one in 7/08.
But--forget her bizarre get-ups & makeup: Lady GaGa's "Bad Romance" is hypnotic & brilliantly done. I can see it playing non-stop in the dance clubs. Add "Gossip Girl" and "Twilight/New Moon/Vampires" and I guess I"m 1/4th teenage girl!
You take care and stay well. Thinking of you. Have a safe holiday.
Yours,
Michael
P.S. OMG! KK-Fantastic!
As this letter goes out on Monday, I just received your most recent letter. In which we hear of Kelly's very potential NYC Teaching Fellowship after mistakingly being told "NO". Now you're at the final interview stage.
As mentioned earlier, I told you the Universe had not spoken, F___ no!
AND you are going ot the Far East for the holidays! Postacards for moi from everywhere!
Wow--So much good news--I am truly happy for you.
Must mail this now--Will discuss abo ve & more in next letter(s).
XOXO
OK, one-eye Wolverine--with a bit more time than my rushed letter on Thursday, let me more properly answer your most interesting letter. I'm actually starting this on Saturday--your "sacred" Saturday--so you're already in my thoughts...
In the latest episode of that quirky FX series, "The League", I noticed that Mr. Schaeffer was not only creator and producer, but also director. So this series truly is his baby.
Another topic, before I forget: Anyone with a life, let alone a busy one like yours (despite your protests to the contrary) could not possibly see or follow a fourth of the shows on television. Even I can't! But I'd thought I would mentioned some of the other good television I've noticed the past few months:
[Ed. He lists: The Mentalist, The Good Wife, Sons of Anarchy, & Mercy.]
To your letter, m'lady: (in order/ so I don't miss anything):
>Love Chinese food, Kelly. Actually their version here is pretty good. As is all the food for the most part.
>In Africa I probably ate native foods much more than most other Westerners. Where we might to a pigroast here, in Zimbabwe they would slaughter & roast a couple of goats. Their African preparation is marvelous. No question you would be a fan.
Maize (corn) on the cob is a stable. You can buy them from vendors on the street--cooked to order over a fire. Until the economy collapsed and the farms were decimated, Zimbabwe was renowned for its beef. We're talking super-prime rib & cuts of all kinds. And incredibly inexpensive by our standards.
>I am of course not surprised that you are familiar with and fascinated by the Bernardo/Homolka case from Canada. I absolutely wnat to know more myself. My offer regarding one of those paperbacks remains open---IF you are willing. So much to discuss...
Just based on my limited knowledge, I think Karla was under Bernardo's control to some degree. Her low self-esteem plus Bernardo's ultra-"charmer" personality...were certainly part of it. I mean, they killed her own sister.
Do not underestimate the sexual power that Bernardo held over her. Again--a subject worth much more detailed discussion.
KK--Have the Canadians make any documentaries and/or films on the case? AND: Can you find out the latest on Ms. Homolka? Are the Toronto columnists still railing against her plea deal?
>The Universe hasn't said S___! You weren't chosen for one interview for one fellowship. The Universe is MUCH larger.
>Yes, the "abortion doctor" story was not pleasant, but I can tell you taht there are those rare but critical times when such procedures are medically imperative. and all women should know that the current politician du jour--Ms. Palin--if she had her way--would outlaw abortion even for rape and incest. Stunning.
Wow-that's about half of your letter: a good thing that came in a small package.
>I apologize for my "cryptic comments". Along with my OCD underlining, it is (I suppose) part of my effort to make our letters more like face-to-face conversation. My bad. No, nothing about a song or anyone else. Howver-it has been my experience that one of the best ways to know someone (in such circumstances as these) is by knowing the music or books or songs or interests that truly move them.
i.e. -- lay in dark room and listen to Ravel's "Bolero" or the first movement of Mozart's Clarinet Concerto in A.
OR Jeff Buckley's aching version of "Hallelujah" by Leonard Cohen and Sara McLaughlin's "In the Arms of an Angel."
KK--This is one reason why I would love to read a book or article or story that is particularly close to your heart---to understand and know you better.
Something about all four of these pieces of music touch something inside -- more than the average of such things for most people, or so it seems. and many more. Strange as it may seem for someone with my history, music is deeply, intricately, & intimately a part of me.
Isofar as my "willing & open partner:" I sense that you keep much of yourself separate from your letters. And that is, of course, perfectly OK. Unusual though, in that I may have mentioned that most people who have written want to discuss anything and everything. Remoteness & written word seem to foster a degree of openness and frankness.
But in so many ways, you are quite special--and I hope that as we continue to write and exchange thoughts & ideas we will grow closer and more free in our many discussions!
And I will try to avoid such cryptic comments in the future. Promse.
Must wrap this up so it goes out in the mail this evening. There will be, unfortunately, enough mail delays with the many holidays, especially on this end.
So briefly:
>Not surprised at all that your idea of a great Thanksgiving is cooking for one plus TV! You & I would get along just fine on holidays, KK! Since I was in college, I've worked virtually ever holiday of any consequence in some medical capacity. Some great holiday stories when we get to them...
They serve holiday meals here.
>A final note on music: It is rare that a pop song gets my attention: Mercy by Duffy was one in 7/08.
But--forget her bizarre get-ups & makeup: Lady GaGa's "Bad Romance" is hypnotic & brilliantly done. I can see it playing non-stop in the dance clubs. Add "Gossip Girl" and "Twilight/New Moon/Vampires" and I guess I"m 1/4th teenage girl!
You take care and stay well. Thinking of you. Have a safe holiday.
Yours,
Michael
P.S. OMG! KK-Fantastic!
As this letter goes out on Monday, I just received your most recent letter. In which we hear of Kelly's very potential NYC Teaching Fellowship after mistakingly being told "NO". Now you're at the final interview stage.
As mentioned earlier, I told you the Universe had not spoken, F___ no!
AND you are going ot the Far East for the holidays! Postacards for moi from everywhere!
Wow--So much good news--I am truly happy for you.
Must mail this now--Will discuss abo ve & more in next letter(s).
XOXO
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Letters from the Inside, Barton Corbin, #1
About a month ago 48 Hours Mystery aired a show about Bartin Corbin, a successful, smart and handsome dentist with two kids whose wife was found dead, shot in the head. Georgian authorities assumed it was a suicide. It was found out she was having an online affair with a person she believed to be a man, only to find out later it was actually a woman. As police delved deeper they came across a startling discovery: While in dentistry school, Barton Corbin's girlfriend was also found with a bullet in her head and it was ruled a suicide. He was questioned and released. It would seem he had gotten away with murder twice, but not so... Eventually he confessed and pled guilty to both crimes.
You can learn a bit more about Barton and the case at the links below:
Barton Corbin Link One
Barton Corbin Link Two
You can watch the 48 Hour Show in parts on YouTube. To start you off, here is the first part: [the Synopsis of the case is written out on the CBS, 48 Hour Mystery site under: Love and Lies/Barton Corbin.
Two weeks ago Lifetime Movie Network had an original picture about the Barton Corbin case starring Rob Lowe. Chilling!
So I decide to write to Bart. He just wrote me back.
***
Ms. K*****,
Thank you for my card and letter you recently sent me. I did not receive it until the 19th, if that helps you understand turn-around time with the mail here. We only receive and can mail letters Mondays through Thursdays so I was no able to respond to yours unitl after the weekend. And I go by "Bart". Here they call me "Doc" for obvious reaons. By referring to the "TV Show" I assume that i sthe most recent piece of fiction ascribed to be about me, but there has been so many falsehoods, lies, embellishments, etc. that they would frame Oliver Stone as a credible historian by comparison.
You're right, it is indescribably boring in prison, and that may be its greatest torture from a day to day aspect. Of course, separation from your family and what "true" friends one may have is the worst, especially around special holidays.
I imagine there is no need to describe myself much since you have seen a little about me already. Outward dimensions: 6'3", 205lbs, brown eyes and hair. I'm about to turn 46. I read a lot here and enjoy working out just to keep myself up. We all like eating, but ht efood cures you of the enjoyment of it here; I never understand how a prisoner could stand enough of it here to get over-weight. No club fed here.
How has the real estate market downturn affected your usual business? They say I was in a recession-proof business, but I don't believe there is such a thing. I never made it to New York City, but I had a girlfriend from Rochester a long time ago and I made it though Buffalo on my way to Toronto, if you can believe that. I can't believe I didn't make it over there. I'm sorry you feel sometimes like you're living a cliche there,, but I, too, feel I am living a bad movie about the South sometimes also. I guess this is the inside looking out as opposed to the outside looking in opinion.
I see you're a "published writer" (nice picture) but I hope not to be included in media of any form. I believe I've padi my dues with regard to sensationalism and hope for some relief. I fear its populist effect on any future hopes I may entertain.
Well, I just wished to write you since you wrote me. If you would like to correspond, I would like that too. I am well as can be expected, I guess, and hope you are "holding it down" as they say here. By the time you receive this, I imagine Thanksgiving will be upon us, so I hope you enjoy yours. Wirte soon. This was as quickly as I could respond and the holiday will dlay, I am sure, our next letters. Till then...
P.S. do you like music? I like many forms, but I sitll like my somewhat "old school" rock. I just borrowed a friend's CHICKENFOOT cd (yes, cd :-) ) Ever heard it? Remember my dorm # on all letters. Y2A. It will arrive to me earlier.
Bart
You can learn a bit more about Barton and the case at the links below:
Barton Corbin Link One
Barton Corbin Link Two
You can watch the 48 Hour Show in parts on YouTube. To start you off, here is the first part: [the Synopsis of the case is written out on the CBS, 48 Hour Mystery site under: Love and Lies/Barton Corbin.
Two weeks ago Lifetime Movie Network had an original picture about the Barton Corbin case starring Rob Lowe. Chilling!
So I decide to write to Bart. He just wrote me back.
***
Ms. K*****,
Thank you for my card and letter you recently sent me. I did not receive it until the 19th, if that helps you understand turn-around time with the mail here. We only receive and can mail letters Mondays through Thursdays so I was no able to respond to yours unitl after the weekend. And I go by "Bart". Here they call me "Doc" for obvious reaons. By referring to the "TV Show" I assume that i sthe most recent piece of fiction ascribed to be about me, but there has been so many falsehoods, lies, embellishments, etc. that they would frame Oliver Stone as a credible historian by comparison.
You're right, it is indescribably boring in prison, and that may be its greatest torture from a day to day aspect. Of course, separation from your family and what "true" friends one may have is the worst, especially around special holidays.
I imagine there is no need to describe myself much since you have seen a little about me already. Outward dimensions: 6'3", 205lbs, brown eyes and hair. I'm about to turn 46. I read a lot here and enjoy working out just to keep myself up. We all like eating, but ht efood cures you of the enjoyment of it here; I never understand how a prisoner could stand enough of it here to get over-weight. No club fed here.
How has the real estate market downturn affected your usual business? They say I was in a recession-proof business, but I don't believe there is such a thing. I never made it to New York City, but I had a girlfriend from Rochester a long time ago and I made it though Buffalo on my way to Toronto, if you can believe that. I can't believe I didn't make it over there. I'm sorry you feel sometimes like you're living a cliche there,, but I, too, feel I am living a bad movie about the South sometimes also. I guess this is the inside looking out as opposed to the outside looking in opinion.
I see you're a "published writer" (nice picture) but I hope not to be included in media of any form. I believe I've padi my dues with regard to sensationalism and hope for some relief. I fear its populist effect on any future hopes I may entertain.
Well, I just wished to write you since you wrote me. If you would like to correspond, I would like that too. I am well as can be expected, I guess, and hope you are "holding it down" as they say here. By the time you receive this, I imagine Thanksgiving will be upon us, so I hope you enjoy yours. Wirte soon. This was as quickly as I could respond and the holiday will dlay, I am sure, our next letters. Till then...
P.S. do you like music? I like many forms, but I sitll like my somewhat "old school" rock. I just borrowed a friend's CHICKENFOOT cd (yes, cd :-) ) Ever heard it? Remember my dorm # on all letters. Y2A. It will arrive to me earlier.
Bart
Friday, November 27, 2009
Letters from the Inside, Michael Swango, #62-64
Ed.: Got three letters from Swango today. Most discuss recent movies and tv shows. I'll be omitting that, but typing passages from all three that I find noteworthy. Probably the thing that is noteworthy to me is that I wrote to him about how I feel Don Draper of Mad Men is a true sociopath. I listed the DSM characteristics of one and Swango (who has also been called one) agrees. I find it interesting that I'm discussing sociopathy with a sociopath.
Dear Kelly,
...
Now to everyone's favorite "classic narcissistic sociopath" --Don Draper. Your analysis is totally correct, in my opinion, and I know quite a lot about this subject, unfortunately... Your quotes from the DSM IV are on-point. And you are right, your friend is wrong: Don Draper has absolutely no remorse. He is only sorry when he is caught.
Is he or she one of those who believe I am (or was, or both) the Devil Incarnate?
KK--it's clear you have studied the subject and know it well. Does that freak out your friends?! The better question is: Have you run across any classic sociopaths in your personal or business interactions?
...
Dear KK (AKA Rachel!), (Chill out, Kelly, it's a joke!)
Glee continues to fascinate...
Hoping to receive one of your scintillating letters when a full mail week begins tomorrow. In the meantime some items to share with you:
...
I'm enclsoing a column by Julia Baird on Letterman and workplace romances/affairs.
So KK-- pray tell, have you ever had any workplace affairs, hookups, or relationships? Within hospitals, I don't need to tell you what goes on...so much sexual tension and so many extra-marital affairs.
I must say, you do meet some unusual folks out there in the dating jungle, Kelly!
Your "Paranormal Activity" date with NoteGuy truly sounds like an episode of SEINFELD! OMG! that habit of acting out things with your hands would get VERY annoying VERY quickly.
And hands fused to arms with no wrists: "Mannequin Hands". How did ten years of Seinfeld miss that gem?!
The handsign for "Going Dutch" would be a finger stuck in a dike/since the guy is screwing his date (moneywise)--- It's the middle finger!
Ok now--what am I missing? In your apartment, you lying in bed all snuggled up in your pink scrubs. Almost every nurse I ever knew started out in bed wearing scrubs...cute, sexy and so much more.
You invite him into bed sans shoes and fall asleep...And you say he is good looking and I assume sexually attractive and I assume you are to him as well...As Chelsea Handler would say, why did thistory not end with multiple penetrations, multiple orgasms, and the tasting of bodily fluids by both of you?
I would say--why were there not loving, powerfully sexual and intimate moments---bringing each other to orgasm, every possible way...in the warmth and heat of that very inviting bed??
Again, sorry to corss your imaginary lines, but you have to admit that your story/date was heading in that direction. C'est la vie... Then again, perhaps (like "man hands") the idea of mannequin hands pawing and caressing one's body was simply too much! Ok. I'll stop now.
***
Finally your extensive two-page blog about "REIDTARD" was savagely funny. Woe be to these men who cross your path! you summed it up perfectly in your final comment, "He is all smoke and a 99 cent mirror." OUCH!!
...
Thanks for the list of paperback books on Bernardo/Homolka. [Ed.: if you don't know about these two sociopathic murderers, Google those two last names. The story is wild and so awful.]
Comments on the whole subject to follow. Here's an idea: Choose one of those paperbacks and buy one for you and another sent to me via Amazon.com---and we can discuss in detail. Remember--this is a long-term project . Will discuss all aspects of their relationship---the sociopathy, possible Stockholm Syndrome, etc. etc.
Will address the "insight" and "windows" & "willing partner" aspects of your letter over the weekend--BUT the above: reading this book together--all out on the table, would be a great way to make a breakthrough.
"OCD Underlining"---Trying too hard to make a letter more like a face-to-face converatoin, with emphasis & relative importance, etc.
Yours,
Michael
Dear Kelly,
...
Now to everyone's favorite "classic narcissistic sociopath" --Don Draper. Your analysis is totally correct, in my opinion, and I know quite a lot about this subject, unfortunately... Your quotes from the DSM IV are on-point. And you are right, your friend is wrong: Don Draper has absolutely no remorse. He is only sorry when he is caught.
Is he or she one of those who believe I am (or was, or both) the Devil Incarnate?
KK--it's clear you have studied the subject and know it well. Does that freak out your friends?! The better question is: Have you run across any classic sociopaths in your personal or business interactions?
...
Dear KK (AKA Rachel!), (Chill out, Kelly, it's a joke!)
Glee continues to fascinate...
Hoping to receive one of your scintillating letters when a full mail week begins tomorrow. In the meantime some items to share with you:
...
I'm enclsoing a column by Julia Baird on Letterman and workplace romances/affairs.
So KK-- pray tell, have you ever had any workplace affairs, hookups, or relationships? Within hospitals, I don't need to tell you what goes on...so much sexual tension and so many extra-marital affairs.
I must say, you do meet some unusual folks out there in the dating jungle, Kelly!
Your "Paranormal Activity" date with NoteGuy truly sounds like an episode of SEINFELD! OMG! that habit of acting out things with your hands would get VERY annoying VERY quickly.
And hands fused to arms with no wrists: "Mannequin Hands". How did ten years of Seinfeld miss that gem?!
The handsign for "Going Dutch" would be a finger stuck in a dike/since the guy is screwing his date (moneywise)--- It's the middle finger!
Ok now--what am I missing? In your apartment, you lying in bed all snuggled up in your pink scrubs. Almost every nurse I ever knew started out in bed wearing scrubs...cute, sexy and so much more.
You invite him into bed sans shoes and fall asleep...And you say he is good looking and I assume sexually attractive and I assume you are to him as well...As Chelsea Handler would say, why did thistory not end with multiple penetrations, multiple orgasms, and the tasting of bodily fluids by both of you?
I would say--why were there not loving, powerfully sexual and intimate moments---bringing each other to orgasm, every possible way...in the warmth and heat of that very inviting bed??
Again, sorry to corss your imaginary lines, but you have to admit that your story/date was heading in that direction. C'est la vie... Then again, perhaps (like "man hands") the idea of mannequin hands pawing and caressing one's body was simply too much! Ok. I'll stop now.
***
Finally your extensive two-page blog about "REIDTARD" was savagely funny. Woe be to these men who cross your path! you summed it up perfectly in your final comment, "He is all smoke and a 99 cent mirror." OUCH!!
...
Thanks for the list of paperback books on Bernardo/Homolka. [Ed.: if you don't know about these two sociopathic murderers, Google those two last names. The story is wild and so awful.]
Comments on the whole subject to follow. Here's an idea: Choose one of those paperbacks and buy one for you and another sent to me via Amazon.com---and we can discuss in detail. Remember--this is a long-term project . Will discuss all aspects of their relationship---the sociopathy, possible Stockholm Syndrome, etc. etc.
Will address the "insight" and "windows" & "willing partner" aspects of your letter over the weekend--BUT the above: reading this book together--all out on the table, would be a great way to make a breakthrough.
"OCD Underlining"---Trying too hard to make a letter more like a face-to-face converatoin, with emphasis & relative importance, etc.
Yours,
Michael
Letters from the Inside, Sarah Pender, #20
Dear Kelly,
Great story, Absinthe- many years ago I read an article in my science magazine about what Absinthe used to be and what it is now (the lighter version). I thought my ex-boyfriend would have loved it. Reading your story CRACKED me up--especially the taxi-cab cigarette incident. Perfect!
A good bathroom stall fucking. Haha. That's what a lot of prison sex is. I shall liken it to Absinthe in my mind next time I'm in population and I hear soft moans coming from the stall next to me.
Still, nothing beats a drunken cigarette incident.
I'm excited to hear how your Christmas and New Year's vacaction goes. I bet the Tokyo fireworks will be fantastic!!! You enjoy such a wonderful adventures in your life.
You travel, enjoy creating food, stories, oral and written have a job you enjoy, live where you want to live, have perfect body, great friends, and yet still, you are depressed often. It shows that no matter your circumstance, good or bad, happiness doesn't depend on that.
What do you think you are missing?
Are you swapping your apt or Stef's?
What was the thrift store item? What were your six words? I'm curious.
So, you haven't dumped NoteGuy for his miming or mannequin wrists?
:)
So, now that you have gone further in the process of Teaching Fellow will you follow through with it? And get your Master in Edu? Or will you go through it all just to experience the process?
You are so talented.
Oh. Well, in news here--we've moved the entire institution. Saturday morning I was fed potatoes and grits followed by a not so friendly strip search , then greeted by a dozen black clad officers, some in bulletproof vests, helmet w/ shield and headsets (what exactly did they think we were going to do?) Who chained us up, put us on a bus designed to transport prisoners. An hour wait and 20 minute police escorted ride later, we arrive. Greeted by dozens of officers, some familar, and other 1WP staff, we are locked in our new rooms. Cold. Bright lights. Hard angles. Unfriendly. Chaos. Confusion. We get fed bologna lunch, dinner, followed by pizza. The Superintendant's gesture for rough day.
Sunday was full of craziness. Lights blaring at 5am. Can't shut off. Guard says it's punishment so we won't come back. One woman, infuriated, demands it off, then rips up her pillow and mattress, stuffs it in her toilet, floods her room and the hall. They put her in a padded room, then strip her room to bare concrete and leave her in there to freeze. (It's 67 in here. Feels like 55.)
Then we got fed more bologna. Some genius takes away everyone's toilet paper. Why? Because we might flood our rooms as well. yet they leave our blankets, clothes, and a dozen other more appropriate things to use to clog a toilet. Duh. More bologna. I get threatened w/ a write up for using sign language to communicate across the hall. More pizza. (2nd day of lockdown). The shower experience was simply weird. We get locked in a cage, with nowhere to put our clothes/towel inside the cage. The shower heads are positioned at 3' and 5' high. WTF? Press the button. Squat for 10 seconds it flows. Stand. Lather. Squat. Press. Rinse. Stand. Etc. The lower nozzle only served to spray my kneecaps. The top nozzle watered my armpits. I manage to get my towel, only to accidently drench myself. When I got out, I tell the guard, "I feel like i've taken a hallucingen, become the protagonist in Gulliver's Travels and I'm in the Land of the Lilliput." She loosk at me weird. I say, "These showers are built for 8-year olds." She answers, "This was a juvenile facility." I say, "Yes, but I haven't been that short since I was like ten. Are all the showers like this? (There were three other cages.) She says, "No but this is the one that the juveniles liked the best."
She put me in the handicapped shower.
Things are better today. Still, I feel like I might have a meltdown. Keep you posted.
Happy Turkey Day!
Sarah
Great story, Absinthe- many years ago I read an article in my science magazine about what Absinthe used to be and what it is now (the lighter version). I thought my ex-boyfriend would have loved it. Reading your story CRACKED me up--especially the taxi-cab cigarette incident. Perfect!
A good bathroom stall fucking. Haha. That's what a lot of prison sex is. I shall liken it to Absinthe in my mind next time I'm in population and I hear soft moans coming from the stall next to me.
Still, nothing beats a drunken cigarette incident.
I'm excited to hear how your Christmas and New Year's vacaction goes. I bet the Tokyo fireworks will be fantastic!!! You enjoy such a wonderful adventures in your life.
You travel, enjoy creating food, stories, oral and written have a job you enjoy, live where you want to live, have perfect body, great friends, and yet still, you are depressed often. It shows that no matter your circumstance, good or bad, happiness doesn't depend on that.
What do you think you are missing?
Are you swapping your apt or Stef's?
What was the thrift store item? What were your six words? I'm curious.
So, you haven't dumped NoteGuy for his miming or mannequin wrists?
:)
So, now that you have gone further in the process of Teaching Fellow will you follow through with it? And get your Master in Edu? Or will you go through it all just to experience the process?
You are so talented.
Oh. Well, in news here--we've moved the entire institution. Saturday morning I was fed potatoes and grits followed by a not so friendly strip search , then greeted by a dozen black clad officers, some in bulletproof vests, helmet w/ shield and headsets (what exactly did they think we were going to do?) Who chained us up, put us on a bus designed to transport prisoners. An hour wait and 20 minute police escorted ride later, we arrive. Greeted by dozens of officers, some familar, and other 1WP staff, we are locked in our new rooms. Cold. Bright lights. Hard angles. Unfriendly. Chaos. Confusion. We get fed bologna lunch, dinner, followed by pizza. The Superintendant's gesture for rough day.
Sunday was full of craziness. Lights blaring at 5am. Can't shut off. Guard says it's punishment so we won't come back. One woman, infuriated, demands it off, then rips up her pillow and mattress, stuffs it in her toilet, floods her room and the hall. They put her in a padded room, then strip her room to bare concrete and leave her in there to freeze. (It's 67 in here. Feels like 55.)
Then we got fed more bologna. Some genius takes away everyone's toilet paper. Why? Because we might flood our rooms as well. yet they leave our blankets, clothes, and a dozen other more appropriate things to use to clog a toilet. Duh. More bologna. I get threatened w/ a write up for using sign language to communicate across the hall. More pizza. (2nd day of lockdown). The shower experience was simply weird. We get locked in a cage, with nowhere to put our clothes/towel inside the cage. The shower heads are positioned at 3' and 5' high. WTF? Press the button. Squat for 10 seconds it flows. Stand. Lather. Squat. Press. Rinse. Stand. Etc. The lower nozzle only served to spray my kneecaps. The top nozzle watered my armpits. I manage to get my towel, only to accidently drench myself. When I got out, I tell the guard, "I feel like i've taken a hallucingen, become the protagonist in Gulliver's Travels and I'm in the Land of the Lilliput." She loosk at me weird. I say, "These showers are built for 8-year olds." She answers, "This was a juvenile facility." I say, "Yes, but I haven't been that short since I was like ten. Are all the showers like this? (There were three other cages.) She says, "No but this is the one that the juveniles liked the best."
She put me in the handicapped shower.
Things are better today. Still, I feel like I might have a meltdown. Keep you posted.
Happy Turkey Day!
Sarah
